iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Dear FHSU, You fucking suck. I hope your mediocre sports teams lose. I hope the ghosts of all the Xiphactinus swallow you whole. You have just destroyed the best thing about your fucking school. Don’t EVER come begging for alumni money. You’re not getting a god damn penny from me. Fuck off.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

Well… this is fun. I’m on the inside of the museum and taking a slow leisurely walk through the mineral hall. Hopefully the pride event still happens at some point today!

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

It’s a research Saturday for the sloth avocado paper, and I came across this monstrosity on YouTube. Stop what you’re doing and watch. Because I am IN TEARS!!! I do have to give her props for making lyrics about anal sphincters though. m.youtube.com/watch?v=A-kY...

m.youtube.com

Ghosts of Evolution - theme song with Connie Barlow, celebrating Deep-Time Eyes (v. 1.0)

YouTube video by ghostsofevolution

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

I was working for a friend as a graphic designer in college and it was getting to the point where I could be his friend or employee but not both. So I took historical geology as a GE because it conflicted with my work schedule. We’re still friends.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 06/04/2026

Watching a live-stream from the other side of the moon while purchasing tickets for the Olympics. Not bad for a Monday.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 08/03/2026

Somebody is OBSESSED with the new dinosaur documentary and would really like to stare at the Heterodontosaurus for a little longer.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

My favorite new paleo fact for #FossilFriday is that the great-grandson of L. Frank Baum found a Paleocene fossil site in the Goler Formation that has been named the Land of Oz. Primates have been found within this formation. Sadly, the fossils do not indicate that they had wings.

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Reposted by Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥

GHOULology Johnson @geologyjohnson.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

@comptonscatter.bsky.social here ye gan wor kid #Crinoid #Kaiju

Left: line drawing of human fingers holding a pebble with a fossil crinoid stem that looks like a face. The crinoid face is saying "unhand me, vile human! Or suffer my crinoidal WRATH!"
Right: cartoon drawing of the pebble as a giant monster with crinoid arms and legs chasing human stick figures on a beach. one of the humans is saying "howay man!". An arrow points to the monster with the words "crinoidal wrath (artists impression)". In the back ground is the sea, and holy island/lindesfarne.

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Reposted by Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥

Joschua Knüppe @joschuaknuppe.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

If you know Neosclerocalyptus you know

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Reposted by Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥

Palaeo @palaeosinensis.com · 18/01/2026

A Smilodon for the ice age. Protect your neighbors. #pleistocene #sabertooth #megafauna #iceage

The image shows a blue Smilodon (a kind of extinct big cat with long canine teeth) roaring to the viewer on a red and orange background. It is framed by the words "CHIN UP" and "FANGS OUT". The style is like a vintage screenprint though the artwork is digital.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

This was so much fun!! I’m so glad @anthroandrew.bsky.social dragged me out of the house so I could create this poorly drawn sloth masterpiece.

A drawing of a giant ground sloth and a Joshua tree in front of a cave with piles of sloth poop. In the corner of the drawing is a crossed out avocado. Because sloths did not eat them.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 26/11/2025

Don’t get me wrong, I love all sloths and I’m so happy we had three taxa in this season of Prehistoric Planet, but Eremotherium scares the shit out of me. It is just too big, too weird, too awkward. It was slightly uncomfortable to watch. (And yes, I had the same reaction when I saw one in a museum)

A very VERY large giant ground sloth skeleton with arms outreached above the camera view and long shadows cast behind it.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

Bucket list sloth butt selfie!! This beautiful specimen is from Anza Borrego and it has THOUSANDS of in situ osteoderms. There are only two specimens with in situ osteoderms (that I know of) in North America and I’m spending the day with this one.

A woman with green hair posing in front of a fossil jacket with a sloth pelvis and dense layer of osteoderms.

A close up image of a solid layer of osteoderms from a giant ground sloth.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

I just got home from a screening of Prehistoric Planet Ice Age and it was AMAZING! I could barely contain my emotions during the sloth scenes. It felt like I stepped into a time machine and spent the day with a family of Megalonyx. I can’t wait to watch the rest of the episodes next week!!!

A woman with glasses and a leather jacket standing in front of a large image of a mother and baby mammoth in the snow and the words prehistoric planet ice age at the top.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 11/11/2025

Hey people! I have one unclaimed guest list ticket if anyone is free for Nerd Nite in Burbank tonight! Who wants it?

A graphic with the words “sloth tails from the crypt: get your tinfoil hats! The sloths are out there” with an image of a monster with one eye and a large mouth on its belly.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 16/10/2025

Happy National Fossil Day to me! And the ~30 other sloth researchers. This baby Megalonyx from Prehistoric Planet is too damn cute and I am watching this on repeat for the next 42 days until the new season comes out! m.youtube.com/watch?v=9i0R...

m.youtube.com

Prehistoric Planet: Ice Age — Season 3 First Look | Apple TV+

YouTube video by Apple TV

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 15/08/2025

On this research trip, I have: -left my laptop charger at home -bought a replacement charger that isn’t powerful enough for my laptop -realized that the years of data that’s supposed to be on this hard drive is possibly lost forever But I did help dissect a baby camel, so there’s that.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

I know everything is shit right now, but I still need to share good news when it happens. 3 years after my first attempt and after ungodly amounts of studying, I have finally passed the GISP exam and I get to add some letters after my name!

A screenshot that reads:

Melissa,

You are receiving this email because you took the June 2025 GISCI Geospatial Core Technical Knowledge Exam. Thank you for your patience as we completed our exam review and analysis.

Congratulations, we are pleased to inform you that you have officially Passed the exam!

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 10/06/2025

In case anyone else desperately needs some eye bleach after doomscrolling all day, I just accidentally took the most epic glamour shot of the boys and it 100% needs to be their wedding announcement photo.

Two orange cats posing on a couch in front of a blank wall. They look like they’re posing for a wedding announcement at one of those department store photo studios we all went to when we were teenagers. The cats are staring at something off-camera and they look like they’re holding hands. I added a pride flag because they really are boyfriends and they love each other so much.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

Because we all need good news when we can get it these days: my stepson just got accepted into a PhD program! Since he got his master’s a few years ago, he’s been a professor and addiction counselor, and still finds time to volunteer with the local high school band. I’m so fucking proud of him!

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 01/06/2025

Hi, it’s me. The world’s worst mother (according to this little jerk who is very upset that he has to be in the torture chamber for an hour as we move to our new home).

Two cat carriers on a car seat. One carrier contains a very loud and angry orange cat. The other one has a very quiet and scared orange cat.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

The museum in the Indiana Jones game is pretty rad! They even have a giant ground sloth perched on top of a cabinet of fossil skulls from around the world. Not super happy with the security though. Someone smashed up cabinets and left broken fossils on the floor.

A large sloth skeleton on top of a wooden and glass cabinet full of skulls in a video game. A statue is in the background.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

Is it my imagination or is there a baby mammoth frolicking in the river in the mural outside of my new apartment?

A landscape mural on the side of a freeway underpass with a river flowing in a forest. There’s a rock in the middle of the river that looks like a small mammoth. Or maybe it really is a mammoth. That would be rad.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 27/05/2025

My very first journal article is finally here! And I’m so happy I got to be part of it with a mentor and my grad school advisor, especially since I consider them my friends. 🧪

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

Can I take a short break from being a human and just be a musk ox with a giant beach ball? Just for a few minutes?

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 24/04/2025

The sautéed green beans from Fresh Kabobs. I would eat them like fries, dipped in garlic sauce. And their strawberry goat cheese salad with mint dressing. The lamb kabobs were good, but the sides were unforgettable. I miss that restaurant so much!

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 20/04/2025

A bar in my neighborhood has been promoting a right-wing comedy event. The local subreddit found out and planned protests, posted bad yelp reviews, boycotted, etc. It worked!! I just drove past. The bar is closed and the parking lot is empty. On a Saturday night. Fuck yes!

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 12/04/2025

Diving into the evolutionary of the avocado while waiting in the Subaru dealership, as one does, and internally screaming at the number of papers that cite a musing with no actual scientific evidence and treat it like a proven fact. 😵‍💫🫠

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

Sorry, but the only de-extinction I want to see is when the Pleistocene megafauna on my coffee mug get fleshy because I forgot to drink my coffee while it was still hot.

A white coffee mug with a giant ground sloth and saber tooth cat that turn into skeletons when the cup is full of hot coffee. A computer monitor and 3D printed volcano tissue box cover are in the background.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

Fun (?) fact I’ve learned about myself today: I can find any location in the LA area on a digital topo map in about a minute, but I still can’t drive here without navigation 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 07/04/2025

I expected the worst before traveling to Tennessee. What I found instead was a thriving queer and trans community, excellent drag, wonderful people, and restaurants that take celiac disease seriously. And the AMMP conference was amazing too.

A large, silver pickup truck with an equally large pride flag mounted near the tailgate.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

Anything by Smashing Pumpkins. It’s his voice. It’s like nails on a chalkboard and whiny and nasally and uggghhhh… Although I can handle covers of their songs. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 28/03/2025

We are way beyond the statutes of limitation, so I am happy to announce that today is the 15 year anniversary of the heist where I, along with unnamed co-conspirators, stole this rock. But is it really theft if it was mine to begin with? We liberated this rock. It’s a good rock.

A block of limestone with a bivalve fossil sitting on a table with an amethyst geode and other assorted rocks.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

It’s Science Fair Day!!! Judging the science fair today has restored a bit of my faith in the future. If we can try hold this all together until these kids have a chance to grow up and implement their ideas in the real world, we might just be ok. These kids are awesome!

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

Yes! I even paint my nails before fieldwork. It’s my weekly self-care stress relief.

Red fingernails with a black centipede design

Holographic multi-color fingernails with a back fishnet and leopard design layered over them

Red glitter fingernails with a black ants, flies, and fly trap design

A person in the desert wearing a field hat and sunglasses drinking out of a pickle jar. Her nails are painted dark purple.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 09/03/2025

That was a nice little rumble. I thought it was exciting. Loki briefly woke up. Shrimp is NOT a fan of earthquakes.

A screenshot of a map showing a 4.5 magnitude earthquake located in Westlake Village, California.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

Date night (aka an all trans table reading of A Streetcar Named Desire) was exactly what I needed to escape from all of the hatred and insanity of this year. Just a room of gorgeous, diverse, friendly people enjoying talented actors do their thing.

A group of trans actors (left to right: Chaz Bono, Alexandra Billings, Rain Valdez, Brian Michael Smith, Jamie Clayton, Theo Tiedemann, and Eve Lindley) taking a bow on stage after performing. The audience is giving them a standing ovation.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

You know what’s fucking ironic? 2024 destroyed my will to live. I finally got out of a toxic environment, found some happiness again, and now…. This fucking year. *don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. We’re gonna fight our way out of this together. Or form a commune together. Or something.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 27/02/2025

I saw the picture before I read the text and thought they were little armadillos. So now I want a herd of pride-odillos. Like now.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

I got divorced at the same time I disowned my parents. Keeping my ex’s last name seemed like the best choice at the time. It’s been 26 years and I have never regretted my choice. Until now.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

I decided to stop at the Wildlife Learning Center on my way home from Vasquez Rocks to spend some time with their sloth, Sid. Unfortunately, in true LA fashion, he left for a film shoot about an hour before I got there.

media.tenor.com

a sloth is laying on the ground on a sidewalk .

Alt: a sloth is laying on the ground on a sidewalk and crawling very slowly. The text says “ok one minute… on my way”

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 23/02/2025

It’s been a while since I’ve escaped civilization to go on a rage hike, but it was necessary this month. I should do this more often.

Tilted sandstone and conglomerate beds at Vasquez Rocks jutting into the sky at a high angle with vegetation in the foreground

A slightly faulted crack in sandstone with a small arch tunneled out by erosion

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 13/02/2025

Even with all the bullshit going on in the world, it’s nice to know that I made the right decision to leave a toxic work environment and move somewhere where I feel appreciated and have room to grow. I can’t imagine dealing with all of this AND hating my job.

A screenshot of an email that says “Yes, woot! Thank you. By the way it is great working with you. Your professionalism and expertise is appreciated and I look forward to changes that are underway and still to come. 😊”

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 13/02/2025

Things that make me proud of living in Long Beach. 🤣🤣

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

What in the actual fuck is this creepy ass sloth Coors Light commercial?!?!

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 05/02/2025

@pinuppaleontology.bsky.social you should dye your hair gorgon histo slide! LOOK AT THESE COLORS!! 😍😍

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

Once I’ve recovered from the birthday Covid, I’m taking a cue from the new Star Trek Section 31 movie and spending the last half of my 40s in my goth space villain era*. I need Michelle Yeoh’s entire wardrobe. *Villain aesthetic only. We have enough actual villains destroying the world right now.

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Melissa, Queen of the Sloths 🦥 @slothgirlmel.bsky.social · 28/01/2025

In case you need a break from the doomscrolling as much as I do, please take a moment to enjoy the cutest boyfriends sharing a cuddle session in their coffin bed

Two sleeping orange cats cuddling inside a black plush coffin-shaped cat bed with red lining.

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