iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Idk, man, I'm just so stressed and frustrated despite nothing serious even happened. Once again, I feel like I'm in a cage. No time for anything. Even the things I have to do.

Fortunately, nothing I have to do now is very urgent, but I feel extremely embarrassed to message my clients several times postponing the update/delivery date because life decided that I can't take a break now. This is my first time failing so many people at once and it feels terrible.

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My plan was to finish ALL due art before October specifically because I knew I would have no time, but this stupid cold gave me so much fatigue and brain fog that I could do nothing for around two weeks and now I'm literally fucked.

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Where did my time go today and why was I unpacking and tidying for the whole day? I didn't do all art I promised to deliver today, I didn't do my homework and I'm kind of in panic because of how little time and how many responsibilities I have.

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The fact that all of this to some extent stems from mommy issues... if in doubt, write about the character's relationship with their mom.

#lightensnared Amarantha: the world would hate her if it knew her true nature (+a whole list that wouldn't fit into one post). Alastor: not everything has a grand purpose. #silveryshroud Ivraelle: her truth is lesser than everyone else's. Wrath: she can't be a good person without external approval.

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On the bright side: I finished my classes early today and by 12:30 I had already been home. Since then I'm fighting for my life trying to unpack my backpack and bags and clean my room. I'm almost done and I'll be relieved of heavy physical work for the next week or so.

I'm so glad I didn't sign up for to work in the lab. I would collapse both mentally and physically. I don't need their money that much (I had an opportunity to apply for a higher-paying job, but art STILL pays be much better for much less time).

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Or, alternatively, take away my "getting drained after 2 hours of doing anything" type of autism, because I can't function at all. I see my d&d group chatting on our server and I'm so sad I can't participate despite, in theory, having a free afternoon.

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Iskra @stellartombs.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I didn't appreciate working 3–6 hours a day at home creating art, because I felt so tired. Now I'm back at uni, attending 6 hours of classes daily on the campus, socializing, and taking care of the housework all by myself and there is no life energy left in me. Zero. Give me my freelance job back.

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Having a lot of doubts today... too much talking to people.

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Isn't learning one of the coolest things ever? Isn't having access to so many sources of knowledge or simply other people's perspectives so exciting? Why aren't you using it???

Each time I go outside of my bubble of well-informed people, the ignorance frustrates me so much. I am always ready for blatant prejudice, but I can't grasp how many genuinely well-meaning people DO NOT SEEK opportunities to learn about experiences of those who live different lives.

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I don't even mean whole books! Articles, blog posts, longer discussions, longer videos, anything longer than 30 seconds/3 sentences.

I was annoyed that people outside of neurodivergent/disabled communities don't engage in any in-depth material that contains more nuance and covers more cases, and instead they rely only on short forms which rubbed some of their hidden curiosity (in best case) or prejudice (in worst case).

I would probably just shrug this off if I didn't see a conversation surrounding neurodiversity and mental health earlier today, where clearly the participants gained all of their knowledge by watching sort-form videos that could even not be wrong, but still ignored nuance because of their length.

I didn't think I could be so annoyed by this comment and yet, here we are. I'm not going to engage with this person any further on this subject. I don't think they are queerphobic, but just so ignorant that they need to do their homework first, and I hope they will one day.

You don't have to be an expert on all social issues, but seriously, you could at least listen when others speak about their experience and not try to make yourself such a good person by showing how you literally don't care. 💅

People don't consider you safe. Maybe you are well-intentioned, but you clearly took no time to educate yourself on queerness and taking about it with you feels like a chore rather than interesting conversation.

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Maybe because you don't listen and seem averse to nuance and deep understanding of the issues that do not affect you directly, just guessing. It's impossible to know someone quite well and never have an honest conversation about partnership, sexuality, identity, community, etc.

Yes, I've got this phrase as a response to an argument about cishet people knowing tons of queer people but never noticing the queerness, because queer people stay closeted fearing for their safety. If you don't know how many of your friends are queer, most of them don't trust you, period.

stereotypes and worn-out phrases like "I don't care what your are as long as your are a good person" as a thought-terminating cliche in response to arguments on staying closeted, feeling safe and being open with one's issues as a part of minority.

I've seen so much frustrating discourse about minorities (first disabilities, now queerness, especially transness) that weren't hostile, and yet so tiring to read and participate in, because some cishet able-bodied people LOVE using

Iskra @stellartombs.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Talking about queerness with people who are very outside of the community, to the point of not understanding basic concepts and mechanisms despite being (in theory) well-intentioned, is very very hard. (I'm literally giving up).

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These are stunning, not only as reference images, but also as photographs themselves. The lighting and composition on each are top-notch. 💙 I'd love to reference some of them when I have more free time, though!

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Iskra @stellartombs.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I always underestimate how much chaos in my monthly schedule a cold can introduce... I'm feeling much better physically (mentally I'm still a mess though) but I'm two weeks behind with work.

Iskra @stellartombs.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

This time it's queerplatonic, because the female character is simultaneously discovering she's not into men, but every time I think about one of the major plot moments I can't stop blushing and making happy noises because they still do care about each other.

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Iskra @stellartombs.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Divorced/separated characters finding out they still love each other may be one of MY tropes... (yes, I'm doing it again)

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Iskra @stellartombs.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

SHE'S SO EVIL. I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

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Iskra @stellartombs.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

DM of my previous campaigns got in touch with me and invited me to play a short campaign. 🥳 My TTRPG luck is coming back. I already have an idea for a character (another milf incoming, this time EVIL), but I'm still waiting for more details about the premise.

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I have 10+ drawings in my queue and next week I'm going back to uni. Reflecting on my recent failure with lizard prequel, I know long breaks while drafting a novel are destructive to me. I don't know what to do. Nobody I talk to seems to understand my overthinking or at least the level I experience.

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I'm so tired. I've been working on my projects and art for so long almost non-stop (all breaks were caused by heavy periods at uni, which is far from resting). I think I need to take a month or so to just relax, read, and play games. But I can't.

I vented about it to a friend and now I feel even worse. Every time I make a creative decision, I second-guess it. I genuinely don't understand how people either don't experience it at all, or are able to silence that voice and finish the bigger projects. I've never been able to.

Writing and art have been so painfully frustrating recently. Nothing* is turning out as I want it to. Nothing lives up to my expectations. *I always end up quite happy with comms, but the amount of time they've been taking recently because of the heavy self-imposed edits...

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Iskra @stellartombs.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I'm so emotional about one of my lizard characters dying and about all context behind this, and about all meanings behind this, but I can't tell anything because of major spoilers. This creature is very flawed, and yet deserves so much better. My artistic vision for this project can be ruthless. :(

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Today they created a no-AI rule regarding all content posted on the server. I thought about submitting a ticked, but didn't. My thoughts reached the admins anyway, lol.

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they're, I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO EDIT POSTS.

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I'm not even speaking about commissioning artists, because it's a whole other beast (that is very related, yes, but brings much more issues into that). Still, there are so many free/low cost alternatives, especially in these cases, where the designs are never very specific and crazy.

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My "favorite" examples of art theft are people writing contemporary fiction and stealing/generating images of modern humans that can be easily created and customized in picrews or, idk, The Sims 4 base game for FREE.

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It's definitely a "going out of my information bubble" issue, but I would expect more from creatives. There are many people who think similarly, of course, but most people are just numb and... enabling? They are VERY happy to see human art, but stolen or generated images are an acceptable default.

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Everyone agrees that using genAI to write a book is bad and laughable, but getting some free "art" (lmao) or doing "research" (lmao even harder) is a great idea. Stealing someone's writing is bad, but an image?

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If someone took their work and posted it without permission and credit, they would be upset. Why doesn't this respect for authorship extend to visual art? Is the fact that visual art is seemingly faster and easier to consume make it less worthy of credit?

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These people seem to be somewhat aware that what their doing is not as great as posting images they have rights for, but most of them are genuinely not aware (and not concerned) how frowned upon it is in art communities.

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This is usually done in threads dedicated to their works, which are kind of "safe spaces" to discuss ideas without judgement, so I don't want to police people there. I voice my criticism for this practice in other channels. I know some of them read it, but they seem to never take it seriously.

I'm on a really nice and supportive Polish writing server, but it's upsetting how many people just use random pictures found on Pinterest, without permission or even any credit except "image from Pinterest", to picture their characters or settings.