iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Your old friends miss you too, even the ones you haven't spoken to in years

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Everything would be easier if you were here

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I'm incredibly stupid, I hate myself, I miss you

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No one should be dealing with grief for this long! It's almost two months, get a grip you dumb bitch!

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I hate everything I want to hurt myself just so I can externalise this pain Fuck everything

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YOU SHOULD BE HERE WITH ME! We should be talking about the sharks, the knights, anything! You should be here and you're not!

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So I finally got in the anger stage Hun?! I hate this, I hate everything!

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I hate that I'm happy I shouldn't be happy, why would I be happy? You're not here!

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They all talk like they knew you But they don't I didn't eve knew you like that to say those things about you

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Life is horrible Life is not worth it

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I want to talk to someone that won't tell me to think about college, or what to do in the next months I want to just scream and cry and beg

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Stella @starielady.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

I'll try for the rest of the month If can't do it anymore, I'll quit my job And after that If I can't continue doing it I'll send myself into a mental facility

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Went to see a doc today Talked about you Felt good to let some of it out Like someone was validating my pain

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Stella @starielady.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

This is not healthy I need to get myself into a mental hospital or I'll hurt myself

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Stella @starielady.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

Can't kill myself, my cat depends on me Can't put my friends through all that again Just have to endure it

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The kids will see right through me, they will know and I'll cry in front of them

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I don't think I'm in the right conditions to work

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Maybe I don't want to kill myself Maybe I just want attention

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I don't think I'm really depressed Maybe this is all for show and I'm just being dramatic

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I want sunflowers on my casket and some at my grave, I want to be cremated and my friend can have some of my ashes if they wish I don't want anyone telling people that I was an angel, tell my flaws and be kind to me too

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When I go, please remember me softly, brashly, loud, happy

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I'm this close to killing myself I'm not even joking anymore

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Please tell your friends that you love them You never know when it will be too late

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I want to forget this pain

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Gotta tell boss lady that I'm so depressed that I can't work, can't sleep, can't do anything

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Wish you were here, cuz I feel alone

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Is my ADHD? The depression? The suicidal tendencies? The grief? Something is making me not being able to do anything

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I don't want to blame grief for not getting work done I don't But I don't know how to function anymore

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I read that when we die, the human brain remembers all your happy moments for seven minutes or so I hope I'm at least a second Because you'll be in mine

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That stupid sport book saga with the foxes, heated rivalry and hockey Those will always remind me of you

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Sometimes I think that all of this is a sick lie That she lied to everyone and you're just at the hospital, like last time I want to be a lie I still cannot accept that you're gone

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