Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Get you gone, you dwarf, You minimus of hindering knotgrass made, You bead, you fucking acorn! 1200
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 14/09/2026He’s the best in the business behind the stumps, especially stood up 001
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 11/08/2026No, it’s the same amount of stuff produced by fewer people 100
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 04/08/2026The old foil before they made it junkie-proof. I can recall that viscerally. Eeesch 010
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 04/08/2026Agree. Glad we are both on the right side of history on this one. 110
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Or does he not count cricket played exclusively by female players as “cricket” so simply bringing more of them into “cricket matches” will dilute the cheating without anyone actually changing their on-field behaviour? 000
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 02/08/2026What’s the mechanism? Is he saying that men’s bad behaviour is the fault of the women who should be taking responsibility for men’s behaviour? 100
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 10/07/2026I always wanted to be a comedian but I didn’t have the Latin 010
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 24/06/2026BREAKING: Andy Burnham plans to move some of the functions of the Mayor of Manchester to Westminster 010
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 08/06/2026It’s an unusual stance, but whatever works for you 100
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 02/06/2026cashier: are you an existing customer? me: *stares into void of possibility of my own non-existence* I… think so, most days at least 150
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 28/05/2026Melvyn himself was quite capricious, mostly tea but he’d have coffee now and again to keep everyone on their toes 120
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 28/05/2026Haha someone, somewhere please have a spreadsheet on this 230
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 27/05/2026But, if you both only have 10p left in your account at the end of the month, you are equally poor, right? 100
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 22/05/2026“And Jack and Lucy, you won’t be going home empty handed. You’ve won our second prize, a fully capable nuclear deterrent! That comes with its own seat on the UN Security Council as well. Lovely” 000
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 13/05/2026OP almost certainly massively overfilled the kettle 120
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 13/05/2026So familiar, families will fall into exactly these patterns of language to avoid acknowledging something difficult or unwelcome 000
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 27/04/2026You make it in two stages. The tomato only affects the result through the sauce that you make in stage 1. It delivers something tasty but not exactly what you announce to the world you have created 120
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 22/04/2026One of those Anakin memes - she’s responsible for the errors in the book - so you made her a coauthor, right? - <blank look> - right? 1100
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 21/04/2026My heart goes out to everyone personally affected by abuse. I guess we all see how much it matters to people 110
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 21/04/2026I wrote a letter of complaint to the cinema that showed us the trailer. Just cannot understand how the whole idea doesn’t make everyone want to vomit. 110
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 21/04/2026Does he also think “Get Lucky” is the sound of the summer? 130
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 21/04/2026Yes, sorry I am really thinking about transparency on the part of the modellers 000
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 21/04/2026Always feel like these sort of graphs should make their assumptions more explicit. Take one country and show the historical/projected birth rate (and maybe death rate) and the population level and projection on different axes. It’s a start to showing everyone what the experts have actually done. 110
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 18/04/2026Given the lags in house building, the causation could well run “large housing projects approved” -> “elect minor party that opposes further development “ 020
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 17/04/2026It’s not a real orgy unless you are in the Orge region of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling swinging. 051
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 16/04/2026Who would you most like to see completely fail to score in an open goal in the opening ceremony this time? 200
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 16/04/2026You never know, could be “increase savings by 97% but do it a year earlier” 010
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 13/04/2026“I automatically get in line, body behind the bat and ball. But no one ever told me what to do next.” 020
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 08/04/2026My t-shirt saying “everyone’s forgotten about it” is getting a lot of questions already answered by my t-shirt 070
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 02/04/2026The “why don’t we build a pipeline across hundreds of miles of mountainous desert” guy not looking so stupid now 010
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 02/04/2026Our long-awaited family holiday to Japan is booked for July. First attempt was Easter 2020. It may get to the point we will have to stop trying to go to Japan. 030
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 27/03/2026But at least it’s better now than this time next year 010
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 20/03/2026In the future, everyone will be the median Briton for 15 minutes 010
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 19/03/2026In response to your request, I can confirm we hold the jokes you requested about civil service transparency. However I cannot release them because a national security exemption applies. 000
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 19/03/2026and fans aren’t happy seems like a great name to me 020
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 18/03/2026They should have asked the other author what it thinks 010
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 17/03/2026On the specifics, it is worth running a counter factual - if Mehidy had thrown and missed the wicket, would the batters have run? Surely yes. 020
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 17/03/2026I agree with this. I think, in general, a player trying to get someone out can never be a spirit of cricket issue. That is their job. The captain is responsible for whether to withdraw the appeal on spirit grounds and should be accountable for that. 111
Tom Stewart @tomstewart80.bsky.social · 13/03/2026Isn’t it the ultimate honour to the old lush that we have literally run out of humans capable of replacing him? 021
