iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 18/04/2025

Everyone wanted proof of life - well, as you can see, Abrego Garcia (a bad hombre, really really bad) is doing great.

White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 23/03/2025

I have just ordered military strikes against the Internet Archive. These are some really bad hombres who are exposing our country's TOP secrets to our enemies. They COPY our government websites and store that information for ANYONE to freely download. THIS IS A CRIME! NO MORE!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 21/03/2025

PEOPLE KEEP MESSING WITH A GREAT AMERICAN COMPANY AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. AS OF TODAY, I HAVE LIMITED IMAGE POSTING ON THE INTERNET. SOMETHING THAT HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE BUT NEEDED BECAUSE SOME OF YOU WONT LISTEN. KEEP IT UP AND I WILL SHUT IT ALL DOWN.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 20/03/2025

It has come to my attention that there are violent left-wing egg throwing contests happening across the country. This will NOT stand! When we catch those of you destroying the precious eggs by pretending to accidentally drop them on the ground, YOU will be prosecuted to the MAX OF THE LAW!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 15/03/2025

We have big plans for the new American Canal. I had a couple of artists work up how it's going to look. It's going to be great! Between this and the Gaza Riviera, America will now own the premier vacation spots in the world. This is what winning looks like.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 15/03/2025

I am announcing the new and improved AMERICAN CANAL. It should have been named this from the start, since everything going thru there is going to AMERICA! It is always warm there, like year round Summer! We're going to have tourists floating the Canal. It will be more romantic than Venice!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 14/03/2025

Chuck knows how to win... Just waiting for them to bring the CR to my desk to sign it into LAW! SO MUCH WINNING!! It almost hurts.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 14/03/2025

Chuck Schumer and I haven't always voted together on many things, but tonight, that changed. Chuck and I have a long history together and we've shared some fun times, but business is business Chuck. I'm glad you finally saw things my way.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 13/03/2025

Bobby took a vicious shot from Pete Hegseth in Dodge Ball. It was all good and they both laughed and then Hegseth took another shot.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 13/03/2025

Robby is really enjoying the virus party at the White House!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 12/03/2025

Ol' Plastered Pete is on the case finally 🙄 It's such a shame to see though. Can't believe the Democrats would fall so low, so so low...

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 08/03/2025

Celebrating Women's Day at the golf club today. They have the best burgers there! I wish all the women out there a very happy day, especially the hot ones.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 07/03/2025

There will be plenty of eggs for everybody. There will be so many eggs. Many people like to color eggs. I like to just keep em all white.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 06/03/2025

I have sent RFK back to help find the remaining participants that got lost at my rally in Coachella back in October. I wanted to make sure that we don't leave anyone behind.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 05/03/2025

Such a touching moment shared by my favorite running back: the Juice!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 05/03/2025

Some of my fans got to the State of the Union hours early, just to get the best seats. We have the best people ♥️ Maga!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 05/03/2025

Elon wants me to go smoke a joint with him on Joe Rogain's show. What do you think, should I do it?

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 05/03/2025

I just completed the longest State of the Union speech in US History. Nobody has even come close. I just kept going and then I dropped the bomb... Called Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas to her face... she sat and clapped ha!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 05/03/2025

Rep Al Green won't be shown any mercy as an angry and violent protester. Maybe some time in Guantanamo will turn him around?

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 05/03/2025

It's NOT A State of the Union (this is Biden's mess anyways) I will be "Addressing Congress" - NOT a SOTU OKAY?! Stupid fake news can't get it right

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 05/03/2025

If Canada thinks they can push the United States of America around and try to extortion us like they did today, they are going to be sorry, very very sorry. The most sorry of any country in the world. Why not just become our 51st State instead? I promise that I will build a Trump tower there ok?

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 04/03/2025

I don't know why I would ever need one, but they tell me that I have to choose my Designated Survivor before tonight's rally. So let's go ahead and make this official.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 04/03/2025

DOGE has implemented another first for America. Too many parents have to choose between their kids and their jobs. Now, we're going to bring the childcare to the office. Workers will be double efficient and be able to work longer hours, because they won't have to worry about picking up the kids.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 04/03/2025

Who loves your President?! Gas is going to be so cheap!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 04/03/2025

Our relationship with China has never been stronger. They realize that we are a superpower and not to be messed with. When they are giving you gifts, you must be doing something right!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 03/03/2025

Social Security would be better off if it was liquidated and put into something white hot like Bitcoin. If we did that, we could all expect big checks - big! The deficit would be gone, because your President is a crypto genius.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 03/03/2025

Kyle is going to assist Kristi in locking down our borders. He's really good at being in places where he's not wanted. and so many people just love this kid, and he's very eager, so he will do a great job.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 02/03/2025

I just signed an executive order making English the official language and White the official color of the United States of America. Promises made, promises kept.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 02/03/2025

It's time to talk about taking over Norway, then we'll see what they think about paying for fuel. Norway has no cards on this... they are in a very bad place. Nobody is going to tell us how to feel or where to get our fuel. Without us, good luck selling your fuel!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 25/02/2025

Tim Apple just decided to get on the Trump Train and bring 500 BILLION dollars into the US, because he knows that I will tariff his ass in Mexico and China if he doesn't.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 23/02/2025

The truth is, we all started as women and we all have the scars to prove it. But some of us evolved further, into Men. That is natural selection at work.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 20/02/2025

I really hate Dominos. My boy knows whats up. We should hang soon... bring pizza

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 20/02/2025

This is why I am "pushing things" to get them done faster on the new Air Force One. After Biden, we received a very bad plane, just like the rest of the aviation industry by the way. I want to fly in my plane, but they tell me that I can't because it doesn't have electric laser protections.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 18/02/2025

NYC Mayor Eric Adams is a good guy, NYC should give him a chance, like I have.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 17/02/2025

We need to find out what is going on? That Fox guy I hired was good on TV, but...

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 14/02/2025

All Federal employees will NO longer be drug tested. If we can't trust our leaders, who can we trust? Instead of drug testing (and to stop those awful leakers!) we are going to be implementing a Severance program for all Federal workers. Especially those in positions that can make me look bad.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 14/02/2025

LOL LOL LOL I ended up getting every SINGLE ONE of my cabinet picks. Take that Obama!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 12/02/2025

Congrats this morning to Tulsi Gabbard for running the gauntlet. Good Job! Now, if you could go get me a coke, that would be great.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 11/02/2025

Red White and Blue Land is coming soon!

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 08/02/2025

Would you guys rather have me do a rally at Halftime instead of the super woke show they have planned? I'd say make your voice heard in the poll below, but since this is a 3rd world app, you can't do that. Complain to those nasty women that own this place.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 08/02/2025

Everybody keeps asking me which team I will be rooting for at the big Kick Off. I just want everyone to know that I am rooting for Team America as usual.

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White House Blog [parody] @thewhitehouse.blog · 05/02/2025

They call this the Western Wall. It's loved by almost as many people as me. Since Western is pretty much America, we should rename this, don't you think?

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