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altymonster

@shhhhhhcago.bsky.social
878 followers 347 following 117 posts

putting the “shh” in Chicago a place to do what I do best: be slutty and have strong opinions

PostsRepliesMedia
altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
just read a straight man's take on La Bola Negra that's so wildly off it's borderline offensive...I'm sticking to queer critics in general from now on
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Meet me in the woods
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I'm at a gay campsite for the weekend and just overheard someone say "Chanty Beluga is an ally" so I'm absolutely in the right place
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Haven’t properly celebrated FCF in a while, mea culpa
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
My weekend trip with straight boys has proved to me that they do indeed talk about dicks (theirs and others) nonstop
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
At a bachelor weekend with a bunch of straight boys and this is all that’s in the shower (took a panic nude as a fear response)
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Might get really into sunglasses 😎
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
The types of hole pics I’m getting on the apps in my backwoods hometown look like they’re asking for medical advice
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Experienced the beautiful and sacred full breadth of the homosexual experience last night* *got fucked by a daddy top while his bottom husband watched, then fucked the bottom while the top watched
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Vacay horny HELP
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Reposted by altymonster
The Wor$t Tall in America @talltbh.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Just know if you’re on the cf
A bunch of people trying to tackle a man with a microphone with the caption “would”
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
I do this too, I love being an encouraging top coaching my bottom
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
I don't hate her but I think I've had enough of Silky to last a lifetime. 4 attempts at a crown in less than a decade is more than enough.
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
took off my cock ring and discovered that it is not, in fact, MY cock ring…it’s a slutty mystery 🕵️‍♀️
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Reposted by altymonster
GænyMede ⚡️ @gnymd.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
a rare angle 4 me
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Rewatched La La Land for the first time in almost a decade...remember when it was the acceptable and almost REQUIRED position to consider that movie the devil? Woke 1.0 was a different world
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
douching to the Disclosure Day soundtrack
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
I love when I post a (controversial?) opinion and a bunch of randos hop into the replies to tell me how wrong I am, as if the idea of them getting so mad about my thoughts that they take the time to write about their displeasure doesn't give me a crazy serotonin boost 😇
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Today I interviewed half a dozen Drag Race queens, recorded a Tony predictions podcast, had a gay coffee date and gay sex (separately). Day 1 of Pride Month ✅
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
If I found Sorry to Bother You totally obnoxious and irritating, should I even bother with I Love Boosters? I’m curious…
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
Back home, back to my own mirror, back to walking around my apartment naked at all times
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
Reading positive reviews of some of the most painfully dull, obnoxiously slow movies I saw at Cannes…I really do think some critics (not all!) are sometimes faking it because they’re afraid of being seen as unintellectual. Some movies are just boring!!!
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
Two nights in a row at the nudist cruising bar in Paris, but tonight I ended it with cheese and French onion soup at 3:30 am (or I guess just…onion soup?)
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Sitting in a cafe in Paris, drinking an espresso at 8:30 pm, with the Cannes awards playing in one window and Sniffies open in another...genuinely living my absolute ideal life
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Cannes has been a wonderful cinematic experience, but today’s highlight was definitely a French boy asking me “Can you give me your bébés?” while riding me
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
My ancestors crossed an ocean so that one day I could take my dick out while flying over it
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Came inside a guy last night while his boyfriend came in me…sharing resources is so beautiful
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Insane workout this morning 🥵
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
hey boy, comfortable down there?
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
you know what? I’ll take it 💪
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Life gets so much easier when you realize you don’t have to cum to have fun in bed
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Do I swim out of this existential black hole with sex or sugar or sleep…for now I’m just posting a nude for a temporary thrill idk
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
All these loving reviews for Faces of Death are making me feel insane. I found it so stagnant wtf
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
Fucking on the clock feels so powerful, clap if you agree
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
Reeeeeally in the mood to have someone ride me 🚴‍♂️
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
When someone with a hairy chest talks about trimming it, it feels like exactly they’ve shot me with a gun
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
yesterday I fucked up my back by doing the daring, reckless act of walking across my floor. Pray for my broken body 👴🏻
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
until the pie shop looks like chernobyl 🥵
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
having a very good time sending this pit pic to very good boys
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
help, the older gays are sharing their AI-generated protest signs for No Kings in the group chat
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
feeling kinda vein
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
Went to send a nude to a boy but almost accidentally sent this
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
new dance costume for tonight’s show 😇
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
so we’re getting married
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
went to local coffee shop before I'd showered or put myself together and of course the hottest barista is working while I'm looking like this
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
hot bald daddy running to be my county commissioner followed me back on insta, should I slide in his DMs 🫦 is this my Lady Macbeth moment
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
Set myself a trap in my CF story and gave myself a lovely day 🥵
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altymonster @shhhhhhcago.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
said something vaguely sorta critical about The S*cr*t Ag*nt on a prediction video and I'm genuinely nervous about it 🙃
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Reposted by altymonster
Cody @codymonster91.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
Back-up dancing for some drag queens! 💃
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