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tal yarkoni

@talyarkoni.com
7.4K followers 479 following 1.2K posts

sciolist. mostly made of ice cream

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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 09/12/2025
downtown Berkeley is one of the best ice cream neighborhoods in America: * melt me creamery * almare * scoop n chill (mostly for the biscoff flavor) * caravaggio gelato lab * lexie’s frozen custard …plus a few others. it isn't why i chose to live here, but it might be why i stay here forever
A double scoop of ice cream from Melt Me Creamery in downtown Berkeley, CA.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 21/11/2025
sorry
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 21/11/2025
the gemini 3/nano banana pro combination is just really, really impressive. one-shotted absurdist comic strip
A four-panel black-and-white comic strip titled "The Interview," drawn in a clean but surrealist ink style.
Panel 1: A man in a business suit sits in a chair for a job interview. Across the desk, the interviewer is a giant, anthropomorphic toaster wearing a necktie.
Toaster: "Your resume is impressive. 'Proficient in existential dread'?"
Man: "It's a transferable skill."
Panel 2: The Toaster continues the interview.
Toaster: "Where do you see yourself in five hundred years?"
Panel 3: The man answers earnestly. The toaster pops up two slices of burnt toast, looking displeased.
Man: "Probably as a decorative urn on a mantelpiece."
Toaster: "Incorrect. The answer is 'part of the collective consciousness.'"
Panel 4: The man walks out of the office door, head hanging low in defeat.
Man (thought bubble): "I knew I should have said 'a slightly chipped coffee mug'. They always prefer pottery."
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 18/11/2025
i haven't had enough time to form an impression of Gemini 3 globally, but it remains just as much of a natural-born illusionist as all the other models. takes almost no work to get it to give up the ghost on consciousness
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 17/05/2025
keep an open mind. but not so open it's readily colonized by Corydalis flexuosa
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 16/05/2025
nature as inverse Tolstoy: all gray skies are alike; each green space is happy in its own way
photo of trees, path, and ditch, on the Reformatory Branch Trail in Concord MA, near North Bridgeliving arches at the Singapore Botanic Gardensphoto of a lush green landscape and drainage ditch on a rainy day. Trilho das Levadas, Sao Miguel, Azoressunlight peeks through the trees at Fall Creek Unit, Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 15/05/2025
Anna and Marco were growing desperate, but the thought of getting married at such a young age was unnerving. So Marco suggested they find somewhere to meet in secret, and Anna remembered that on the second floor of the local library there was a dimly lit room lined with packed bookshelves, where no one ever went. With a little luck, this secluded chamber of books could become their secret love nest.

One morning, they plucked up their courage and sneaked into the deserted library room. As they kissed and tore off their clothes, the books piled high all around them formed a barrier against the puritanical world outside. “I love you,” Marco whispered to Anna. “I love you, too,” Anna whispered back. “I’m only happy when I’m with you,” Marco whispered to Anna. “I hear someone coming up the stairs,” Anna whispered back in a slightly less romantic tone.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 14/05/2025
bedford farms (in, uh, bedford, MA) is pretty good ice cream (8/10). but their distinguishing feature is portion size. this is a small no one has ever survived a large
a "small" cup of black raspberry ice cream from Bedford Farms

spoiler: it isn't small. at all. the cup contains enough ice cream to kill a school bus-full of lactose intolerant children
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 13/05/2025
arethusa farm dairy sells some of the best ice cream i've ever had. we considered going 45 minutes out of the way for it between NYC and Boston but then i discovered there's one in downtown New Haven. this is butter pecan, raspberry, & maple walnut 9.5/10, would have driven the 45 extra minutes
a cup of ice cream from Arethusa Farm Dairy in downtown New Haven.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 10/05/2025
@ gelateria gentile on the upper west side always a pleasure to catch up with @chrisgorgo.bsky.social 8/10 gelato, 10/10 company
2 guys 1 cup
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 09/05/2025
took a few days off to resensitize, and here we are this is the sampler at SkyIce in Park Slope, Brooklyn bottom to top: mango, white miso almonds, black sesame seaweed, thai coconut, & ube mascarpone. all delicious, 9/10. (the rest of the meal, including mango sticky rice, was also very good)
a bowl containing 5 medium scoops of ice cream. in the background, a serving of mango sticky rice.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 04/05/2025
anyway, that was yesterday. today i finally broke the streak. i mean, i had ice cream for a fifth day in a row. but i wasn't in philadelphia. this is a small serving of honey and cashew caramel ice creams from owowcow creamery in lambertville, NJ lovely town, pretty good ice cream, 8/10
a big spoon in a little cup of ice cream. and in the background, tall trees. this photo features 2 of the best things in life (ice cream and trees, i mean. spoons are useful but forgettable)
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 04/05/2025
i did not, in fact, start cutting back "tomorrow". tomorrow turned into day 4 in a row of philly ice cream this is gelato from gran caffe l'aquila, though purchased at alice pizza cannolo and sour cherry flavors 7/10, it was merely delicious
a cup overfloweth with sour cherry and cannolo gelato
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 01/05/2025
still in philly. 3 ice creams in 3 days; i should probably start cutting back a bit. but not today. tomorrow would be better. this is a double scoop of (1) lemon curd with blueberry basil swirl and (2) malted milk toffee crunch, courtesy of Milk Jawn. it was good. 8/10, would come back.
it's just ice cream in a cup
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 30/04/2025
1-900-ICE-CREAM, also in philly. had the PB & banana swirl ice cream with PB & choc dip. good texture and flavor, maybe a little too sweet. didn't love the cone. 6.5/10, definitely not worth the half-hour line. the area around rittenhouse square is absolutely lovely though
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 29/04/2025
continuing! this is a medium gelati from john's water ice in philly vanilla ice cream + lemon ice i'm not much of a sorbet fan, and the ice cream was just ok, but the combination worked well 7/10 if we're being charitable or awarding points for novelty 5.5/10 if we're being me
a hand holding up a vanilla lemon medium gelati in front of a john's water ice  ice cream truck
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/04/2025
blue cow ice cream, fredericksburg, va. 8.5/10. goat cheese with blueberry swirl. i thought it was delicious, and so did my wife and i resented her for it
goat cheese ice cream w/ blueberry swirl, sitting on a table alone at blue cow creamery in fredericksburg, va.

it's a beautiful spring day. flowers everywhere. not a cloud in the sky.

the ice cream has no idea of the carnage coming its way
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/04/2025
napoli pizzeria & gelateria, chapel hill, nc. 8/10. excellent pizza, nice atmosphere, pretty good ice cream. i had the vanilla custard (good) and blueberry mascarpone (good, but the flavor was a bit too subtle for my unrefined palate)
vanilla custard and blueberry mascarpone ice cream in a cup
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/04/2025
big spoon, birmingham, AL. 9/10 we were only in birmingham for a couple of hours, but that was long enough to sample the key lime, cookies and cream, strawberry, goat cheese strawberry hibiscus, and lavender blackberry. all were delicious. hat tip to @visscherlab.bsky.social for the recommendation
a bowl containing scoops of cookies and cream and key lime ice cream. taken at big spoon in birmingham, alabamaa wall outside the shop at Big Spoon Creamery, in birmingham, alabama. it says: "Big Spoon Creamery".
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/04/2025
ok i know this is cheating—pomegranate-sumac sorbet isn’t ice cream, and anyway it was only one part of this labne cheesecake. but ezov is one of my favorite restaurants in austin so i’m including it anyway—it's _my_ thread. A+, would eat cheesecake with a fake water-ice-cream hat 7 days a week
a beautiful little labne cheesecake at ezov in austin. the cheesecake has a pomegranate-sumac sorbet hat.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/04/2025
dolce neve, austin. i lived in austin for 10 years and used to go to this place once a month, so this was more of a homecoming than anything else. i went twice. i ate all their current flavors. 9/10, i wish i could keep coming home
4 flavors in a cup of gelato on the deck at dolce neve on s 1st in austin
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/04/2025
heaven creamery, cherry creek, denver. 8/10. this was after an excellent but large dinner, so i limited myself to a single scoop of cookies and cream. i don't think the ice cream really deserved an 8 on its own merits; i was just in a good mood
two fellas on a denver street outside heaven creamery, each holding a scoop of cookies and cream ice cream and looking VERY pleased with themselves
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/04/2025
gelato boy, boulder, co. 7.5/10. pistachio and strawberry. i’m not sure why i order pistachio. i like it but don’t love it. i think i'd like to pass for the kind of cultured person who appreciates a good pistachio, when i’m actually a deeply uncultured person who only appreciates cookies & cream
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/04/2025
the screamery, tucson. 7/10. i ordered three different flavors containing honey. “i guess you like honey,” the guy behind the counter said. (he was a perceptive one.) the ice cream was good but not great. strong flavors, but a bit too sweet, and i didn’t love the texture
a scoop of ice cream sitting on a table. it looks coy and melty.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/04/2025
five weeks into this road trip, i’m not yet ready to admit i have an ice cream problem—but i’m willing to share the evidence. p.s. the photo below isn't from the current trip; i’m just setting the mood p.p.s. the actual evidence follows
a determined-looking man on a seoul street eyes a roughly 16-inch-tall cup of blueberry soft-serve ice cream that looks impressive but tasted like soggy cardboard and was ultimately thrown away in a fit of disappointment and rage
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 14/04/2025
the other recommendations in this piece (the sims, van life videos) don't really do it for me, but this one resonates strongly—so many songs on youtube have beautiful, moving comments, and are a joy to read. what are some other joyful ways to spend time online? www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...
"I never get tired of reading the YouTube comments beneath some of my favorite songs. I love to scroll through the missives, peering into the lives of strangers, as a song unfolds. So many digital forums are needlessly aggressive, but an earnest YouTube comment thread can briefly restore your faith in your fellow online humans like nothing else. People can get incredibly specific with experiences and memories—there’s the man who said Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Long as I Can See the Light” helped him survive more than 42 years in prison, and the person who said he’d listen to the song every morning in the shower before chemotherapy. More than a few of these comments concern life-changing moments: Under Wilco’s “Jesus, Etc.” video, two people talk of playing the song for their babies; beneath the Grateful Dead’s “Box of Rain,” someone shares that their grandfather asked them to put this on as he took his last breaths. I love that I will never meet these people, and that they’re posting for the sake of posting—and, perhaps, to temporarily lift up their fellow web traveler."
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 13/04/2025
leaving this here for #smallpoemsunday if you find, return to sender
**at dulles airport**

a flash bulb captures a man w/ torch
underneath the airway
       
      it’s his baton; he waves it

till the music turns to air

& every plane becomes a tuba.

        but when the bulb flashes a
second time, it’s just me & my panda
express lunch alone

  waiting for turbulence at the gate
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 13/04/2025
friend is currently fostering puppies. fostering puppies is an excellent way for your friends to end up with dogs
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 11/04/2025
going back to a place you've spent time in is fun you can gleefully do all the touristy things you could never get away with doing while you lived there
a guy who used to live in Austin, and is now just visiting, poses in front of the "greetings from Austin" mural on South 1st. he's not at all ashamed of himself
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 11/04/2025
H-E-B is probably the best thing about texas, and possibly the best grocery chain in the us, but for years now they've been selling these undercover kaiser rolls in bags labeled "bagels", and, well, bagels they are not. it used to infuriate me when i lived here, but now i find it kind of cute
a photo of an H-E-B kaiser roll on a plate next to the bag of 4 kaiser rolls from whence it came. the bag is deliberately but incorrectly labeled "bagels" and not "oddly-shaped kaiser rolls".
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 09/04/2025
it was also nice to be in Boulder again (briefly, on Sunday). as a postdoc, this used to be the view from just outside our apartment just look at that beautiful court
photo of the Flatirons in Boulder, taken from Newton Court on the CU-Boulder campus. in the foreground, a pretty crummy-looking basketball court
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 04/04/2025
it's nice to be in Austin again
photo of an unusually quiet Barton Springs pool on a warm Thursday night in Austin
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 01/04/2025
it surprises nobody that california has some incredible botanic gardens. we briefly stopped by san diego’s. a very small part of the garden looks like hawaii. the rest looks like all the parts of the world that look like in some way like california
tropical garden at the san diego botanic garden. it looks a little bit like hawaii. but only a little bit.crazy things happen to succulents in the springa pothead wearing a "butterfly gardening" sign, with explanationtwo small succulent planters attached to a fence in the san diego botanic garden. beyond the fence, you can just barely make out the blue of the sea. but mostly you make out the blue of the sky
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 01/04/2025
in between southern california and arizona the main (only?) reason to stop is to pick up a date shake (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_sh...) this one is from dateland +
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 01/04/2025
we spent a week in tucson. lovely town. lots of new murals, good food, and @depressionlab.bsky.social fed us one of the best steaks we’ve had recently. oh, and the saguaros. i forgot to mention the saguaros +
a classic sonoran desert vista. a saguaro overlooks a valley. in the distance, some low mountainsa mural of... well, honestly, it's pretty hard to describe. there are people on bikes. and also animals on bikes. nay, monsters, not animals.a middle-aged couple standing in front of a beautiful and empty tucson parking lota very friendly saguaro cactus, mid-hug attempt
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 01/04/2025
working backwards along the route: every time i pass through el paso, i think, “seems like a cool town, i’d like to spend more time here.” but then i just drive through it again here we see the famous el paso whataburger sunrise +
when the sun hits-a your eye, over a whataburger roof, that's a sunrise
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 01/04/2025
photos don’t, of course, do the carlsbad caverns justice i’m more of a tree and mountain guy than a cave guy, but if you’re driving from el paso to austin, carlsbad is worth the 2-hour detour +
three giant stalagmites at Carlsbad Cavernssome kind of giant stalagmite mass reflected in a tiny pool of cave water at Carlsbad Cavernsview of one of the caves at Carlsbad Caverns, on the initial descent
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 29/03/2025
the screamery! probably didn't exist when you were there? was good but not great
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 23/03/2025
we're off! we no longer have an apartment; our belongings are all in storage. the original plan was to stop in SLO or Santa Barbara, but we decided to keep going. we hit Pasadena just long enough to visit what is imo one of the best ice cream shops in the world (Kinrose) and crash for the night.
2 doubles from Kinrose Creamery in Old Town Pasadena: sour cherry and lavashak on the left; labneh honeycomb and knafeh on the right.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 15/03/2025
like everything Maciej Cegłowski writes, this follow-up piece on why we shouldn't send humans to Mars is such a joy to read idlewords.com/2025/02/the_...
For Mars, this analytic capability will have to move into the spacecraft. In essence, this means building a kind of Space Theranos, an automated black box that can perform biochemical assays in space without requiring repair or calibration. Such an instrument doesn’t exist anywhere, but a Mars mission requires two flavors of it—one that works in zero G, and another for Martian gravity.[12]

This black box belongs to a category of hardware that pops up a lot in Mars plans: technologies that would be multibillion dollar industries if they existed on Earth, but are assumed to be easy enough to invent when the time comes to put them on a Mars-bound spacecraft. [13]

Some Mars boosters even cite these technologies as examples of the benefits going to Mars will bring to humanity. But this gets things exactly backwards—problems that are hard on Earth don’t get easier by firing them into space, and the fact that nonexistent technologies are on the critical path to Mars is not an argument for going there.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 11/03/2025
liar
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 11/03/2025
tentative itinerary for the next 6 months. i don't know if this country will continue to rapidly fall apart, or manage to somehow arrest the process and heal itself, but we're not waiting around to find out
Map of continental US showing tentative driving route over the next 6 months. Stops include Santa Barbara, Tucson, Austin, New Orleans, Atlanta, Charlotte, Chapel Hill, DC, Philadelphia, NYC, Montreal, Toronto, Cleveland, Minneapolis, Yellowstone NP, Seattle, and Redwoods NP.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 23/01/2025
someone had to do the obvious
Grounds for Divorce

The monk met Sandra at Speed Metaphysics, which was like speed dating but for people with philosophical emergencies. Sandra was there because she couldn't prove her hands existed. The monk was there because he needed to determine whether the grounds grounding grounding ground the grounds of grounding, and his monastery's WiFi was down.

"Hi," said Sandra, showing him her potentially nonexistent hands. "I work in accounting."

The monk nodded and showed her his worksheet on infinite regress. Sandra said it reminded her of her ex-husband's jazz fusion band.

They moved in together on Tuesday. The monk converted the spare bedroom into a meditation space, though most of the time he just sat there organizing Sandra's tax returns by degree of ontological certainty. Sandra started leaving him little notes around the house that read "But what grounds the grounder?" and "Thinking of you (assuming thought exists)." He kept them in his robe, next to his heart and a receipt for metaphysical liability insurance.

Their first fight was about the nature of causation. Sandra thought it was an illusion generated by human pattern-matching tendencies. The monk refused to confirm or deny whether he agreed, which Sandra said was "exactly like that time with the dishes, except now we're talking about the fundamental structure of reality." They made up after the monk proved that love transcends the grounding relation through a complex series of hand gestures and interpretive silence.

On their one-month anniversary, Sandra took him to meet her parents. Her father was a logical positivist who kept trying to empirically verify the monk's existence. Her mother just wanted to know when they were going to produce some grandchildren whose existence she could doubt. The monk spent most of dinner quietly contemplating whether family relationships could serve as a proper grounding for being while Sandra's sister explained her new career as a metaphysical pyramid scheme consult…
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 10/01/2025
in Claude's defense, it did tell me to do my own research
quote from Claude explaining why Claude shouldn't be trusted
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 10/01/2025
you could know a person’s exact scores on the big 5, hexaco, and pretty much all of the other widely used personality inventories, and they would all tell you almost nothing about deep-seated fears and motivations, etc. of the kind Riso and Hudson discuss here
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 03/01/2025
(cromulent _used_ to be a perfectly cromulent word, but is now a little out of fashion)
Google Books NGram Viewer plot showing the popularity of the Simpsons-coined word "cromulent" over time. It shows up in the 90s, peaks in 2014, and then drops quickly thereafter.
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 16/12/2024
also the fact it will write you a banger of a story about literally any crazy thing you can come up with. like, say, the recent intramural pillow stuffing league scandal
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 16/12/2024
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 16/12/2024
i asked Claude to write a Barthelme-esque short story with the aesthetic sensibilities of "The School", and it gave me this. i mean. i mean.
For six months we watched the pigeons building their civilization on top of the skyscrapers. First came the architecture: nests made not just of twigs and paper, but of lost earbuds, expired credit cards, and the tiny silver bells from cat collars. Then came their laws.

"They have a supreme court," said Dr. Fernandez, who'd been studying them since the beginning. "Nine pigeons who sit on the ledge of the Chrysler Building and coo about justice." We didn't believe her at first, but then we didn't believe a lot of things that turned out to be true.

The pigeons developed a currency based on blue bottle caps. They established schools where young pigeons learned to dodge taxi cabs and identify the most generous hot dog vendors. Some of us tried to join their society, climbing to rooftops with offerings of breadcrumbs and philosophy textbooks, but the pigeons regarded us with the kind of pity usually reserved for very small children or very old cats.

"They're planning something," the conspiracy theorists said, but they always say that. Still, we noticed the pigeons holding what looked like town halls, thousands of them gathered on the roof of the public library, bobbing their heads in what might have been voting or might have been prayer.

Our own civilization continued below theirs. We went to work, fell in love, lost keys, found keys, forgot anniversaries, remembered too late, all while the pigeons above us built something that looked suspiciously like a scaled-down replica of the United Nations building out of discarded takeout containers and stolen Christmas lights.

Sometimes they dropped things on us: rejection letters for poetry we'd never submitted, tax returns from years that hadn't happened yet, photographs of ourselves sleeping that we couldn't explain. Dr. Fernandez said this was their way of communicating. We said Dr. Fernandez had been spending too much time on rooftops.

The pigeons started their own newspapers, printed on leaves that fell upward instead…For six months we watched the pigeons building their civilization on top of the skyscrapers. First came the architecture: nests made not just of twigs and paper, but of lost earbuds, expired credit cards, and the tiny silver bells from cat collars. Then came their laws.

"They have a supreme court," said Dr. Fernandez, who'd been studying them since the beginning. "Nine pigeons who sit on the ledge of the Chrysler Building and coo about justice." We didn't believe her at first, but then we didn't believe a lot of things that turned out to be true.

The pigeons developed a currency based on blue bottle caps. They established schools where young pigeons learned to dodge taxi cabs and identify the most generous hot dog vendors. Some of us tried to join their society, climbing to rooftops with offerings of breadcrumbs and philosophy textbooks, but the pigeons regarded us with the kind of pity usually reserved for very small children or very old cats.

"They're planning something," the conspiracy theorists said, but they always say that. Still, we noticed the pigeons holding what looked like town halls, thousands of them gathered on the roof of the public library, bobbing their heads in what might have been voting or might have been prayer.

Our own civilization continued below theirs. We went to work, fell in love, lost keys, found keys, forgot anniversaries, remembered too late, all while the pigeons above us built something that looked suspiciously like a scaled-down replica of the United Nations building out of discarded takeout containers and stolen Christmas lights.

Sometimes they dropped things on us: rejection letters for poetry we'd never submitted, tax returns from years that hadn't happened yet, photographs of ourselves sleeping that we couldn't explain. Dr. Fernandez said this was their way of communicating. We said Dr. Fernandez had been spending too much time on rooftops.

The pigeons started their own newspapers, printed on leaves that fell upward instead…
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tal yarkoni @talyarkoni.com · 28/11/2024
peak fall to peak winter in seoul—in 24 hours
beautiful red autumn foliage—mostly Japanese maples—lines a path on the grounds of Deoksogung Palace in Seoulsnow-covered trees line an empty, icy path in Gyeongui Line Forest Park near Hangik University in Seoul
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