iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

a few people have asked me about going to see the Nathan Fielder Elizabeth Holmes documentary, but I honestly think this is just one of those things I need to do alone

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

remember when Rate My Professor had the little chili pepper emoji for profs? what if we brought that back for uber drivers

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

there is a guy who lives in my building who has a BABY who has tried to use the baby to flirt with me and every time I’m having a weird day he is like in the elevator with his fucking baby I swear to god

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Reposted by Naomi 🌊

Amber Auclair @amberauclair.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Fore-play just got interesting ⛳️

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Redoing my website means being radically honest with myself (putting “smoked salmon” on my wishlist)

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

just found out this was their first time doing a halftime show for soccer? no disrespect but like…you can tell

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

Answering all my emails this weekend but just stopping in to ask how the fuck they’re on Toy Story 5 now

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Just biked up a huge hill to go to my doctor’s appointment and was experiencing actual difficulty and then I arrived at the doctor’s appointment five minutes later and they took my blood pressure and it was in the OPTIMAL range. Olympics when

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

they’re giving out green Michelin stars now? you get out of the game for a minute and everything changes

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

New York is so nice! I completely understand why you guys go through such horrible things to live here

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

Hard agree, I went to the spa a while ago on a weekday and was like “holy shit why aren’t you guys at work”

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

my takeaway from watching the superbowl is that all of those guys look scared. whenever it zooms in on their faces they have a real italian greyhound urgency behind them

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

saw a guy at the dentist wearing one of those gym shirts that says “NO EXCUSES”, many jokes here and they can all write themselves

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 18/01/2026

I didn’t understand what the gay hockey show was so I tried to watch it with my family at christmas and when the guys started having sex we were like “oh maybe it’s just one scene” so we fast forwarded like 15 min and then they were still having sex just in a different part of the hotel room

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 17/01/2026

one thing about me is that any time a dentist has a neon sign of a tooth I go crazy

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

No disrespect to plastic surgeons but sometimes the physical location is giving The Substance remade on an even smaller Canadian budget

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 13/01/2026

five different people have sent me articles about mattel releasing a new autistic barbie and I think that’s cyberbullying

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

As heavily implied by my anesthesia-posting, I’m taking a brief leave of absence to recover from an elective surgery. If you’d like to enrich my enclosure, send something delightful or plan a date for my return in spring: www.naomiloren.com/hiatus

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

Just realized you can do this too! It’s under “moderation” and “content filters” : )

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

my fave part of having surgery was when the anesthesiologist (old queb man) came in and I told him I was scared because it was my first time and he said “oh! you will love”

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

high on LEGAL pain medication from my SURGERY and this close to just making a public list called “hot” and adding a bunch of hot people to it. also watching best in show again. real update coming tomorrow!

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

*struggling to express myself in French* it’s time to get serious…about learning classical Greek

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

settle a disagreement: how cold is too cold to go to an outdoor spa

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

my kink is making a reservation for one on opentable and under special occasion, selecting ‘date’

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

free business idea: alamo drafthouse with a dim sum cart

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

Also just btw I’m in SF/the Bay Area for the rest of the year ;) reach out if you’d like to connect!

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

being back in San Francisco is giving me continual whiplash because what do you mean this Macy’s has been here since 1947 and I didn’t notice until they closed the Nordstrom and I was forced to reckon with it

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 16/12/2025

website is getting a mini facelift right now, will update you when it's back up :) also answering emails tonight and posting my little announcement x

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 22/11/2025

there is no pleasure greater than drinking coffee in bed with a tiny dog and a beautiful woman

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Naomi 🌊 @sultrybarista.bsky.social · 10/09/2025

just wanted to let everyone know that I am, critically, out of both of my tom ford cherry fragrances and am accepting sephora gift cards until conditions improve