iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 11h

The president is actually doing the same thing in the third to last panel. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/bet-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. A generic version of an American president leans grimly over his desk, stating "we have no cards left to play. It is loss or stalemate. We launch the nuclear arsenal. Now." He then talks about the effects of the fallout for 2 panels: "once our strike is inbound, our foes will return fire. Billions, unsuspecting, reduced to shadows on a concrete wall. In the years that follow, crops will wither under a bituminous sky. And those children who survive infancy will forever bear the mark of the atom in their blood and tissues."

Part 2/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. The president concludes "Whatever world emerges, civilization shall not." An employee standing behind him asks "mr. president, I ask you to hesitate. Just for a moment." The president grants him 5 minutes, during which the employee bets on a prediction market app on his phone that there will be thermonuclear wold war before the end of the year."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Back when I was in art school, we believed in this with all our hearts. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/prompt-3 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is sitting at his computer while another stands behind him, criticizing what is on the screen. The standing man says "you call that art? You’re just by yourself prompting a robot to make stuff." The sitting man interjects "but it's still - " and is cut off by the standing man adding "where’s the INTENT? Huh? This isn’t why we make things." The caption below the panel reads "AI cannot create, because real Art comes from the human need to impress the shy girl in figure-drawing class."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

It's not a topical comic in that I suspect I'll be posting it every few years for a long time. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/woops PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3-panel SMBC comic update. A man is checking news headlines on his phone, with the first stating "president raises tariffs; deports workers; starts war." The man says "woops," still looking down at his phone. The final panel shows a scene from earlier, where the man is wishing on a monkey's paw: "Monkey's Paw, I wish people cared about basic economics." One of the fingers on the paw curls ominously.

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

The secret ingredient is a half teaspoon of rosewater. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/cardamom PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is leaning into a guillotine to be executed. Surprised, he asks "is that... Cardamom?" The executioner answers "with a hint of aniseed." The caption below the comic reads "the best thing about holding The Revolution in Fall was the pumpkin spice guillotine."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Aw, he's fucking off. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/birds PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com #birding

4-panel SMBC comic update. Two women are birdwatching, one marvels at a white bird standing on a rock, saying "oh my gosh, look, a Shitepoke!' The same woman is delighted as she sees other birds saying "what a charming Arsefoot! look sally, a Windfucker! Go fuck that wind, little Windfucker!" The woman birding with her says "okay fine, you can go back to scientific nomenclature and I won’t complain." The first woman replies "it is too late. The change is complete."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Bonus points if you can figure out what the canine is. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/a-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. Each panel shows a different animal with a cute name - A Buggyfriend, A Pider, A SnickySnek and A Verygoodboy. The caption below the comic reads "life goal: name a species in every genus that starts with A."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

All these jokes about how it's hard to operationalize good values are gonna be really funny when the T-1000s start rolling out. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/specify PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic update. A man praying at his bedside asks "God, why is it possible to be a good person, but impossible to simply specify ethical rules that always result in good behavior?" God replies "because ethics is like ALMOST EVERY OTHER PROBLEM."

Part 2/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic update. God continues to explain as the looks gradually surprised and annoyed: "try to perfectly specify language-use with a simple rule set. Or boardgame strategy. Or driving a car. Or eating soup. Humans can hold about seven things in working memory at a time, and so have decided that anything requiring eight things is poorly specified! WooOOOoooo a talking ape can’t reduce something to an evolutionary arbitrary quantity of criteriaaaaa. Soooooooo mysteriouuuuus." The man then says "you’re being mean, God." God taunts him in return "are you SURE? Can you specify meanness? WOOOOooooo OOoooooo!"

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

But you wouldn't BELIEVE how many probably-true fun facts I know from YouTube. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/intere... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. In the first and second panels, two stick figures representing a man and a women are used to illustrate the following statement : "on average, men are larger than women. On average, women carry more body fat than men." The narration then adds "the main radioactive element in the human body is potassium-40, which is nearly absent in body fat. Which means..." We then see a man hit on a woman by saying "you shouldn’t get to know me, honey. I’m dangerous."

Part 2/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. The woman smiles and answers "in an interesting way?" The man smiles and replies "no."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

That janitor just goes from building to building helping people. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/equati... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

10-panel SMBC comic update. All the panels are dialogue-less. Two researchers are writing equations on a chalkboard. A janitor watches them from afar. The researchers leave as the janitor is still mopping the floor. The janitor walks up to the chalkboard and writes on it with purpose, admires what he wrote, and leave late in the evening. The two researchers return at dawn, and are shocked by what is written on the blackboard. Over their half-erased equations, the text "ChatGPT, do a breakthru, no mistakes, thankx."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

That whole section is unappreciated comedy gold. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/script... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. A priest confronts a kid for falling asleep in church. The kid starts to recite Acts 20:9-11 as his explanation. He says : "And there sat in a window a certain young man named Eutychus, being fallen into a deep sleep: and as Paul was long preaching, he sunk down with sleep, and fell down from the third loft, and was taken up dead. And Paul went down, and fell on him, and embracing him said, Trouble not yourselves; for his life is in him. When he therefore was come up again, and had broken bread, and eaten, and talked a long while, even till break of day, so he departed.”

Part 2/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. After quoting the Bible verse, the kid explains "Paul’s preaching was so boring a kid literally fell out a third story window and had to be resurrected just to hear more sermon, and you’re mad at ME for finding you boring?" The final panel cuts to a later scene, where the priest declares "the scripture memorization prize is officially canceled. We will now be rewarding doing what I say."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

It's just a more full service lending program. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/free-5 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. Two men in period clothing talk, one of them stating "pay me back on if you can, but if you cannot... free liposuction." The caption below the panel reads "read properly, The Merchant of Venise is very uplifting."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

It's the one time this sort of thing worked. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/gift PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. The panel shows a black and white photo with a gallery / museum styles description below it. The photos shows many silhouetted trees with a stark white background, and a bending trunk splitting the photo in half. The descriptions reads "From the Ansel Adams Dick Pics series (1953) // Gelatin silver print //Unsolicited gift of the artist"

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Just to be clear, I have been siding with machines since well before they were about to annihilate us. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/parado... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic update. A man speaks smugly to a copper-colored robot. He asks "you think you can replace all mathematicians, eh robot? WELL TRY THIS: is the following statement true: “this statement is a lie.” The robot flatly answers "according to the ai-discovered theory of elliptic hyper-type manifolds, all such “paradoxes” resolve with a meta-inductive disosculated tarskian reach-around." The man is taken aback, answers "ah."

Part 2/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic update. He then begins to asks "well let me ask you this: does a man who shaves all men who–..." The robot interrupts him "please stop embarrassing yourself."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

He's only given one final week to live but having a salary is nice. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/all-ri... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is practicing for an interview in front of a mirror. He says "hey, that’s all right. Hey, we all make mistakes. Hey, who could’ve seen it coming? That’s it. Nailed it. Ready for the interview." The caption below the panel reads "The last available human job was being the thing AI apologizes to."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

This is actually what the Predator was doing the whole movie. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/suit-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. A man says he wants a divorce to a person named Celia, that is out of the panel. Is the next panel, we see Celia, who is wearing a bodysuit covered in a static pattern, with only her face visible. She asks "is it because I spent our life savings building a camouflage suit so I could duck out of awkward conversations?" The man replies that that's precisely the issue, interrupted by Celia activating the suit. The static pattern now blends with her surroundings while her blank face floats, and her partner looks annoyed.

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Seriously, Derek Parfit is an untapped comedy gold mine. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/identi... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic. A young man marches to his dad sitting on a red couch, stating "Your generation used up all resources and ruined the world!" The father turns, smiles and says "sorry, you can’t be mad! Even slight changes to human choices alter the set of people who get born." The father leans towards his son, looking over the couch's back to add "the generation that exists now is the one that arises in a world where we used up all the good stuff! Son, in a world where we carefully husbanded earth’s bounty, you don’t even exist!"

Part 2/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic. Taken aback, the son answers "you’re probably wrong but I don’t know how!" The father laughs loudly. The comic cuts to 15 years earlier, where we see the dad reading a book titled "Identity Metaphysics for Expecting Parents."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The witch from Hansel and Gretel sells magic crystals. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/wolf-5 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. The panel shows a sketched out YouTube video page, with a video titled "Today: is the wolf here? Episode #427 of the Wolfcatcher diaries." The channel has over 400k subscribers, and the thumbnail shows the title of the episode with a red-haired man pointing to a bold title font saying "The wolf is coming soon. Wolf! Wolf!" The caption below the panel reads "The Boy Who Cried Wolf later had an extremely popular YouTube channel."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

The worst part is how she's wearing a suit instead of an event t-shirt with holes in it. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/taken PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man at a desk slams down on it two big green bags with dollar signs on them. He addresses the woman standing in front of the desk, saying "sorry your work was taken over by machines. welcome to quantitative finance. Here’s your sacks of dollars." The caption below the comic reads "Pure mathematicians’ nightmares are different."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

With apologies if this has been a joke in the fandom for decades. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/in PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. Two people are walking together when one of them realizes "wait. He was called Darth Vader. Vader like iNvader. And then there was Darth Sidious. Like insidious." The man then looks down and adds "huh. Good thing that Jedi who kissed his own sister never became a Sith lord." The next panel cuts to a Sith lord introducing himself "I am Darth Breeding."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

It's surprising how into murder 7 year olds are. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/civili... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A mother stands behind her daughter, grasping her daughter's shoulders. The mother says "during the night an entire civilization of bacteria has arisen, prospered, and taken their good fortune for granted. ANNIHILATE THEM." The caption below the comic reads "I found a way to get kids to brush their teeth."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

As requested, we made store stuff from the "Philosophy" comic! Now you can bring this graph everywhere to inform anyone who crosses your path. MUG ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com/products/phi... SHIRT ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com/products/phi... PRINT ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com/products/phi...

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

This isn't a metaphor. Just a story about a roach. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/roach-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. The first panel shows a cartoon little roach happily saying "oh man! The stupid human put food in here. fool!" The next panel shows the roach walking away from a poison trap as he says "I’m gonna give it to everyone!" The third panel shows a human at his computer with a similar expression to that of the cartoon roach. The man says "this stupid company made a controversial ad. How embarrassing for them!" The man then walks away from the computer desk, at an angle reminiscent to the panel where the roach walks away from the poison trap. The man says "better share with all my friends and family so everyone knows which ad not to look at."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

There's a thing in the paper about the forthcoming End Times but it's still in press. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/citati... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. The panel shows text on a white background listing the following :
God. (4004 BC-a). God. (4004 BC-b). God. (4004 BC-c). God. (4004 BC-d). God. (4004 BC-e). God. (4004 BC-f). God. (4004 BC-g). God. (4004 BC-h). God. (4004 BC-i). God. (4004 BC-j). God. (4004 BC-k). God. (4004 BC-l). God. (4004 BC-m). God. (4004 BC-n). God

The caption below the panel reads : "becoming a Creationist really streamlined my Reference-gathering process."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Seriously though, next time there's a problem like this just call me. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/waste-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. A woman at a podium speaks to a huge crowd in a large dome structure. She says "we have assembled the world's most preeminent scientists, philosophers, linguists, artists, and architects. We are here to find a way to tell anyone anytime in the next 10,000 years to stay away from this place of burial of nuclear waste." She then lists the issues of various languages and symbols "we may not use current language, which may drift, nor symbols, which may invert, and yet...–" She is interrupted by someone yelling "MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A DOG’S BUTTHOLE." She pauses, and asks "what was that?"

Part 2/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. The next panel shows that the person yelling this is a man in a jumpsuit. He repeats himself : "the entryway. Make it like a butthole. The butthole of a dog." The woman at the podium then says "CANCEL THE CONFERENCE! CANCEL EVERYTHING!" The final panel shows a newspaper headline saying "Local Janitor Saves Government $14,000,000."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

You can't see it but he's typing an essay with his right hand. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/lake PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is rushing away from a lake where a small child is drowning. As he runs off, he says "I'm sorry, my publications and advocacy save a life every five minutes, and it'd take six minutes to save you!" The caption below the comic reads: "ironically, Peter Singer is the only person not ethically permitted to save a drowning child."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I wonder if the cost of chips has cut down on conspiracies. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/gates-3 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man with a beard sits in the left corner, agitated, stating "Bill Gates put microchips in me! Hundreds of ‘em!" A man wearing glasses swiftly turns towards him, asking "really? What year? Do they have onboard memory? Where are you sleeping tonight?" The caption below the comic reads "The RAM shortage takes a dark turn."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Do all of history's obsessive truth seekers seem happy to you? COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/balance PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic. The two characters in the strip are two children walking through the snow that have appeared a few times in SMBC updates. The red haired kid asks the girl wearing glasses "why do you think humans are often unhappy?" As she balances herself on a snow pile, the girl wearing glasses states "lack of balance," and explains : "there’s this whole genre of 'dr. Faust' myths where a guy learns everything true but his life is still bad." The red haired kid says "so..." The girl wearing glasses continues "the only way to get through this life happily is to consume partial truth blended thoroughly with steaming hogwash."

Part 2/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic. The children are now silhouettes on a hilltop. The red haired kid says "I really need to watch more YouTube." The girl wearing glasses adds "we all do. We all do."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Never thought software would ruin a philosophy problem, but here we are. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/scratc... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. Two people talk as they walk down the street. The man asks "do you think p-zombies are possible? Beings that are outwardly conscious but with no internal world?" The woman answers "Not for long, no. Just take your p-zombie and put it in a harness with a scratchpad." The woman gets more intense as she continues to explain : "now it has a physical record of interiority. All you have to do is take that record, shove it up the p-zombie’s ass, and now it is literally internal." The man responds, saying "I don’t know if that last part is okay," so the woman reassures him by saying "no, no, it isn’t conscious until after."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Kelly thought this was stupid, so please make sure to share it. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/time-8 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. A scientist laughs, satisfied that the time machine she invented works. When a college asks her where she will be going first, she replies : "to the days the canonical bible translation was established, so I can insert phrases that people have to justify later!" The next panel cuts to another location, where a priests speaks to a kid, saying "ah, mark 17:2. That refers to the hypostatic union of Christ, having both a divine and human nature." The kid then asks "so when jesus says 'bofa DEEZ NUTS' he–" leading to the priests interrupting him yelling "METAPHOR! METAPHOR!"

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

We're about 6 weeks away from being able to do an Only Transporter Problem book. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/transp... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com #comics #startrek

Part 1/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. Two men are hiking in the woods with large backpacks. One asks "why do you think society in star trek is so peaceful?" The second answers "post-scarcity." When the first man asks if the second meant no worries about money, the second man explains with a hopeful smile : "no, they're post-scarcity on murder. Every time you get someone to use the teleporter, you are killing them. Imagine the peace of mind from knowing that if you don’t like someone they will almost certainly be killed later the same day."

Part 2/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. The second man keeps explaining his theory about transporters: "how could you not be happy? How could you not fan out into the galaxy, searching for ever more enemies to murder?" The first man, uneasy, says "I never thought of the transporter problem as a positive benefit." The first man corrects him: "transporter SOLUTION."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I really do wonder if paid disinformation orgs have the same office politics as everywhere else. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/shilling PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. A woman points out a man holding a "save our view" sign at a protest, saying "you’re not from here! You’re a paid shill!" the man retorts "I am not! I’ve never taken a cent!" The following panel cuts to "later, back at the shill office…" where the same man is asking his employer "boss, do you think you’ll end up hiring me after this shill internship?" The boss answers "sorry, you’ve been replaced by AI." as a robot walks up behind him stating "AS A LOCAL PEOPLE I SUPPORT THE THING."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

God also has a joke about how both oblivion and eternal recurrence are terrifying, and there is no middle ground. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/club-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. The panel shows the outside of a club on an open mic night. The set being told inside it can be seen in a talkbubble above it : "Humans hate needing each other. Humans get sad when they don’t need each other." The caption below the comic reads "God's standup didn't go over, but it sure made Him laugh."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

The MBAs are no good because when the lights are off they think it's nighttime and go to sleep. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/major PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 5-panel comic update. A young woman is quickly offered a job at a work interview, with the person hiring her declaring "a philosophy major! Great. You’re hired." She asks "for my critical thinking and logic?" The man hiring her explains : "yeah! the job is to be the legally designated human in a completely automated data center where we don’t pay for lighting. Logic your way into deciding that’s fine. the STEM majors go mad in the night and the arts majors start breaking things and tweeting about it, but YOU. you will find a way through."

Part 2/2 of a 5-panel comic update. The woman looks to distance and quotes : "...all fortune is good fortune; for it either rewards, disciplines, amends, or punishes, and so is either useful or just.” [Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy] The man hiring her adds "health insurance is not included."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

There should be a version of the Chinese Room where the guy inside has to speak French and has to remember those classes he cheated on in high school. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/consci... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. A man is praying at his bedside, and he asks God "God, are you conscious like us?" God replies : "nah. I’m just an incredibly large lookup table. For any string of noises you produce, I can respond as if I’m doing natural language processing, but there’s nobody 'in there' responding." Taken aback, the man asks "no subjective experience No selfhood?" God confirms "nupe. Just a simple table with about 10(3000) entries." The man then shouts nonsense at God, who replies in kind.

Part 2/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. The man continues to shout nonsense, yelling "FLOOBYGABANG!" God replies "ALAGALGAMAGGLE!" The man then yells, and God yells back. The final panel cuts to heaven, with an angel telling God that that was mean. God cheerfully replies "I'm a Chinese room!"

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Please let Professor Sykes know there's a free bad caricature available for him. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/seized PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man at a podium angrily declares : "I have seized control of the international astronomical union! you are all demoted to dwarf status. there is only one planet. say it's name! say it!" The caption below the panel reads "The Pluto status debate took a disquieting turn."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

They actually say modulus, but journalists dumb it down. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/imagin... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3-panel SMBC comic update. A man wearing glasses stands at a podium, declaring: "at last we've overthrown the economists! From now on the nation's finances shall be run by mathematicians!" Shortly after, the same mathematician declares: "as of today, money will be denominated in complex numbers. The public's long wait for an algebraically closed currency is at an end!" The next panel shows a news article headline: "ECONOMY CRASHES - Nation's money accidentally rotated 90 degrees, now imaginary. Mathematicians (quoted): "calm down, absolute value unchanged."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

It's the ones who go on TV that you really need to look out for. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/money PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. A man points aggressively to another wearing a sweater vest, yelling "YOU! YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE EViL MONEY GUYS! You vile, shitsucking, babykilling, son of a bitch’s bastard’s wh...–" The vest-wearing man cuts him off, stating "ohhh, no, no, I’m an economist. You're thinking of finance." The first man then apologizes "terribly sorry sir," with the economist saying that it happens all the time.

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Is it the thong? Is the problem that I use a thong? COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/meanin... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. A man with red hair is praying to God while kneeled at his bedside. As he begins a question, God cuts him off, stating "stop it! No more! Stop asking why bad things happen to good people or whether life has a purpose or what you should...–" The man then cuts off God, blurting out his question : "how come when you put underwear on a dog it looks MORE prurient, not less?" The man looks up as the room is filled with total silence. He then asks God a follow up question "like you cover up the nipples but somehow it looks...–" God asks, defeated, "what was that about the meaning of life again?"

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Honestly, you can just assume eating ten as a given and move on. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/dilemm... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

2-panel SMBC comic update. The two panels feature the same art, with the text illustrating the contrast between both situations. The art is of one stick person beginning to explain a philosophical dilemma, while the other reacts quickly to the setup. In the first panel - identified as "normal people hearing philosophical dilemmas," the set up is "you have to eat 10 babies, but are guaranteed world peace for -" The reactive characters cuts the other off, saying "what's the matter with you?" In the second panel - identified as "philosophers hearing philosophical dilemmas," the reactive character cuts off the first after "you have to eat 10 babies but," prompting the first character to "get to the interesting part."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Anyone who doesn't find this funny is in the lower right. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/philos... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

SMBC 1-panel comic update. A four-quadrant chart is shown with the title "know your branches of philosophy." On the left of the horizontal x axis, there is "careful reasoning." on the right of the x axis, "confusing bullshit." At the top of the y vertical axis there is "stuff that matters," and at the bottom of the y axis can be found "stuff that doesn't matter." A dot is located at the far bottom left, identified as "analytic." Another dot is located at the far top right, identified as "continental."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Later he regrets strangling the jester. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/royal PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. A lavishly dressed king commands from his throne : "bring me my court jester, that he might fart and juggle and thereby bring me solace!" The jester appears, brightly dressed, juggling and farthing. The king states "and just so, I am soothed of all sorrows." The final panel shows the king earlier, thinking to himself "gosh, should i have strangled ALL the protestants?"

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

The good news is you can put beer back there. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/secret PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. Two men are hanging out in a library room. The owner of the room pulls on a book to reveal a secret passage. He says "I have enough money for a revolving bookshelf to hide secrets, but all of my secrets are just sad things that have happened to me." On the hidden wall, there is the photo of a woman with the words "Sheila loved you" scribbled above it. The caption below the comic reads "Being an adult is Hell."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

This is but one entry in my future guide to sex. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/echo PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3-panel SMBC comic update. A woman walks up to another woman sitting at her desktop computer. The first woman says "I need to convince my boyfriend he's good at sex." The second woman answers as she types : "tonight, try imagining you're a bat that keeps echolocating stuff in the room." The first woman reacts with confusion, as the second states "trust me." The next panel is fully black, implying the lights are off with the narration "later, after darkness falls..." A talkbubble - implied to be the first woman speaking to the boyfriend - says : "AAAA! AAAA! RIGHTT HERE! AAAA! THAT'S IT! RIGHT THERE!"

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Somehow it become Experience Machine month? COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/experi... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic update. Two people are walking on a beach. The first, a woman, asks "if you could get into an experience machine, where you live in a world of false bliss, would you?" The second opens his arms and emphatically answers "never. I want authentic life."

Part 2/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic update.
The second person elaborates, detailing how he would like to experience the situation: "I would however keep the experience machine in my den, and use it most of the weekend and sometimes after work when I felt exhausted or stressed. Now and then I’d probably fake a sick day to use it, and a lot of my social time would be spent talking with friends about their experience machines. And of course when I retired, man, I'd love to just experience machine for like 10 hours a day, then go to the pool." He ends his explanation by saying "BUT OTHER THAN THAT, I would face reality forthrightly when not using it to wank!" The woman replies "so, so brave."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

And look where he put the anus. I mean it's right in the middle of the action. This guy is brilliant! COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/satan-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A priest is addressing his parish, sitting inside a church. He says "Satan put fossils there to confound us! Did a great job too. This is a 4 billion year story! I mean, the consistency. Wow!" The caption below the panel reads "Pastor Anderson kept raving about The Devil’s worldbuilding skills."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

This is of course an SMBC psyop. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/psy PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man and a woman are shown talking. The woman says "thanks, man. I really appreciate your insights about modern politics." The man points at her, asking "ha! nice try, KREMLIN! Who paid you?!" The caption below the comic reads "How come nobody ever assumes the people who agree with them are a foreign psyop?"

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Later he returns as Darth Flation. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/jedi PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update. A circle of Jedi (including Yoda) looking uneasy surround another Jedi speaking in the center. The lecturing Jedi says "Look, whether the ruling class is officially good space-wizards or evil space-wizards doesn’t matter. know what predicts lower infant mortality and greater rights? Gross domestic product per capita." The caption below the comic reads "Later, the dark and light Jedis banded together to cast out the neoliberal faction."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Theory: Gettier's big discovery came while accidentally reading Descartes backwards. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/demon PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1-panel SMBC comic update - a man and a woman stand side by side. The woman states "our senses are incredibly flawed and our cognition full of confusion and bias. BUT CONSIDER: how can we be certain there isn’t some clever demon sneakily putting justified true beliefs into our minds THE WHOLE TIME." The man is speechless with his mouth open wide. The caption below the comic reads "Among philosophers, this is known as the Reverse Descartes."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

How about a rhombus of moral concern? Let's not be too ambitious. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/beyond-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Part 1/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic update. A alien and the human he abducted look at the vastness of space through the dome of the flying saucer they are in. The human asks "do you think humans will keep expanding the 'circle of moral concern' to finally encompass all humans?" The alien answers "nyah" and explains "humans think the circle gets pushed out, but actually it gets pulled. You move beyond self if an outsider threatens your family. Beyond family if an outsider threatens your community. Beyond community if an outsider threatens your nation. But you only get beyond nations if aliens attack, which we wouldn’t because it’d ruin the show called Earth which is very popular on Planet Zorblax."

Part 2/2 of a 5-panel SMBC comic update. A little shook, the human says "I… I guess I’m glad our suffering brings joy to billions." The alien replies "it’s not THAT popular."

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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Physicists are always complaining about latinate terms in biology, and then they pull this shit. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/chromo PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4-panel SMBC comic update. A man in a red shirt is talking to another. He explains over three panels : "wait, it’s called quantum CHROMOdynamics but has nothing to do with color? The “chromo” is because like colors there are three things and they can be combined? this is AMAZING! Any subject or activity with three possibilities is officially CHROMO. OH MY GOD, in sex, there are three places to put..." The other man stops him, flatly saying "stop," prompting the first man to ask "hey, wanna try some blue and yellow makes green tonight?" The second man insists by saying "STOP IT" in bold. The first replies with "no chromo."

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