iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 15h

Plus the Starbucks inside the Starbucks inside the Starbucks inside the wormhole

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 16h

How are you scaling this? Is a severed arm in a swimming pool okay? Or just a hand?

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Plus, if all houses cost the same, moving is simple. No money changing hands, as every property is the same value.

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Yes, all houses should cost the same. Whether it's a two up, two down in a run-down Northern city or a twelve bedroom mansion in the Sussex countryside. That's proper levelling up!

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

(especially as the classroom was quite hard to find...)

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Brought to you by the makers of Soylent Green

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Still annoyed that someone blocked the suggestion of renaming a classroom after a colleague who passed away - the Chris Leach Information Technology Suite

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Depends - does no-one go there because it's just opened? Or been taken over by someone doing a "better" job? Or maybe it's not serving food that's in the current fashion? Perhaps it's a hopeless place to eat, but you enjoy the atmosphere?

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Is it because the "large UK based airline" only do cargo flights?

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Genuinely don't understand people who think their "I don't like this, so don't talk about it" comment should overrule any conversation. Let's face it, we all need some escapism form the world of deceit, treachery and scheming... Oh.

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Didn't Hercules build a giant wooden horse to steal Jason's technicolour dreamcoat?

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Are you sure they're not calling you "bunny boiler"? Very different thing

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Don't crack an Enigma machine, they're expensive! Even if you're a good Geordie lad, they'll make you pay for it to be fixed

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

And now for PE we're teaching *checks notes* parkour? NO JIMMY, GET DOWN OFF THE ROOF! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO FRED, EVEN IF HE DID PUSH IN FRONT OF YOU FOR LUNCH! SOMEONE CALL A FIRST AIDER! IN FACT, GET *ALL* THE FIRST AIDERS...

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Just call your Irish girlfriend saucy, problem solved

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Well done, now you can never take more than a couple of days off without being urgently called back to work. Enjoy being indispensable, right up to the point you burn out.

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Average bowel movement is about 200cc. 55 million people will produce approx 10 million litres of shit, which is 4 Olympic size swimming pools.

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

He's probably not allowed to see them without supervision

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Well if you will measure roughly, you're bound to get numb nuts

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Also, 75% of the staff at Bletchley Park during WW2 were women. Germans were so confident Enigma couldn't be broken, they didn't put much effort into breaking Typex.

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

If your kid's legs are long enough to kick the seat of the person in front of them, they're old enough to be held responsible when their legs get amputated by a frustrated person who's had a really bad week and just wants some peace and quiet on their journey home for pity's sake. Too much?

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

What you're looking for there isn't a pension, it's stuffing £20 notes under your mattress. That's not guaranteed either though...what if you get burgled? Or your house burns down? Or there's a zombie apocalypse, meaning money is worthless?

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

You think you have a bad case of hiccups, nothing compared to this guy! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles...

en.wikipedia.org

Charles Osborne (farmer) - Wikipedia

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

OP now getting paid to have three showers a day

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

New series of Black Mirror coming soon

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

You need to use your Sonic Youth to start Smashing Pumpkins

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Not all wars are started by shortarses... Trump is 6'3" Netanyahu is 5'11" OK Putin is only 5'7"

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Making people shorter would also help, reduce ceiling heights and you can then fit three floors into a previously two storey building

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I'm sure the Boris Karloff version of Frankenstein was scary when it was released, but noow it's just Young Frankenstein

static.klipy.com

Young Frankenstein: What Is It That You Do Do?

ALT: Young Frankenstein: What Is It That You Do Do?

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Like the old joke I told a colleague this week... Boss is taking a VIP around the building. VIP "How many people work here?" Boss "On a good day, about half of them..."

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Ask garage to diagnose issue. Google issue and expected cost of repair. Respond to garage with appropriate hand gestures if the price is too high.

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The only genuinely squirrel-proof bird feeder would be built into a drone, hovering well away from any trees, lamp posts etc. Then again, the squirrels would probably work out a way to jam the signal and crash the drone...

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

An optimist would say "I'm so spectacular in bed, that every woman who slept with me thinks 'no man will EVER live up to that!' "

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Just seen this posted on another forum. DBS are ready for your tricks, sir!

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Just the first four words is enough

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

That explains the lack of sense of smell, why are you unable to use punctuation?

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Reminds me of Dad's former colleagues back in the 70s. They got caught underselling the company, and we're called to head office and told to hand in their company car keys. They did exactly as asked, but no-one knew where the cars were. They found one about 10 years later...

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Now he's got more time to spend with his family...

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Almost had to overload the warp core on that freighter to get the cheese to melt, then it tried to escape

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Are you sure Chief? This is Klingon targ cheese, served on Romulan black bread, with Cardassian butter. The combination alone may defeat you, but it was grilled on the warp core of a Breen freighter.

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Not sure Chief, but the Caitian ambassador just brought up a *spectacular* hairball

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Doing what hundreds and thousands have done before

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Simon Robinson @smurfomatic.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Really? You think OP is able to stretch their body, and is eating people's livers so they can hibernate for 30 years?

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