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Mick Twister

@twitmericks.bsky.social
263 followers 163 following 45 posts

There was an old fellow named Mick, A topical verse was his shtick, But as dear old Twitter Got ever more bitter He jumped to Bluesky double-quick.

PostsRepliesMedia
Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
So farewell prime minister Starmer, Who quit after weeks of high drama Saw followers spurn 'im In favour of Burnham, Regarded as more of a charmer.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
A USA player's suspension, Picked up for a clear contravention, Was lifted by Fifa When Trump gave their chief a Quick bell to demand intervention. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...
bbc.co.uk
Donald Trump confirms asking FIFA to review ban to review Folarin Balogun red-card ban
President Donald Trump confirms he asked Fifa to review United States striker Folarin Balogun's one-match suspension at the World Cup.
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Reposted by Mick Twister
Boatman Cryptics @boatmancryptics.co.uk · 03/04/2026
Four people in space in a rocket Had a toilet that gave them a shock: it Had lost all its suck, Which was jolly bad luck, So they called someone out to unblock it.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
As NASA sent Artemis 2 To space with its four-person crew They had to confess, Though flushed with success, One thing that was not was the loo. www.space.com/space-explor...
space.com
There was a bit of toilet trouble on NASA's Artemis 2 mission to the moon
It wasn't their No. 1 problem, but it was a problem for going number one.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
Research into human fertility Finds spermatazoa motility Is best in the summer, While winter's a bummer For sperm as for general virility. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
Sperm swim more quickly in summer, study finds
Understanding the seasonal patterns of sperm could improve fertility treatments, by optimising the timing of treatment, the reasearchers say.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
A Monaco resident, Jim, Unwisely went out on a limb And slammed immigration; The rest of the nation Would quite like some taxes from him. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
Jim Ratcliffe sorry language 'offended some' after immigration comments
The Manchester United co-owner previously said the UK had been
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
A cow who is too cool for school Employing a stick as a tool To scratch her behind Suggests, experts find, Veronika's nobody's fool. www.theguardian.com/science/2026...
theguardian.com
Back-scratching bovine leads scientists to reassess intelligence of cows
Brown Swiss in Austria has been discovered using tools in different ways – something only ever seen in humans and chimpanzees
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
The fellow in charge in Caracas Was kidnapped by Trump in a fracas, A criminal act Designed to distract From problems besieging the jackass.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
A royal now banished to Sandringham, Who said other people were slandringham, Is now an ex-Prince Who failed to convince King Charles Epstein hadn't been pandringham.
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Henri @henriwords.com · 18/10/2025
Oh the Grand Old Duke of York He had twelve million quid He gave it to someone he never met For something he never did
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
A royal accustomed to splendour Was told he would have to surrender The title of Duke By way of rebuke For being a paedo-befriender. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
theguardian.com
Prince Andrew gives up royal titles including Duke of York after ‘discussion with king’
In statement released by Buckingham Palace, Andrew says he will give up titles and honours
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 20/07/2025
A list by a prominent paedo Of others who shared his libido, Which his former best Buddy hyped, then suppressed, Torpedoed the Trump-Maga credo. www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
Why the Epstein case looms large in MAGA world
A subset of Trump supporters are passionate about the case - and angry at the president.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 06/07/2025
The clerics of Bangor in Wales Collectively went off the rails, The spirit within These priests being gin, Prosecco and copious ales. www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
Bangor Cathedral had 'binge drinking culture' at diocese
Priests and choristers at a crisis-hit cathedral did a "seven last shots of Christ" drinking game.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
Two buddies shared love man to man, As much as two straight fellows can, But Musk's in a K-Hole And Trump is an a-hole So now the shit's hitting the fan.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
A fellow named Johan from Norway, Who lived rather close to the shoreway, Declared: "Beg your pardon, Your ship's in my garden, And damn near got stuck in my doorway!" www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
Man in Norway wakes to find huge container ship in garden
Johan Helberg says he was
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
A fellow named Johan from Norway, Who lived rather close to the shoreway, Declared: "Beg your pardon, Your ship's in my garden, And damn near got stuck in my doorway!" www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
Man in Norway wakes to find huge container ship in garden
Johan Helberg says he was
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
West African chimps in the mist Apparently cannot resist A fruit that's fermented - What makes them contented Is sitting around getting pissed. www.theguardian.com/science/2025...
theguardian.com
Wild chimpanzees filmed by scientists bonding over alcoholic fruit
Footage of apes consuming fermented breadfruit leads researchers to ask if it may shed light on origins of human feasting
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
A livestreamed fertility chase Has top seeds competing for pace: Which spermatazoa Swim faster or slower - It's who not comes first in this race. (Thanks to @johnthejack www.thetimes.com/us/news-toda... (£) timesofindia.indiatimes.com/science/worl...
timesofindia.indiatimes.com
World's first sperm race in Los Angeles brings male fertility into public spotlight | - The Times of India
Science News: Sperm Racing, a startup founded by young entrepreneurs, is set to host the world's first sperm race in Los Angeles on April 25. This unique event aims
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 12/04/2025
A Maga merch seller from China Dismissed the Trump tariffs as minor: His fans won't think twice, Whatever the price, They'll pay it in South Carolina.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
The faraway islands of Heard, To whom Trump's announcement referred, Face tariffs, they say, Because one fine day A penguin flipped Donald the bird. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
theguardian.com
Trump imposes tariffs on uninhabited Heard and McDonald Islands near Antarctica
Australian prime minister surprised after remote external territories – including islands home to penguins – targeted by US president
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 30/03/2025
A force meant to tackle lawbreakers Considers extreme troublemakers Those secret consumers Of breadsticks and hummus, The dastardly Westminster Quakers. www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crim...
independent.co.uk
Quakers condemn Met Police raid as six arrested in Westminster meeting house
Youth Demand said their members were planning non-violent protests in April when they were arrested in a Quaker meeting house
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
A high-up Republican chap Mis-shared on a messaging app; Despite Trump and Waltz Dismissing his faults, The dogs in the street know that's crap. www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...
nbcnews.com
Trump stands by national security adviser Mike Waltz despite disclosure of military plans, saying he’s ‘learned a lesson’
Trump said that even though the editor of The Atlantic was inadvertently added to a private chat about military plans, his presence had “no impact” on the military strikes in Yemen.
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Paula Clarke Bain @baindex.org · 22/03/2025
Word ↔ Puzzles conference was AMAZING! Great cryptic and literary crowd, top speakers inc. @johnfinnemore.bsky.social @susiedent.com @alanconnor.bsky.social @djbduncan.bsky.social @ecclescrosswords.bsky.social and glad to set a Pixie clue in the Platypus crossword: mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/2336
A full lecture theatre at Magdalen College, Oxford. Graphic on big screen says:
A CONFERENCE
CELEBRATING
LITERATURE +
WORD PUZZLES
in grey, yellow and green boxes in the style of a Wordle game. The conference organisers Roddy Howland Jackson (Quince) and Simon Horobin are on stage introducing the day.Dennis Duncan and Paula Clarke Bain sitting by a wood-panelled wall in Magdalen College Dining Hall.A group of cryptic crossword setters and solvers in Magdalen College Dining Hall: Josh (Iguess), Paula (Pixie), Jennifer (Guinevere), Rachel (Angel) and Matt.Lecture theatre showing the communally set Platypus crossword on the big screen being solved live by Simon Anthony and Mark Goodliffe from Cracking The Cryptic.
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Twm @twm-barlwm.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
The "Business as Usual" sign didn't help.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
Faecal Attraction
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
A theme park announced with some pride Its new toxic effluent ride; Alas the attraction Was put out of action When actual sewage was spied. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
theguardian.com
Alton Towers’ new toxic waste-themed ride briefly closes due to sewage leak
The Toxicator closed for about an hour on its first day after a burst pipe flooded the area nearby with sewage
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 07/03/2025
Are Trump, and his Maga alliance, Excessively placing reliance On Elon, whose pockets Are deep, but whose spaceships Explode? Well, it's not rocket science! www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
SpaceX rocket explodes, raining debris from sky for second time in a row
It grounded flights in Orlando, Miami and Palm Beach after debris concerns from Starship's failed launch.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 28/02/2025
There was an old bully named Trump, Who got in a terrible grump, When Mr Zelensky Caused major offensky By simply not kissing his rump. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
theguardian.com
Ukraine ‘gambling with world war three’, Trump tells Zelenskyy in fiery meeting
Meeting between US president and Ukrainian leader degenerated into shouting match before being cut short
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
A funeral parlour in China Is everyone's favourite diner As oodles and oodles Of folks taste their noodles And swear there's no restaurant finer. www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
Guizhou: Chinese foodies pose as mourners to try funeral home's noodles
The noodle dish, provided only to mourners, has gone viral on Chinese social media.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 18/02/2025
America opened discussions On war in Ukraine with the Russians; While Marco says howdy To Sergei in Saudi, Volodymyr fears repercussions. www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
Russia won't accept Nato troops in Ukraine, Lavrov says after talks with US
The meeting was the first time since Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine that Russian and American delegations are known to have met face-to-face.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 09/02/2025
The member for Gorton and Denton Was sacked over messages sent on WhatsApp that were snide, Career suicide Apparently what he was bent on. www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
Andrew Gwynne: Labour health minister sacked over WhatsApp messages
Gwynne apologises for the "badly misjudged" messages and is suspended as a Labour party member.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
A woman whose man had departed Did not sit around brokenhearted; Instead what she did Is WhatsApp a vid Or two of her bum as she farted. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
Gwynedd: Fart selfies used to harass woman's partner's ex
Woman gets a 12-month community order for sending a series of videos of herself on passing wind.
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Anthony Etherin @anthonyetherin.bsky.social · 05/02/2025
Rot in a jar of edam I made for a janitor. #palindrome
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 05/02/2025
A man of unstable opinions Wants Gaza to join his dominions With no Gazans in it; He might take a minute To sound out a few Palestinians.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
A fellow of doge-y repute Who's Trump's newest tech bro recruit, The flashest and rashest, Came out as a fascist By giving a Nazi salute.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
Delusional President Trump Was rescued by God on the stump, Or so he declares, As billionaires Pay homage by kissing his rump.
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Anthony Etherin @anthonyetherin.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
FALL OF MAN (Anagram-Snowball) A., as sad, said ideas raised despair. Paradise, appraised, disappears.
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v.edgy (the dot is silent) @vdotedgy.bsky.social · 06/01/2025
Sporting, I'm afraid to be blunt, means enjoying the Boxing Day hunt for Nigel Farage, so Musk's sabotage seems a fitting publicity stunt.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 06/01/2025
The plutocrat Nigel was courting, Despite all his lies and distorting, Went on to disparage His minion Farage, Which doesn't seem terribly sporting. www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 30/12/2024
The body in charge of world chess Decided it must acquiesce; The wearing of jeans, It says, contravenes No rule - but please dress to impress. www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
Carlsen to rejoin chess championship after jeans dispute resolved
The world champion quit the tournament on Friday after being told he had breached the dress code.
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Anthony Etherin @anthonyetherin.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
From my third book, THE ROBOTS OF BABYLON: penteractpress.com/store/the-ro...
penteractpress.com
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
In Syria, Bashar Assad Killed even more folks than his dad, But every dictator Falls sooner or later So now he's gone running to Vlad.
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
There was an old fellow from Seoul Who got himself into a heoul; He called martial law Then had to withdraw, Undoing a major own geoul. www.theguardian.com/world/2024/d...
theguardian.com
South Korea’s president lifts martial law in the face of united opposition
Rightwing president backs down after most serious challenge to country’s democracy since 1980s
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
According to dinosaur poo And fossilised samples of spew, They owed their position To proper nutrition, So come on kids, finish your stew! www.reuters.com/science/fece...
reuters.com
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Mick Twister @twitmericks.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
There was an old fellow named Mick, A topical verse was his shtick, But as dear old Twitter Got ever more bitter He jumped to Bluesky double-quick.
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