iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I made it through security. I should be good. A short layover in Zurich will add some excitement

Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Luckily, my first day was most just supposed to be recovery. So this won't change much about my actual trip. And im all packed.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Got a new flight tonight. Fingers crossed everything works out

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

The helpline had hung up on me 8 times. If I dont get an email reply soon, by this afternoon, I think ill have to cancel my trip. I am gutted

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Me too. British Air was very nice about it. But I need to confirm a visa before I can rebook. So im waiting.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

At least I was at BWI and not Dulles.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I have not cried yet. But there is a good chance I will cry soon. I am back home and juat emailed the indian visa people because in a shocking turn of events the phone and online chatbots were unhelpful.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Despite an email saying my visa was approved. It's not showing up in the system. So I can't board.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I am officially on vacation. I am ready.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Saw an older white man walking yesterday wearing a shirt that said " I don't like to brag about expensive trips but I did juat come back from the grocery store" and felt i needed to share that tidbit.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Inheriting a problem that you didn't create doesn't mean it's not your problem.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

But the work is yours to do. And I dont think anyone expects everything fixed overnight. The people who dont own the hotels can't make the changes. So yes, all men (or whatever group owns the problem). No one is free til we're all free.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Homophobia, antisemitism, Islamophobia, xenophobia, pick a systemic issue and apply it. The people suffering can call out the problem, maybe you just didn't see it. But once you know about it, it is your job to fix it. And that doesnt mean it has to be perfect.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Its all men because you guys inherited the patriarchy and its fine for you and it's always been that way. But women can't fix a hotel that doesn't belong to us. We can call out the issues, but it has to be you. Same thing for racism, white people have to fix it.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

You're not a wheelchair users and you don't have any problems accessing the hotels. But once you see the problem and how its hurting people, you should try to fix it to make it accessible.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

So sure, there is some responsibility of the wheelchair users to say, hey that's fucked up, fix your hotels. But at the end of the day, its youre peoblem and you're the one who has to do the work to make your hotels better for wheelchair users.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

And make it harder for them to use them. Stairs everywhere, uneven floors, no ramps or elevators. Now eventually you inherit the hotels. You dont hate wheelchair users, but the hotels have always been this way and its going to take work to change them to be accessible.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

So I saw a great metaphor for why systemic issues are a problem for the people who benefit from the system to fix, and I thought I'd share. Imagine your granddad owned a bunch of hotels but absolutely hated wheelchair users so all of his hotels were designed to exclude them

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The average woman in a relationship spends an extra 7 hours a week on household chores than if she was single. That's almost an entire workday. Men need to step up.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Also, I want you all to know that this is not enough. I want you to look at your partners and actually try to evenly distribute the invisible labor. I want you to call out men who dont. I want you to call out when men talk over women at meetings. I want you to stand up and support women in every way

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

This is what I want to hear every man say and then I want them to do it.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

So, I've been crashing out all day over the Cornell 7. And I think the thing that hurts most is that they felt it was okay to send a rape text to a group chat. And they were right. And Im so fucking tired of trying to convince men that women are people.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The ones who say "you're overreacting" The ones who dismiss women's pain. The ones who think they are owed something for being a "nice guy" The ones who would never watch women's sports Not all men, just those ones and all the ones like them. So yeah, pretty much all men.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The ones who ask "what was she wearing" The ones who say "it was just a joke" The ones who say "but youre so much better at this stuff" The ones who ask the woman in a meeting to get coffee or take notes when it's not her job. The ones who aren't present. The ones who dont study women's health

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The ones who are successful and ambitious at work but need a mom or a manager at home. The ones who can't make or remember plans without their partner. The ones who don't take ownership of household chores. The ones who dont know if the house is low on toothpaste or the name of the pediatrician

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Not all men, just the 7 that drugged her and raped her. And the ones in the group chat who did nothing. And the judges and administrators who "dont want to ruin a promising life" The ones who dont call out bad comments or bad behavior. The ones who dont call our bad partners.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I want more men to be outraged. I want more men to call each other out. I want men to be better.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

This Cornell 7 stuff hurts my soul. But I am seeing a lot of angry men on my Insta calling out other dudes and I guess that's progress. I guess.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Obviously everyone could probably be better at this. But in my experience, the guys I've dated who know all the feminist stuff aren't demonstratably better at putting these things into action.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Learning about things is important. But the second step where you take the things you learn and apply them to yourself so you can be better is even more important. Change is hard work.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I feel like a lot of dudes know the feminist talking points and think they will be equal partners but have never actually taken the time to internalize this so they can actually be better men and not just dudes with good talking points.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I recently hung out with a dude who had clearly done little self reflection in his life but was recently called out as being a man child, took the criticism to heart, and talked about wanting to do better. On one hand, dude is in his 40, WTF? On the other, it was nice to see growth.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Im in decent shape. But not hike to base camp shape. And im spending a week in India before going to Nepal and this seems like a better use of my time than struggling to train and hike. No shade to hikers, but im a water girlie.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

My family friends did it a few years ago when they went to hike (not Everest) in Nepal a few years ago. Apparently October and November are the best time to go because there is the least smog.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

No. Just doing a flight around the mountain. The idea of hiking for a week at altitude to get to base camp is not appealing to me. I am doing a tiger safari in India though!

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Also booked a food tour for when Im back in Delhi for a couple days after Nepal. Im so excited about this trip.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Everest flight booked. Yes. I probably should have done this earlier. But whatever. Its booked now and I am so excited.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Yesterday, he jokingly (i hope) told me I had ruined a bunch of his male friendships because he can't stop seeing how much more work his friends' wives/partners do in a relationship.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

A couple years ago I was explaining to my guy friend one of the reasons im single is that its hard to find a guy who wants to be an actual partner and not just offload a bunch of the executive functioning on me. I mentioned thats what I see on a lot of relationships, especially ones with kids.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I sympathize with people's parking concerns. But when it comes to bike lanes there is no argument you can make for me to care more about your inconvenience finding a place to store your private property on public land than I care about my own safety and physical wellbeing as a cyclist.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I honestly find it hard to believe that people care deeply about parking issues when they buy giant cars, SUVs, and trucks.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I made it through one hour of the bike meeting before I gave up. Apparently its happening, and I am for it however that comes to pass.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Reminds me it is time to refill my Vitamin D prescription. 😢

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

If he brings Old Bay and just puts it in everything, he will have won my vote. Like he tried something and then immediately after says that wad great but it need something and whips out a can I will die.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Can someone on Van Hollen's team make sure he knows how to eat all the regional foods in a way that is not super weird or offputting?

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Not having to rub it in and get it on my hands is apparently what makes the difference. Definitely recommend if you dont like the way lotion feels on your hands. Just apply it lightly though, otherwise it feels thick in your skin.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I have a lot of sensory issues. It turns out that buying face moisturizer in stick form means that I actually use it and my skin is happier for it. Am I basically putting a giant chap stick on my face, yes. Whatever, it helps.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Do I want to vote for an old white man for president? No. Will I enthusiastically pull the lever for Van Hollen? Probably. Do I think he should be the Senate majority leader and not president? Definitely.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Turns out I wasn't sad. I just needed to get laid.

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Starry @starkissed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I guess it's good to realize that walking red flags with visibly defined abs continues to be my greatest weakness.

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