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The Card

@thecard.bsky.social
7.1K followers 4.6K following 18K posts

Creator of depressing comics. Liver of a depressing life. Writer of depressing bios. ko-fi.com/thecard

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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 1h
In fairness to Batman’s parents, the alley’s *full* name was “Petty Crime That Usually Doesn’t Warrant Calling Anyone Alley.”
150
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 1h
So many shits left unposted…
040
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 6h
How much longer do I have to not be a billionaire?
0122
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 6h
To be fair, any intelligence is super intelligence to the guy who came up with this name.
030
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 6h
“We’re going with something infinitely stupider now, Jake.”
070
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 7h
The economy’s so bad that Republicans are now charging for thoughts and prayers.
040
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 7h
The extent to which the media has minimized and normalized stuff like this is maddening.
020
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 9h
From 2023.
050
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 9h
The United Data Centers of Dystopia
0122
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 10h
Mildly hurt feelings are the root of all evil.
070
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 10h
080
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 10h
Triumphing over adversity? Best I can do is triumphing over triumphing over adversity.
050
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 10h
If nostalgia were a martial art, my sensei would have expelled me for misusing their teachings, thereby sending me down the path of evil.
170
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 11h
Nostalgia comes for us all.
080
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 15h
From last year.
040
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 15h
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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 17h
NEW COMIC: "National Drink Soup Day"
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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 17h
The opposite.
111
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 18h
National Drink Coffee Day will be immediately followed by National Not if it's Iced and You're at a Job Interview Day.
182
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 20h
One person cannot be expected to juggle this much lore.
1153
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 20h
I’m one automatic sign-out away from losing it.
0198
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 20h
“Practice makes perfect.” Cool. How can I practice being good at things I’ve never done before on the first try?
080
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 21h
Practice makes passable.
080
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I wish Disney would promote them as much as it promotes the King of the Hill revival (which is also top-tier). Seems like a lot of folks don’t even realize the show is back.
120
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Happy about the upcoming specials, but I really don’t want the actual show to end again. The current revival quickly found its footing, and I think this is the best Futurama has been since its original run. (I also think Disney could do a much better job of promoting it.)
291
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Don’t even talk to me until I’ve had my life-altering lottery win.
1162
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Pay it forward? Best I can do is sideways.
190
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Don’t even talk to me before I’ve had my three hours of doomscrolling.
0110
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Well, this grief ain’t gonna refuse to process itself…
0101
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Your tax dollars at play.
091
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Unless a draft makes it onto the main feed, it’s not canon.
091
Reposted by The Card
capybarasatwork.bsky.social @capybarasatwork.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
NEW COMIC: "Unprofessional"
0130
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
NEW COMIC: "The True Meaning of International Rabbit Day"
0181
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
091
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
TBH, I wouldn't go chasing any body of water.
1131
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Proof of life, if you call this living.
090
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I can't get no anything remotely close to satisfaction.
2193
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
He clearly has not seen my poverty.
081
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Is it unprofessional to bring unprocessed trauma to a job interview?
3150
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
More like “Not Missing Texas,” am I right?
090
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A sensible number of times in a blue moon.
081
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Every character on this zombie apocalypse show is cleaner and better-dressed than me.
0130
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Mr. Freeze actually requires all henchman candidates to bring iced coffees to their interviews.
081
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Would you bring an iced coffee to the death of civilization?
1142
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
More like “Baja Controlled Explosion,” am I right?
091
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
🎶I won’t won’t worry my life away🎶
191
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I’m poor in money, but rich in resentment about being poor in money.
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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Law & Order: Iced Coffee Unit
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