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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Did I ever tell you my story about meeting Le Guin?

The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I'm sure that in the pursuit of gains, my body fat will change and I'll look different, but that's not what I'm focused on now. I don't have to stay stuck in the paradigm my mom was living in her whole life.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

And this morning, when I thought, "I don't want to be skinny, I want to be strong," such a wave of relief came over me it actually brought tears to my eyes. I don't know if I could attain a slender body now, but I know I can get strong, and it feels really good to try.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

This morning as I was leaving the gym to pick up my daughter, it struck me that what I want to be is *strong*. I thought I wanted a slender body. I think bodies like that are beautiful, but I also think fat bodies and muscular bodies are beautiful, too, however hard it is to see myself as beautiful.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

As the start of school drew nearer, it occurred to me that I would have approximately 6 hours each week to do with as I pleased. My husband had been on his own fitness journey over the summer, and I became keen on the idea of getting a gym membership. It wasn't a lot of time, but it was something.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I felt like I didn't have the wherewithal to do anything about it. I tried working out at home sometimes, but I never got far with it. And then my daughter wasn't in a cast anymore, was no longer a baby, and had learned to walk. She was nearly 4, and we made the decision to start preschool.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I avoided looking at myself in mirrors with my clothes off. I was embarrassed to be seen, even by my husband. I lived like this for years, ashamed I didn't have the thin body I was supposed to have. Frustrated that the thing I knew would happen to me had happened.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I thought it would come off once things got back to normal (ha), but due to hip dysplasia and multiple surgeries, my baby was in a cast which made it very difficult to get out of the house for a long time. I became a stay at home mom, and was more sedentary than I'd ever been in my life.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

but it was minor. I knew I could get rid of it if I tried. I could live with the number on my jeans. And then I got pregnant, and I knew what having kids could do to a body, what it had done to my mother's. I was concerned about weight gain, reluctant to indulge in pregnancy cravings.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I've always been fixated on doing things right, and being worthy of praise. I was praised as a child for being smart, and have always been deeply afraid of not seeming smart anymore. Post-puberty, I filled out, gained a little weight where it hadn't been before. I was insecure about it,

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

This was the era of Weight Watchers, Atkins, SnackWell. Heroin chic. She meant well in praising me, just recognizing something in me that she longed for, like she might have praised my straight hair, or my freckles. I didn't realize until recently just how much I had internalized it, though.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Now, I understand why she did this. She grew up in a world where aspiring to thinness was the default expectation, with a mother who put particular value on it. My mom wouldn't have criticized me if I had been heavier, but she dealt with her own weight gain after kids, and really struggled.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

TW: weight loss I had a minor epiphany today. So, for much of my young life I was pretty thin, through no real effort. I was a reasonably active child, but I ate whatever I wanted and was just genetically predisposed to thinness. This was something my mother frequently praised me for.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Saw something that really shook me this morning. Please take care of each other. You never know what someone is going through.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I get it, I love pitt bulls and see the bad rap they get! I do think even so if a character was being compared to a pitt bull I would assume some degree of pugnaciousness was being suggested given their popular reputation

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Just IMO, I would first think of brown eyes like a Rottweiler, but then I would think it came with some connotation of ferocity or aggression due to the cultural idea that Rottweilers have those traits

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

You're making us look bad in front of the other countries

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I had such aspirations to keep a commonplace book once, but the habit didn't stick 😅 if you can keep it up, they're lovely!

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Reposted by The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻

Oregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

okay I'm sorry to literally beg for this, I've done part time jobs and you all have been amazing sponsoring for me doing work around the community But I go 1400 a month rent is due at the end of the month and I'm freaking out, they can delay it until the 8th but I think I honestly can't pay it

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Some people work out to look like their favorite celebrity. I work out to look like my Pathfinder character.

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Deciding between these two versions was unexpectedly difficult! We spent basically the entire episode deliberating 😆

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

This is a really interesting observation. I wonder if the explanation is as simple as how much more widespread and general the fans of Rowling's work are. Unfortunately, there is a huge percentage of people who just don't really engage with social issues in a personal way

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I just dropped my child off for her first day of preschool!!!!!

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The ghost of Ashley J Johnson 👻 @thatjackanapes.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I guess it's because it's like Excalibur, but it's absolutely not said like that 😆 and come to think of it, that title is extremely silly. In the context of Excalibur, "calibur" doesn't mean anything at all

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