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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 03/10/2025

One of those days where you throw open the curtains and the room gets darker.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 31/08/2025

I’m celebrating the last day of summer by wearing a cardigan and staying indoors.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

I call this poem “Perfect Friday Night” No plans Telly Biscuits Sofa.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 25/08/2025

Don’t shoot the messenger, but the next bank holiday is Christmas Day.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 25/08/2025

It’s summer bank holiday and it’s actually sunny. Doesn’t feel right at all.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 21/08/2025

The most passive-aggressive phrases: 1 Polite notice 2 Gentle/friendly reminder 3 As per my last email 4 Thanks in advance 5 For the avoidance of doubt 6 With all due respect 7 I may have missed it, but 8 Maybe I didn’t explain it clearly enough 9 Not sure if you read my email 10 Hope this helps!

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 10/08/2025

“Would it be easier if I just call you?” Nope, texting is working just fine, thank you.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 04/08/2025

Being 100% aware that the acquaintance you're pretending not to see is also pretending not to see you.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 01/08/2025

August. Or as I call it, the “I can’t believe it’s nearly September” month.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 30/07/2025

Start work slightly early: Nobody notices. Finish work slightly early: “Part timer are you?”

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 29/07/2025

Similar but subtly different British translations 1. “Anyway, I won’t keep you any longer” Translation: I’m going to walk away from you now because I want to go. 2. “Anyway, don’t let me keep you any longer” Translation: I have to stay here, so I can’t walk away, but I want YOU to walk away.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 28/07/2025

You know a Brit’s really mad when they beg your pardon, then suggest something may have escaped your attention, before apologising for being close to losing their patience. Upon reaching boiling point, there’s a chance they’ll issue the killer blow of offering you their regards.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 25/07/2025

Knowing a situation has become drastically out of hand when a British person says “now come on, there's no need for that”

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 15/07/2025

Going for an “any time” train ticket because understanding what constitutes “off peak” requires an expert knowledge of advanced calculus, economics, law and philosophy.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 07/07/2025

“I wouldn't say I'm massively looking forward to it” Translation: Since being invited I've thought of nothing except possible excuses not to go.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 26/06/2025

“I’ll have a look in a second” Translation: Go away.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

As today marks the exact midpoint between New Year’s Day 2025 and Christmas Day, what better moment to officially unveil my new book: A Very British Christmas - your essential guide to navigating the festive season in true British style. Available to pre-order here bit.ly/4lhef0p

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

Questions that make my mind go blank: “Why do you want this job?” “Know any good jokes?” “Been up to much lately?” “What did you do yesterday?”

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 18/06/2025

“You wanted this on and you’re not even watching it!” “I AM!” Narrator: They were both on their phones.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 13/06/2025

One minute you're young and wild, the next your favourite weekend activity is standing at the window admiring the lawn you just mowed.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 13/06/2025

Someone just cancelled plans on me for this evening. I’m wondering if I should send them a thank you card.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

If you need a Father’s Day card this weekend, I’ve got a whole bunch of lighthearted ones to choose from! Shop: thortful.pxf.io/Ry7EYN

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

Replying to “how are you?” with “knackered” just in case you're about to be invited out.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

In Britain, if you moan online about rubbish weather, it’s the law that someone will reply, “lovely and sunny where I am!”

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

Speeding up to pass a fellow pedestrian and keeping up the ludicrous pace for at least three miles.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

If you happen to be purchasing Very British Problems gifts (perhaps for Father’s Day!) in my shop, don’t miss out on the free mug offer - it ends tomorrow at midnight. verybritishproblemstshirts.com

Use code MUGFORDAD when you spend over £30

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 24/05/2025

Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it “Looks like we’ve had our summer!”

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 20/05/2025

Shoutout to the people on public transport who unselfishly choose not to use headphones so we can all enjoy the music.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 17/05/2025

A free mug today in the VBP shop! Good for drinking drinks out of, particularly hot ones. Use code MUGFORDAD at the checkout, minimum spend £30 🙌 verybritishproblemstshirts.com

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 16/05/2025

I saw someone called “an absolute yoghurt” today. Further proof that “absolute” + “noun” = perfectly good British insult.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 13/05/2025

This is an awful lot of pre-summer before actual summer. It’s making me worry what actual summer will be like. It’ll either be far too much actual summer, or not much actual summer at all.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 12/05/2025

“Anyway, the invite’s there, see how you feel” Translation: I can tell you don't want to come and it's become awkward.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

“The person you are calling is not available, please leave your message after the...” Phew and nope.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 07/05/2025

Life = one long panic punctuated by cups of tea.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 04/05/2025

Free UK delivery all weekend in the VBP shop! No code required. verybritishproblemstshirts.com

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 04/05/2025

Back to 12°C today. Nice manageable temperature. Safe. Dependable.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

British people absolutely love saying it’s hotter than either Spain, Greece or Turkey.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 28/04/2025

Bread knife - a quick wipe with the kitchen roll and away it goes. That’s all it wants. That’s all it needs.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 28/04/2025

Some two-word dismissive British phrases: Grow up Give over Show off Jog on Clear off Pipe down Yeah right Button it As if Do one

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 26/04/2025

Air fryers have made it far too easy to have “a quick garlic baguette” for breakfast.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 25/04/2025

Today’s main conversation: “I can’t believe it’s Friday already” “Well, it’s a short week this week”

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 24/04/2025

Ways to accept a cup of tea 1. “Only if you're having one” 2. <check watch> “Go on then” 3. “I wouldn’t say no” 4. “Ooh yes please” 5. “I’m gasping” 6. “You read my mind” 7. Respond to “tea?” by saying “tea” 8. “I’ll make it” 9. “Best idea you’ve had all day” 10. Stating milk/sugar preference

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 23/04/2025

“At least it can't get any worse” Well done, you just set the universe a challenge it can't refuse.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 22/04/2025

The post-bank holiday chat: “Good bank holiday?” “Yeah, not bad, quite quiet. You?” “Yeah, it was nice, thanks, just saw the family. Ate a lot!” “Same” “Seemed to go by so quickly” “Yeah… I keep thinking it’s Monday” “At least it’s a short week”

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 18/04/2025

It’s a good day for thinking it’s Saturday.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 17/04/2025

Only three more days until I can finally eat my 17th Easter Egg of the year.

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Very British Problems @soverybritish.bsky.social · 15/04/2025

Nothing more British than the sound of the ice cream van driving by in the rain.

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