iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

[CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDAL IDEATION] "You could make things so much easier for everyone."

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I really am just a waste of a life.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Really struggling to shake off the fear that even after all this time, and despite how uncertain things are right now, I still might not be ready to move forward. I still don't know who I am, or where my place is in the world. Almost every time I try to do something for myself feels like a mistake.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Depression really does just beat you down whenever it wants, huh?

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Right now a hug would go a long way.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I am disappointed I wasn't able to attend Vexpo this year. Kind of puts things into perspective how I wasn't sure I'd make it last year because of how bad things had been for months, and now a year later things are arguably worse...

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Made a silly little thing to use whenever it's someone's birthday. If it happens to be your birthday today, this is for you. 😊💛 #art #pixelart #oc #originalcharacter #animation

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Slowly but surely, I think I'm getting somewhere. There is a route for things to get better, even if it takes a while. Though I do feel kind of stupid for not being more prepared by now...

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I guess the art bug bit me, because I suddenly felt compelled to spend my evening (and some of last night) making this. ⚡⚔️🐸 #coquinuts #pokemon #art #oc #originalcharacter #animation #pixelart

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Not feeling great today, so I wanted to doodle something to help me feel better. 🐸💛 #coquinuts #art #mspaint

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

My brain is simply too Dark Souls-pilled, this was the first thing I thought of. 🤭

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I've been really consistent about how I take my meds; vitamin D in the morning, antidepressants at night. Yet somehow, having never done so previously, I've now accidentally mixed them up twice in the space of about four days. 😨 At least the second time I caught myself doing it...

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

"So what do you do for a living?" "I dress up as an anthropomorphic brick at English football matches."

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Had a phone call this morning that I've been waiting months for. It went well I think, there's a plan in place to help me starting from this time next week. Things might finally be moving in the right direction. 🙏

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

New Kirby game. New Metroid game. My heart is full today. 💛

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I can't lie, doing a stream where I go through a slideshow of silly, low quality doodles to introduce and explain my worldbuilding is a very amusing idea... 🤭 Even better if it helps me with my issues around both work ethic and anxiety to finish and present something like that. 🙏

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Not sure how I feel about the ability to post GIFs in Twitch chat... 🤔 Hopefully it doesn't prove to be too disruptive, if it's here to stay. What are other peoples' thoughts on it?

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Reposted by Amper

🐸💜🌈 Mega 🌈💜🐸 @megaa.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I opened up about my reality a bit today, its suicide prevention month, you never know whos suffering About 6 months ago I nearly made that decision to remove myself If it wasnt for my family I wouldnt have stuck around, if it wasnt for my community and friends the healing would have been harder

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Recently I've been trying to draw up a map for one of my most long-standing (and my current favourite) creative worldbuilding projects. Does it make much sense if you analysed it critically? I dunno, probably not. But it is both fun and calming. 💛 Maybe I'll share it once it's done... 🤔

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Reposted by Amper

Penni, Your Big Sister 🐾🦷 Vtuber/Artist @itspenni.kawaii.social · 06/09/2026

I am kicking my donothon back into gear! We've already met some of the goals, but I am DETERMINED to take better care of my health in whatever ways I can, including funding braces! We're starting off at $450 of our goal! #PenniParty #Vtuber #Donothon

A banner image for itsPenni's "Bratty Cat's Braces Donothon". The top left reads, in dark text over a white box, "One of my resolutions for the year is to take better care of my health... Including my teeth! So I'm raising funds to help afford braces, something that would greatly benefit my health given how wonky my teeth are- So lets have some fun while we raise money to make me more of a nerd!".

Below the text is a picture of itsPenni's vtuber model, looking forward and smiling softly.

To the right is a dark green box with a pink border, filled with text that reads:
Goals:
$25: Mustache Stream
$50: Super Mario 64 Stream
$100: Smash or Pass: Chat Picks Theme
$250: Lispy Karaoke
$500: Spicy Buldak Stream
$1000: Lisp For A Whole Stream
$1500: Meme Song Karaoke
$2000: Movie Night in Discord
$2500: Super Scary Horror Game Stream ; w;
$3000: Randomizer (Chat Picks Game)
$4000: Chat Writes A Skeet For me
$5000: Chat Picks PFP for 1 Month

Incentives:
$10: UwU/Ara ara/OwO/Bark/Meow
$25: Write Your Name On Stream
$50: Bark or Meow after every sentence (1 hour)
$100: Crude MSPaint Drawing (Mid-Stream)

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

"It's coarse, and rough, and irritating... And it gets everywhere." Wiktionary's word of the day for today is "ampersand", so what better time for me to pluck the low-hanging fruit? 🤭 #art #oc #mspaint #originalcharacter

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

On a rare positive note, I've figured out that I'm (probably) not developing lactose intolerance; my body just doesn't agree with lower fat kinds of milk. I've been enjoying having cereal again lately after far too long skipping breakfast from not being able to find any options I like. 😊

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

I think I finally managed to convince someone to take me seriously when I try to explain that I need help.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

I really hope that no one has to go through one of their family members struggling with Alzheimer's. Between having so many things in my life taken away from me, to not knowing how to help as things keep getting worse, I don't know what hurts more.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

My best game to date in Bejeweled 3, as well as my current top ten scores. I'm currently at Rank 26. I like the shiny gem game. 💎😊

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

A longer clip from an older VOD, but some more kind words from Alekirser. I'm trying to be more accepting, forgiving, and patient towards myself, and I hope everyone else can offer themselves the same leeway. 💛 (I also hope compression doesn't ruin this video in any way)

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Things have stalled, and for once I can have a moment of introspection. I hope I'm going about trying to get better the right way, but I still have worries about the future, and regrets about the last year or so. On a more humorous note, I think this image represents my 2026 so far pretty well.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I learned from VividlyVivi that you can get Bejeweled 3 on Steam. Strange as it may sound, that game has a lot of emotional & sentimental value to me, so I've been using it to destress lately. Also, I made this. It's not very good, but I thought it was funny. #NuclearFallArt #pixelart #animation

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

It's my little sister's birthday next weekend, and I kind of feel nervous about it. We haven't talked much over the last few years, and we both have a lot going on separately. I wanna express how much I miss them and reconnect more consistently, but I'm worried about being a burden or overbearing.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

I've always tried to make myself open to listen to people and help them when they're down however I can, even if I'm not the best with words. Apparently that's such a rare thing that not even my own family can extend the same to me. Even now, all I get when I'm feeling low is silence or dismissal.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Just found out that the place I was hoping to move into - the one place I've been able to find that might be able to support me and get my life back on track - no longer has any vacant accomodation for me. There's just no way out of this nightmare. I feel paralysed. I don't know what to do anymore.

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Reposted by Amper

COQUI 🐸🔪『3AM 📺& 𝔖𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔦𝔡𝔢 』 @coqui.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

lets not protect the grifter. his name is 📣𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐇 𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍 📣

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Beach Vodka Homosex? Sounds like a good time. Minus the vodka. I'm teetotal.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

It's not on the cards in the short term, but I have recently been thinking about what I might do if/when I try streaming again. I still want to find ways to share my creative projects. I have a big backlog of games. I might even consider ASMR, since it has honestly done a lot to help me lately.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Words of encouragement, courtesy of Alekirser. The journey is exhausting, scary, and sometimes feels endless. But the destination can be what I've finally needed for so long. A proper home. A chance to find comfort in myself. I just have to keep trying to make sure I never lose sight of that.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Got a phone call today from the support team I need to help me in securing new accomodation that better fits my physical and mental health needs. I thought this was the moment things would move forward. Instead, all they told me was that I'm still on the waiting list for at least a few more weeks.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

So close, yet so far. Maybe next year.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Very tired of making phone calls and repeating myself over and over again to try and get some help... I hate bureaucracy. I hate being at the mercy of bureaucracy. I just want to go back to living my life.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

I must have done something horrible in a past life to deserve some kind of longstanding karmic punishment. I don’t have any other way of making sense of how everything just keeps getting harder in new ways with no end in sight.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

@coqui.bsky.social Apologies for tagging you directly, but I hope it's okay if I direct you to a couple of posts that got missed last time you were checking your fanart tag. (Not your fault, my account was deactivated at the time) bsky.app/profile/tech... bsky.app/profile/tech...

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Three hours of sleep that felt like forever but not in a good way. Anxiety dreams making me feel like I can't trust anyone. Too hot to do anything while my country literally burns to the ground. Antidepressants doing nothing. No sign of things moving forward. Yet I can't even cry to let it all out.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

If there is anyone out there, please give me a sign. I feel so lonely.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Sitting outside in contemplation. Trying to hold on to the belief that things will get better. I hope, by the time I see the other side of this long bad dream, that people still remember me, and that things can go back to how they used to be, when I felt like I could be happy.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Almost got my hopes up for a moment, but it was a false alarm...

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I'm sorry if anyone saw the series of posts I made a few days ago. I deactivated my account and intended to be offline for the foreseeable future, but it turns out I'm very bad at sticking to that. Day by day I feel like I'm falling further from hope. My life isn't in my own hands, and I'm scared.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

"I can't stay here, I'm not safe! I can't go outside, I'm not safe! I can't sleep, I'm not safe!" Please, you stupid, horrible, useless brain, shut the fuck up just for a few days. PLEASE.

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Amper @technomanceramper.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Don't really appreciate being directed by people who owe me money what I'm allowed to use that money for before they'll give it to me... I don't remember running forensics on every minute detail when they borrowed it from me to begin with. But idk, guess I should disclose my full grocery lists now.

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