iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 2h

I can relate. He seems far more elegant than I, though. Way less eye crackers, and I'm unable to see his breath so it probably smells better and isn't flammable.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 2h

Maybe the main thing that would keep me from listing the 'Mats is that I remember seeing videos for their songs on MTV. Damn, what a great band though. And I bet you miss the days when radio DJs used to be allowed to play what they wanted as much as I do. Now it's computerized playlists. Of shit.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 5h

I was about to suggest anything by the 'Mats or Fugazi or Husker Du, but it feels like they all get credit from People In The Know, as it were. Maybe I'm overrating their underratedness?

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 7h

It looks exhausting. He should be commended for his perseverance.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 14h

It's difficult to provide data to back up imaginary shit.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 14h

That look totally says "I don't know what you're doing wasting your time with that picture-taking thing when it's so clearly obvious that you should be blanketing me in affection instead."

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 14h

As an added bonus, it also looks pretty damn cool. So there's that too.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 14h

As your attorney I advise you to sneak in some decent Swiss cheese once in awhile just to commemorate its place as the Oh Damn I Always Forget How Good This Is Until I Eat It Again cheese.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 14h

Oh I can't possibly imagine a scenario where this doesn't work excellently other than in every scenario I can possibly imagine but no need to worry everything will definitely go swimmingly according to what the robots have lied about

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 16h

Grateful Dead, Led Zeppelin, or Black Sabbath, depending on scheduling.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 16h

You are now quoting my full movie review of The Exorcist.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 18h

Shit. I have a limited amount of kind words available for my use and now I'm not sure I have enough left to last past Thanksgiving. Luckily I've never been filmed, but if I was facing those circumstances I think my first thought would be "remember you're human, and act accordingly." Instinct is OK.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 18h

Just going with ones that would be realistic, so I'm omitting anyone dead before I was ten. I'd choose James Brown, and actually had the opportunity but I saw him the night before and The Hardest Working Man in Show Business is not hyperbole. So I knew he was tired, and it felt inappropriate to ask.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 18h

His performance in Bad Santa must one of the most underrated ever.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 18h

@thenickshook.bsky.social Just dropping in to say that was a real pro move on the podcast when Gregg momentarily dropped out. Most would probably panic, but you took it in stride. As Ian MacKaye has written, silence is a dangerous sound. Silence in a podcast is the entertainment version of death.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 18h

Holy shit that's not even fair. That combined adorability could peel the paint off an aircraft carrier and spank its ass with a wicker swingset.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 19h

If that's your dog I have no idea how you can ever muster the energy required to even exit the house other than for walkies. I'd be calling in to work permanently sick because I couldn't bear leaving that face.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 20h

In Jerrah's defense, do you know how incredibly difficult it is to make wise personnel decisions with a bellyful of Walker Blue? Bland is super skilled at falling down, and perhaps Jerrah had just enough bourbon brain happening to think he was hiring a stuntman when he signed the check.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 21h

It just now occurred to me that two of the greatest talents to come from Georgia both had James Brown listed as their names on their birth certificates. There's no point to this observation; I just wanted to record it for posterity.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 21h

I disagree. Based upon my independent investigation, I'm pretty damn sure it's actually just a cardboard box.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 23h

Of course he knows the frequency. It's his Benzedrine.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I've never been a romantic hero. However, there is a possibility I may have led or participated in more than one instance in which an abuser was "corrected."

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

The cops are never on any side except against you. I mean that "you" in the royal sense, inasmuch the cops are almost never on any side but their own, and therefore are almost always always the enemy.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Y'know, right after I sent that post I pictured a unicorn made of snot and I definitely agree with you. Because no thanks, yuck, and yikes. Funny thing is it started as one made of boogers (not much upgrade there), but it went over the character limit.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

My intent was simply to let women know that if they're in an unsafe situation they know at least three guys who would help, whether they know it or not. Whether it's friends, coworkers, neighbors, or even random strangers, there's at least three. Men should remember that too. As a warning.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

What do you want, documentation?!? Find me a person who will willingly report to the cops saying "these guys beat me severely because I beat my girlfriend" or someone who waltzes into a cop shop saying "please arrest me for severely beating a woman abuser" and I'll show you a unicorn made of snot.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Sure, when it comes to technical skill. But what can't be taught is FEEL. I've seen and heard many guitarists cover Hendrix and never heard one sound just like him. As for the human evolution thing? Take a look around. Doesn't look too promising, does it?

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

There's a possibility I have both firsthand and secondhand (I'm ambidextrous) evidence to the contrary, and a possibility that nobody files a police report about an abuser getting punished because neither side would tattle on themselves to "authorities" who did nothing when they should have.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

If anyone doesn't know that women are human beings with feelings, hopes, dreams, and futures, and to rape them would be wrong? Then that's a lost cause, and jolly well deserving of a fucking up. Can't prevent something that already happened, but it's possible to prevent it from ever happening again.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Doesn't even have to be a woman. If a decent person needs help, there's more decent people who would be willing to help than many people realize. There's even hotlines and such built entirely around that simple concept. My message is as much a warning to men as a reminder to women.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I'm not suggesting to abandon caution. That would be silly. I'm just saying there's *way* more willing to help than most realize. Men need to realize that too, so as a PSA: HEY DUDES! IF YOU WANT TO HARM A WOMAN, REMEMBER SHE HAS AT LEAST THREE PEOPLE WHO WOULD HAPPILY FUCK YOU UP IF YOU DO!

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Correlation isn't causation. Most people (men, women, whatever) are attacked by someone they're acquainted with. That's just math. And if she's a horrible person, there's probably less people who would help. But any relatively decent person has several that would help, whether they know it or not.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

It's... assertive. Looks like it might kick your ass if you dared get up after a tackle.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

That is remarkable. His hair should have its own card, because hot damn is it ruthless.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Overstood. But I bet you know more than one, even if you don't know it. Friends and family are a given, but there's also coworkers, people at your local store, and damn near every random dude out there. More people would help than many realize.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Not all women are ladies. If a person is a raging bitch (male or female), there's always the possibility ain't nobody wants to help 'em. Like, if Trump fell in quicksand, chances are people who've known him his whole life might just look the other way and pretend they don't notice while he sinks.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

All art is subjective, but I prefer Hendrix to Satriani or Vai (an actual student/teacher relationship, as Satriani taught Vai).

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I occasionally do that. Usually about three to four times a year, sometimes five on a leap year when I forget to save 'em for later. But then I run out of relatively ok things to say by autumn, which can be a bummer when it comes to holiday dinner conversation.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

That looks like half the humans in the Trump administration. Except it's not disgusting.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I've said it many times before, but it bears reiteration. Ladies, basically every man you know would happily try to beat the everliving shit out of anyone who does you harm. Remember that.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

That is definitely a Shmubba Head. Trust me on this; I'm an expert.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I hope your Cake comes with a short skirt and a loooooooong jacket.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

It's been rumored that some people might think it funny if the nearby homeless decided to band together and burn it to the ground.

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Stagger McTipsy, AKA Captain Awesome Motherfucker @staggermctipsy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

My favorite hobby is abusing abusers. It's sick, I know. But caving in the face of some shitbag who liked pistol-whipping his lady will never get old to me. It's like cartoons; timeless and ageless joy.

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