Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I don’t wanna know the truth! We both know it was your fucking fault either way! 100 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Did you hear about the guy who streaked in a church? They caught him by the organ. 100 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026If Butters and Scott are willing to give Linda a chance, then I guess I am too. I can see that she really regrets her bad decisions and wants to redeem herself. Stephen was a terrible influence on her, and he put her and Butters through so much abuse. 000 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. 210 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026They’ll hurt him again. I know it. People like that never change. 000 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026To say that I hate Cartman would be an understatement. 000 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! JUSTICE FOR BUTTERS! 013 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Of all the stupid things Cartman has done, this is his masterpiece! This takes the fucking cake! 010 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026If Butters’ party is at Casa Bonita, should we take all of his presents there? He’ll wanna open them during his party. 111 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 04/09/2026You would rather play a fucking football game than attend Butters’ birthday? Do you care how much that’s gonna upset him? 100 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026Butters will be impressed. I didn’t think my idea would work. 100 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Why was Dracula kicked out of art college? He could only draw blood. 110 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 30/07/2026What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say when he saw Darth Vader again? “Nice suit, must have cost you an arm and a leg.” 100 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 30/07/2026How did Anakin Skywalker kill Mace? He threw him out of the Windu. 100 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 29/07/2026I came up with the fishsticks joke. Period. It’s not even a debate. 120 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 26/06/2026I’m gonna get us some drinks. What would everybody like? 100 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 26/06/2026This is what life is really all about. Having fun with our friends. Don’t you think? 210 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 10/06/2026// I don’t like Russell T. Davies anymore. He completely screwed us Doctor Who fans over. 000 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 10/06/2026If Butters doesn’t wanna apologise to Craig, you shouldn’t force him. 000 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 09/06/2026Why is Butters crying? Did somebody upset him? 100 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 01/06/2026Last night I had a Jurassic curry. It very hot and spicy, and it gave me a megasoreass. 020 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 23/05/2026Me and Scott are taking Butters out for the day tomorrow. 110 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 22/05/2026The French word for “seal” is “phoque”. It sounds like “fuck”. Lazy phoque, sick phoque, sick twisted phoque and dumb phoque. 010 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 18/05/2026I’m going to the airport to meet Butters and Scott. Anyone coming? 210 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 12/05/2026Where is Padme? Is she safe? Is she alright? 000 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 11/05/2026Somebody threw a Pepsi at me, but it didn’t hurt. Thank God it was a soft drink. 0289 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 10/05/2026I need your help, my little FuckBob Shitpants. 010 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 05/05/2026gofund.me/7a480cd07gofund.meDonate to Support Peter Pardo's Fight Against Brain Cancer, organized by Shirley MartinezWe are setting up this GoFundMe on behalf of our friend Peter Pardo… Shirley Martinez needs your support for Support Peter Pardo's Fight Against Brain Cancer 000 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 27/04/2026[dips his feet in the water at Stark’s Pond] 100 0
Jimmy Valmer @standupjimmy.bsky.social · 25/04/2026// If you’re easily offended, don’t watch Love Thy Neighbour. Luckily, I have a sense of humour. 100 0