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Stone Cold Swerve Autism

@swervestray.bsky.social
296 followers 101 following 362 posts
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
If I saw a pot call a kettle black, I'd be like, whoa, that pot can talk
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
I know what you're thinking: you can't just start with a prolepsis, can you? And I'm here to tell you, you can.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Like all good anarchists, I am staring at pictures of Mitch McConnell
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
I have discovered new nouns
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
I wanna write a philosophy of the history of the philosophy of the history of philosophy.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
[leaping from the tub] destroy capitalism!
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Who thought of houses? He was just standing in the middle of a field, listening to the crickets, feeling the breeze in his hair, smelling the good dirt of all the world around him and was like how the fuck do I get out of here
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
I miss my old small town bank where I had a real RELATIONSHIP with my account manager. It was nice being able to go in, make a deposit, chat for a while, then have a good, long cuddle.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
If you use words to mean things no one else means by them, you're a philosopher. If you get away with it, you're a poet.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I slip into a cafe, plug in my headphones, and put on my favorite track, "Cafe Sounds"
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Frog fact: the prehistoric giant frog beelzebufo was big enough to eat a small dinosaur
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Someone did the "steal your nose" thing to me when I was 6 and then they accidentally dropped it into a giant box full of noses and I've never been sure I got my own nose back
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
I've been playing some pretty good chess ever since I implemented my new strategy of not making any bad moves
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
A million people posting points of view. The sound of tree leaves when the wind blows through.
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Avery Edison @averyedison.com · 29/06/2026
everyone has that one friend who insists “there used to be another number between four and five” and tries to demonstrate it by laying out four apples and then adding another and you say “yeah, that’s five” and they say “no, it’s—“ and then you hear a weird buzzing
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Nobody is engaging with my good opinions because everyone is too intimidated. People, you don't have to be scared. I'm just like everyone else except much smarter.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
A lot of people would be surprised to hear it, but I'm actually very good friends with the guy who's currently running up behind me unbeknownst to me wielding a halberd
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
If the essence of being "punk" is the production of cultural material that is completely useless to the dominant power, then punks should read Foucault, imo
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
It always blows my mind to remember that penguins are not real and only exist as holograms at zoos
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
I want my money back for all the times I bought food and then still had to eat again like 4 hours later
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Hey, has anyone tried doubling the size of Apollo's altar?
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Check out this card trick [I just throw a whole deck in your face]
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
broke: baroque woke: waoque
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
I have a Derrida joke. Every time I tell it, someone who doesn't get it tries to explain it to everyone else.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Today is day 1 of posting about which day it is. Going strong so far and I'm so glad I decided to do this. Thanks for believing in me, everyone.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
I'm on the SSS (Spectrum Spectrum Spectrum). I fall somewhere between "Everything is a spectrum; being and non-being are ultimately identical; true and false are shades of an illusion" and "actually, a dog is a fish."
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
If we all agree to tell our kids they must never say "Grover Cleveland," I think we can make it into a pretty good swear word
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
The CDC now says they've actually been the rock band ACDC all along but someone painted over part of the name
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
If you step on someone else's shoes, you need to walk a little farther behind them. If you step on your own shoes, you need to stop time-traveling to the same exact moment.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
The best thing young people can do early in their careers is to push a giant boulder up a steep hill, only to have to push it up again the next day.
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Sargoth (gyromantically haberdashing iamb) @longersky.com · 11/06/2026
The millennial mind can not fathom Roblox it is an epistemic blind spot; any mental map places it firmly under one of the decorative sea creatures that must dot such documents
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
I'm pro-AI, and I think they should go faster. I look forward to a world in the near future where billionaires have fully authorized personal robots wandering around with an OS that can be hacked by talking casually with it. Let's accelerate that and talk them into giving away 100% of their wealth.
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Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
TOM BOMBADIL, TECH SUPPORTE: Hey dol, merry dol! Floweres and starres and rayne! Turne off your machyne and wayte, then turne it on agayne!
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tara @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 14/01/2026
New house is powered almost entirely by an ancient obelisk out the back I’m saving so much money
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
What if a bunch of people online started getting really worked up about the opinion that playing the video game counts as reading the book. Imagine there were fierce advocates on both sides who would say the ugliest things about each other. This feels realistic to me.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
I want to post some nouns. 1 like = 1 noun
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Sargoth (gyromantically haberdashing iamb) @longersky.com · 11/05/2026
Capitalists: the things about planned economies is that they lead to centralization of production, such that critical supply chains can be disturbed by singular unexpected events The decentralized modes of production: yeah, no, boat stuck
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
What's wrong with AI? I love AI! I can finally vibe-code my own word processor so that I don't have to see prompts to write with Google Gemini when I'm trying to write poetry!
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
What are your mad protocols?
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Sarah Z @sarahz.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
What if you matched with someone really cute on hinge but then the moment you met them irl you were struck with vivid, lifelike, and undoubtedly real memories of them cutting you off in traffic back when you were both priests attendants in ancient Ur
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 21/11/2024
Ever had stone soup? "Like in the story, about the magic of sharing?" Huh? Hang on it's a bit loud in here *pours geodes into meat grinder*
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They Might Be Giants @tmbg.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Our new LP The World Is to Dig is everywhere 4/14, but grab your headphones and tuck in for the weekend because you can download it NOW. It’s a fundraiser for our studio work! Help sustain our project and hear all 18 new song before the rest of the world does! Exclusively at TMBGshop.com.
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Kevin 🚀 @astro-kevin.com · 01/04/2026
Artemis is a hopeful reminder that government can be a good thing if we staff it with passionate, skilled, and honorable people.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
When you say something unpopular, you have to call "no loopholes." Depending on who you're dealing with, you might have to call "no loophole loopholes either" and clarify that "square holes" and other such variations are not to be mentioned.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
At first hesitant, turning back to look at me as though for permission, then gradually picking up speed until they are fairly bounding across the meadow, my feelings scurry back into the wild, where I'll never have to deal with them again. I am finally just a skeleton with skin.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
I can believe that a centipede has 100 legs, but a millipede has a thousand? I don't think so!
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
Oxford comma stans, pedantic blowhards, and AP style cucks are equally condemned to ambiguity.
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Stone Cold Swerve Autism @swervestray.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
What is a "self" and do I actually need one, feel like I could be fine without it?
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