iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 3h

He didn't ghost you; he passed the controller. Now go find who he passed it to. 🎮

RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 3h

I'm making 3 soups this week: clam chowder, corn chowder, and creamy chicken, vegetable, and wild rice. 3 chowders, really. I'm making 3 chowders. Also, I'm not super sure what qualifies as a chowder.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 12h

Pleased as punch me in the face right now, jfc I need to go to sleep and sleep is not arriving for me. If I fall asleep in 4 minutes, I still get 5.75 hours of sleep. It's not enough, but it's enough.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 12h

I have been really into turning my motorcycle into a sportier version of itself instead of buying a sportbike. Tried clipon handlebars: way too folded over feeling. Tried a drag bar but the triple tree had no clearance for some of the cables. So I'm back to mini-apes. And that's fine. 😤

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 12h

Maybe I don't have to brush before bed... just this once...

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

"Uh, it's actually 'something wicked IS coming THIS way'." -me, moments before I'm eviscerated

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I have a huge list of stuff to do today, including shopping and filling this house with food only for everyone who is not me to tell me there's "nothing to eat!", and it's already getting hot outside.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

If your last name is Duckworth and I have never seen your face, I immediately envision you as an anthropomorphic duck character on Ducktales.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Introducing my old barbell, Toby Keith (because I Love This Bar), to my new barbell, Julie Newbar.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

There's a tendency when guys turn like 30-ish to start dressing like they're on Peaky Blinders. The suspenders, the flat cap, a waistcoat and wool trousers. I don't dislike it (I'm a man over 30 after all), but I do think it's a little "Queen Victoria excitedly awaits the arrival of your airship".

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I made my son, by request, a box of Pasta-Roni. "Ugh, this is not the best macros and I bet he hasn't had any protein or fruit all day. Maybe he shouldn't eat the whole pot..." And that's how I ate half a pot of Pasta-Roni an hour before dinner.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Holy shit, this stuff smells amazing. As it blends with my body scent and the harsher top notes fade out it gets more intoxicatingly vanilla-musky.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Maybe Jarvis from Iron Man was a sexy characterization of AI meant to ease us into the "super intelligent" robots that will be used to quell (pepper spray) the upcoming rebellion (humans fighting to survive off the scraps the billionaires deigned to leave for us)?

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

While I wait for my Nasomatto order from Scent Split, I will keep my nostrils amused by smelling like smoked tea, coconut milk, crushed cedar, and ebony wood.

Person's hand holding up a black bottle of Tokyo Milk Bulletproof parfum with a gun illustration on it.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

"Father! It's back! The black snake attached to my bottom! Get it!"

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I recently discovered that Mark Hamill likes his tuna sandwich with salt, pepper, and a squeeze of lemon, and NO mayonnaise. I am sickened. And sad.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Never again am I making a deal with an evil wizard. This is ridiculous. I'm already not allowed to ever drink RC Cola and Cheerwine, nor am I ever allowed to enjoy stuffing or yams at Thanksgiving. WHY DO I KEEP ASKING THESE WIZARDS FOR MORE GIRTH?

Two have to go forever, casserole edition, I guess?

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Welp, I'm almost 45 years old. Time to enter the biohacking phase of being a shitty tech bro!

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I would kill for a degauss button at the base of my skull, like old CRT monitors used to have on them.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I feel the fatherly desire to ensure that my family has enough protein. To that end I have purchased a new shake blender that comes with three shake cups/lids, and two types of protein powder: chocolate and marshmallow flavors. This kids will be swole or I will die trying. Or they will. Someone.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

This is the place what writes all them steamy novels ain't it.

Daniel Steel Mill exterior. Probably some hunky dudes in there.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

If the early bird gets the worm but things that you are better off not having are "for the birds", why the hell would I get up early?

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

My god. Hair taking up the whole frame. Negative space? Nah, hair space.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The Cornell Gang Rape case has given me a bad case of "yeah, I'm going to make a big deal about this because it's a major news story so people know the details, which makes this is an important time to talk about rape and refusal to prosecute and I'm ultra mad because it happens every fucking day".

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Punk-tip: If a party invitation says that it goes from "4pm until ???" you can treat that as a written contract to squat in their house.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I'm not a great poet and I have trouble with the endings so I like to end all of my poems in a way that makes people assume there was some kind of truncation error: [show more]

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

This is one of the best songs I've ever heard. It's a simple and poignant song about grief and I wish I'd wrote it myself. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa1L...

youtube.com

Aubory Bugg - ive come to realize

YouTube video by A Blanket & A Cuppa Tea

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

When people bring up dads and mine died about 6 years ago, if I have to say anything like "oh, he's dead", they say "oh no, I'm so sorry". Which is a nice thing to say. But most of the time when I think of my dad, the thought that follow it immediately is "gawd damn, what an asshole".

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

This pretty well sums up my Bsky experience thus far.

Someone named "Saeed Family - please my family needs you" reposted my silly post about a banana gun.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Well punk, I guess you're asking yourself, "Did he fire 6 shots or did he fire 5?" Well I lost track too. Maybe I fired none. Maybe the deep state fired the shots. Maybe I fired a hundred. Maybe this gun is a banana. *holds banana to ear, says hello?* *banana goes off, dies instantly*

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Made a new egg salad recipe today except instead of mayonnaise I used mustard and instead of chopped pickle I used aquarium gravel. 1/10 - Not good. Would not make again.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Me: Time for some new shoes. How about these? (Shows him some classic Pumas and Adidas sneakers online). Son: Those are hella ugly. Gross. Me: Okay, what shoes do you want? Son: (Shows me a pair of Hey Dudes.) Me: Get. The Fuck. Out. Of. My. House.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Are you fucking telling me that a HORSE... drew this beautiful carriage?

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

For a "computer guy" I fucking suck at this lol.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Sometimes I forget that I clicked on someone's profile to follow them and I start scrolling it like my regular feed, liking a bunch of their posts and reposts and then I realize I've liked everything going back 10 months and that's creepy. So, like, my bad. 🤷‍♂️

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I was not super sure about these sneakers because they are a little too hip for this old man BUT they have a double zipper on the back with a loop pull tab that makes them very easy to get on and off and if that's not old-person coded then I don't know what is.

Double zipper with pull loop on the back for my gnarled old dwarven hands.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

The Italian-American pronunciation of Italian cured meats is quite simple: you must say the Italian name for the meat with a mouth packed full of that exact meat. "Capocollo" becomes "GABBAGOOL". "Prosciutto" becomes "BRUH-ZHOOT". And so on.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

My kids: If all the lights went out, the floods from El Nino hit the house and we ran out of food, what would we eat? Me: The neighbor's food. Kids: ... Me: What? I told you before: if push comes to shove, I can't farm or build shit; we're going full on raiders. Kids: 😦 Me: Possibly cannibals.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I bundled up, donned my armor, and braved the wastes to raid the local market for some vegetables to feed my family. A carrot, an onion, and three potatoes. Tonight we feast! (I'm making clam chowder!)

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I had a super greasy ham, cheese, egg, jalapeno on smashed croissant breakfast sando and that was a bad way to start my nutrition for the day because now I feel like throwing up and also going to bed.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Minus the racist part, this is pretty spot on for most of my couple friends (and maayyyyybe me).

Short racist dwarf with goth elf (tiefling) girlfriend.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Hot cross buns are the sexiest of baked good because "hot" and "buns" obviously but also "cross" because what like are you pouty and coy? Or maybe choking the life out of me? Either way, I'm in.

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RishooOOOOooooo 🎃 @shmortalcoil.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Sit on the floor? With no pillow or anything? Like some kind of thin person? Ugh.

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