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squidpizza

@squidpizza.art
3.8K followers 4.1K following 16K posts

I'm squidpizza (26). I do all sorts of art, most of it is gay and stupid. This account is NSFW, and I'm liable to share pictures of bugs. This pfp was drawn by me Give me money at www.patreon.com/squidpizza

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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 14h
i do think ppl are undervaluing this card a bit in commander cause like. even in a 2 color deck it can draw up to six cards. (basic forest, basic island or w/e, snow forest, snow island, wastes, snow wastes) yeah snow lands and wastes dont count to domain but still. never run out of land drops.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 05/10/2026
Wrenn and Eleven
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 05/10/2026
literally not that it matters but these would have been my choices: patrick being an overcosted vanilla creature from 1994 is unfortunately inspired
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 05/10/2026
insane thing to complain about but i think this reflavor is so weak. like yeah a 1 mana 1/1 creature makes sense, phyrexian mite like. works. sure. but it has nothing to do with plankton!!! i think it should've been ashnod, flesh mechanist. the tokens could be the bucket headed guys from the movie
Skrelv, Defector Mite, a magic the gathering card, but styled to look like Plankton from Spongebob.

"Plankton" is a 1/1 legendary artifact creature - phyrexian mite for one white mana.

Plankton's rules text is as follows:

Toxic 1 (Players dealt combat damage by this creature also get a poison counter.)

Plankton can’t block.

W/P, T: Choose a color. Another target creature you control gains toxic 1 and hexproof from that color until end of turn. It can’t be blocked by creatures of that color this turn. (W/P can be paid with either W or 2 life.)Ashnod, Flesh Mechanist, a 1/1 legendary human artificer for one black mana. She has "Deathtouch

Whenever Ashnod attacks, you may sacrifice another creature. If you do, create a tapped Powerstone token. (It’s an artifact with “T: Add C. This mana can’t be spent to cast a nonartifact spell.)

5, Exile a creature card from your graveyard: Create a tapped 3/3 colorless Zombie artifact creature token."
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 04/10/2026
Well, if you insist
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 02/10/2026
Made pasta salad. Who want me
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 28/09/2026
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 28/09/2026
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 27/09/2026
This is what straight-to-gay kink should feel like imo.
The magic the gathering card Blazing Archon. It is a 5/6 Archon creature for 6WWW that has flying and “Creatures can’t attack you.”

Archons resemble masked figures which ride winged mounts (in this case a lion)

The important bit is the flavor text: “Through the haze of battle I saw the glint of sun on golden mane, the sheen of glory clad in mail, and I dropped my sword and wept at the idiocy of war.”
—Dravin, Gruul deserter
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 27/09/2026
FINAL CHAPTER!!!! GAY MONSTER GANGBANG!!! available in the usual places: www.furaffinity.net/view/66496908/ archiveofourown.org/works/900977...
GAY FRAT MONSTER MASH p8
Straight Frat Bro to Gay Monster TF
Mantcire Gangbang
3.4k words
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 26/09/2026
Reminder to self: alter of this magic card as Flowery Deltarune. +1: His perfect family — Create a 0/1… -2: Lend me your power! — Put a +1/+1 counter… -7: A flower’s dream — You gain X life…
Nissa, Voice of Zendikar, a planeswalker card
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 26/09/2026
GOT AERID KOCKSTRARI AT PRERELEASE IT WAS FORETOLD
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 22/09/2026
ordinary frog i saw in a dream
a frog but with the proportions of a spider
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 21/09/2026
pretty happy with these quick lynel portaits i did for reuploading my lynel fics to furaffinity which you can find at: www.furaffinity.net/view/66434143/
a portrait of a lynel, his horns casting much of his face in shadow.a portrait of a blue-maned lynel, his horns casting much of his face in shadow.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 21/09/2026
Seventh Chapter now available in the usual spots. A satyr and a dragon, very classic. archiveofourown.org/works/900977... www.furaffinity.net/view/66434165/
Gay Frat Monster Mash p7
-straight frat bro to gay monster tf
-satyr/dragon
-2.4k words
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 20/09/2026
I suppose it does count as committing a crime…
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 20/09/2026
Something about the way it can barely survive a battle with two fishmongers. Two fishmongers and a 2/2 Goblin Army can take it though
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 18/09/2026
It’s kind of like the monarch if you twink about it. The 2 mana snake seems pretty decent, kind of like the jankiest baleful strix of all time
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 17/09/2026
Uploading an old piece from Patreon to furaffinity and whatnot. It's supervillain x superhero enemies to divorcees seal yaoi, or something??? It's hard to describe. Experience it for yourself. www.furaffinity.net/view/66392749/
SEALING THE DEAL
sfw superhero x villain enemies to divorcees seal yaoi
3.8k words
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 16/09/2026
Oh I get it. Tam can’t get a planeswalker card cause she has to be playable as your commander. Haha.
Tam, the Possibility, a legendary Gorgon Wizard with some freaking abilities
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 16/09/2026
it has shades of Sphere of Sapience from hearthstone, which is a card that still sees play in its eternal formats. Turns out 1 mana to filter your deck even a limited number of times is just very solid.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 16/09/2026
It's clever how every school archetype likes this card (surveilling, it's an artifact, it deals damage and gains life) but it's even more clever how it frames the serious downside of the card (its limited shelf life, you can think of it almost as a vanishing card) as a reward.
Eye of Jace, a 1 mana artifact. It says "At the beginning of your upkeep, surveil 1. Then if there are seven or more cards in your graveyard, sacrifice this artifact, it deals 2 damage to each opponent, and you gain 2 life."
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 14/09/2026
Another common issue, flavor text not matching what is written as the lore for cards. The flavor text implies she betrayed Kefnet, but the "Legends of" article makes it clear that she didn't, and in fact misses him just like regular-Hapatra misses Rhonas. Unfortunate.
Excerpt from "The Legends of Reality Fracture"

"Hapatra was a devoted follower of Kefnet, until the god fell in battle against the demon Razaketh. Razaketh locked the gods who would not kneel to him behind the gate to the afterlife and blotted out Amonkhet's sun. Lost and grieving, Hapatra wandered the frigid wastes of the high desert until she found a new purpose among the snow. She heard the voices of the lost monarchs in the desert and answered their call.

She now acts as a respected vizier for the undead monarchs of the high desert. She speaks with authority and cunning, growing a base of followers with the hopeful promise of justice for Amonkhet. Her true desire is to grant a path for the undead monarchs to return to Naktamun, then rip the false god and his tyrant from their seats of power."
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 14/09/2026
I'm not quite as big a fan of her evil mirrored version from the evil mirror dimension, but it's cute how it swaps one negative counter (-1/-1) for another (stun). Apparently in this no-Bolas timeline the demon Razaketh took over instead, blotting out the sun to plunge the desert into night. Neat.
Hapatra, the Desert Frost, a 4/3 legendary Human Wizard creature for 3U. She has "When Hapatra enters, for each opponent, tap up to one target creature that player controls. Put a stun counter on each of those creatures. (If a permanent with a stun counter would become untapped, remove one from it instead.)

2U: Untap target creature."

She is an egyptian woman in a blue outfit lined with white fur, walking through a frozen wasteland while zombies attempt to climb out of the ice. Several birds flit around her.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 14/09/2026
Hapatra is great imo because in Amonkhet she's considered a venerably ancient wizened elder for being like. 35. (Life expectancy was pretty bad due to evil dragon magic, you know how it is) She is also indirectly responsible for a lot of the unsubtle references in a lot of more recent sets;
Hapatra, Vizier of Poisons, a 2/2 legendary Human Cleric creature for BG. She has "Whenever Hapatra deals combat damage to a player, you may put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.

Whenever you put one or more -1/-1 counters on a creature, create a 1/1 green Snake creature token with deathtouch."

She is a haughty-looking egyptian woman with several black snakes curled around her arms. She is flanked by two snake-headed Nagas wielding spears.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 14/09/2026
Hapatra! One of my favorite characters. I was kind of disappointed she didn't get to show up at all in Aetherdrift, but here she is. I like cards like this that function just fine in 1v1 but scale well into multiplayer formats, it gives them niches in commander without jeopardizing limited.
Hapatra, the Desert Fang, a 3/3 legendary Human Cleric creature for 2BBG. She has "When Hapatra enters, for each opponent, put X -1/-1 counters on up to one target creature that player controls, where X is the greatest mana value among cards in your graveyard."

Her art depicts an egyptian woman in a white gown surrounded by black cobras. In the background of the desert there is a monument to the fallen snake god, Rhonas.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 13/09/2026
Chapter 6, featuring a fat selkie, an ice cream date, and absolutely no sex. It's just a cute date. You'll just have to use your imagination for that part. Sorry. www.furaffinity.net/view/66356390/ archiveofourown.org/works/900977...
Gay frat monster mash p6
-straight frat bro to gay monster tf
-selkie ice cream date
-1.5k words
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 12/09/2026
When this creature dies it goes to hell
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 11/09/2026
Gruul 34 of Aerid Kockstrari the evil nonbinary sphinx from magic the gathering's upcoming set reality fracture available at your local game store starting october 2nd
Aerid Konstrari, a puppeteer sphinx from Hexhaven, the setting of magic the gathering's upcoming set Reality Fracture. They have six limbs, a pair of floating wings, four eyes, long magical tethers coming from their fingers, and an erect cock that seems to glow red.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 10/09/2026
Kind of very tempted to draw rule 34 of Aerid Konstrari the evil nonbinary sphinx from Magic the Gathering’s upcoming set Reality Fracture available at your local game store starting October 2nd.
Aerid Konstrari, a legendary creature from the upcoming Magic set Reality Fracture. They are a 4 mana red and green elder sphinx, with the ability to command large constructs called puppetbeasts. They themselves appear to be carved from wood, with eight total limbs and four eyes. Their wings are large but perforated with regular holes.
Aerid Konstrari, a legendary creature from the upcoming Magic set Reality Fracture. They are a 4 mana red and green elder sphinx, with the ability to command large constructs called puppetbeasts. In this alternative art you can more clearly see their hindquarters and the construction of their wings.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 10/09/2026
well, you know how it is
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 10/09/2026
i bet it feels good as fuck to be a bulky bug type and use rage powder and have all those big strong vgc dragons and beasts beat the shit out of you. i bet that feels awesome. 99% accurate sleep powder btw. bulkier than some fully evolved pokemon while using eviolite btw.
my fursona, sorbet, as a shiny venonat
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 08/09/2026
The negative-space Emrakul is honestly incredible
Overgrown Farmland, a reprinted land from the upcoming magic: the gathering set Reality Fracture. It depicts Innistrad and the silhouette of Emrakul
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 07/09/2026
POP QUIZ! Which of The Wandering Minstrel’s three abilities (lands enter untapped, create a 2/2 if you control 5+ towns, or give creatures +1/+1 for each town you control) is the strongest?
The magic the gathering card The Wandering Minstrel. It is a legendary 1/3 Human Bard for UG and has “Lands you control enter untapped.
The Minstrel’s Ballad — At the beginning of combat on your turn, if you control five or more Towns, create a 2/2 Elemental creature token that’s all colors.
3WUBRG: Other creatures you control get +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of Towns you control.”
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 05/09/2026
Fifth chapter available on ao3 and furaffinity. there's wrestling and hardcore anal sex, but those are mostly unrelated. archiveofourown.org/works/900977... www.furaffinity.net/view/66264641/
GAY FRAT MONSTER MASH p5
straight frat bro to gay monster tf
skulldog/ahuizotl
2.7k words
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 31/08/2026
is a robot lion okay
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 31/08/2026
whats their opinion of the fish delousing laser
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 30/08/2026
SHE WAS USED UP
Two figures mirrored before a door with red horns. One is holding a blue ring, the other a green ring. The figure has antlers. The text "SHE WAS USED UP" appears in front of them. THe entire piece has an LCD effect and is slightly glitchy.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 30/08/2026
card in the cube btw
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 30/08/2026
www.furaffinity.net/view/66198141/ archiveofourown.org/works/900977... Fourth chapter available in the usual places. Featuring minotaur and vampire bat... thing. also some mlac and vampiric domination. it's vampiric thrall rules, dude.
gay frat monster mash pv4
straight frat bro to gay monster tf
vampire bat/minotaur
1.9k words
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 29/08/2026
One one moonless night, I saw them building something from the dirt. A sculpture, unmistakable in its silhouette, even in the oppressive darkness. It looked like me.
three Endermen, pitch-black, lanky-limbed humanoids from Minecraft. They are assembling a sculpture made of blocks that is roughly humanoid in shape.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 28/08/2026
Give me attention
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 27/08/2026
personally im quite fond of this one
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 27/08/2026
The Flower of Babel
an Enderman from minecraft (a pitch-black humanoid with lanky limbs and purple glowing eyes, capable of picking up and placing certain blocks) assembling a statue of a flower. It is a starry night. There are regular flowers in the field as well.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 26/08/2026
yes, this is exactly the tablet you think it is
A "zeta edition" magic: the gathering secret lair card, depicting the clay tablet complaining about the quality of ea nasir's copper.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 26/08/2026
do you think seaking do that thing like that one pufferfish where they create beautiful complex geometric patterns in the sand.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 23/08/2026
Chapter 3 now available on furaffinity and ao3. Werewolf and ahuizotl (an Aztec mythologial creature resembling an otter or water opussum with a human hand on the end of its tail) www.furaffinity.net/view/66121429/ archiveofourown.org/works/900977...
Gay Frat Monster Mash p3
-straight frat bro to gay monster tf
-werewolf/ahuizotl
-1.8k words
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 21/08/2026
playing pathfinder for the first time in forever, gonna be doing Summoner. Capulet and Montague (or Monty). Capulet was tricked into marrying a fey lord's son during a play. Monty is... well, he's sweet, and attentive, and has no idea why his dear beloved husband insists on him wearing "Clothes."
Capulet, a human summoner. He has blonde, short hair with a streak of orange. He is wearing a green choker and a leather vest inlaid with green leaf patterns.Montague, or Monty, a beastly fey creature wearing a white mask, with an orange mane with a streak of blonde in it. He has brown fur and a bestial appearance.
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 20/08/2026
Kind of an eh photo but
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squidpizza @squidpizza.art · 18/08/2026
Oh they wanted this card *dead* dead. (Note, Confront the Tol’vir was originally printed at 3 mana!)
Confront the Tol’vir, old version. A 5 mana spell that says “Replay each 1-Cost card you’ve played this game.”Confront the Tol’vir, new version. 4 mana spell that says “Summon each 1-Cost *minion* you’ve played this game.”
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