iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 19/05/2025

If a guy says he makes "six figures" it means 85K pre-tax plus some gift cards from his parents, so rounding up that's pretty much six figures.

000

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 18/05/2025

Yes, that is my purse. My grandma passed away 9 years ago, but I still want Werther's Originals when I'm in church.

030

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 16/02/2025

"TikTok? You mean the Chinese spyware app?" - your uncle, on Facebook, from his iPhone, in a McDonald's, on public WiFi, immediately after signing up for a Triangle rewards card

1111

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 22/01/2025

If you can't handle me at my Magikarp, you don't deserve me at my Gyarados.

091

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

"We throw away enough food to feed those who are hungry. A win for capitalism is a loss for humanity." - a dog watching a McDonald's employee clean up a puddle of barf

091

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

The only thing more heartwarming than baby laughter is mans-laughter.

0150

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

I'll never forgive humans for what they did to the thylacine.

050

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

There aren't enough monotremes.

090

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

I was talking to everyone that knows you, and they'd like you to stop.

1100

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

I just did pee at the Poo Festival, and people are so mad. But I guess I've always gone against the grain, taken the road less traveled, been a bit of a maverick.

0130

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

I am not going to sit here and pretend that Mavis Beacon isn't a baddie.

330

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

My New Years Resolution is to finish my sexy Wario Land 3 fan fiction.

070

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

Hello, it's me, Michael Mouse. These are my friends, Humorous Dog and Angry Bird.

150

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

MANDELA EFFECT: Rosa Parks was NOT an unlockable character in Smash Bros. Melee.

0111

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

"There's gonna be hot babes at the party." - Nostradamus (age 19)

160

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

I can already tell that 2025 is going to be one of those years where people do things and stuff happens. Mark my words.

150

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

My New Years Resolution is to defeat Kony 2012.

020

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 29/12/2024

Worms, huh, yeah What are they good for? Aerating your garden Say it again, y'all Worms, huh (good god) What are they good for? Water infiltration

050

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 29/12/2024

Normalize screaming in the woods.

050

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 29/12/2024

This might seem strange, but if you write "could of" I think that you should be beaten with a hammer.

030

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 29/12/2024

What fields are you guys frolicking in these days?

100

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 28/12/2024

"I've earned a lil treat." - a pigeon about to eat a cigarette out of a puddle of Dr. Pepper

1255

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 28/12/2024

My New Years Resolution is to stop killing myself in Banjo-Kazooie just so I can see Hot Gruntilda.

050

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

Your Dad: nobody had autism when I was a kid. Also Your Dad: rearranges tools in the garage for 3 hours so that he doesn't have to speak to company.

0173

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

Your Dad: young people are so sensitive these days. Also Your Dad: STOP CALLING MY FAVORITE BILLIONAIRE STUPID.

090

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

Banks HATE this financial hack: use their bathroom and steal all their toilet paper.

020

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

MANDELA EFFECT: Gandhi never actually said, "she thicker than cold peanut butter."

010

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

I will gladly participate in an activity, but you will NEVER see me at the function.

020

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

You have to eat 17 servings of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in order to get your daily recommended intake of phosphorus. This is unsustainable.

061

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

"Let's go get stomped to death." - worms when it's raining

010

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

"This could have been an email." - me at the Gettysburg address

040

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

How can you be in meetings all day when we still don't know where eels come from?

030

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

So it's actually not illegal to pour acid on someone playing music without headphones on the train.

010

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

I can tolerate tomfoolery. I can deal with hijinks. I can handle shenanigans. But japes? Keep your japes to yourself.

060

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

(Mickey Mouse if he was the President of the USA) "It's time for the mystery Mouseketool!" *drops 5000 M118s on North Korea*

060

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

My favorite Star Wars guy has got to be that podracer, Benjamin the Portuguese rectangle.

020

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

Oh shoot oh frick oh no I didn't exercise for 15 years.

030

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

Stephen Hawking was well into his 20s when he became wheelchair-bound. You're not too old to do something memorable.

030

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

What kinda crackers are you guys eating these days?

110

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

A young Bruce Wayne falls into a pond instead of a well. He becomes Algae-Man — forming a green film over the criminals of Gotham City.

030

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

Don't ask me if I've read any good books recently. If I have read a book, I will let you know.

030

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

(me on a first date) "Can I kiss you?" (my English teacher hiding in the bushes) "I don't know — CAN you?"

0142

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

Albert Einstein was 56 when he invented science. Neil Armstrong was 41 when he discovered space. Neil Degrasse Tyson was 45 when he discovered Black space. You're not too old to start a new career.

0181

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

"Danger is my middle name." - Michael Danger Simmons

010

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

Every high school has that one guy who's actually just a lot of ants in the shape of a guy.

050

someguymark @someguymark.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

Some people really witness the miracle of childbirth and then say, "Let's name him Kyle."

060