theonion.com
56-Year-Old Roblox User Groomed By 68-Year-Old Roblox User
FAIRHOPE, AL—Exploiting the popular online game platform for his own perverse ends, local Roblox user Rodney McKinney, 68, was accused of grooming 56-year-old Roblox user Walter Rhodes, sources confirmed Wednesday. “For the past several months, Mr. McKinney, a 68-year-old Roblox user, used the game as a means to foster an inappropriate relationship with an impressionable young 56-year-old that was sexual in nature,” said officer Mike Cavazos, noting several obscene messages in which the baby boomer offered the much younger Gen X user Robux in exchange for lewd images of Rhodes’ flabby, mature body. “It was clear from their correspondence that Mr. McKinney knew the victim was 56, as he stated in chats that he was ‘old enough to be [Rhodes’] supervising manager.’ And though he claimed that messages inviting the victim to move off Roblox to a more private LinkedIn chat were innocent, we believe otherwise.” At press time, authorities claimed McKinney attempted to conceal his indiscretions by warning Rhodes not to “tell your mom, if she’s still alive.”
