iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Terrible timing in my life for my corpse to decide it no longer tolerates any antidepressants. I already hated it here

hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Was randomly reminded of this, so I thought I'd share my hottest take: I grew up in a house with actual, natural color hardwood floors, and would sooner gouge out my eyes than live with it again. Complain about greige all you want, at least it's not ugly as sin.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

That’s a good point. I can’t say I’ve shared a lot of talking points with this person, but there are plenty of things I’ve said or done from a moral OCD brain twister standpoint that I wish I could bleach from my memory. I remember tumblr and woke 1.0, and it did sound at least a little like this. 💀

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

That, and the fact that everything they write and say reads like a parody, is why my mind went straight to psyop 😭

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I need to log off before I even come close to writing these words in this order every again, but I’m pretty sure hijab-inspired secular accessory person is either CIA or, at the very least, putting them out of business

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I’m not going to say “”fakers”” don’t exist; many people lie for attention. But what about when you’re wrong? Not if, when. You’ll have been needlessly cruel bc you wanted to feel morally superior. And idk, it just feels kind of unwise to walk around, begging to be humbled.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Also doing this because my trigeminal nerve does NOT get to let me suffer over one more thing in my life

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Trying to desensitize the abundance of TRPV1 receptors my Irish ancestors gave me so I can eat foods I like, which are from parts of the world where people have a distinct lack of these in their mouths. That is to say, I have to keep taking breaks from my spicy ramen to suffer

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If this was, in fact, what I was (hypothetically) doing, please don’t hold your breath 😫 I hypothetically have a frustrating amount of bugs to work out

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Mutters something under my breath about how if I, hypothetically, finish reverse engineering an art program’s proprietary formats out of spite for the company’s policies and its stupid one core bottleneck, I will do my civic duty to share

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Because then, even more importantly than our sense of superiority being threatened, there's the terrifying idea that you can try hard and still not be able to control the outcome. But the obvious solution isn't to deny it, but rethink a society that sets so many up for failure.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I'm not saying every emotion is traceable to a single chemical, let alone that they need to be fixed. But our obsession with "self-control," "discipline"-- and, say, rejecting GLP-1s because they don't require suffering for results--hurts more people than we can bear to admit.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Whether or not this disproves free will is removed from this point and, frankly, none of my business or concern. If my will is free, cool. If it isn't, nothing changes anyway. So what? What DOES keep you trapped is thinking you can mindset your way out of a psychiatric issue.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I can take chemicals that make me functional. Others leave me lying in bed begging myself to take out the trash. There are chemicals to make you angry, happy, hungry, etc. If the past 3 years have taught me anything, it's no amount of willpower can climb a chemical wall.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

re: the ADHD discourse, I know in my bones that it boils down to neurotypicals not wanting to face the fact that we literally *are* meat suits piloted by chemicals. I'm more familiar with this than most, and I am happy to hammer this point in.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

My moral OCD, responsible for a majority of the psychic damage I receive from the internet, and I will be taking ourselves as far away from this discourse as we possibly can. Maybe one day I will know peace (doubtful)

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I’m watching a company slightly less clueless than microsoft light its own product on fire, because apparently nobody learned anything from sudden NSFW bans on the internet, ever. Celsys/CSP you are frying the last of my grace for you right now

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I’m glad I didn’t know before I’d been to college, because the actual scholarship landscape is dismal. What do you mean you might give me $1200 if I write dozens of essays, each of which would take me hours to finish and submit, when tuition is at least 20x more

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Saw another college discussion and was reminded of asking my father, who grew up dirt poor, how he paid for his BS and MS, esp since I also have a degree from his alma mater. He said he did well enough in high school that he automatically just got a scholarship to pay for it 😭

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

What I don’t really need is for my ig algorithm to think I want to see every death announcement for people and pets I and my mutuals have never heard of. This has been ongoing for months. It’s almost my entire feed. STOP. my intrusive thoughts suck enough already.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I can get out of bed without extreme effort, but the Thoughts™️ are bad enough that I’d rather be unconscious. My combination of brain worms and weak drug metabolism should never have made it this far into the gene pool, but that’s probably why my ancestors drank like fish

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Yes, I am acutely aware of how neurodivergent this makes me sound. It still has nothing on my mother recently picking up a childhood photo of me and saying, "look, it's you and your favorite things--dinosaurs and trains"

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

"Blue light is so bad for you--" have you considered: I hate warm lighting, think it makes everything look dingy, and so everything of mine is natural/daytime lighting or else. If you want to talk eye strain, warm (and especially "mood") lighting is the actual worst

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I will never understand you fools that want TKL keyboards. Tenkey is where I keep half of my shortcuts, yet every mechanical keyboard I look at is some 75% or 96% ridiculousness. If it’s less than 104 keys, get out

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Whoever decided that there would be no acrylic organizer options that fit correctly into an Alex drawer should be strung up in the town square. Whoever decided that felt was the only option we should be given is already in hell.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

People will say something absolutely bonkers like “can’t believe the rent is $1200 now :/” and I, a Californian, will be forced to realize all over again that other places don’t require 3x the $2500 monthly rent to even be considered for the average 400 sq ft studio

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I have a degree, almost two, in drugs and another in neuroscience and all I know is that we all know nothing

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Tapering antidepressants is disinhibiting drugs I wouldn’t have thought I’d need to discontinue before

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I feel the exact same way. 😫 And I can’t just reduce the dosage, because it’s not the same and it feels like the steady state itself is a problem. I’ve wondered if it simply accumulates faster than my liver can metabolize it (because I know it can’t metabolize shit).

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

What I’ve been shocked most by is that, while depression definitely made me stupid before I went on meds, being on meds at some point made me stupid

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

pros of tapering off SSRIs: can do things, am not completely stupid cons: no buffer exists between me, my intrusive thoughts, and the crushing psychological weight of being alive

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

I have to keep explaining to psychiatrists that I was permanently debuffed by my autoimmune disease and will never again get a well-rested bonus, so not only does moralizing advice bounce off me, I’m also legally allowed to shoot someone each time CBT is suggested in my vicinity

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

My bad for thinking I could fall asleep without trazodone for one night because I was already tired. That won’t happen again

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Searching for something as simple as toothpaste has become an obstacle course trying to dodge "fluoride-free" this and "preservative-free" that, meanwhile I'm begging people to put all that shit back in

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

But seriously, what do I do about this. I never had issues like this prior to being forced to upgrade, but now I’m lucky if I get readings at all 🤪 or am even informed it stopped working six hours ago.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

This is going to be a niche complaint, but the Dexcom G7 is actually terrible. More than half the time it “loses signal.” Even when it doesn’t lose signal, it reports that it’s lost signal but still sends the data to my Omnipod. No amount of restarting my phone/apps/BT fixes it.

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Reposted by hanguang jace ☁️❄️

Diana Chan @thingsbydiana.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

✨🌸 Cherry blossom fox

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

It really is 😫 I don’t like having more intrusive thoughts, but the alternative being “literally can’t do anything” is substantially worse, lol. I’ve heard antidepressant-induced apathy can take time to show up, but. man.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

I knew serotonergic apathy was contributing, I just didn’t realize my biochemistry would up doing a total 180 where “needs supratherapeutic doses to get out of bed” turned into “taking any amount means not getting out of bed.” Crappy to experience, but chemically fascinating

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

These past few days have been the longest month of my life, but at least I learned that the only thing I needed to do to get my executive function and ability to do basic tasks back was to... stop taking all antidepressants 💀

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

just dealt with the most harrowing administrative experience of my life. Thought my life was over a few times. It isn’t, yet, but.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

In *that* context, that is definitely good news and I’m very glad it isn’t cancer (and that it wasn’t being said to make Hashimoto’s sound trivial by comparison)

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I jumped the gun a little bit, I assumed it was said in a context like “oh, you should be grateful because it’s not cancer :)” given how often that line is thrown at those with chronic illnesses. 😅

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I wanted to say “oh, you’re the one the Google reviews mentioned,” but I don’t like mocking children. She then gave me more incorrect directions, then said, “see we’re both being goofy today :)))”. Thus my daily act of kindness was letting her speak to me without further incident

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

She then told me, incorrectly, that I needed something. Her smiling intensified to incandescent levels and I watched her literally *stamp her feet on the ground* and go “I just told you to PUT :) IT :) AWAY :)”

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I misheard Impending Detonation Event’s question and asked how she was doing. There were a solid few seconds of silence before she went “:))) You know, I actually asked you what course you were in :)))” I’m sorry, I’ll go back in time real quick and un-ruin your day

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

One of my least favorite types of people is Intensely Smiling to Hide Their Misplaced Rage While Being Condescending as Fuck

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

That is a phrase I would like to have absolutely obliterated from human language. Although I’m glad there’s at least a label to put on it, I’m sorry you have to deal with it, let alone it being minimized right out the gate.

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hanguang jace ☁️❄️ @skyvales.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Thank you! I've talked myself down from catastrophizing, at least, and I'll honestly just be thrilled when it's over today regardless of the outcome 🫠

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