Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 28/01/2025They’re gonna have to build a MAGA wing in hell 👹 020
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 02/01/2025I can’t do work today because my Mom gave me 8 bags of caramel corn for Christmas 040
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 02/01/2025Anyone else unable to throw away their Pandemic masks?? It has a weird sentimental value and was my best friend for 2 years. 030
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 25/12/2024By the power of Beyoncé I decree that Christmas Halftime Shows are now a thing forever and ever, amen. 040
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 25/12/2024Netflix got Mariah for pre-game, Beyoncé for halftime, and the ghost of Whitney Houston for after the gamemedia.tenor.coma close up of a woman 's face with a microphone in the background .ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with a microphone in the background . 030
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 24/12/2024A TSA agent asked me where I got my pants and I plead the fifth 040
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 23/12/2024Callback today then I’m officially on vacation! Send me holiday mojo! 040
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 19/12/2024I have one question after watching that trailer. Who picks up Krypto's shit when Superman isn't around? 000
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 19/12/2024There are so many dogs with capes in their future 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 18/12/2024If the Superman trailer and the Matt Gaetz House Ethics Report come out out the same time I’ll have a decision to makemedia.tenor.coma woman in a police uniform is talking to another woman and says " what do i do what do i do ? "ALT: a woman in a police uniform is talking to another woman and says " what do i do what do i do ? " 030
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 18/12/2024When I was a kid watching sports on TV I would stand up and take my hat off during the national anthem. Now I fast forward through that shit. 000
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 17/12/2024“Last Christmas” is the best Christmas song that you can play at a time like this 020
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 12/12/2024You can’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk but it turns out you can have it removed 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 12/12/2024Holding space to tickle someone holding space 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 10/12/2024I feel like I’m being punished when I don’t hit the skip button in time on a YouTube ad and they make me watch another one 000
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 10/12/2024President Biden has a chance to do the funniest thing... 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 10/12/2024I can only think of one lawyer good enough to get Luigi acquitted... 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 09/12/2024Ryan Murphy was on the line with Dave Franco as soon as he saw pics of the CEO Assassin 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 08/12/2024The CEO assassin stopped at Starbucks and it reminded me of those photos of Lee Harvey Oswald hitting up a Chipotle on the way to the book depository 020
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 07/12/2024When I’m a billionaire I’m gonna have a ponzu fountain 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 06/12/2024Tomorrow is my birthday and all I want is to not have a headache 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 06/12/2024The Wizard is Trump and the Rebublicans. Elphaba is all minorities. Glinda is white women. Madame Morrible is minority MAGAs. And the animals are immigrants. Also, Wicked is really good and you should see it on a big screen. 000
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 04/12/2024I’ve had more coffee than usual today and I feel it but I’m good ya know I’m good but definitely definitely feel it but not like ahhh I’m feelin it!! Nahhh more like ya know just feelin stuff and I am but I’m good ya know I’m really the best I’ve ever been anyways I’m gonna go get in a street fight 130
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Thanksgiving is like a surprise birthday party where nobody cares who’s birthday it is 000
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 28/11/2024I’m almost glad to be a Thanksgiving orphan so I don’t have to listen to TED Talks about Jesus or Trump today 🦃 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 28/11/2024📸 BLACK FRIDAY SALE TOMORROW! 📸 Save hundreds of 💰on headshots, lifestyle photos, and more! Limited to 10 slots. 000
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 25/11/2024This year I’m a free agent for Thanksgiving. I’m open to invites. Here’s what I bring to the table, pun intended: - I’m Latino so if all you have is white people I’ll throw a splash of brown in there - I’ll bring an 8 pack of La Croix Tangerine - we can use my log in’s for Netflix or Amazon 130
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 21/11/2024There’s a certain charm to the end of times 000
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 21/11/2024I replaced the side mirror of my car. Had to take off the door panel and mess with some wiring. Now it works. Give me 2 or 3 YouTube videos (in English) and I’ll do heart surgery on someone. 000
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 20/11/2024If we have to live in a dystopia for the next 4 years I hope its totally cinematic looking like BladeRunner so I can take cool photos and make beautiful films 020
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 19/11/2024The only thing that might save us is that these people are f*cking idiots 150
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 18/11/2024There’s so many things I want to buy on Black Friday but I know I shouldn’t so I won’t but I probably will 110
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 18/11/2024I strained my calf playing pickleball today. This is probably what Roman gladiators felt like after a day of gladiating. I’m no hero. 110
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 13/11/2024Today is a photoshoot day and that makes me happy and not at all sad that the world is on fire. What’s making you happy today? 010
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 13/11/2024I just got here from the other place and so far I’m noticing much less election interference 000
Michael Garcia @themikegarcia.bsky.social · 12/11/2024You should get life in prison for saving a parking space with your body 020