Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 15/08/2026Every time something absolutely appalling and terrible happens to me, I just think of all the shiny medals I’ll get in heaven as god’s strongest little soldier. 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 08/07/2026What’s it called when everything is really, really bad. But it’s been this way for like a long time. And it’s probably not getting worse? I’m sure there’s a German word for it. 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 17/06/2026Found myself in one of those “definitely-not-making-it-into-the-lore-drop” situations recently. We are quietly retconning that chapter. 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 18/03/2026“Oh no, a slightly melted Ferrero Rocher,” Said maybe one person ever. 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 24/02/2026My spouse didn’t know that hot dogs have always been “in.” 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 06/01/2026Some of my friends wanted to get together in the jacuzzi. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t heat up. I suggested taking simultaneous baths in our respective homes while thinking of each other. Didn’t go over well at all. 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 17/12/2025I don’t think I could fit an entire average sized horse into the skin suit of an average sized human. The volume is the thing. 011
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 01/12/2025Let’s make Christmas shopping easy this year. Click the link in my bio for 78% off ashtrays. 021
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 01/12/2025Ready made French Onion Dip is making this generation soft. Give me a paper packet of dip mix and a tub of sour cream just like our grandmother’s had. 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 21/06/2025I love how dynamic their noses are. My little princess angels. 030
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 30/04/2025My cat tried to make a break for it earlier and he was thwarted by me and the dogs. I think he’s now trying to Annie his way out. 031
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 24/03/2025Every time I see that Beyoncé/ Levi’s jeans commercial, I wonder what kind of dirt Levi’s jeans has on Beyoncé. 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 24/02/2025Don’t be afraid to be a meatloaf girlie in a world full of Ruebens. 030
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 07/12/2024I went to Shaq’s Big Chicken one time, and now they email me everyday. 030
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 13/11/2024If you have any questions about ticks, ask these two (they know about ticks, ugh). 141
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 23/12/2023There is nothing more crushing (then invigorating) than dipping your warm bread into a little plastic cup of ~*butter*~ only to find (because it’s a little bit dark in the room [and you’re a little bit high]) that it’s actually that parmesan cheese sawdust stuff. 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 25/08/2023I’ve learned that 90% of having a dog is fishing things out of their mouth. 020
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 19/08/2023This year, we gave the squirrels critter food with dehydrated corn kernels in it. Now several months later, we have their tendency to bury things to thank for this bountiful harvest. 021
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 19/07/2023The only reason my dog and I go for hot girl walks is so we can come home and eat hot girl cheese in the dark like a couple of goblins. 010
Tuesday @tuesday.bsky.social · 13/07/2023The agreement is, any spider I see has to die. My husband won’t kill them though. So as a compromise, he tosses them into the old lady next door’s yard. Everybody wins. 030
