iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

These two things don't go together lmao I got drunk and high and ended up at Macca's

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

My psoriasis and contact dermatitis is so fucking bad right now that I can't actually use fingerprint biometrics it doesn't work, my fingerprints are literally remodeling themselves

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

And in case anyone's been wondering how I'm going (let's just pretend for a moment) I have walked into highway traffic once and thought about jumping in front of public transit multiple times. So yeah not great times at the El Brain Royale. But I have a new phone at least.

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Comprehensively destroyed my phone last week and am locked out of half my shit so anyone who tried to contact me I may not have gotten it

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I have now had two exes sexually assault me during my stupid weak moments of having a post breakup hookup because I wanted to feel that they felt ANYTHING about me besides complete and utter loathing and contempt (both times that's all she wrote). You give away a piece of yourself you don't get back

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

My gear collection keeps growing everyone warned me and they were right but check out these sexy bitches I got for 500 all up today (RRP 1.2kish, mic and sampler literally never been used)

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

i could really do without trying to fall asleep to the sounds of people having a satisfying sex life when I don't have one

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Lolll this is from a year ago well I sure added a lot more to my plate since then didn't I

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

should have stayed gone the first time ay. oh well, lesson learned four times but learned well because of that

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

I think about that a lot and how awful it must have been to watch in me, knowing what you were seeing was wrong, comparing notes with people who saw it too but not knowing what to do while seeing my spirit being crushed like that. I'm out the other side of it now but yeah. woof.

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Someone told me recently they were given a bouquet of sunflowers (she hates bouquets for the same reason I do, you're giving someone something that's dead) and that watching them wilt was like watching me die - starved of sunlight, suffocating, fading away, the light in me just going out

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

watching my friends get boyfriends being like I'M SURE THAT DICK I ORDERED WILL BE ARRIVING ANY DAY NOW

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

oh no i thought of another PhD project don't make me have to get a bachelors in music too (this is inevitable at this point)

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

lord save me from people who go 'I wAnT aN oPeN ReLaTiOnShIp' no you just want to be able to cheat on me and *maybe* tell me afterwards if you think I'm going to find out. Rules are rules bitch and 'check in with your partner if you're about to do something for the first time' is a fucking basic one

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I'm going to try break into modelling too just for shits and giggles, I floated it as a joke but everyone keeps telling me I should do it so 🤷 I guess I wear clothes well??

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I also have to find time amongst all of this to go back to big boy University to work towards my PhD, and also develop a medical app that I got talking to a pharmacist recently and they told me it has the potential to be absolutely game-changing, and it sounds like I've got my work cut out for me

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

So apparently next week I have chemotherapy, a procedure involving a general anaesthetic and an urgent neuroinflammatory clinic review all on the same day. Jesus Christ the Alfred is a fucking clown show

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I've also got plans for a book I'm going to write, have a whole bunch of music gear thrifted and reclaimed to make one kickass studio setup, weirdo conceptual art pieces in the works, gonna start selling my poetry and photography at art markets. Reclaiming my life! Moving forward! Leaving it behind!

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

pleased to announce I'm going back to school next year to get sound engineer quals. I think about music 24/7, the emotional architecture of sound has become part of my DNA and I'm never not deeply analysing what I'm listening to. This feels like what I should be doing with all that

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

though there's always old faithful narcissistic personality disorder

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

man, you think you know how to spot all the things and then BAM, antisocial personality disorder out of nowhere

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

i haven't had any good dick for like three weeks and it's starting to bum me out

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Talked shit with the locals, shared my poetry inc with a guy in his early 20s who was VISIBLY shook by what he read (and said as much) even without any context behind it. He said 'if you can do that, to someone like me, who knows nothing of what this is about, you've got something fucking special'

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Took myself on a Catventure in Dromana, ended up at a random bar where some woman immediately said YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE INTERESTING COME HANG WITH US! and I remarked that I wasn't sure what to expect but it was popping off and fun. Was told 'it wasn't like that before you came and brought the vibe'

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Just remembered when I was at that random club in Brisbane I was fucking MOONWALKING on the hard techno floor and people everywhere were filming it

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Late night adventures with my girlies who look like they're cosplaying The Craft (this was apparently the correct reaction)

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

I'll probably end up with something from each track lol but this album, and tour, hit exactly when I needed them to. When I needed the universe to smack me across the head and say 'what are you doing you fool?'. It's marked and changed me forever, doing this thing

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

more lyrics for tattoos, from Ghost: 'forget the truth preserve the evidence / it takes a fool to deny what is so evident' and possibly 'i hope this precious balancing act is worth the pain'

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Gonna get this from Reanimation off In Verses tattooed on me as well I've decided. Maybe on my thigh

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Oh no I think I have covid :( just paid 30 bucks for this Parma at Abbey Road and I cant taste ANYTHING

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Oh in case anyone is interested I AM going to do the PhD I keep saying I should and I already know what the project will be and it's going to change so many lives and revolutionise some shit if I do it right

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Lyrics to everything on In Verses by Karnivool be hitting rn

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

ok Brisbane i owe you a slight apology I had a lot of fun making some really dumb decisions last night, you're alright, I'll be back

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

I'm baaaaaack and despite me shitting on Brisbane I actually had a fucking amazing final night there but holy shit am I wrecked now

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

I met them as coming out of the bathroom of the pub I was leaving cuz it was closing, they were on their way home and we ended up standing around talking for like two hours I was incredibly high it was great

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

i did meet some really awesome people last night including a couple who the male partner was trans, i was like oh fuck dude if you hadn't told me I would NEVER have guessed and then we talked about that stuff for a while, they're gonna hit me up next time they're in Melb (which is often)

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

oh no this is a real life location based thing haha the entire almost 24 hours before I finally got to last night's gig was a complete shitshow fuck Brisbane airport holy shit and so many people here are rude dickheads

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

The vocalist has seen me at almost every show absolutely losing it, breaking down shaking and crying to the encore of Salva and Opal. Even in Melbourne where I was seated for an arena gig he spotted me earlier and pointed at me then put a heart on his fist while nodding. I'll never forget that

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Never gotten a tattoo before but after this tour I'm going to get (and get it based on my own writing so it's "me" in there), the name of my most played track from the new album - so 'Aozora' on my left forearm, and the lines 'These things always go south, we failed to dig our way out' on the right

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

ooh someone big mad look at all the fucks I have to give oh that's right I tossed those out of my suitcase before catching a plane to Brisbabne (this place is fucking weirrrrrd!)

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

There are actual fucking children hitting on me at this club it is WEIRD

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

The best compliment I ever got paid about my dancing was last night: 'bro, your whiteness is an optical illusion'

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

I know he's seen me in the crowd at every show (my look is pretty distinctive lol), I'm going to be sure to be right on the barrier in the middle at Brisbane tonight

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

How close I got to the boys in Sydney. Ian was singing directly to me, eyes locked, for a full minute during Opal when I was a complete mess just wracked with sobs #Karnivool #InVerses #tour

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PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Perth is fucked if only for the reason I had to pay THIRTY FUCKING DOLLARS for a pack of double happiness

PTSD Barnum @sirlolsworthy.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

oh yeah I'm Cassandra you know it, except I'm always the one who didn't want to believe lol. I reference it in the poem 'Ashes' on my furballsofsteel blog, I'm incredibly proud of it