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Silva Neves

@silvaneves.bsky.social
214 followers 24 following 530 posts

Award-winning psychosexual & relationship psychotherapist. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ Author. Speaker. Media. AccCOSRT. UKCP.

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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
It can be made of two or three close friends who accept you just as you are, whom you can call upon when you have a shame “leak”. Speaking about shame with trusted friends can help you make sense of it and the situation in which it occurred. It’s part of self-care 💜
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Do you have a Shame Team? Shame is a big emotion and sometimes it can feel devastating. I learned from shame expert Lisa Etherson that it is a good idea to have a Shame Team.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
It was a joy to spend quality time with gorgeous colleagues to celebrate our dearest friend Rima Hawkins for being the NEW Pink Therapy CEO! 💖
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
It was great to be in Manchester again! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ I love Northerners! ☀️ Manchester does Gay Village better than any other cities! 🌈❤️
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
There has been so much interests about my peer-reviewed article on c*mdumps that I have decided to post a summary of it on Substack! Enjoy! 🌈 silvaneves.substack.com/p/the-kink-o... If you want to read the full peer-reviewed article, here it is: www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....
silvaneves.substack.com
The kink of Cumdump
If you are a gay or bisexual man in a large city using hook-up apps, it is likely that you came across the term “cumdump”.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
highly recommend this workshop by Lucy Rowett: “Healing from Purity Culture”. lucyrowett.podia.com/healing-from...
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
To find a sex-positive therapist, have a look at this list 👇 www.sexpositivityuk.com/compulsive-s...
sexpositivityuk.com
Find A Therapist
A list of hand-picked specialists in Compulsive Sexual Behaviours trained by Silva Neves and CICS
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
But luckily, there are now multiple therapeutic approaches to work with sexual compulsivity, and there is a growing number of international specialist psychotherapists working with ethical and sex-positive methods that won’t make clients be afraid of their erotic mind.
sexpositivityuk.com
Find A Therapist
A list of hand-picked specialists in Compulsive Sexual Behaviours trained by Silva Neves and CICS
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
People still tell me that they were told not to have sexual thoughts or fantasies because that will keep them in the “sex addiction cycle”….. Unfortunately, this addiction narrative is still peddled in 2026….
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Yes! You’re in the article!
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
If you want to read my peer-reviewed article in the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal: www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.... @hudsonncorey.bsky.social @ryancummingsjff.bsky.social
gaytimes.com
A Beginner's Guide to Cumdumping
Katie Baskerville speaks with cumdumps and community holes to find out what it means to love the stranger. Plus: Everything you need to know about being a cumdump
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
It was a pleasure to talk with Katie Baskerville about my peer-reviewed article on c*mdumps. A niche kink is not a disorder. A lot of queer men practice c*mdumping without negative effects, and as a way of celebrating their sexuality. www.gaytimes.com/a-beginners-...
gaytimes.com
A Beginner's Guide to Cumdumping
Katie Baskerville speaks with cumdumps and community holes to find out what it means to love the stranger. Plus: Everything you need to know about being a cumdump
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Want to know more? You can read my peer-reviewed article published in The Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal: www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.... And read my blog on Psychology Today: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talk...
tandfonline.com
Homonormativity, queer “homo-norms”, and the sex lives of young gay men
This article is a theoretical essay based on clinical practice. The term “homonormativity” refers to society’s cultural “rules” of “normal” imposed on LGBTQ+ people as the “correct way” to be so th...
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Some of those “norms” are: to be middle-class, with a good body, successful in career, monogamous, etc. These values aren’t a problem per se, but can become a problem when adopting those values repress their genuine LGBTQ selves and expressions, and compete with each other to be “the good gay”.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Have you heard of “homonormativity”? It is when LGBTQ+ people adopt a “correct” way to be LGBTQ based on the heteronormative society. In other words, it is a way for LGBTQ people to feel accepted by the heterosexist world by appeasing them.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
She’s also doing wonderful work in psychosexual therapy and neurodiversity, bringing a unique model to better help clients. So we had to drink champagne to celebrate her! www.psychotherapydoncaster.co.uk
psychotherapydoncaster.co.uk
JM Psychotherapy | Counselling | Doncaster
Healing hearts & minds... Humanistic & Integrative Psychotherapy in Doncaster. ​
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
It was great to spend some time with Julie Marshall today while she’s visiting London. Julie wrote a fantastic chapter on compulsive sexual behaviour and neurodiversity in our Routledge International Handbook of Sexual Compulsivity and Clinical Sexology.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
It was great to see Ben Kaye today. He’s doing so much fantastic work on Chemsex for the community, academically and clinically. And we are planning a project together! Watch this space! 💜
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
I’m so pleased that my book “Sexual Diversity” was reviewed by Dr Aisling McAleese in the special issue of The Psychologist on sex “Let’s Talk About Sex”. ❤️ Here’s the link if you want to buy the book: www.karnacbooks.com/product/sexu...
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Here’s my latest blog for Psychology Today: what is homonormativity? 🏳️‍🌈 www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talk... It is a brief summary of my article published in The Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal on this subject. This is the full article: www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.... Enjoy!
psychologytoday.com
What Is Homonormativity?
Homonormativity can silently pull the strings of common psychological disturbances. It is crucial to be aware of it so that you can examine it.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
When the space is made of love and inclusivity, everyone comes together, younger and older people, of all colours, and all backgrounds, and multiple flags representing diverse queer identities, as well as our gorgeous allies 🌈 Have a great day! 🌈☀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🩷
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Happy Pride! 🌈🩷🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ It is important to support the smaller Pride events because queer people live in big cities and small towns. Today, I’m celebrating Basingstoke Pride. It was good to see Basingstoke MP Luke Murphy! 🌈
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
I’m honoured to have been invited to contribute to The British Psychological Society’s journal The Psychologist’s special issue: “Let’s Talk About Sex”. My piece is on exploring the landscape of eroticism 🩷 www.bps.org.uk/psychologist...
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
If you want to know more, you can read my peer-reviewed article: www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....
tandfonline.com
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
In my conversations with c*mdumps, one of the most discussed erotic cornerstones was anticipation. The preparation, and the thrill of knowing men are on their way are parts of the c*mdump’s arousal.
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Reposted by Silva Neves
The Psychologist @psychmag.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Exploring the landscape of eroticism… @silvaneves.bsky.social challenges normative assumptions in therapy… www.bps.org.uk/psychologist...
bps.org.uk
Exploring the landscape of eroticism | BPS
Silva Neves challenges normative assumptions in therapy…
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Do you want to know more about sexual consent? I was a guest on the ISSM Uncovered Podcast discussing this topic. It was recorded during the ESSM/ISSM World meeting in Porto earlier this year. Enjoy! www.issm.info/meetings/iss...
issm.info
Episode 63: Navigating sexual consent - ISSM
The International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM) is established to promote research and exchange of knowledge in the field of human sexuality.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
True freedom is when we are all free and safe to be who we are 🌈
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Queer people are not asking for special rights. We’re asking for ordinary rights: not looking over our shoulders before we kiss our lover. Hold hands without fear. Wear what we love. Live a life without being harmed, politicised and/or pathologised 🌈
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Our most fundamental human right is to be who we are and love who we love freely 🌈
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
It was amazing to attend World Pride in Amsterdam 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇳🇱🌈 World Pride is important because all LGBTQ+ people on the planet should live free of oppression, discrimination, pathologisation, without fear of murder, and without shame 🌈
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Here’s Dr Gifford’s study: www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.... Here’s mine: www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.... @hudsonncorey.bsky.social @cagedpussyboy.bsky.social
tandfonline.com
‘So, it’s like they’re a human dildo for me … ‘: exploring the experiences and motivations of individuals who identify as a ‘cumdump’ – an IPA study
While existing research has explored practices such as barebacking and fetishised ‘cum play’, the identity of the ‘cumdump’, understood as a receptive partner whose primary sexual goal is to receiv...
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
It was fantastic to meet Dr Anthony Gifford in Birmingham! He published a study on cu*dumps just about one month before mine! And we came up with the same conclusions! Queer minds think alike, I guess! Perhaps it is the Summer of C*mdump Pride! 🌈🌈🌈🌈
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
I’m so very proud to have co-authored a peer-reviewed article with Dr Rafael Herrero in France’s leading scientific journal in sexology on compulsive sexual behaviours 🇫🇷
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Some people believe that we, queer people, are an abomination and we will go to Hell. I think Hell is not in the afterlife, it is in the living. If you have hate in your heart, if you hate people who are different from you so much, that’s the real abomination and that’s living in Hell.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
I’m so pleased that Queerty picked up on my peer-reviewed article in the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal on c*md*mps! 🌈❤️💦 www.queerty.com/the-psycholo... @hudsonncorey.bsky.social @cagedpussyboy.bsky.social @misterpoundcake.bsky.social
queerty.com
The psychology of the "load count": Unpacking the surprising self-esteem benefits of a growing group sex kink - Queerty
Silva Neves says the practice is increasing since the rise in popularity of PrEP and DoxyPEP.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
If you want to know more about one of the “niche” kinks, you can read my peer-reviewed article on c*md*mps. 👇 www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.... @hudsonncorey.bsky.social @cagedpussyboy.bsky.social @toddverow.bsky.social
tandfonline.com
Cumdump: an emerging kink for queer men
Cumdump is a specific sexual behaviour that has increased in popularity over the last few years amongst queer men. It describes receiving semen inside the rectum, and sometimes in the mouth, from m...
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
A niche kink - or even a common kink - is not a disorder. Being “different” or “atypical” does not mean “deviant”, “dangerous” or “pathological”. It just means… different. In fact, “different” is the usual because sexuality is so diverse that there isn’t any “normal”.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
My goodness! It looks like it is the Summer of publications for me! 😂 Another peer-reviewed article has just been published in the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal. It is a theoretical essay on homonormativity. 🏳️‍🌈❤️ ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷🩵🖤🤎 www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....
tandfonline.com
Homonormativity, queer “homo-norms”, and the sex lives of young gay men
This article is a theoretical essay based on clinical practice. The term “homonormativity” refers to society’s cultural “rules” of “normal” imposed on LGBTQ+ people as the “correct way” to be so th...
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
It’s an immense honour to be published in the journal Sexologies on compulsive sexual behaviours. It is my first article written in French, and it was a great pleasure to co-author the article with the brilliant Dr Rafael Herrero.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
C’est un immense honneur d’être publié dans la revue Sexologies sur les comportements sexuels compulsifs. C’est mon premier article écrit en français, et c’etait un grand plaisir de co-écrire cet article avec le brillant Dr Rafael Herrero 🇫🇷❤️🇫🇷❤️
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Sex-positivity may be a buzz word for some, but, for me, it is a central philosophy of my work and my life 💖🌈💖🌈💖 Together we can co-create a more sex-positive online space. It is much needed! Have a great day! ❤️☀️❤️☀️
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
It is truly special for me to see so many of you liking and sharing my post about the article. Highlighting the voices of people who are sexually marginalised, misunderstood and often pathologised is one of my passions 💜
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Thank you to all my new followers and thank you for your interest in my latest article on c*md*mps 💖 My post on my c*md*mp article received over 4,000 likes 👍 and 14K shares ✈️ on Instagram! 💖WOW!💖 @toddverow.bsky.social @hudsonncorey.bsky.social @cagedpussyboy.bsky.social
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
It was fantastic to celebrate the book launch of “Women’s Health Made Easy” written by Dr Carys Sonnenberg, Dr Angela Wright and Dr Angela Sharma at The Vagina Museum. The book is a wonderful resource to improve women’s health care! 💖 Congratulations to the authors! 💖💖💖
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I’m thrilled to announce that my new peer-reviewed article has just been published in the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal. This article is an essay on “Cumdump as an emerging kink for queer men”. Here’s the article: www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....
tandfonline.com
Cumdump: an emerging kink for queer men
Cumdump is a specific sexual behaviour that has increased in popularity over the last few years amongst queer men. It describes receiving semen inside the rectum, and sometimes in the mouth, from m...
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
I wish France, my French friends and all the French immigrants living abroad a fantastic 14th July! Bon 14 juillet! 🇫🇷🎉💙❤️
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
I’m so chuffed that Queerty picked up my blog about gay men visiting sex clubs on Psychology Today and wrote their own article about it! www.queerty.com/a-therapist-... My original blog on Psychology Today is here 👇 www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talk... Enjoy! 🌈
queerty.com
A therapist explains the benefits for gay men of visiting sex clubs - Queerty
And it extends beyond simply getting your rocks off.
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Hello! I’m Silva Neves 🧠 A psychotherapist ❤️ Specialised in sex, relationships, trauma and grief 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ A member of the LGBTQ+ community and working extensively with the LGBTQ+ community 📚 An author 📣 A speaker ☀️ Thank you for connecting!
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Silva Neves @silvaneves.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
It was fantastic to march with UKCP at the London Pride! 🌈 It is the first year that UKCP is on the London Pride march. It is crucial for the psychotherapy profession to show up for Pride and queer people 💖🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💖 Happy Pride to all! 🌈💖🌈
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