iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 23/09/2025

I've been struggling with my grandmothers Alzheimer's diagnosis lately, she's my favorite person and I'm on the other side of the country so I can't be with her. I wrote this today thinking of her. Her favorite flower is a yellow rose.

The Long Goodbye

I told myself the last time that this would be it,
I made sure to get the photos, to spend the time, to say my goodbyes,
And then the following year, I did the same.
Counted my lucky stars that I got more time.

But it wasn’t luck, was it?
Because the following year I had to do it again,
I had to say my goodbyes again, and again, and again.
Now it feels like a waiting game.

Every day I wake up, almost anticipating getting the call.
I know it’s coming, but I don’t know when.
It could be today, tomorrow, a month from now, a year, or even a decade.
Her sister took seventeen years to finally say her goodbye,
But by that time, she didn’t remember who she was even saying goodbye to.

I don’t want to watch her fade,
I don’t want to watch the life I love disappear from her eyes,
For them to lose their magical sparkle.
But they already have, even if I’m not there to watch it.

I see her on her best days; once a year, she remembers who she is.
I bring her back to life, and for the briefest moment, she's okay.
Then she leaves when I do.

I haven’t seen what the others have seen,
Part of me hates myself for that,
The other part is glad I haven’t had to witness that.
I fear it would break me.

Part of me wishes it was already over, that she was at peace.
And I hate myself for that.
I know she never wanted this for herself,
A quick goodbye and a promise is what she would have rathered.
But we can’t always get what we want.

I miss her, and she isn’t even gone yet.
I hate long goodbyes,
Rip the band-aid off and be done with it.
But we can’t always get what we want.

By the time it’s over I’ll have mourned over and over again,
Maybe I won’t have any more tears left to cry,
Or maybe I’ll end up ripped apart in ways I didn’t know were possible.

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 24/07/2025

the couple days before a vacation is always the most stressful, I leave in 3 days and I have a million and one things to do from now until then 🙃

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Exulansis @exulansis-art.bsky.social · 24/07/2025

Today's project 🖤💀👀 Soo excited for these samples to come in!!

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

Quick & Easy 10 min Vegan Taco Recipe 🌮 Heat black beans, corn & taco seasoning in pan for 5-7 mins. Warm tortillas then fill with bean and corn mix, shredded lettuce, spicy mango salsa, and pickled jalapeño red onions. In less than 10 minutes you have fresh vegan tacos! #VeganTacos #QuickMeal

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

I just made the best tacos I think I've ever had in my entire life. I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about them for the rest of the night. Like damn, I just want to keep eating them lmfao

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Got a new job that I start training for tomorrow! Didn't think I'd ever want to go back bartending but this cute craft brewery seems like a lot of fun!

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

today I saw a little girl, no older than 7, with a lemonade stand set up in the parking lot of my building. I had no idea people still did that but it was so cute! I got 2 and tipped her and she was so happy, she was a little hustler, even had e-transfer available hahaha

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Exulansis @exulansis-art.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

Some floral drawings I did today 🌹🖤 #humanart #artist #noai #illustrations #floralart #doodles

A drawing of a flower, the two flowers in the center is red ink and the exterior leaves the ink is black. The drawing uses a mix of line work and pointillism.

A black triangle layered on top of a drawing of a flower, in the center of the triangle the flower is red ink while outside the triangle the ink is black. The drawing uses a mix of line work and pointillism.

A black line drawn down the center of a drawing of a flower, to the right of the flower is red ink while to the left, the ink is black. The drawing uses a mix of line work and pointillism.

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 27/06/2025

I need to talk about squid game season 3 (including spoilers) if you've seen it all, comment below on what you thought of it.

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

Also 89!! That's wildly impressive!!

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

Oooo is it a standalone or in a series?

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 29/04/2025

I'll go first, I'm currently on my 22nd book but it's sooo hard to pick a favorite so I'll just give you my top 3, "heavenly tyrant", "finding me", and "a short stay in hell"

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 29/04/2025

How many books have you read so far in 2025? Which one was your favorite? #booktok #books

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

Listening to finding me by Viola Davis and this quote just really resonated "the cure was courage"

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John Chen @johnchen.com.au · 28/02/2025

MILICENT PATRICK. Artist & Creator of the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

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Srutis 🔞 @srutis.bsky.social · 27/02/2025

Honest to god art is easy as piss if you have your basic necessities met

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 26/02/2025

I love having multiple books going at once! Lately, I’ve been into having a physical book, an e-book, and an audiobook, so no matter what I’m doing, I can always sneak in a little reading and escape for a bit. 😂

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Exulansis @exulansis-art.bsky.social · 25/02/2025

Sssssssnake but make it geometric lol #art #humanart #noai #snake #snakeart

A black and white snake drawing done in a pointillism black ink art style on white background. There is a lot of geometry incorporated into the piece, 2 large black triangles frame the snake with a 3rd most inner triangle, the part of the snake inside this inner triangle, the black ink is changed to red. The top and bottom triangles are black and the black ink is inverted to white and a black background.

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

I'm wondering the same, have you found any?

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 23/02/2025

On average, how many books do you read? I went through a long reading slump and didn't read much at all, like last year I think I only got through 1-2 books the entire year, but this year I've been trying to read more, already in 2024 I've gotten through 5 books and I'm on my 6th

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

Totally fair, anime isn't my thing either, avatar is the only one I've ever been able to watch and enjoy

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Cae Hawksmoor @caehawksmooredits.bsky.social · 19/02/2025

Every writer has bad days. They don’t define you: your persistence does 💪

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Zuko from ATLAB is autistic, my mind cannot be changed on this one lol

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

yeahhh also looking back at all my comfort characters from movies and tv shows, all were either autistic or had a lotttt of ND traits lol

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Honestly looking back at my writing and art from before I knew I was autistic it's like looking at a flashing neon sign saying "this one is autistic" like howww did I not see it before? lol

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Oooooo I loveee that!!! Thank you for sharing that one!

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Sameee, I literally wrote a poem titles shit the other day lmfao. Most of my writing is shit but at least I'm writing lol

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Oh I feel that, I've been listening to writing lectures on youtube and trying to make a habit of writing everyday, even if it's just a few words, just trying to get some of the noise in my brain out on paper

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

What do you like to write? I like writing fantasy and horror (I have vivid nightmares and figured I'd share them with other lol) but lately I've been dabbling around with poetry

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Exulansis @exulansis-art.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Rest is resistance, you can't fight if you're burnt out.

a black background with white lettering saying "Taking time away from being productive, is an act of rebellion"

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

soft pastels with a pop of color 💕

close up shot of my eye makeup, a light pink shimmery smokey eye with a blue cobalt eyeliner and a soft light blue shimmer in the inner corner

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

yeppp! the queer community and ND have a huge overlap!

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

I've had a couple successful collabs but even those I'm not sure I'd work with again, I think it is the AuDHD, I think I just need to start collabing more with other AuDHD creators instead of trying to make it work with NTs lol

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

If anyone's into the sims 4 I have a sims page, I've only recently started posting some of my builds, I'm also working on my own save file and CC (custom content) !

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Chasten Glezman Buttigieg @chastenbuttigieg.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

Hey. You should text/call/voice-note some friends just because. Don't just DM silly videos. Check in with them. We all need some genuine connection right now!

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

This is my art account btw, if anyone's curious

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

yeah it's really hard to collab. In theory, I love it, but in practice, it never works out the way I had thought it would which always leaves me annoyed, and simultaneously wanting more and wanting to never try it again lmfao

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Angus Johnston @angus.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

If you're trying to figure out what to do right now, my advice is to just pick a thing that you think might be useful in some way, however small, and do it. Doing a thing leads you to doing another, bigger thing, and prepares you for that next thing.

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Drop a comment about yourself. I'll go first. I'm AuDHD, an artist, writer, cat mom, music lover, piano player, language learner, & makeup artist. Queer, vegan, & deeply in love with nature and traveling. Life isn’t always easy, but I’m here, figuring it out, finding meaning, and creating anyway.

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

I guess this is a casting call of sorts, for other kindred spirits. If you're neurodivergent and value creativity, ethics, and deep conversation, let’s connect. I want to build something meaningful.

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Chaotic Creator @thechaoticcreator.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

Been struggling with a sense of community lately. I'm okay with solitude, I love my alone time and I'm selective about who I connect with, but I also cherish collaboration and being inspired. Craving community, yet content without it. Like having cake, but frosting would be a sweet addition too.

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