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t.r.

@thoushallkill.bsky.social
139 followers 159 following 235 posts

"🇲🇲"⚧︎⚢☭; poet &c; work in places you can find; @ work on malfunction, machine +// for schizopoetic robotgirls; always in translation 🎵 words & work @ trsan.neocities.org. on gadigal land.

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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
t.h. naisby
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
ellis eugene in @fullhouselitmag.bsky.social
orange marmalade

jar empty, washed out
and up. remember sugar?
honey, you never tasted
honey, and the bees are so tired,
the sun dozes off in the sky
like a bruminating bear in its cave,
dark musky warm how   cavernous
      the sky.
and the bees are so tired, honey,
and the flowers fall into a sleep
       too
orange marmalade, isn’t that jarring?
honey, when the sun wakes up 
       (i hear it stirring—)
we’ll wash our jars
       and walk through beeless buzzless woods.
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
yeah thank you so much for reminding me of it. i think in its length i haven't taken the time to receive some of these lines on their own or scaled down... but if i have to pick what leaves me reeling the most it's this part always
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
graffiti that reads, in swirly lettering: “asexual”
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
"ripening", simon shieh
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
omg yayy tysm for reading ;-; getting to put “i said well i’m sorry” without anything else on the page was one of my favorites too! here’s an undithered picture of the flower ehe
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
play my 700-word kinetic VN made for #toxicyurivnjam about summers that feel bad & make you lose your mind ♥️ thoushallkill.itch.io/summersound
SUMMERSOUND


"On the windows/ our heat turns/ into droplets of water// and I know some things/ we will never get back." 

— "Ripening," Simon Shieh

𓈒𓏸.°•

summerheat in everyone's insides. 

city sweat can take you back to childhood countryside. your young lover can get too old, & yet not old enough. you can love the woman who made a girl of you. you can want to love the woman who made a girl of you. it is hard to write & carry silence. & you know, you do, that on the seabed there are many mad with waiting.


for the impenetrable girls. cw for implications of grooming & abuse

𓈒𓏸.°•

⋆˚꩜ 700-word micro kinetic novel

⋆˚꩜ made for toxic yuri vn jam 2

⋆˚꩜ made using internet janitor's decker

⋆˚꩜ color palette: sarahboev's purplemorning8

⋆˚꩜ photography & writing by me
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
THATS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TWEETS i quote it all the time 😭
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
if gfm is your preferred way to donate, here it is! urgent help is NEEDED! thank you so much for sharing around! gofund.me/fcf83e5d4
EMERGENCY SURVIVAL FUNDS NEEDED

We are a Black trans disabled couple with a cat, no steady jobs and limited options.

I (TK) had health issues that forced me to take a leave of absence for 6 weeks. the physical and mental health issues from this job resulted in me leaving it and i was the primary breadwinner. neither i nor my wife (Yvie) has a full time job yet. a car was finally able to be purchased but we don't have enough funds to insure it for gig work. both human and cat food are running out fast.

we are looking for urgent help w/ rent and car insurance, but would also deeply appreciate support with other utilities/groceries. $1300 by 4/4, 4k total. that should keep us above ground for at least two months.

TK can do editing, transcription, and auditory work (podfics, monologue readings, etc.) They are also a crocheter and are hoping to start crocheting little flags/keychains and are willing to send them as thanks for donations. Jae does graphic design and music production so feel free to reach out for any commissions. As soon as we are able, we will give back. Please consider helping us through this difficult time.

cash & vnmo: torkz428
paypl: torkz
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
hi, we are still raising funds !! we need $1k by the 30th - reposts & contributions are all appreciated!!!!
a photo of a young hyena on a rock in the background. the text reads: the last ask for this month/hopefully for a little bit as my friends finally move to safer housing - we just need $1k more by the 30th. 
cash & venmo: torkz428 
help a Black trans disabled couple move states this pride/belated juneteenth!!!!!!
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
re: lrp re: ziyoou-vachi / avu barazono do we also know that her 2011 album majogari/ "witch hunt" had a cover that is most likely an anthy himemiya ref
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
format: cd-r + piece of hair
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
URGENT request: survival funds needed for a disabled black trans woman & her partner! they need 2k USD to stay safely housed in the months ahead, & need funds for food in the meantime. please help out in any way you can 💗 vnmo + cash: torkz428 pypl: torkz
a ginger cat on a front lawn. image used for post visibility
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
pissforpumpkin.bandcamp.com/album/scared...
i forgot in piss discussions this morning that broken social scene i'm still your fag is technically pissgem. To Me. one of my favorite lyrical uses of the word. "to see if i could live".....

& this [conditioner by piss for pumpkin] is decent enough. i love music. you can make "i love peeing in the shower" so emotionally loaded. it might sound like ridicule but no i am every bit serious about how earnestly moved i am

& it comes back around to the noisier first track's "take a shower/ go thru the motions/ flies buzzing/ i'm pissing/ we're undercover/ or we're kissing" [july by piss for pumpkin]
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
translation debut. forgot to post here, apologies… you should be reading min chit paing
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
teaser for a yuri micro-VN i may or may not finish
Air on my skin makes me insane. Air on my skin makes me think of my 16-year-old and first time crying into Susu's blouse. How I felt so exposed

with her touching the back of my neck. My very thin dress. And her shh. She knew everything about me then. She says I haven't told her a single

solid thing since.
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
ok i’ve got links up now.. & handwriting reveal winnowing.neocities.org/mortem
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
i love light-color-sight, went to the gallery, made everything mine & crude :) gentileschi playbox but also: john perceval's the acrobat angel; kevin connor's figure in a haymarket winter park; brett whiteley's woman in bath; kuba dorabialski's field recording
the acrobat angel, 1958, john percevalfigure in a haymarket winter park, 1963, kevin connorwoman in bath, 1963, brett whiteleyvideo still from kuba dorabialski’s field recording (2025)
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
] across, an entire coarse
] margin,        of             name
]-shaped
] opening.
] strong, pleasing.        noticeable


] shades of
] old,
] shredded forms          Some
                                                  ] only


                                            ] long            to
                                                   ] own      orname    contain
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
uma oomfs is this correct
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
🌊🌊 poorly scanned acrylic & gold leaf on paper
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
speaking of the park:
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
we defeated the itchio devil & can finally now upload the postmortem (part 1! with more to come! woah) for contenere our #dollandkigujam novella... please read okay frenchie was fighting for their life sorting this out for an entire day. thank youuu catreturn.itch.io/contenere/de...
We’re OK w/ David Antin Now (& We Heart Carrie Lorig)
Frenchie brought up the jam → we came up with a very loose idea together (dollgirl ♡ girldoll… but also like not really because what constitutes girlness/dollness… so what justifies what gets to be premodifier/head in the compound noun…) → a few days of excitement passed and then it dawned on me how Also Very Scared I was, because I’m not a prose person and Frenchie is very much a prose person… can poetrygirl and proseguy build dollworld together…? And not have it fall to pieces…? (note from proseguy: yes we can. i think our dolls r awesome.) Do you get why I couldn’t be toxic? Dolly’s mission to hate was cut off by Kigu being cute. Her moe is unmatched.)

[reze receiving the flower denji threw up captioned: "Dolly after seeing the atonement pancakes: MISSION POSTPONED !!!!!"]

[reze & denji in battle captioned: Kigudolly scissors scene if we went down the evil route]HER PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM (Alice)




update i’ve changed my user: go find me @cowboy_variant

So after Contenere went live, I was feeling very excited and very much like Timothee Chalamet promoting Marty Supreme. And now, a week (and two months later!), I’m still feeling like that! I’m just proud of what we managed to come up with, and I want the entire world to see Kigu and her weird relationship with being a girl (as far as cishet societal norms go). 

Anyway, as part of my promotion, I had this thread on Twitter where I was like, here is some extra stuff about Kigu, just because I felt like talking about her. As you can see, I think she still has a lot of Stacey Richter in her fairytale-like desires, but there’s something else going on with her!Speaking of Impenetrability… All Bodies Are Penetrable 

WE DON'T LIKE FREUD!
a necessary(?) disclaimer 

Frenchie and El hate Freud!!!

We discuss sex—by all its definitions—a fair bit here! A forewarning!

I hope by now it’s quite apparent that we wanted to facilitate a reading of Dolly as a trans girl. I think understanding her through that lens is essential to catching on to some of the more nuanced and subtextual aspects of her character (like the question: how does that doll know so much and also nothing? I don’t know how many times we’ve said it thus far, but again, more on that later.) This is a story about depolicing the boundaries around flesh
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
uhhhh because i have more itchio people on here: has any of you had trouble publishing a postmortem or a longer update in a similar vein.... our postmortem is only 13k words but we've been trying for like 3 hours at this point & it's not letting us publish
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
covered a lot of ground! with more to come…
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
also: the music. shoop eh doop eh doop eh doop
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
poem in @somewordslit.bsky.social: 2 people, unspeaking & wishing the other would speak 1st, &c… how music attempts to be conduit of what is felt & unvoiced & felt-unvoiced between the uncommunicative & fails. could we all be lighter if soundless? &c&c. pls read ♥️ somewords.boards.net/thread/87/san
in another life we were builders; in another
universe no sound learns to ring itself out;
with no wind to run us through no language no

signal for suffocation
no shapes for names cat power is “more” charlyn marshall
& the street haunters are normal & everyone hates dogs less
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
^_^ borrowed. i heart the library. modern poetry & wanting in arabic are rereads, this time with a physical copy
a stack of books: lyn hejinian’s my life in the nineties, diane seuss’ modern poetry, trish salah’s wanting in arabic, ariana reine’s the cow, dan chiasson’s the afterlife of objects
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
1 of 2 micros up today on @xraylitmag.bsky.social ♥️ the other one's shorter & a lot more violent & named after the aura readers song named after the '94 movie. both pieces about showing up to the old dive bar & picking a fight. i think you should read them both :) 🔽
Erotes, Push-Pulls, Transactions, Economies

I like sex because I don’t like sex and I like the not-liking. I would state this then clink with quiet Hninsi and they would stare, hungry, at the two shots colliding rather musically. The appeal was an impenetrability. 

I was told the bar had a 30k kyats/hour rate for the giggers, which wasn’t bad pay. I thought maybe I’d consider it for when my talking-my-talk ran out. Something was always running out. The tabby kitten of my sweet friend Kalyar ran out into the street last week and got pulped by a car and died. Then Kalyar started calling me every night over the past week. We quickly ran out of things to beat around the tabby corpse with, and I was running out of my reserves of reciprocal sweetness, so I turned my phone off, hit Hninsi up, and came back to the boys. I wanted to be paid for my unsweetness in whatever currency they got on them—they’re easy. You only had to pretend to be interesting, and I was interesting, no pretense, I knew this already. 

When I was a boy scout I snuck out and got myself spidered and mosquitoed and red and blue from all sorts of things to get to the nameless, fishless stream. I put my hand in its running. I also had my experiences. They were soundtracked and cinematic. I became interesting when I learned the roaring dark could make itself quiet and you empty. I could be interesting, I was told, and it turned out to be right and I turned out to love it more than I had ever loved anyone and anything. The boys love it too, those cowering, uncanny boys, and yeah I knew this, of myself and them. Nothing is ever a surprise to me.
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
images from CONTENERE the hybrid novella are now up on pinterest. are people still using pinterest? i think yes? anyway, thank you. @coldcastle.bsky.social & i want you to Experience our thing. altered alice wood engravings + original photography & prints & art! pin.it/7qsunEwzK
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
was he on the autism spectrum?

he was certainly not on the normal spectrum, (fitzgerald, 2018)
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
will toledo & bonehead mayhaps….? & bedroom layout + i also wanna talk about angels in america & uhhh truth coming out of her well in more depth… re: angels this was kigudolly dreamconvo inspo To Me “this is my dream you don’t own this dream you don’t get to be the owner everywhere”… okay dolly…..
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
the postmortem for CONTENERE, our #dollandkigujam hybrid novella, is coming soon! in the meantime, i’ve excerpted here some reflections on pretty dollcorpse, an album that helped shape how i wrote morbidity into one of our character’s desire for life
I was also translating the French rap project Pretty Dollcorpse with my friends. It came out in October; I listened to it at a friend’s urging in November, and it quickly rose up the ranks as one of my favorite releases of last year. I can recommend it with no holds barred, but please do note that the project was realized as the contending and conversation of two artists with their respective traumatic experiences—child sexual abuse, juvenile prostitution, gender dysphoria, and homophobic bullying, to name the most prominent themes. The “doll” motif emerges to signal the breakability, breaking, and subsequent (and almost antithetical?) corpsification of an object meant to be—but is not quite—cute/pretty. Here inserting a Sianne Ngai excerpt with diction that resonates:

“... commercially manufactured dolls were made almost solely of hard materials, with easily breakable, finely painted bisque heads mounted on bodies made of wood, pewter, steel, and even “electroplated sheet metal.” Like the fully jointed, highly ornate, talking Big Beauty advertised by the American Mechanical Doll Works Company in 1895, most of these dolls were also mechanical or machinelike and easily breakable—which is to say, by contemporary standards, not particularly cute.”In that same section, Ngai discusses Francis Ponge anthropomorphizing an orange in L’Orange to conceptualize the human construction, manufacturing and imposition of cuteness in/of/onto objects—which typically involves giving them face, making them humanlike and thus cute(r) but not-human in a way that often prevents cuteness from being fully realized—as a violent and dominating gesture. For some context, here’s L’Orange’s first paragraph translated:

“Like the sponge, the orange aspires to regain face after enduring the ordeal of expression. But where the sponge always succeeds, the orange never does; for its cells have burst, its tissues are torn. While the rind alone is flabbily recovering its form, thanks to its resilience, an amber liquid has oozed out, accompanied, as we know, by sweet refreshment, sweet perfume-but also by the bitter awareness of a premature expulsion of pips as well.”

In the poem, the coercive bestowing of face—humanlikeness—is, against conventional expectation, actively disempowering and humiliating; it is an ordeal that makes the anthropomorphized orange “lose face.” It’s violent, in a way, especially because cuteness is constructed → imposed and its assignation is not consented to by the orange/ analogously lifeless object similarly unable to consent e.g. doll. “With its exaggerated passivity, there is a sense in which the cute thing is the most reified or thinglike of things, the most objectified of objects or even an “object” par excellence.” When uncanny life is bestowed onto the forcibly-made-cute thing for its makers to commodify it however they see fit, the objectification that comes with being a humanized-but-not-human object can be of greater(?) injury. 

This is where we go back to Pretty Dollcorpse, and I’m thinking of the lines “Pour cette merde, on meurt, de toute façon, on était déjà morts/ Déjà morts bien avant l'heure” and “Ça m'enrichit quand tous ces gueux s'la touchent en m'guettant nécroser” in particular. Translation: “For this shit, we die, anyway, we were already dead/ Dead way before the hour came” + “It gets me filthy rich when those beggars jack off to my necrosis.” Children have restricted—if not a complete lack of—exercisable autonomy; for some in abusive environments or on walks of life structurally consigned to disposability, this is akin to a lack of life, something-like-death. Then when you have your sense of barely-self and what little you can exercise of that childhood autonomy trampled all over by something so personally violating like sexual abuse and the forcible commodification of your body, it can be a “death” that keeps you dying over and over again, reinforcing that not-life-ness of oppressive childhood over and over. As a kid, you’re denied autonomy and personhood in a way that renders you property of the Family—property of adults—an object; then broken, with breakability perceived of you, you become a doll, imbued with commodified purpose you didn’t ask for, and becoming-doll is becoming-dead again, just more(?) injuriously in a way, a slow, necrotizing process. You’re forced to live out your commercial purpose and monetary value, and purchasedness and/or purchasability defines your entire not-life not-death unending process of dying. (Woah sounds like a certain someone talking about boughtness! Consult Contenere Pg13.)

So that’s the type of doll-ness I was working with in the other project. I think the thematic core of Pretty Dollcorpse bled into Dolly’s preoccupation with wanting life/ being forced (though by whom? just State of Things gestured vaguely at?) to live a not-life/ wanting the viscerality of death, which would’ve meant she at least did live, fully, for a while—something richer than the boxed-up not-life she experiences with/in a body she dispossesses. Dolly starts off incredibly bitter, you know. She’s ridiculous, and the things she thinks up are ridiculous, so instances like her being jealous of the teddy bear for “getting to” get vomit particles on him end up being almost funny. (frenchie note: i laughed at that part, along with the stupid fucker namecalling because girl… girl how do you know that… so um, it is funny… to me.) But I sometimes reread the first dollysection and feel sad for her—there’s a sense of having been wronged that she keeps lashing against and trying to win over, even to the end, in her dejected “ha” interjections and the quietness—not passivity—with which she receives and reacts to everything, that “I have been wronged all (not-)life long, and now weird things that don’t necessarily leave me feeling wronged are happening, but I’m used to (what I think is) the worst, so whatever happens happens” undercurrent of her every thought and in how she strings them into language.
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
crossposting ∵ everyone needs to see/ i think this thing is awesome. MLC burmese dictionary, 2nd ed. from ’08; packing now & trying to make room for it... archaisms + technical/ otherwise obscure terminology all illustrated/ diagrammed. some examples+ more details in alt text ^_^
the dove page! 6 different types of doves identified & illustrated- though unsure what their english names are? any bird fans willing to weigh in? ချိုး = dove (definition: “bird that coos & is in the same family as pigeons”); the subtypes: ချိုးစိမ်း ၊ ချိုးနီတို ၊ ချိုးပိန်တူး ၊ ချိုးလင်းပြာ ၊ ချိုးလည်ပြောက် ၊ ချိုးသိမ်းplayer positions named & diagrammed for ထုပ်ဆီးတိုး/ essentially burmese hopscotch? i think? sad to say i’ve never played it & still don’t fully understand even with the very nice schematics. here’s a video: https://youtu.be/sPLsITNPoOc?si=R0Uk0kxRoMOI8bC1parts of a rampart labelled. side note: big fan of သူရဲ/warrior’s loose homonymy with သရဲ/ghost in this context. the chemin de ronde becomes “(space for) warrior (to) run” homonymous with “(space for) ghost (to) run”; the embrasures of the parapet become “(space for) warrior/ghost (to) stealth”parts of a carriage labelled !!! so many !! 28! i don’t know any of the words. i haven’t ever heard or even read them used. the illustration you see on the page before is of a boat; carriage & boat are both လ-words
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t.r. @thoushallkill.bsky.social · 17/12/2025
new flash in @smokelong.bsky.social! boys! burgers!
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