Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I hope the White Sox visit Vatican City instead of the White House when they win the World Series 010
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 26/08/2026What do mean Jacob Elordi is 6’5”? Hollywood would have you believe he is 7 ft tall. 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Oh wow, you’re kids just started 5th Grade? So cool! Me? Oh well, I got too drunk last night and now if I take too deep a breath I poop myself. 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Your mid 30s are wild. Like what do you mean my friend’s wife I had to drunkenly carry out of a bar is now an Elementary School Principal. 010
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Hollywood would have you believe Jason Segel is a giant. Bro is 6’4” 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 27/07/2026I want to go to one of those tasting menu restaurants dressed as the Michelin Tires mascot. I wonder if they would treat me special. 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Sahara is the wildest fucking movie what the fuck 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Single in your 30s means getting high off gummies then gossiping with moms at your Nephew’s birthday party while you kill a pitcher of beer. 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Do you think anyone can top Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows? 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 08/06/2026Depression is crazy cause it will just be like “Hey, hope you’re having a good day… hey do you remember the saddest thing that ever happened to you in your life? Man that was crazy. Well, see you later!” 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 22/04/2026media.tenor.coma woman is standing in front of a crowd of people in a bar with a sign that says one on it .ALT: a woman is standing in front of a crowd of people in a bar with a sign that says one on it . 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 25/09/2025In these trying times there is only one thing that can unite this Great Nation… The Rock-scar 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 14/09/2025media.tenor.coma man wearing a hat and sunglasses is sitting in a crowd and smiling .ALT: a man wearing a hat and sunglasses is sitting in a crowd and smiling . 010
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 14/09/2025DJ Lagway with a Rex Grossman-like performance 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 02/03/2025JOHN CENA HEEL TURN!!!! THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL!!!! 000
Reposted by Jonathan MonteThe Onion @theonion.com · 06/12/2024FDA Recommends Adding Little Tabasco To That Bad Boy theonion.com/fda-recommen... 424804476
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 03/08/2023Is the trump indictment dropping the same day as the Lizzie lawsuit the new Barbenheimer? 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 01/08/2023A coworker at work just tried to tell me Traditional Italian Cacio e pepe should not have cheese… 🤌🤌🤌 000
Jonathan Monte @statboymonte.bsky.social · 22/07/2023Not many people know this, but a sleeping Basset Hound weighs about as much as a small Sun 020
