iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 09/08/2026

bit awkward reappearing with no revelation, no exciting secret ventures, etc... no idea how to answer "where have you been?!"

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 19/05/2026

I'm here. I don't wonder as often anymore how I'll get through the day; I just know I probably will, even if I don't want to.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 20/04/2026

My floofreader is sleeping on the job...

small maltese dog sleeping with tiny head resting on a red book, atop two blankets, on a bed that holds another book and a keyboard

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 07/04/2026

If I could talk to young me, obviously other things would take priority but somewhere down the list would be: War and Peace is very long, and life is not. It's okay if you don't finish reading it.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 27/03/2026

And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if indeed.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 20/03/2026

sometimes courage takes a LOT of rage.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 12/03/2026

sometimes courage really does take a little rage.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 06/03/2026

Sometimes I feel so scared of dying that I just want to get it over with. There must be people who can relate or even just understand; I wish there were a socially acceptable way to find out.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 04/03/2026

Has anyone found a good alternative to the saying about eating an elephant one bite at a time (taking things in small steps)? I find the idea helpful but hate the imagery it evokes.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 03/03/2026

You know it's time to reprioritize when tasks are marked as urgent, URGENT, and URGENT!!!

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 23/02/2026

"fake it 'til you make it!" ok quick question: how do i fake it

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 21/02/2026

In watching others experience parenthood, I've noticed they can get SO GOOD at optimism. My friends want a baby babble translator so their infants can say "I love you" — but I tend to think what's being yelled in Baby might be closer to "RETURN ME TO NONEXISTENCE" and "NO NO NO NO NO!!!"

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 18/02/2026

it's silly how much bravery this takes for me or how insurmountable it feels, but I'm trying now to ask for support without running away. even if I think I "failed"' their support or I hide anyway, I think I'll try showing back up, even asking again. believing all these people loving me out loud.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 11/02/2026

to teenage me: you know that feeling when you KNOW you're being so so annoying but can't seem to stop? you're not the only one; many teens feel that way and grow out of it! not you, though, so get used to it. 🩷

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 10/02/2026

it's not so much that I sometimes lie when I say "no worries" — more so that I don't clarify when it's short for "nothing but worries"

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 29/01/2026

The thing about grief is that it doesn't get easier with practice. I worked in hospice and end-of-life ICUs for years and stopped a while back, but this morning I unexpectedly cried at my desk upon learning of a former patient's death. Sometimes it just... really hurts.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 27/01/2026

I love being right. "to prove a point" is reason enough to motivate me. but when it comes to my self-image vs how loved ones see me, I hope life makes of me an ignorant fool.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 08/01/2026

I ordered something via DoorDash today and 😭😭😭

Messages with DoorDash delivery person:
DoorDash (DD): The Dasher is nearby but might be having trouble finding you. Send them more details to help them deliver your order.
Hey it's a big raccoon by your door.
me: Omg!!
DD: Yeah it's still there and chased me (laugh-cry emoji)
I'm afraid to deliver it
Me: I just opened the door and didn't see it

Me: I believe you though bc I hear them running on the roof sometimes!!
And I think it opened my trash bag
DD: Probably moved because it was chasing me (laugh-cry emoji)
me: Do you want me to come find you?
DD: I'll try again but I'm scared
Coming now

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 05/01/2026

I don't (and prob won't) understand what anyone thinks they accomplish by telling me "You can't help that you're not pretty. But you CAN choose not to be ugly. You just need discipline." Kind =/= nice, but that feels very much like it's neither.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 02/01/2026

I love your handwriting!!

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 02/01/2026

May 2026 be much kinder to us. I don't want to forget or stop carrying the grief of 2025, but I hope the weight of it won't be so heavy anymore.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 02/01/2026

🫂 words are inadequate but just want to send you so much support. I feel this grief and anger with you, esp working in health care

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 31/12/2025

it's just a day. I don't need to feel panic and guilt. nothing has to change. I can forgive who I am and who I couldn't become. ...right?

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 31/12/2025

but like, what do you do with the two wolves inside you when everyone around you is a cat person?

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 29/12/2025

your life is not ruined, and neither are you.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 28/12/2025

If I can't be happy I'm alive, I can at least be happy that others are.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 24/12/2025

I'm hearing talk about a baby? Just one? If this guy's on our side, we've got great odds.

Twitter exchange.
Liz Wheeler: So churches are not essential... but abortion clinics ARE essential. Got it.
crookedroads770: Yes because abortion is healthcare, glad I could clear that up for you vol_long: 600,000 babies a year would disagree with you
crookedroads770: I could easily win a debate against 600,000 babies

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 24/12/2025

“Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?” “Definitely raining,” Officer Rudolph replies before walking off. The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 24/12/2025

A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. “I think it’s raining,” says the man. “No, it’s snowing,” replies the woman. “How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!” exclaims the man...

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 24/12/2025

weirdly this is something I've said to my therapist

Helen Kingston @kingstonwrites
I wonder if the Virgin Mary was ever like, you can just call me Mary there's no need

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 23/12/2025

I'd argue that there's a sixth type: "we're not sus I swear" hey what's up guys— uh *frantic whispers* SIMPLY HAVING A WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME

BrendanCByrne:
the 5 types of xmas songs:
- look, snow!
- i want shit
- santa's horny
- let's all get schnackered
- the birth of christ has ushered in a new age and no man shall taste eternal death

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 23/12/2025

ok for anyone who likes to laugh, here's a random drop of Christmas posts I've saved

AndrewNadeau0 on Twitter
Mary: Well, I just had a baby... in a barn.
So, thanks to everyone who brought gifts. The gold, the perfumes. All things babies love
Also the child who inexplicably played drums, like, right in my face.
This.... this was great.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 23/12/2025

these kinds of posts always make me ugly-cry if I let myself pause because it's like... Bob... you don't even know but you're about to have such a good life 😭🩷

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 22/12/2025

Christmas Shoes and Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah do NOT belong on holiday playlists imo, unless what you're going for isn't so much "merry" as it is "death humbles us all"

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 22/12/2025

I play "spotted in the bookstore" too with publishing friends for anything they've worked on! It's so fun to see others doing the same 😄

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 22/12/2025

I'm not sure what IS fair, tbh. my (ex-)close friend said "I haven't decided how much space I need in the wake of your attempt" & that even being my friend is above and beyond what anyone would do. I was so so sorry and guilty, but other friends were horrified when I eventually told them about him.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 22/12/2025

and I'm not saying that's the point. I'd still have depression even if I weren't a burden to the people I love. but like, you can leave whenever you're sick of me. I can't.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 21/12/2025

"you've been suicidal for so long and it's exhausting for us" I can't possibly emphasize enough how WELL AWARE of this I already am.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 18/12/2025

I know AI isn't a monolith and it's not all generative, but this is an astoundingly poor choice of topic given the CONTEXT of AI usage in publishing. Yes, AI is already here, but there's a reason we're not celebrating.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 17/12/2025

This is going to sound so so so ungrateful and it is, but I wish people would stop trying to save my life and just listen.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 16/12/2025

🫂 Not for lack of trying, but it helped to know I wasn't the only one trying it—and to find humor and comfort in that, when possible:

Four-panel comic showing person at church hearing pastor say "Love your neighbor as yourself." Outside her house, she greets her neighbor and says "hello neighbor, you fucking moron, you worthless piece of human shit"

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 16/12/2025

It's not a nickname. No one else has ever called him Fred. They can't think of any Fred they might've met back then. My parents have NO IDEA where they got Fred. (Neither does Nathan/not Fred, who says he "just didn't mind" but I suspect was feeling extremely awkward.)

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 16/12/2025

Y'all... ok so Fred is one of my parents' oldest friends, like 20+ years. RECENTLY they were chatting with his wife (he'd stepped out) and my dad mentioned some quirk of Fred's. His wife was like "Who's Fred?" Turns out his name is NOT FRED. It has never been remotely similar to Fred. It's Nathan. 😭

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 15/12/2025

I worked myself deep into a spiral and didn't go. Trying not to stay in it. If self-loathing was ineffective at forcing me into action, it's very unlikely to help now.

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Stephi Cham @stephicham.com · 14/12/2025

How do you make yourself attend social events when you consistently dread them, even ones you'd enjoy? Is it worse, with depression, to self-isolate or to go through the monumental effort? (This isn't rhetorical; trying to force myself out the door and considering giving up)

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Reposted by Stephi Cham

Selene Kirsten Heidlman @selene-heidlman.story-circle.link · 12/12/2025

This thread really captures it, and deserves far wider coverage than it’s gotten. Thank you, @stephicham.com, for opening up and sharing your experience here!

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