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TDPattillo

@tdpattillo.bsky.social
58K followers 458 following 776 posts

🔵 Vocal fan of democracy, small business owner, above average chess player, stand-up comedian, pseudo intellectual political analyst, and garage sale aficionado. IG: tom_pattillo_comedy

PostsRepliesMedia
TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Trump hates American socialists, but he loves Chinese communists.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
A day without Trump is like a day with fresh air.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
If Trump won’t let ALL news organizations into the White House then NO news organization should report anything Trump says.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
If Trump and the Republican-controlled Congress have the money lying around to issue $5,000 checks to every American why not do it NOW? Why wait until AFTER the election? It almost sounds as if the promise for payment in the future is total bullshit.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Why would Donald Trump, who says he is the most physically fit man ever to serve as President, require TWO firefighters to carry him on 9/11? Is he now admitting that even 25 years ago he was a useless fat fuck?
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Trump said America has more jobs than it’s ever had and people are working more than they ever have. He’s right! Average people have to work 2 or 3 jobs just to stay afloat.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Mr. Spock has withdrawn from the Freedom 250 Concert.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Spirit Airlines has ceased operations, reports highest level of service and customer satisfaction in years.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
One king. One jackass.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
The Pope is weak on crime. So are all the priests. They just won’t stop forgiving people!
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Which should concern Christians more, that Trump posted a picture where he looks like Jesus, or that he now claims he’s not aware of what Jesus looks like?
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
Looking forward to Trump inviting the Artemis crew to the WH and serving them McDonalds hamburgers and fries.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Trump brilliantly negotiated a deal to reopen the Strait of Hormuz after some dumbass started a war with Iran and got it closed down.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
People who said things like this about Charlie Kirk got fired.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
Trump plans to replace TSA agents with ICE agents on Monday. ICE agents were poorly trained to do the job they had, and will be completely untrained to do the job they are being given on Monday. What could possibly go wrong?!
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
Know what else is “so easy” and has “so little risk”? NOT starting a war with Iran for no good reason, that’s what.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
Stolen valor.
theguardian.com
Trump’s DHS pick, Markwayne Mullin, never served in military but talks as if he did
Oklahoma senator has repeatedly made cryptic claims about ‘overseas’ work and war experience, while refusing to explain them
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
“Donald Trump does not think strategically. Nor does he think historically, geographically, or even rationally.” — Anne Applebaum
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
Can you believe that America’s historic allies, after only a year of being ridiculed and threatened by America’s president, are choosing not to help America prosecute a war that America started, which they were not consulted on and did not want?
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
Trump says high oil prices “are making us a lot of money.” Who is this “us” of which he speaks? It sure as hell isn’t me or anyone I know!
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
The stock market is performing so badly Pam Bondi might release the Epstein Files just to distract our attention.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
I’m glad to see we are fighting in Ecuador now. The war in Iran was getting SO passé.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
According to Marco Rubio the US attacked Iran not because they were armed and dangerous but because we thought they MIGHT be armed and dangerous, so the US has now become the George Zimmerman of nations.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
The punch card Trump got with his FIFA Peace Prize clearly stated that once he stopped 8 wars he got a free one.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Pakistan has started bombing Afghanistan so Trump has another opportunity to claim he ended a war that he will claim did not start while he was president.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
“You fat sorry sack of shit, people hate you!” — James Carville, on Donald Trump
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Trump said tariffs brought in $17 trillion. Dividing $17 trillion by the number of people in the USA (345 million) works out to $49,275 per person. I’d like my refund in cash, please.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 16/02/2026
If the whole system will collapse if we prosecute everyone in the Epstein files, then the whole system NEEDS to collapse.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
The Lord forgives most people’s sins, and a high stock market forgives all Trump’s sins.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
If stocks keep going down, will Pam Bondi finally decide it's worth her time to start looking for pedophiles?
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
Republicans everywhere are shocked - SHOCKED - to learn that Trump is a racist.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
Gotta think the next “Blacks for Trump” meeting is going to be pretty awkward.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
“It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality.”
theguardian.com
Melania review – Trump film is a gilded trash remake of The Zone of Interest
Dispiriting, deadly and unrevealing – there is a decent documentary to be made about the former model from Slovenia, but this one is unredeemable
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
The reviews of Melania, the movie, are almost as bad as the reviews of Melania, the person.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Everyone involved with the movie “Ishtar” send sincere thanks and eternal gratitude to Melania Trump for making a movie worse than theirs.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
At least Melania can rest easy knowing that no one will ever plagiarize her movie.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Trump looks for new ways to distract attention away from Epstein files.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
Trump used the same design process and construction company as Spinal Tap.
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Reposted by TDPattillo
David Rothschild @davmicrot.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
ICE bragging about how after the kidnapped a child to use him for bait, they did not kill him.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 27/01/2026
Some ask, “Why would he bring a gun to a protest.” The answer is simple: “Because he could.” The NRA, right wing media, gun makers, Republican politicians, and the Supreme Court made sure of that. If they didn’t want him to carry a gun, why did they work so hard to make it legal for him to do so?
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 27/01/2026
"All victories against this administration are temporary. It is still headed by a raging, vengeful narcissist and stuffed to bursting with nihilistic shitheels.... But all anyone can do at moments like this is push back, and push back, and push back again.”
open.substack.com
The Opposition Is Winning in Minneapolis
The killing of Alex Pretti has forced the White House to retreat.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 27/01/2026
You have the right to keep and bear arms, but if you bring one to a protest ICE can shoot you, even if you have a permit to carry it and never take it out of its holster. And if you make an ICE agent feel threatened he can shoot you even if you don’t have a weapon and don’t do anything threatening.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
Democrats never came for your guns, but Republicans are telling you if you carry a gun in public they can (and probably will) kill you.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
If ICE is “making America safer” why do I feel LESS safe than I ever have in my own country?
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
Democrats have never trampled on gun rights like Republicans are doing now. Carry a gun legally and you get shot by law enforcement! That’s the Republican policy.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
What’s the difference between ICE and Nazis? Nazis showed their faces.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
It’s not enough for ICE just to kill you. They feel the need to kill you again and again.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
To all the MAGAs saying if people would just comply with the authorities they wouldn’t get hurt, please remember your words when we finally pass some common-sense gun-control laws and the authorities come to take your assault rifles. You will meekly comply, right?
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
We keep thinking, “They can’t kill all of us”, but ICE keeps trying to prove us wrong.
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TDPattillo @tdpattillo.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
I feel sure the man that ICE murdered today would still be alive if he had just gotten into the boxcar when the Nazis told him to do so.
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