iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 9h

They should have a haunted house called “Sunday Night” and it’s just the consequences of my procrastination habits coming back to haunt me all night long.

030

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Hey, if plague can make a comeback after all these years so can you!

131

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I love how NyQuill is like you’ve suffered enough here’s a little coma as a treat.

170

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Spooky Season hits a little differently when every day is a terrifying nightmare.

090

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The only health care plan I can afford is gingerale, saltines, and old episodes of Love Connection

1100

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

At least you'll never be as useless as the "n" in Autumn.

250

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Now they want to rename Artificitial Intelligence “Super Intelligence.” Reminds me of back when they changed “STD” to “STI.” We all still knew we didn’t want it!

180

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The Wi-Fi has been out since Saturday and I’ve been laughing how it feels like I’m on the Oregon Trail. But it’s not so funny now that I have scarlet fever and a bear ate my dad.

290

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Back in the day we didn’t have Ozempic. We had the grapefruit diet, which was grapefruit, black coffee, and unlimited cigarettes. It sounds crazy, but you have to remember, passing out burns calories.

090

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I’ve been without Wi-Fi for 7.5 hours. I know I said I wanted to go back to the ’90s, but this is ridiculous.

280

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Me on May the 4th: How idiotic. Me on 9-2-5:

Me and my dog dressed as Dolly Parton and Willie Nelson in handmade Halloween costumes (No AI)

181

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had crippling anxiety & self sabotaging procrastination habits?

160

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

me: insomnia doesn’t really affect me. also me: spent all morning Googling rare skin diseases, completely forgetting I painted yesterday.

160

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

If I were interrogating a suspect, I'd start crying and be like, "Sorry, I'm so bad at this LOL," and the criminal would be like, “No, you're not. I DID do it."

260

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

“Chicken tenders, more like chicken toughs, am I right?” — My last words as I die from Salmonella

071

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

“Chicken tenders, more like chicken toughs, am I right?” — My last words as I die from Salmonella

040

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I’ve had my phone for so long, we’re starting to resemble each other. We both barely work, are bad at making calls, and mainly exist at 1%.

0152

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

It’s the first day of Fall and I still haven’t had a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I’ve let down the basic bitch community and for that I am truly sorry.

030

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Be the reason someone locks their doors when you walk by them in the parking lot.

130

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Tonight I made a roast, baked an apple pie, and learned to crochet. I’m my own damn trad wife

170

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Someone said I’m too codependent with my dog. I said, “I don’t think so. Buzz, what do you think?”

340

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Hot Girl Summer is over. It’s Mitch McConnell Fall. We’re zoned out, nonverbal, and lovin’ it ✌️

1110

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

My mom never put the “my child is an honor student” bumper sticker on her car because she said it was tacky, but I think it’s really because she was afraid people would mistakenly assume she gave birth to a friggin nerd.

292

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I love being out in the country and hearing crickets. It reminds me of saying “I love you” to my dad.

180

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Guys have the one who got away. Girls have the one they’re glad they got away from.

150

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I’m all for getting into the Halloween spirit, but a zombie in the Senate seems a little excessive.

0111

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

It’s time for a companion song to “Easy Like Sunday Morning.” How about “Sweating, Crying, Panicking Like Sunday Night?”

160

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Forget Botox, my secret to anti-aging is Not Wearing Glasses™. With Not Wearing Glasses™, fine lines and wrinkles disappear immediately. With Not Wearing Glasses™, because if you can’t see it, it’s not there.

070

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

We’re about 3 months from renaming explosive diarrhea “Patriot Syndrome.”

071

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Teens today can’t write a single sentence without AI. Meanwhile, in the 90s, me and the girls were writing epic 5-page manifestos and folding them into origami before the algebra teacher could turn around.

030

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

My insomnia is so bad, like damn, even vampires get to have their little coffin naps.

040

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I’m a “take 400 pictures of the exact same sunrise” kind of girl.

350

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I want to make a joke about Labor Day, but it’s TOO MUCH WORK!!!

171

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I’ve been listening to rap songs from my glory days and it’s so funny how outdated some of them are now. Like remember having only 99 problems?

5291

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Okay, but why does the belligerent guy duct taped to his American Airlines seat look more comfortable then I’ve ever been on a flight in my entire life?

340

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

I love the beginning of a three-day weekend when there’s still hope you’re going to be productive.

020

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Gloria Steinem didn't just inspire me to fight for women’s rights. She made it possible for me, a single woman, to max out 4 credit cards without the help of a man.

1113

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Sorry, but you should be able to claim your dog on your taxes. I haven’t gone to the bathroom alone in 12 years, if he’s not a dependent I don’t know what is.

050

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

The first day of Fall isn’t until September 22nd, so you can technically still use, “it’s summer” as an excuse for being sweaty and unproductive.

150

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

MapQuest is making a comeback. Damn I wish my 1999 Pontiac Grand Am was alive to see this.

090

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Watching true crime really has me thinking everything’s a red flag. He breathes? Dump him, girl.

051

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

You know you’re gettin’ old when your kneees need 3-5 business days to recover from dancing to SHOUT at a wedding.

0111

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Just saying, if you don’t bring a plus one to someone’s wedding you should be allowed to eat two dinners.

3412

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

I lost my glasses and I don’t even care. I’ve seen enough.

080

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Everything’s chaos, I’m awake all night, and all I wanna do is eat garbage. I had some tests run and it turns out there’s actually a really simple explanation. I’m 98% raccoon.

230

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Yeah, I'm gonna need to speak to the Grim Reaper's manager, because his recent work is frankly unacceptable.

051

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

I don’t know exactly how I’m gonna die, but I have a feeling the phrase “prank gone wrong” will feature heavily.

161

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

So we’re just taking, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse” literally now?

030

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

I don’t know what’s worse, losing your phone for an entire day or finally finding it and having no new messages.

170

Missy Baker @themissybaker.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Self-discipline doesn’t work for me because I don’t respect the person setting the boundaries. I’ll make a rule for myself, then immediately be like, “Nah, don’t listen to that loser.”

040