RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER – Hi everybody!  It's your favorite oniony friend! I hope you’re ready to see me at Gulf Wars!  The Newsroom has graciously created a version of an ID to help you with your authorizations, featuring the best allium around: me! Print off this SCAllion identification card to help you get through any inspections, checkpoints, or any other barrier that might be set up at any SCA war.

RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER – Less than two weeks away from Gulf Wars, Deep Gorget has provided the SCAllion with a preview of the planned Gulf Wars Site Token for this year. After scouring the whole of the Society artisans to create a meaningful souvenir, the Gulf War Committee, in light of several decisions, has opted to work with a company more familiar to bureaucrats and paper shufflers alike: their local office supply store.

RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER – In the wake of recent announcements concerning ID requirements, several merchants are scrambling to take advantage of a potential new revenue stream: providing photo IDs to Gulf Wars attendees. Attendees may wish to note that the following merchants (so far) have reconfigured their offerings: “The Book B-ID-dies” will be bringing a Gutenberg Press that has been pre-configured to stamp customizable photo IDs.

RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER – The Society Earl Marshal has announced further updates to inspection point, to better facilitate the new procedures reported elsewhere. Gentles wishing to find inspection point should be advised that the point will be located near the collection of dark SUVs with blacked-out windows. Inspecting marshals will be issued new garb requirements of scarlet red robes and capelets, with matching hats. Kingdom Officials speaking on condition of anonymity said that “no one expected” this change. *Public Satire Announcement

RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER – In a further update to the inspection conventions at Gulf Wars, the Society Earl Marshal has announced the implementation of “SCA Pre-Check,” which will allow fighters in any discipline to “pre-inspect,” in order to make the inspection process faster. Fighters wishing to enroll in SCA-PRE will simply need to bring themselves, in kit, along with a photo ID, 23-and-Me DNA test results, fingerprints, authorization card, proof of membership, site token, five years of social media history, shoe size, dental records, mothers’ birth name (and evidence of any name changes, including notarized marriage certificate), social security card, and tent dimensions (including ropes) to inspection point on the first day of war.

RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER – In the spirit of transparency, we here at The SCAllion are publishing the full text of our application letter to become the next Society Communications Officer, and the response we received. Names and email addresses have been redacted for privacy. *** FROM:   ████████████████████████████ TO: ████████████████████████████ DATE: 17 February, 2026 1936 GMT To the Board of Directors, Society Seneschal, and Society Communications Officer, greetings.

KINGDOM OF OBLIVIA , SHIRE OF OSTRICH REACH* – The Shire of Ostrich Reach is facing dissolution after the entire officer corps ghosted the rest of the Society for Creative Anachronism in the aftermath of a messy and messed-up bake sale.   The shire had organized a bake sale to help fund their annual ‘Head in the Sand’ beach event, and all seemed to be going well until one of the members showed up with their contribution: fylfot shaped wafers they called Schutz-waffles. 

Last year for the holidays, we posted this letter that had come through our Letters to the Editor box. Given that it is again that time of year again, we thought it in good taste to remind our Knowne World that yes, indeed, there are good peers around. To our readers, thank you for another year, and thank you for trying to make the Society the place we feel it should all be: a place of whimsy, of fun, of recognizing our friends, and remembering that the values we espouse of chivalry, of respect, and of true courtesy are the values that we should hold dear.

SHIRE OF EASTERN SHORE, KINGDOM OF NEWLAND* - Attendees at Eastern Shore’s Yule event last weekend bore witness to the timely death of Lord Alton Stadtler, long a stalwart member of the group’s “feedback council”. Alton, 64, was holding forth on the largess competition entries, and that he didn’t see why the “Double Breasted Throne Percher” was going to judge the competition, and that the prize was just ‘“wordfame”, when Their Majesties approached the table.

BARONY OF AYRETON, KINGDOM OF THE MIDDLE – As we are entirely too well aware, sometimes writing satire is all the harder because reality is more ridiculous than our creative writers room finds plausible for our style of ridiculous sideways looks at the world. Unfortunately, due to the American news cycle having more rotations than a laundromat washer-dryer, the satire blog…

SHIRE OF NETHER STABBINGTON, NORTH BY NORTHEAST KINGDOM* – Bookies across the Society for Creative Anachronism are reportedly biting their nails today, as the first reign to be selected by something other than rattan combat stretches into its third day. At the time this story went to print, there were only a few hours before the end of the day, and it’s less and less likely that the Society will collapse before dinner on the East Coast.

BARONY OF RECURSIVA, KINGDOM OF OBLIVIA* – In a move which has polarized the kingdom, a member of a local barony (renamed “Dave” to protect privacy) has been sanctioned by the Crown for social media posts in which "Dave" said that they approved of a Revocation of Membership and Denial of Benefits which had recently been implemented by the Board of Directors…

SHIRE OF ADAVALE, KINGDOM OF EATENFIELD* – The Crown and Seneschallate of Eatenfield are considering their options after the recent discovery that the Shire of Adavale has only one physical member, the Arts and Sciences Minister, Alex Sirisson (known in the Society as Lady Martina the Clueless), with the remaining membership made up entirely of LLM ChatBots. The Kingdom Seneschal, Baron Gaviston the Credulous, told…

SHIRE KNOWN AS “OF COURSE IT IS”, KINGDOM OF DOES IT EVEN MATTER? - Our editors were horrified, appalled, and not at all shocked to receive reports that a sitting royal had, yet again, sexually harassed women and gender minorities. Reporters were quickly dispatched to track down the story.  “Oh yes, that was a terrible situation, what, five years ago? I can tell you all about it,” responded Baroness Adalgarda of Tarascon immediately.

Paint me like one of your French leeks. RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER - We here at the SCAllion want to see what you’ve been up to this summer yet again.  If you’ve taken a photo with our very own Allie Umberto, let us know by uploading your photo here and you could see Allie (and yourself) on your very own vacation!

SHIRE OF OTTERLEIGH, KINGDOM OF SYUNIK* – What do you get the peer who literally has everything?  Another peerage!  On the docket for discussion as offered by Their Majesties of Syunik, is an award for the most peer-like, the very paragon of qualities, the highest of the qualities - the Acme! Our reporters visited the very first Peeriest Peer, Columbia de domo Baruchiya, at a special court held by Their Majesties at her hospital bedside where Columbia was receiving IV fluids after having collapsed from exhaustion while tearing down the last few pavilions at an event that everyone else had already left due to extreme heat and weather conditions.

A LAPTOP SET UP IN A SERVER STORAGE UNIT, SOMEWHERE IN THE STATES - Viscount Reimonde Guillaume de Gybsonne, KSCA has reached out to the Board of Directors of the Society for Creative Anachronism, asking for a variance allowing him to fight in Crown List for his personal artificial intelligence-based virtual companion, Idora Pandora. The question of whether a consort must be human has not been addressed since 1978, when a duke drunkenly suggested fighting for his pet terrier.

A LAPTOP SET UP IN A SERVER STORAGE UNIT, SOMEWHERE IN THE STATES - Viscount Reimonde Guillaume de Gybsonne, KSCA has reached out to the Board of Directors of the Society for Creative Anachronism, asking for a variance allowing him to fight in Crown List for his personal artificial intelligence-based virtual companion, Idora Pandora. The question of whether a consort must be human has not been addressed since 1978, when a duke drunkenly suggested fighting for his pet terrier.

A WAFFLE HOUSE, SOMEWHERE – The SCAllion was alerted to the possibility of certain leaked documents relating to the most recent peerage authorized by the Board. A retrieval team was sent to a cardboard box near the dumpster behind a certain Waffle House, where we found draft text integrating the new peerage into existing ceremonies. Our reporters noted that many of the ceremonies that had been written also indicated that these documents would be mandatory in whole for each kingdom, in the exact wording without inter-kingdom anthropology guiding the Board's decision.

ACROSS THE KNOWNE WORLD – As numerous Society for Creative Anachronism groups ramp up social media posts for Pride, numerous still were complaints from medieval enthusiasts hoping to find a group that would accommodate their rather medieval ways of thinking.  “I thought free speech was period!” grumbled Brighthelm of York, after being roundly lambasted for mocking a Pride post on the Society’s Facebook page Sunday, the first day of Pride Month.

ACROSS THE KNOWNE WORLD – As numerous Society for Creative Anachronism groups ramp up social media posts for Pride, numerous still were complaints from medieval enthusiasts hoping to find a group that would accommodate their rather medieval ways of thinking.  “I thought free speech was period!” grumbled Brighthelm of York, after being roundly lambasted for mocking a Pride post on the Society’s Facebook page Sunday, the first day of Pride Month.

BARONY OF OAKGHYLL, KINGDOM OF OSRIA* – Honorable Lord Ralph Holes was feeling pretty proud of himself. Found among the redactions of the latest feast cook for a small baronial event and then published to Tournaments Illustrated was an open missive to all cooks, dayboard preparers, snackers from tables of decadence, vigil chefs, and the like, was a note stating how all prepared meals in the Society should be done.

SHIRE OF GLEN LINN, EAST KINGDOM — We know some of you have been waiting to see our take on the East's Crown Tournament, and we need to just be up front and transparent that we’ve reviewed the footage and firsthand reports from Allie Umberto on the scene and couldn’t find anything to satirize, to the point where our staff has spent the last few days poring over the livestream looking for literally…

BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, PRINCIPALITY OF CORPORA-PORA, KINGDOM OF BODLANDIA –  Over the weekend, Their Majesties Juglindore*, James and Isabelle, stated their intention to consult a standing member of their peerage for advice about the new peerage order. In a never-before-seen turn of events, the Society Board of Directors has completed its investigation into this seeming non-action long before The SCAllion…

A few days ago, we put out our Ask the Editorial Team Anything post as a way to connect with you, our readers, and we were blown away at how many responses we received in such a short time. Due to this overwhelming response, we’re putting out some of our AMA answers early!  You absolutely still have time to put out your burning questions…

BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, PRINCIPALITY OF CORPORA-PORA, KINGDOM OF BODLANDIA – With the addition of the newest Peerage of the Society for Creative Anachronism, the Board of Directors has released an official dress code in order to preserve the visibility of the peerages and other “important” people for the little people in back. The following items are prohibited. White accessories of any kind …

Hi SCAdians -- The SCAllion Editorial Team here. You also know us from our satire blog. You know us as the purveyors of silliness, good advice, and generally all-around good-natured shenanigans. The purpose of all of this is to connect with you and for you to ask questions that you might have of us and our team. You can be as serious or as silly as you'd like.

BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, PRINCIPALITY OF CORPORA-PORA, KINGDOM OF BODLANDIA – Fresh off his record-shattering Senate floor speech taking on the cruel and incoherent policies of the current presidential "administration", New Jersey Senator Cory Booker has declared his intention to repeat his performance before the only deliberative body more dysfunctional than the United States Congress – namely, the Society for Creative Anachronism's Board of Directors.

BETWEEN THE DIGITAL DIVIDE, KINGDOM OF RAMSBYTE* – In a shocking development, Pseudonymous Bosch, the Editor-in-Chief of The SCAllion has come forward with a bombshell statement regarding the authorship of several articles of the satire blog. Today, The SCAllion has been long accused of being too on the nose and too accurate to be funny.  In addition, we have had constant accusations that the workload is simply too high for a single person to write, publish, research, and proofread. 

RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER – The SCAllion Board of Directors is pleased to announce the inaugural “Black Faux” awards, to be given for exceptional reportage, satirical commentary, and cheap jokes.  As this is the inaugural slate, there are only three categories:  Best Satirical Publication, Most Exceptional Reportage, Cheapest Joke.  The winners in each category are:Best Satirical Publication:  …

The Knowne World found out shortly before 3 p.m. Eastern time on March 19th that the Board had come to a decision about whom the Board was planning to blame - and consequently revoke and deny membership to the Society - for the whole of the Ranged Peerage debacle. I knew two weeks before the first emails were sent that the R&Ds were coming.

BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, PRINCIPALITY OF CORPORA-PORA, KINGDOM OF BODLANDIA – The Board of Directors’ actions in the last few months have raised eyebrows across the Unknowne World, with their recent reorganization being the most striking example. The announcement made just last week that the Board would reduce its size to just five members was met with shock, which only increased when the specific Board positions were announced.

THE SMOLDERING RUINS OF THE SHIRE OF THE GREEN RIVER* - The year is AS LXXV. It’s been ten years since the kingdoms ignored the wise words of the Board of Directors and began knighting non-rattan combatants. If only we’d known what kind of chaos the Board was trying to save us from. If only we’d listened.  Our correspondents interviewed local populace member Ysenda Macgoulchane after reciting an elaborate series of call-and-response phrases to confirm we were not a roving band of marauders attempting to trick our way into her shelter to steal her art supplies.

We know you've missed us (we've seen the fan art and shoutouts to us in the last few weeks since the Board's . . . uh. Missteps), and while we're having fun covering everything, we're still pretty crispy. As in, a certain Southern colonel is considering adding us to his latest Kentucky-fried abomination crispy. So, we're going to post whenever we feel like it.

MEDIEVAL TOLERANCE SOCIETY, KINGDOM OF BEYOND-THE-PALE, – The Medieval Tolerance Society, a group which claims to be unrelated to the Society for Medieval Tolerance which was recently purchased by The SCAllion, has announced both its formation and its initial policies. King Arderic Albinus (known in the SMT as “Duke Arderic Albinus”) made the announcement. “While we are most emphatically not the SMT,” he said winking broadly, “we have adopted their rules and bylaws completely.

RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER – Hot off our data gremlin's mid-1990s Packard Bell desktop, we have the results of our unofficial poll regarding the ranged peerage. We do want to thank everyone who took part in not only our poll, but the Board's poll, because we feel that by you taking time out of your day to speak up for the ranged community, and the work of all those involved, you also are part of the process of improving the Society for all of us.

SHIRE OF BERRYHILLOCKS, KINGDOM OF JUGLINDORE – A recent attempt at polling about the new martial peerage yielded surprising results - not only do the Laurels and Pelicans support the creation of yet another martial peerage with more surely to come, but they would like to follow in the footsteps of their combat-oriented siblings and split their own orders into five different peerages each.

BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, PRINCIPALITY OF CORPORA-PORA, KINGDOM OF BODLANDIA — During a particularly difficult and hotly debated recent conference call, the President of the Board of Directors of the Society for Creative Anachronism stood up and angrily declared “WE ARE THE SCA!!” According to a leeked recording of the Zoom call, Society Board President Sanserius de Fora Bartboc suddenly rose from his chair, slammed his closed fist on his desk, and shouted at the various Society Officers attending by invitation: “WE ARE THE SCA!!

This is your last chance to vote in our poll so we can do some number crunchies and munchies on our end with our datamancer goblins.  Vote, though, not only in our poll, but also in the Board’s poll to ensure that the support for the Ranged Peerage is seen.  Both our poll and the Board’s poll close at…

GULF WARS, KING'S ARROW RANCH – The following announcements have been shared with the Knowne World  in advance of Gulf Wars 2025. Please read them prior to arriving on site for the war to ensure a seamless War Experience. The rules for parking have completely changed. They’re more convenient, but only if you read the fine print before you registered for the event and included with registration   the assorted requirements, such as assigned vehicle number, license plate number and state of residence, kingdom of residence, local group, group camping with, blood type, authorization card number, date of your peerage elevation (if relevant for preferred parking), dog’s name (no non-service dogs on site, please, unless they’re coursing hounds, or look like coursing hounds, or that one weird Rose’s cats), mother’s name, favorite flavor of ice cream, and shoe size.

BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, PRINCIPALITY OF CORPORA-PORA, KINGDOM OF BODLANDIA – As the fury rages on regarding the Ranged Peerage, the Board of Directors has continued to receive dozens, if not hundreds of email missives from upset members, all funneled through a singular address maintained by Judy “Cha-cha” di Gregarious, executive assistant to the Board and Associate Vice-President for Publishing, Advertising, and Heraldry.

In an effort to better understand the Board’s wisdom in their direction on the Ranged Peerage Update, our inside mole at the Board of Directors, Deep Gorget, obtained one of the original working drafts of the Joint Statement issued yesterday.  The SCAllion, a noted satire blog, is publishing this draft so the populace of the Society can truly understand the dizzying intellect and wisdom that we place our trust in as the true self-appointed leaders of our Modern Medieval Ages.

In honor of the Board of Directors' joint statement regarding the Ranged Peerage, we here at The SCAllion would like to repost an article we presented in September of last year regarding those roadblocks. We also are happy to point out that while the Society-sponsored poll regarding this peerage will not include Esperance as an option, ours will, and we will be releasing data, analysis, and more at the conclusion of the polling period.

Hey, Leekheads! The SCAllion here. Unlike the Board of Directors and their black hole of communication, we're happy to provide updates on the currently running ranged martial peerage polling. At time of writing, we've had 1,140 respondents! We don't want to affect the responses of the poll, so we won't give you any of the numbers until they close. However, we thought you might be interested in some of the comments we've received.

The closest thing to a public face for The SCAllion is our intrepid in-house counsel, Jaws.  We asked Jaws to answer some of your most pressing current questions. Q: What made The SCAllion choose to come out of retirement this week? A: The Board of Director’s handling – or rather, mishandling – of the polling for the name and badge of the Ranged Weapons Peerage was too much to resist.

The Board of Directors of the Society for Creative Anachronism has decided that they're going to ignore some very convenient and well done work done by the College of Arms and completely leave off choices in their own polls regarding the archery peerage in an effort to put their thumb on the scales.  In that sense, we here at the SCAllion…

SHIRE OF EVENRISE, KINGDOM OF THE SOUTH* - As rage among the ranged weapons and heraldic communities rises, The SCAllion has once again obtained inside information about what the latest developments with the Ranged Peerage Proposal from its top secret informant, Deep Gorget.  After making plans to meet at 3 a.m. at a Waffle House on a remote stretch of highway, this reporter had the opportunity to speak with Deep Gorget at length. 

BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, PRINCIPALITY OF CORPORA-PORA, KINGDOM OF BODLANDIA – In a twist move no one saw coming, the newest peerage for the Society for Creative Anachronism lay at the bottom of a Greek pyxis, never to see the light of day. The reason? “Well, you see, heraldry is an esoteric and difficult discipline,” says Flavia Prima, administrative support for the Board of Directors.

A serious post from us here at The SCAllion. We are still on an indefinite break, but this was too important to not share, especially in light of y'know, everything. Please share this far and wide. You are not alone. In this age, we are all empowered to be witnesses and storytellers. If we here at The SCAllion…

As we announced in So Long and Thanks for All the Alliums, we noted that we'll be reposting our top ten most talked about articles over our past nearly two years over the next few weeks. SHIRE OF SKORRAGARDR, ANSTEORRA – A new Society for Creative Anachronism splinter group, calling itself the “Society for Medieval Tolerance” or SMT called a press conference today to announce its formation and its new policies.