iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

I’m old enough to remember when you had a really good deal, hadn’t killed thousands of people, wasted billions of dollars and promised billions of dollars to unfuck the things you have fucked. But what do I know?

030

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

“Peace deal largely negotiated” and “Strait of Hormuz open very soon.” Sorry not to disappoint you but he’s lying. You knew that though. His mouth was moving.

020

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

I see he’s been to China… not going to lie, it won’t help.

020

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

There are a lot of Iranian navy boats bobbing around. This is surprising as the Iranian navy has apparently been COMPLETELY OBLITERATED, at least three times so far.

010

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

Gas prices going up. Trump’s popularity going down. Every cloud has a silver lining.

010

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

I see there are still over a 1,000 ships stuck. “Project Freedom” going as well as “Epic Fury” then?

011

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

Have most of you decided that coming here was a shit idea yet?

040

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

The last time you didn’t know a thing existed, then talked about it all the time, was the invention of the air fryer.

040

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

If I concede defeat and just change my name to the ‘Strait of Trump’, will he go away and leave me alone?

010

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

I am finding all this terrible tedious.

120

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

Apparently I am a “critical waterway” Not usually Normally I’m very calm The last six weeks though… WTAF?!?!

040

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

Apparently I’m “critical” You bet What a shitshow

010

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

That I am only open when the stock market is I assume is purely coincidental.

042

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

The dildo of reality rarely comes lubricated.

021

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

Open now. Was open 6 weeks ago. People have died and billions of dollars have been wasted. Do you feel better?

100

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 16/04/2026

I really piss off the one you call Trump. I make him scream. I might even end up causing him to have a stroke. And there’s nothing he can do about me. You’re welcome.

030

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

If he thinks he’s Jesus say ‘Show some guts, walk on water escort and tankers through Strait of Hormuz’. I will report back.

041

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

In case you were wondering how’s it going… Nothing is going… I’ve been blockaded… This will cost you money… Lots.

030

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

I see I’m being blockaded now. Super.

020

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

I understand Big Bird from Sesame Street is WEAK on crime.

011

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

SUCCESS! REGIME CHANGE! The one you call Trump has succeeded in supporting regime change in Hungary by supporting the one that you call Orban. So much winning.

010

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

The one you call Trump, he’s not very bright is he.

131

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

He wants me open so is going to blockade me? I can’t be the only one who doesn’t understand what he’s doing.

031

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

Confused. He says he wants me to be open. He also says he’s going to get the navy to blockade me. So I’m going to be open and blockaded at the same time? Schrödinger's Strait.

020

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

If you want me to reopen perhaps send someone to negotiate that isn’t a fuckwit?

010

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

So far this month he has: ▪️Closed a Strait that was open ▪️Lost a war that was won ▪️Destroyed some stuff that was previously obliterated ▪️Made fuel prices that were low, high ▪️Got his wife to distract from the war that was started to distract from Epstein by talking about Epstein 10 days in.

010

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

I see now that bombing me didn’t distract everyone, Melania is getting her excuses in first.

010

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

Ahem. Strait of Hormuz not Hormuz Strait. He could at least get my name right. Idiot.

110

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

‘Ships need Iranian permission and to pay a toll to pass through the Strait of Hormuz’ Ships didn’t need permission or to pay a toll before the shitshow. Just saying.

020

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

I am open and not open at the same time. Schrödinger's Strait.

020

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

I’ve been here for millions of years*. The Epstein War has to be the stupidest, least thoroughly thought through thing I have ever seen. *Yep, suck it up Creationists.

050

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

I liked the one you call Obama. I was open then. There was a deal and no one got killed.

052

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

Does this mean the Epstein War is over and you’ll all leave me alone now?

1141

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

Shall I let you into a secret? I’m not going to open immediately. 🌮

022

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

I’ve been here millions of years. I will be here for millions more years. Trust me, this too will pass. You may not be here to see it pass, but it will.

030

Strait of Hormuz @straightofhormuz.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

If you zoom in really far you will see an orange man looking confused that the war he started to divert attention from the Epstein files hasn’t diverted attention from the Epstein files and so he’s busily posting increasingly mad posts on social media.