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Oh, hey look, the US government has got themselves one of those super duper intelligence things! Hey, super and duper intelligence, I have a question for you.

A screen capture from america.gov slash chat

Conversation with America
Response ready. Sources are available. Use “Skip to latest response” to read it.
How many presidents have been convicted of felonies?
No U.S. president has been convicted in a Senate impeachment trial.

In ordinary criminal court, one president has been convicted of felonies: Donald J. Trump. A Congressional Research Service report states that on May 30, 2024, he was convicted in New York state court of 34 felony counts of falsifying business records in the first degree. That case can still be appealed.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 23h

This is the real shit. Guys: You gotta watch this. Women: if you need a chance to cheer this morning.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 26/09/2026

Oh damn, that totally explains it! Be careful not to step into any of that shit. It's horribly toxic.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 26/09/2026

For the love of... Would you all please, PLEASE make some tiny effort to learn how our government works, or doesn't work? Yes, a new Congress is consequential. No, a new Congress can't do anything like that. The Senate would have to approve, and then Trump would have to sign.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 26/09/2026

I refuse to refer to it as super intelligence. That actually means something in the field. Nope, I'm just going to call Steve. STEVEN INTELLIGENCE, STOP FUCKING HALLUCINATING AND FIX THIS SCRIPT IMMEDIATELY!

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 25/09/2026

Happy Dolly Day. Remember, you're only working 9 to 5 today. Take the rest of the day off and make sure that some rich fuck doesn't claim your labor.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 21/09/2026

As far as our new "Sniper Memorial Arch" goes, I have just one observation: Loot drop.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 21/09/2026

The worst possible measure of a Congress is how many laws get passed a year. Jesus Christ. Do you want fascism people? Because this is how you get fascism.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 20/09/2026

Well, if the vet will approve it, I just purchased eight months of meds and rush shipping for Yang. Ten days until we're unhoused, still much to do. At least DC and AC plants are functional. Should be able to get both the heater and the refrigerator wired tonight. I really need to start loading in.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 19/09/2026

If the remaining respectable media just 100% blacked out his name, just refused to use his name on anything at all. If you absolutely must use his name, call him Fuckface instead., if they did that, we would be way better off.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 16/09/2026

Dear court system that has perversely decided you need to charge a person nearly a thousand dollars to submit a form demonstrating they can't afford to continue living in their house: You know what lives at the end of metaphorical runways? Literal Longpigs.

static.klipy.com

Bugs Bunny: Just Saying

Alt: Bugs Bunny: shrugs his shoulders theatrically and walks away, exit stage right, caption is Just Saying

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 14/09/2026

Artificial intelligence is not going to wipe out humanity. Natural stupidity has that in the bag.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 13/09/2026

Woman takes medication. Cut to eight weeks later. She's in fuzzy socks under an offensively soft blanket. Dog asleep against her leg. Rain hitting the windows. Phone on Do Not Disturb. A bowl of popcorn approximately the size of a Buick sits within reach. There is a novel open

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 11/09/2026

But is his testosterone level high enough to operate it?

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 11/09/2026

So, Yang decided not to wait for me to let him out. He peed on a power strip and came back to bed. I'm laying there and I'm like, something smells really bad. Like somebody's letting the magic smoke out of electronics. I look around the bedroom and don't see anything. Yanked plugs out anyway. Came

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 11/09/2026

Jesus Christ on toasted whole wheat, can you please stop forcing your fantasy fucking space monster down my throat for two seconds? This is disgusting, not interested.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 11/09/2026

From my Sommelier de l’échec I hear the Sac 26 vintage will be magnificent. A difficult vintage initially with rather aggressive notes of insolvency and impending homelessness. But given sufficient time in the cellar, I expect the

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 08/09/2026

I fully expect the capitulating bastards who are Skydance to kill Kenny for this.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 06/09/2026

Tomorrow, probably, Kiddie recalls 24 million fire extinguishers for containing fire.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 06/09/2026

I'm going to attempt an Onion-like headline... PRESIDENT DELIVERS COHERENT POLICY ADDRESS, ANSWERS QUESTIONS ABOUT POLICY. IS FIRM BUT POLITE TO FEMALE REPORTERS. AVOIDS INSULTING ANYONE FOR FIVE FULL MINUTES, DOESN'T CALL A MAJOR NEWS AGENCY FAKE. You know, this satire's harder than it looks.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 02/09/2026

“Fuck this, I'm going to live in the desert” used to occupy roughly the same rhetorical category as “I'm joining the circus.” It was supposed to mean I have exhausted my tolerance for civilization, not I have completed a surprisingly detailed engineering analysis and determined

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 02/09/2026

Gross. Do not dare to try to give me that in change. I will cram it down your fucking throat. Fucking disgusting.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 30/08/2026

Alright, fully support this.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 29/08/2026

Okay, so... Sniffing the truck. It turns out it wasn't quite as defanged as I thought it was. Wish me luck! Going to rip that frickin' dashboard apart and figure out what's transmitting in that truck. Something is phoning home and I'm not happy.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 29/08/2026

Frankly, if we're choosing between divine providence and a disturbingly comprehensive behavioral model built from 25 years of browsing history, my money's on the behavioral model. The universe doesn't know I bought a Hamilton Beach toaster oven at 2am. The ad-tech ecosystem certainly fucking does.

Vintage painting of a of two women sitting on a couch outside one in blue and ruffles is pulling i'm pulling petals from a daisy, her bonnet in her lap. The one in midnight blue is leaning over, hand on her knee and on her back. Looking concerned.

The woman with the daisy says that the universe is giving her signs.

The second woman replies, those are targeted ads, my dear.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 29/08/2026

Your posh girl name is an obscure colour and a defunct high street shop. Mine: Puce Woolworth Sotheby's asked me to never return after that early afternoon Sherry incident [sniff]

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 28/08/2026

I am going into self-exile. Why? The United States has applied for a continuing line of moral credit. After reviewing its payment history, outstanding liabilities, recent adverse actions, and frankly alarming management decisions, we regret to inform you that the application has been declined.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 28/08/2026

@mapquest.com Tagged as requested! I hope you all go seriously viral

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 27/08/2026

Hey, Canukastani neighbors. Sorry to bother you. I know it's troublesome these days. Please officially rename Lake Ontario to Lake Epstein Files. Pretty please with sugar on it? With love from the crack-heads downstairs... 💋

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 27/08/2026

Dear Reaper: The query was very specifically WHERE age = 80. Not WHERE age >= 80, you incompetent skeletal fuck.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 27/08/2026

If he dies, will we even know? They'll just Mitch him for the next two years.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 26/08/2026

May the Fourth, Pi Day, Dolly Day. 9/25: Dolly Day comes with a perfectly defensible observance: work 9 to 5 and spend the rest of the day refusing to let some rich asshole take credit for your labor. That's practically liturgical.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 26/08/2026

The fucking Grim Reaper needs a primary challenger. I am prepared to donate to their PAC.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 25/08/2026

Fuck 2026. Whatever light was in the world just went out.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 22/08/2026

Have bill collectors? Try this: "<my name's> Phone!" Hello, is this my name? [Long uncomfortable pause] "hello! I'm...<my name's> AI personal assistant on a recorded line, how can I help you today?" Is <my name's> available to come to the phone right now? [Long pause] You would like to order

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 22/08/2026

A wonderful, traditional piece. Ironically published on a platform and technology that draws many orders of magnitude more power than AI systems, but pointing that out will get you lynched.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 16/08/2026

Let's see, my choices are believe this White House or give credibility to Iran.... Look, Iran spends a lot of time lying. I'm in a ton of time. ... Iran wins this one easy all day long

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 13/08/2026

"Bailiff, every time I ask for the handwritten notes and they're not produced, I want you to cut off some random piece of a random DOJ attorney. Entirely unrelated, this rusty old cleaver is my gift to you!"

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Reposted by Stabatha

Ancooties @ancooties.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Here's a BLOCK for your consideration: bsky.app/profile/free...

bsky.app

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 07/08/2026

Wow! Ours here are just filled with Fenty!

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 06/08/2026

Thank you, I needed this quote more today than I would normally.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 05/08/2026

Privacy advocates unite! ... separately, without exchanging names, coordinates, or identifying vehicle descriptions.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 31/07/2026

Can we just stop and listen to ourselves for a moment? "Every child deserves a fair court hearing"?! What the fuck is wrong with us?! Jesus Christ I'm still rooting for the global apocalypse that puts paid to us because... how? How are we even? Srsly.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 29/07/2026

> “Your privacy is our top priority.” No, it fucking isn’t. Your top priority is keeping payroll low enough that the CEO can buy another boat with a helipad.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 24/07/2026

I just had a lawyer that I fired yesterday's assistant try to be all condescending with me. That worked out poorly.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 23/07/2026

I just fired my attorney in the middle of an ongoing legal matter. I always hate to do that. Especially since I just demanded for all the monies I've paid to be refunded to me.

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Stabatha @stabatha.com · 22/07/2026

Why should limited jurisdiction stop him? It doesn't stop the Fed. Or fucktards like Paxton. NYPD reports to him, just have netanyahu arrested and then let it work itself through the court.

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