iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I love when someone’s “the customer is priority” extends so far they think if you’re wearing a shirt they like, it should theirs. I’ll just work in the sack we keep the dirty rags in. I got something you can wear, but you’re not gonna like the smell, but calling you Shithead Sam will be accurate.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Please know if I refer to you as a peach, it’s not a compliment. It’s meant very derogatorily. You’re not a peach because you’re sweet and pair well with things, and are generally liked. No… You’re a peach because you spoil and bruise (your ego)way too easily, and let’s face it… you’re basic.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Hey, listen: Honestly, I want you to have a phone to call your Uber. But, just like every form of tap is not ApplePay. So, when you walk up and say “do you have an iPhone charger?” please be specific. There are 2 (technically 3) Just say: Lightning, Type C or I have an iPhone 5. It’s not hard.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Oh, it’s dead? I didn’t notice. Yes, please keep bringing it up, you’re definitely going to be my favorite customer of the week.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

To the guy (it’s usually a guy) at the bar, who feels he needs to talk to every single person at the bar. You don’t, and I can almost assure you most of them don’t wanna talk to you. I know you think you’re omnipotent (I’ll give you a minute to look that up) and can improve every conversation…

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Good morning to everyone except people who drive 10 miles under the speed limit, and then cut off cars in oncoming traffic to make a left turn. If you wanna put your life, and their life in danger, whatever. But don’t inconvenience the people driving behind you while you do it. Toodaloo, bitch.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

One of my customers just said: “I’m Phil Margera just trying to take a dump, and life is Bam kicking the bathroom door in” And I’m honestly not sure I’ve ever related to a statement so much in my life.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

If it’s been a rough few days, especially because of customers, just remember it’s a 3-day weekend, so if anyone who was an asshole to you while working got arrested, there is a possibility they don’t get out until Tuesday morning. Happy Labor Day weekend.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

The best thing about holiday weekends is that the only people that seem to take vacations are the ones who don’t know how to drive. Good luck the next few days everyone.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

There are some common misconceptions about this job. Misconception #193: It’s a fun job. It is a fun job, and it can be, but it also can be stressful like anything else. But to the outside world, it looks like the most fun thing ever sometimes. Now because of that, you want to stay and have fun.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

There are two types of friends: Those who support you when you do dumb shit… And those who remind you you’re an idiot when you do dumb shit… And still support you. The rest are fake as fuck. Hold on to the ones who support you, especially during the dumb shit.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

This is not limited to bars and restaurants, but you know, target audience: When you go to work today just remember to give people an experience. Most people just want to escape and have a nice night out. But some people just deserve a bad time, and it’s your job to supply it. Slay, queens.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Shit Said at a Bar: “Preseason football is like foreplay. It can matter if you know what to look for, but some people look good early and just suck when it counts, or vice-versa.”

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Bar rule 382–4: If the only way you have to pay is your stupid phone because you’re not enough of an adult to carry a physical card, which I don’t care what argument you have, you should always have a back up, idiot. But, if this is how we are going to do it and you hand me the phone…

100

The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Reasons customers dislike me. No. 132: I don’t just smile and nod. If someone says the bar should do something one way, or charge ‘this much’ for an item, or is amazed when a place is short-staffed… I’m not your fluffier. It’s not a great idea and the customer is not always right. (Rarely is)

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Just a little heads up, yeah, every place is gonna be a little different. If you wanna call the big chain restaurant, maybe a host or a manager will be more than happy to entertain your stupid questions. And maybe your questions aren’t all stupid, even though common sense is not that common.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Things I enjoy seeing because they bring me great joy: • Your dog • Sunsets • Bubbly cheese on pizza • Your mom • Any dog • The drunk customer gain the courage to shoot his shot with the bartender and fail • 80’s movies • My dog

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Did you know that your Alexa sings a welcome song when you say thank you to it? If not, it’s because you’re mean to your Alexa, good luck when the robot overlord take over.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

New Rule: You order your food togo and eat it in the bar/restaurant. $5 fee and next time you order food togo, no box. It’s just all going into a bag loose.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

You know, looking back at The Goonies, it really doesn’t make sense at the end. It’s great they found the gems and all, but I’m pretty sure just tearing those papers up isn’t gonna save their homes. The gems still need appraised, sold, and some sort of court proceeding. Goonies may have said die…

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Shit Said at a Bar: “The problem with most religions is people skip over the part telling you to be a good person and lean on unquestionable forgiveness. And it’s not minor sins. It’s racism, and violence, and homophobia and such. Saying sorry with hope of no repercussions is toddler mentality.”

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

New life mission unlocked: Get PETA to block me on as much social media as possible.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Doctor: You need to get rest and avoid stress. Me: Are you going to give me an allowance so I can stay home and not work? Doctor: … Me: See you in six months.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

So I’m grabbing lunch at a food truck and the guy taking the orders is chatting people up while they wait and being polite and then this woman goes “I’ve never heard a Gen X-er speak in the wild, I don’t like this” and I just hope her food was too spicy for her and her next 3 craps are fire poops.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

Please remember: Every time you use an AI flyer, a Karen asks to speak to a manager. Do the right thing.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Saying that the other Bartender “hooks you up” or “fills my shot glass all the way to the top” or whatever is not the flex or status symbol you think it is. You’re gonna look like an entitled asshole and you might get someone fired, because he never know who’s listening or waiting on you.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Guy: I’d like to get an order of wings. Me: Okay, how many? Guy (Despite it saying it on the menu): How many do they come in? Me: You can do multiples of 6. Guy (Taking way too long of a pause): I’ll do 8! Me: No sir, gotta be in sixes. Man: 9? His friend: Jesus man, 6, 12, 18… are you dumb?

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

You gotta love the people that are like “ if I own this bar, what I would do…” Listen Mac, you’ve never even owned a car and you have trouble paying for your $12 bar tab, are you owning anything won’t be happening anytime soon.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

My pup has a very upset stomach today, and that is definitely feels like penance for his human going out last night. So, not the way I wanted to start my day, but when life gets inconvenient we wake up, cuddle our dogs, wait on people, make money, go home, and cuddle our dogs some more. Balance.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

I think it’s awesome. You wanna try something new, a new drink, a different beer, a new flavor of wings. Live a little. But not liking something you ordered(that is correct) is part of adulthood. So no this is not a trial and error buffet on the businesses. Person up, pay, live learn, move on.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

I prefer to go into any interaction with a new person with the understanding that everyone has shit going on. And, most importantly, everyone is crazy. Some of us choose to hide it and some choose to embrace it, but not all crazy is equal or acceptable. It really braces you for most situations.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Hey You, You are not bad at your job because you had an off day after one you rocked it. Two great shifts in a row are few and far between for me, recently at least. And really, my brain really has limited my from even feeling like I’ve done anything correct, or great, recently. Have I? Probably.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

Listen, I get it, you’re trying to teach your little child to order for themselves. But maybe, just maybe, look around and see how busy the fucking restaurant is. I’m sure your server would have nothing better to do than stare at little fucking Billy while he sits there silent, not ordering.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Bars/restaurants that still live in the past always surprise me. “No colored hair or tattoos! Make it free of personality and joy, like my sex life!” Then they can’t figure out why people won’t work for them. Do you, it’s your spot, just don’t be surprised when the profits are in the past too.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

“I used to bartend and…” And please don’t act like all the awful stuff we dealt with stays consistent. You didn’t have people with locked cards, or filming you with their phones, or having to “transfer money” while you’re two deep. And sure, you dealt with crap we didn’t have to. Stop competing.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Anyone who bitches about the price of alcohol at a bar should have to sit through a 4 hour seminar, timeshare style, where they go through how much liability insurance a bar owner has to pay.

010

The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

I’m driving by a Cracker Barrel and the parking lot is absolutely jammed out, which does make sense today because ‘Murica. And all I can do is laugh and think about when all these idiots lost their minds because they offered non-meat options. (Impossible I think it’s called?)

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

If more people received the same validation for doing just what’s expected on the regular as I give my dog, I feel a lot of people would have a much better outlook of themselves, and do wonders for moral and mental health. “Buddy! You did such a good job taking that poop! I’m so proud of you!”

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Does anyone know what the safe word is for life? I tried: Rigor mortis Pineapple Aardvark Ratatouille Yes Daddy No Daddy Arachnophobia Corn Starch Si Papa Pina Colada Contusion Penis Colada Topography Penis A Lotta And Arugula And it still won’t stop fucking me.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Please remember, at 85° outside that a car can reach 100° in under 8 minutes, and at 100° outside it can reach 140° degrees in under 20 minutes.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Me: Nothing you can say will bother me, I hate myself more than the worst words your tiny brain can throw at me. Also Me, after making one minor mistake ringing an order in: I’m the biggest piece of shit ever, I suck, and don’t deserve to be here.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

So I’m working a split today, I opened, two or so hour break and then I’m gonna close. Basically it’s situated so I can walk the dog, maybe get a nap in (which I really need, the last few weeks have been brutal). I walk in and puppy makes puppy eyes at me…

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Anyone who knows me knows that if I can pick up a shift, my love of money will basically overrule my love for sleep, or any kind of mental health concern I have. But really, why is it always the one who complains about being broke that wants to give up their shift every time? And that one…

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

You know the one coworker that just loves to talk shit about this person, and that coworker, and your regulars, your bar manager, that server’s significant other, and half the kitchen staff? They do the same to you when you’re not there. Be a spy, feed them false information and watch it spread.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

So I have seen the question: “If you took any movie and turned every actor a Muppet except for one who remained human, which movie would it be?” My basic answer to it has always been ‘Saving Private Ryan, any actor but Matt Damon’ but there are so many options that are hilarious. What do you got?

010

The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

I love when a customer makes request and you tell her you can’t do it, and they think you’re joking because they have never done a lick of industry work in their lives… And then 20 minutes later they ask again, but very serious. Why would I lie? Explain to me the reasoning behind that?

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Sometimes I think back to the annoying regular (who everyone hated) that (brilliantly) blurted out “I wish I could have a sandwich, but without the bread or wrap, someone should invent that” and I simply said: “Let me tell you about salads.” Everyone laughed. He stopped coming in. Good times.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

I swear so many of us in the service industry are just wired different. Not like in and I’m tougher than you way, like alpha bros believe they’re different. (Despite dressing, acting, smelling, etc. all the same) I mean in a “we are just broken” sort of way.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Bartending is like no matter how much you hate yourself, people, the world, all of it… A random, amazing, positive person comes in and you find out what they’ve been through, and it’s stuff you couldn’t comprehend, and you know you’re tough, but not that tough. Sometimes we all need to be humbled.

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The Angry Bartender @theangrybartender.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

"We can cripple a whole generation with manual transmissions and cursive writing!" - some dude who sees a QR code and believes it’ll turn him gay.

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