Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 30/09/2025I braved it and went into HR’s office for the obligatory dog tax 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 30/09/2025(In my defense, it’s been hiding in HR’s office and I try to avoid going in there if at all possible) 110
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 30/09/2025Today, for the first time in years, I feel like a failure at work… There’s been a dog in the office ALL DAY and I only found out about it ten minutes ago. 110
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 26/09/2025Taken care of my car’s tag renewal before my birthday: ❎ Scheduled my annual birthday tattoo appointment: ✅ I know where my priorities lie 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 23/09/2025Working in a pharmacy taught me that the medical abbreviation for acetaminophen is APAP Majoring in chemistry taught me that the chemical formula for it is C8H9NO2 Trying to temper my outrage has taught me that this is all just another distraction from the Epstein files 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 16/09/2025This actually explains a lot of our interactions. From both sides. 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 16/09/2025media.tenor.coma man in a black shirt and tie is holding a pen in his hand and writing on a piece of paper .ALT: a man in a black shirt and tie is holding a pen in his hand and writing on a piece of paper . 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 16/09/2025I’ve sent (what some might consider) an alarming amount of gifs featuring people jumping off of ledges or driving off of cliffs in Teams chats today. This is less a statement about my wellbeing and more a question for the Teams employees: Hey… y’all good? Because why are these available? 110
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 14/09/2025I’m glad none of my coworkers took me up on my free ticket offer. I’d feel like I’d owe them money. 020
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 12/09/2025(wow I butchered “definitely” so bad even autocorrect couldn’t save it) 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 12/09/2025Soundwave was deifinitrly one of my favorites, but the Laserbeak and Ravage casettes are really what sold me on this one. 110
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 23/08/2025Theee are either far more Waymos in Atlanta than I thought, or there’s just one that’s following me around almost constantly. Honestly, I don’t know which reality I would prefer. 110
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 18/08/2025Just said “Thanks, you too!” when the lady at the drive thru told me to enjoy my coffee, so I’m gonna go ahead and chalk this week up to a total loss.media.tenor.comSchitts Creek GIFALT: Schitts Creek GIF 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 23/07/2025I take comfort in the fact that my son finds my voice soothing and falls asleep in minutes while I’m reading to him at night. But come on bro we’re never going to finish The Hobbit at this rate. 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 20/07/2025Sure Atlanta United lost another game at home, and sure the Charlotte fans were once again louder than ours in our own stadium… But the same Lyft driver that took me to the stadium brought me back home and I’ve gotta take the Ws where I can.media.tenor.coma man is standing in front of a sign that says ' usted leadership for a stronger america 'ALT: a man is standing in front of a sign that says ' usted leadership for a stronger america ' 030
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 19/07/2025Looks like my job’s be easy: you’ll be breaking your own ankles in those. 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 19/07/2025See you on the pitch tomorrow. I’ll wear my extra sharp cleats for you 😘 110
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 15/07/2025(Just noticed these are for “hospitality packages,” so a regular ticket will be cheaper, but still: oof) 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 15/07/2025World Cup prices have started to come out, and it’s simultaneously better and worse than I had planned for: 100
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 01/07/2025The major difference is that, given the option, I’d have chosen for my dog to live forever. (Mandatory dog tax attached) 040
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 01/07/2025Heading into this 4th of July weekend feels very similar to celebrating my dog’s 15th birthday: I want to be happy, but I can’t shake the feeling that this may be the last one. 220
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 27/06/2025I know every waking day brings new atrocities and society continues to decline further and further but season four of The Bear just came out and it *still* isn’t a comedy… So there you go, a little consistency for us all in these times. 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 16/06/2025I immediately did the math on this and yeah, it checks out. 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 12/06/2025The opportunity to call it the Stankonia Dome was once again ignored. www.atlantanewsfirst.com/2025/06/11/m...atlantanewsfirst.comMercedes-Benz Stadium prepares for name change, specialized turf ahead of World CupThe World Cup begins in 365 days. 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 31/05/2025I am so glad that my son doesn’t have an athletic bone in his body and I will be spared from most of this. 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 31/05/2025“Am I unworthy of love, or do I just need a snack/to take a nap?” An ongoing anthology, written by me. 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 28/05/2025My favorite IT guy at work: if you don’t update your password, you might get locked out of your email and Teams on your phone. Me: Right, and are there any downsides? 020
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 19/05/2025Let me clarify “all for”: I want to acknowledge that they’re trying. Against a backdrop of the largest second place trophy in the world. Without acknowledging it. So yeah, not really all for. 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 19/05/2025This morning I saw a billboard advertising a Juneteenth edition of the laser show at Stone Mountain, which I’m all for. But the irony isn’t lost on me, given what’s carved on the side of it. 100
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 04/05/2025Currently standing in a line with my son, his best friend, and his best friend’s dad. The kids are having a blast and laughing with each other. Us dads? Not a word. Not forcing small talk. And we’re both completely content with that. (At least I think so. What am I gonna do, ask him? Come on.) 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 30/04/2025“Hey RFKJ Go to Hell” … My son’s much better at this than I am. 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 30/04/2025Today, on the last day of Autism Acceptance/World Autism Month, I’d like to provide a poem that my autistic nine year old son wrote (as well as one of my own in the comments): 110
Reposted by SwanThe New Yorker @newyorker.com · 28/04/2025Barry Blitt’s cover for this week’s issue, “The First Hundred Days.” #NewYorkerCovers nyer.cm/ysrCZ47 413273806603
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 28/04/2025The downside to having the worst March Madness bracket in my group? Having to buy donuts for the rest. The upside? I get a donut today. 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 23/04/2025Full disclosure: he was, in fact, being a whiny crybaby bitch. But I kind of enjoy having money come in regularly so… 010
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 23/04/2025While it wasn’t a New Year’s resolution per se, early this year I did decide that I would no longer apologize for things that weren’t my fault, especially professionally. Well, today I called a client a “whiny crybaby bitch.” And maybe… just maybe… I might have to walk this one back. 😅 110
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 17/04/2025Bonus: here’s a dinosaur on a skateboard that I drew for a coworker during a Teams meeting the other day, just because. 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 17/04/2025Because you know what the alternative is? Not having him around at all. And I don’t see how that’s even a debate. In summary: vaccines don’t cause autism. Autism isn’t a disease. Vaccines prevent diseases. And this entire administration can fuck right off from the top down. (End) 100
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 17/04/2025If you told me I could choose between my son having measles (a preventable disease that kids shouldn’t be dying from yet here we are) or being who he is now? It’s a no brainer. Sign me up for the constant stream of dinosaur facts every time. I love ‘em. (4/5) 100
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 17/04/2025And just for a second, let’s say that there was a correlation. So what? You’re saying it’s better to have your child die of a preventable disease than be autistic? Fuck all the way off with that. (3/5) 100
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 17/04/2025First off, no. For all the research that already disproves this claim, I’d like to also submit my son as evidence. He’s immunocompromised, can’t receive live vaccines, and is very much on the spectrum. He’s also the best guy I know. (2/5) 100
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 10/04/2025*I think we’re all painfully aware at this point that “could” doesn’t equal “will” 000
Swan @swantzu.bsky.social · 10/04/2025Gee, Chuck… if only we knew someone who could* do one goddamned thing about it. OHWAIT 100
