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Tim Yocum

@tky.io
140 followers 200 following 520 posts

I get paid to press buttons on the Internet. Literally and quite often figuratively. ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶, Urbs in Horto, etc.

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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 07/09/2026
As seen at MSI's Steelmaking exhibit, and as relevant to contemporary computer operation as it was in 1960s steelworking.
A vintage sign that reads CAUTION in large yellow letters on a red background followed underneath by all-caps black letters on a yellow background reading THIS MACHINE HAS NO BRAIN USE YOUR OWN
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 04/09/2026
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 30/08/2026
Post your getaway vehicle
Catbus, whose door-opening move deeply creeps me out.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 19/08/2026
I’m always excited by “bug fixes and performance improvements” but this week my (horrible) thermostat promises to deliver an updated “consent experience”(!!)
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 09/08/2026
No better way to encourage volunteerism than the prospect of one day getting a memorial trash can and plaque
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 26/07/2026
Did a bit of a double-take while perusing kid books today
Kids book entitled “oh, yuck!” with the “y” obscured
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 24/07/2026
Sometimes you get the benefits package without being an employee!
New Yorker cartoon showing the MAGA circle of life from red hat pal to knife in the back has-been, a tale as old as time and as bulletproof as don’s stupid ear
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 12/07/2026
Mitch McConnell and Elaine Chao. Mitch is holding a newspaper and looks absolutely zooted outWeekend at Bernie’s ad. Bernie looks healthier than Mitch.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 28/06/2026
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 14/06/2026
I have questions but mostly I hope they arrived at their destination safely.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 10/06/2026
I guess I'm going to need a new hat.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 02/06/2026
oh good slop has come to make captchas even more stupid
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 02/06/2026
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 31/05/2026
Perfect vanity plate and frame combo, no question. (s/o to @sorenspicknall.bsky.social who has the total package — this was on a regular Jeep.)
A license plate from Illinois, “CADAVER” with a frame that reads “Beep beep creeps” and “Honk if you’re haunted” purporting to be from the “discount cemetery Los Angeles”
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 28/05/2026
Companies that add me to mailing lists then gaslight me into thinking we were ever in a consensual "relationship" need to stop using the cute language at a minimum.
A screenshot from an opt-out page that includes the gaslighting and immaturely stupid "No more calls, no more texts -- we're breaking up" text, a common line  used by marketers who think the exotic dancer really does love them.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 27/05/2026
Thanks to Progressive Flo’s divine providence I will be pocketing an additional twelve dollars this year. 📈
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 09/05/2026
Plotted on a map for fun. Surprised to not see more obvious bias.
Map showing 500 complaint locations across the US
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 04/05/2026
Yikes. Even if these prices don’t impact you personally, they will.
Gas prices: 5.99, 6.49, 6.99 and 6.69 for diesel
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 23/04/2026
Lazy App Store release notes broke containment and now plague my extremely old Kobo reader. Skip presenting users with this screen if you can’t reveal ONE fixed bug and/or ONE thing with more stability!
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 22/04/2026
Judging by those ladders someone’s Kubernetes cluster is getting a LOT of shit installed today
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 14/04/2026
One of these Azure dashboard icons represents "Subscriptions", the other "Key Vaults" Neither are selected, even though you might think the second one is selected by virtue of the blue circle. No, that's what makes it a "vault" much like a key somehow represents a "subscription"
A series of icons from Azure whereby they took the one for "Subscriptions" which is, for whatever reason, a key, and then drew a circle around it and called it good enough to represent their key vault service.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 13/04/2026
Checks out
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 12/04/2026
This building also served as a backdrop for a filming location in “The Package” where Pullman briefly became East Berlin.
A white car sits parked outside a curved building with concrete columns on a movie set made to look like 80s East Berlin
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 10/04/2026
How it feels to be working today.
Man casually mows his lawn while a tornado looms nearby
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 27/03/2026
He can be defeated with his own weapon
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 25/03/2026
America will spend $20 billion on a border wall and $17.50 on a carne asada torta from the people it's trying to keep out.
A confused looking ICE officer holding a bag from Tortazo at O'Hare. Author hopes the food self-deports in the officer's pants.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 25/01/2026
This machine kills fascists
An orange whistle
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 19/01/2026
post a car picture you took
A Franken-car electric conversion
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 30/12/2025
~60 pounds ago, I was buying a t-shirt at the Apple store and ran into Tim Cook. He was very kind; his assistant was extremely antsy because they were running late to a meeting or something. Cook didn't care. He chatted and graciously posed for a selfie. Good thing I hadn't showered or shaved yet...
Two Tims. One is appropriately groomed, the other is a slob.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 28/12/2025
Not sure I agree. I have the flattest of flat asses and oh did you know the F40PH locomotive can generate 2.4 MW? Also that picture frame is absolutely crooked. (Alt text provided for accessibility and clarity.)
Screenshot from X, The Everything App, of a NY Post article (derogatory) claiming that PAWGs are probably into trains and can’t focus on anything.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 24/12/2025
Yes, people do use @theonion.com’s wrapping paper inserts in case you were wondering. Also, passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood
A nice gift wrapped in The Onion’s annual Xmas paper featuring the world’s dumbest rich guy.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 22/12/2025
Day made: behold the many fashions of cook county treasurer Maria Pappas, who will see me through each month of 2026 with a fresh look
Maria Pappas, style icon, with a fresh look every month
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 15/12/2025
Stop using Google. It's feeding you slop. If they're going to assert the rantings of an elderly man as truth about Rob Reiner's death, what else are they misinforming you about every day?
Google's search result for "Nick Reiner" includes Trump's deranged self-centered rant as Rob Reiner's cause of death which is, of course, ridiculously stupid, but we also live in the dumbest possible timeline where someone on the Internet is undoubtedly snickering gleefully in their mother's basement at this erroneous result while awaiting their Mom to cut the crusts off their peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 13/12/2025
Maybe we can summon the Dessert Fox to take care of “Sarang” here.
A food delivery robot named after an infamous Nazi because that’s a sentence that seems normal in the year of our nightmares, 2025.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 12/12/2025
Rapture! At the Wonderfest
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 09/12/2025
Fortunately all sidewalks are always shoveled to their full width, making it possible for strollers, pedestrians, and those with mobility aids to…yeah.
A food delivery robot makes a sidewalk impassable.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 27/11/2025
Heated mattress pad showed up just in time!
Temperature graph showing 50 to 20 swing over a day.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 09/11/2025
Meta Ray Bans probably recording for this agent’s personal enjoyment, and what appears to be a Templar Cross on the mag carrier. Yikes.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 22/10/2025
the ladies love it
3d printer waste aka what bryan johnson is missing out on
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 20/10/2025
Guess we all need hats now
Old timey hat with a card that says “press”
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 15/10/2025
introduce a progressive tax called the Ella French Plan
Guy sweating over the choice between two buttons: yes and no
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 03/10/2025
This is not a great look. Pair that with the Blackhawk that’s sightseeing over the loop RIGHT NOW and I’d say perhaps it’s time for something more than camera phones and strongly worded skeets?
Cops and masked feds doing what they do
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 22/09/2025
Pick an arm, kid, we have 77 more blends to go
A gas pump. Unlike young girls, something Don Trump has never touched.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 17/09/2025
I’m not proud
A screenshot showing 496 tabs, a testimony to apathy
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 15/09/2025
UM EXCUSE ME I AM HERE FOR THE 2026 CALENDAR
A doodle interrupting Very Important Browsing via crotch route 1 to make a new round of demands.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 09/07/2025
I'm Corey's colleague and I'd like to augment Linda's already stellar bona fides
Linda posts "Hot dog" on X, the everything for Nazi's app, and though it's amusing 490 people felt more needed to see it, we need more information on the 66 people who bookmarked it.
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Tim Yocum @tky.io · 11/06/2025
It works! 👏👏
A screenshot showing the 311 app wherein a ticket was issued for trash trucks being too loud, too early.
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