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Brent Shepherd (he/him)

@shepcatzero.bsky.social
374 followers 432 following 3.3K posts

Down these mean skeets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid.

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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Steve Arlo (Ben Stiller) receives instructions over the phone from his employer, private detective Daryl Zero (Bill Pullman) as they sit in the same bank of airport pay phones in ZERO EFFECT (Kasdan, 1998).
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Think how lucky I am to have been seated here with you. Luminous. Alluring. The smartest girl I ever spent the night with on a train.
Eva Marie Saint in NORTH BY NORTHWEST (Hitchcock, 1959)
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Colson Whitehead. Harlem, 1986. A work of fiction, yes, but a prescription for our times, a broader interpretation of “termination for cause.”
From COOL MACHINE by Colson Whitehead (Doubleday, 2026):

Last week Carney had fired Jerome the sales associate after he admitted that he had voted for Reagan, not once but twice. “What this country needs is a good kick in the ass, you know.” Carney showed him the door. What message did it send to the community to hire people of such low character?
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Kash Patel's girlfriend says she fell in love with him because he made her feel seen.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Client: We’re hoping you can help us out. We don’t have a lot of money left in the budget after the logo, but we’d like to add sort of a mascot for our product line that’s just, like, absolute fuckin’ nightmare fuel. Graphic Designer: I got you, fam.
On the logo for a commercial brand of cleaning products, emerging over the top of black-outlined yellow lettering against a green background, a black-and-white line drawing depicts the top half of a sealed steel drum, which has been anthropomorphized with a broadly smiling, poorly proportioned face (eyes uneven, one ear larger than the other, wide nose shaped like a bell pepper) and totally fuckin’ jacked biceps and forearms ending in clenched fists. Beside the drawing is a registration mark (®️), because you wouldn’t want anyone trying to poach this Boschian phone pad doodle in the public domain.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Speakeasy unisex restroom, in lieu of a mirror over the sink.
Against a red-painted wall, a gilded frame around a printout of the following words:

YOU

ARE

BEAUTIFUL.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The occupational hazard dictates that one is momentarily stopped in one’s tracks by the question of Stevens’s vs. Stevenses’ (the latter being the correct plural possessive) before allowing that an apostrophe also serves to indicate omitted letters. A technicality. #ShepcatEditsEverything
The upper left corner of page 138 of Colson Whitehead’s COOL MACHINE, the image centered on the following snippet:

the Stevens’s July Fourth cookout
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Casting my vote for Angelyne pink instead of Mary Kay pink.
Famous-for-being-famous Hollywood billboard legend Angelyne performs the splits atop her signature pink Corvette.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
The 437 area code serves Toronto, Ontario, so naturally I blame Trump’s ill-conceived trade war with our neighbors and traditional allies for this unprecedented instance of a Canadian phisher attempting to start shit from 1,000 miles away. It’s alarming. They’re ordinarily so polite.
+1 (437) 233-4786 
Text Message • SMS
Today 3:07 PM

This parking spot belongs to me. I need you to move your vehicle NOW, or I'll contact property management and request a tow.

If you did not expect this message from an unknown sender, it may be spam.

Report Spam
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I'm presently making my way through the text of the bipartisan Protect College Sports Act, and I'm thinking this provision should be applicable to all American wage earners and not just student-athletes engaged in NIL agreements, particularly given the stagnation of the Federal minimum wage.
8    (B) ADJUSTMENT FOR INFLATION.—An 
9    intercollegiate athletic association shall adjust 
10  the amount described in clause (i) for inflation 
11   by the percent increase, if any, in the Consumer
12  Price Index for All Urban Consumers published 
13  by the Bureau of Labor Statistics of the De-
14  partment of Labor for the most recent 12-
15  month period for which applicable data is avail-
16  able.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
You know, to match the decor.
In a gold-appointed NYC penthouse, a dour young Barron Trump in suit and tie sits astride a large plush lion with full flowing mane, toy cars strewn on the floor (two of which are, no shit, limosines), as his father, Donald, sits grinning in a gold-painted chair, steepled fingers obscuring the length of his red necktie, and his mother, Melania, poses alongside Donald with her fashion model's mirthless blue steel expression and a short, flowing peach-colored dress that shows off her legs. Only Donald appears to be enjoying this scene.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
“Siri, show me two people I’ll never waste one minute of my one precious life on.”
At left in a split screen, Stephen A. Smith in a pale blue suit, his lips parted in a brief pause, possibly for oxygen, in the midst of his never-ending pursuit of never shutting the fuck up, loudly.

At right, Skip Bayless in a dark blazer and open-collared white dress shirt, his mouth open wide in the middle of a loud hot take nobody asked for, probably something low-key racist having to do with Dak Prescott.

Below, the caption: “Skip Bayless returning to ‘First Take’ with Stephen A. Smith every Friday”

Credit: Awful Announcing (on Facebook)
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
It's raining here right now, and I was about to remark that rain in the 90s is such a waste of precipitation, but now I need someone to explain a 17-degree plummet followed by a 10-degree rise in temperature in the span of an hour. I took a meteorology course in college, but this wasn't covered.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
#KCvsCLE Rain delay at Progressive Field.
Admiral Ackbar from the STAR WARS saga declaring, "It's a tarp!"
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Meme image of three cartoon Spider-Men in slightly varied costumes pointing at each other.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
At some point the ‘k’ peeled off and went missing, and it was like that for a while until some absolute legend determined, correctly, that “orks” and “poons” made it at least 250% funnier and removed the ‘f’ and the ‘s’. This is the only good thing that has ever happened in an employee breakroom.
In the corner of a breakroom countertop stands a three-tiered white plastic unit for flatware or plasticware, with translucent drawers labeled, top to bottom: orks, poons, nives.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
I am bound contractually by a lease agreement that prohibits me from replacing any feature, fixture or appliance more permanent than a light bulb around here, but someone at Down-at-Heels got upgraded to a fancy new toilet today.
In its designated corner of the apartment stands a gleaming new high-sided stainless steel cat litter box with a flip-top lid of light gray plastic and an opaque plastic swinging door at its entrance. Marlowe will now regard it with suspicion, trepidation or possibly hostility. Change is both scary and exciting.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
It also mirrors Roger's encounter with the farmer at Prairie Stop, Highway 41. #NorthByNorthwest #TCMParty
Top: Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) and a farmer in a brown suit and fedora stand on opposite sides of the highway, the latter awaiting the arrival of a bus, the former awaiting his fateful confrontation with a cropduster.

Bottom: Roger and Eve Kendall (Eva Marie Saint) stand beside an ambulance and a white convertible, respectively, seemingly the same distance apart in the frame, as they reunite and reconcile in the forest near the monument.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Also this especially nasty bit of dialogue, which i wrote about in greater detail here: shepcat.wordpress.com/2010/09/19/h... #HisGirlFriday #TCMParty
[screencap of screenplay excerpt] 

CLOSE SHOT McCUE AT PHONE

McCUE
(into phone)
McCue speaking. Mrs. Phoebe DeWolfe, eight-sixty-one and a half South State Street, colored, gave birth to a pickaninny in a patrol wagon with Sheriff Hartman's special Rifle Squad acting as nurses. Well -- Phoebe was walking along the street when all of a sudden she began -- that's right. So the police coaxed her into the patrol wagon and they started a race with the stork. When the pickaninny was born the Rifle Squad examined him carefully to see if it was Earl Williams who they knew was hiding somewhere.

MED. SHOT

Hildy is still pacing. McCue laughs at his own joke.

McCUE 
(to Hildy)
Did you get that, Hildy?

HILDY
No -- what?

Hildy's phone rings. She answers.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
This is actually rare for FedEx. It's not that I absolutely, positively needed my package overnight, or even by the original delivery target of midday Friday. But there has been no update since it left the distribution center five days ago. I believe one of their planes or trucks may be missing.
DELIVERY DETAILS

Your package is still on the way and we're actively working to get you a new delivery date.

No signature needed for delivery.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
In which one’s imagination is enthralled by the notion of Curtis LeMay — the inspiration for Gen. Jack D. Ripper in DR. STRANGELOVE and for whom a dear friend of mine, now 96, worked as a secretary at the Pentagon — serving as the commissioner of baseball.
(The fascination with men with military backgrounds wasn't new; when Frick was elected in 1951, other  finalists included Generals Douglas MacArthur, Dwight Eisenhower, and Maxwell Taylor; in 1965, Taylor was again a candidate, as was retired air force chief of staff Curtis LeMay.)

— from NINE INNINGS by Daniel Okrent
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Which phrase, we should all be aware now after Hot ODYSSEY Summer, traces its origin to someone, fittingly in this instance, named Homer.
When the Black Sox spread their stain over the public perception of baseball, the owners tied themselves to the mast of Landis, and let another determine their course.

— from NINE INNINGS by Daniel Okrent
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Gee, I dunno, Jon. D'ya think you brought enough guys?
Quoted poster:

Jon Freeman
@disguisedinvirtue.bsky.social

8 followers   4 following
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
There are any number of reasons why Rep. Andy Ogles just got primaried in the Tennessee 5th. One could be that he’s a homophobic bigot. Another could be that he’s too stupid to know the difference between a nuclear family and a semiautomatic family, which his clearly is.
Rep. Andy Ogles
@RepOgles

Homosexuality has no place in America.

Happy Nuclear Family Month.

7:32 AM • Jun 2, 2026The Ogles family’s 2021 Christmas card, depicting Rep. Andy Ogles, his wife, and their three children posing in front of a Christmas tree. All but the youngest Ogles child are holding assault rifles.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
... or Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
One-sheet for the Coen Brothers' THE BIG LEBOWSKI, depicting Jeff Bridges as the Dude in sleeveless white coveralls and a tool belt and Julianne Moore as Maude Lebowski dressed and helmeted in a Valkyrie costume. He is embracing her from behind in an exaggeration of teaching her to roll as she holds a bowling ball aloft.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Loni Anderson died 20 years before she was born? ALSO BLOCKED.
Classic ‘80s pic of Loni in a red one-piece bathing suit, captioned “LONI ANDERSON 1945-1925.”
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Anytime stuff like this pops up in my feed — e.g., a post about Martin Sheen that includes a photo of Cliff Robertson and one of what looks like a Skarsgård brother drawn from memory — I block that account with extreme prejudice. AND YOU SHOULD TOO. Lazy shit like this is why the world sucks now.
A photo of a beaming, silver-haired Martin Sheen ringed by smaller photos of him in previous roles including APOCALYPSE NOW and THE WEST WING but also the aforementioned Robertson and WTF Skarsgård images, above the caption “Legendary actor Martin Sheen turns 86 years old today.”
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
P.O.V. 10:17 a.m. #Caturday. “My tiny hostage,” I just called her. “Would you have chosen me if it had been up to you?” At moments like this it’s pretty to believe she would have. #Marlowe
As the unseen photographer reclines atop his bed, its French blue sheets rumpled in the background, a black-white-and-tan calico cat stretches out on his lap, her green eyes looking into camera, into his soul.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
The detective novel I happened to start reading just this morning, with a timely shout-out to Robert Pattinson’s character in THE ODYSSEY.
“... It's just such a shock. I apologize for getting excited.” He flicked a glance at the door to the back room. In shadow above it, ghostly pale, a bust of Antinous bowed its head. “Look, would you excuse us now?”
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Anyway, my contribution to the zeitgeist. 5/5 #HATM #HighFidelity
Paperback cover of HIGH FIDELITY by Nick Hornby — "Now a major motion picture from Touchstone Pictures" — featuring John Cusack.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
To wit: I overslept a bit one morning, texted my supervisor I was running behind but was on my way, and clocked in 17 minutes late. Even though I fully intended to make up those 17 minutes and work my full eight for the day, my supervisor had to adjust my time so it wouldn't be charged against me.
[above a medium close-up of Mitch McConnell, shot from below and framing his head against a rotunda whose rays make it appear that a nimbus encircles his head — imagery that is at once blasphemous and wistful, becaause maybe the racist son of a bitch really is dead]

Mitch McConnell's hospitalization got me thinking. 

If a U.S. senator is hospitalized for months and can't vote or represent the people who elected them, why is there no process to determine  whether they're still able to serve? 

Most Americans have to justify missing a single day of work.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Elon doesn't seem to understand that I would trade him to a tribe of cannibals for a mere token. Shiny beads, a carved figurine, a boar's-tooth necklace — whatever they felt was fair.
sherrilynifill | @threads
An absolutely unhinged and bizarre thing to say.

Elon Musk | X  @elonmusk
You don't seem to understand that SpaceX will be worth more than the rest of Earth if we accomplish our goals
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Now playing: JAWS (Spielberg, 1975)
Two frames: the beginning and end points of the dolly zoom shot depicting Chief Martin Brody's stunned reaction to the shark attack that kills young Alex Kintner near the Amity Island beach. Brody is seated in a beach chair, his wife Ellen behind him with her hands on his shoulders.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Centennial: "We made it 100 years. That's great!" Bicentennial: "We made it 200 years. That's fantastic!" Semiquincentennial: "We made it halfway to 500 years. This enterprise can still go pear-shaped at any time. Heads on swivels, everybody. Stay frosty."
Merriam-Webster
Word of the Day | July 4, 2026

semiquincentennial
noun | sem-ee-kwin-sen-TEN-ee-ul
a 250th birthday or its celebration
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
If the crowd size at this celebration isn't the thing that makes It Happen, some country's gonna get bombed Sunday morning.
An all-encompassing wide shot of the Obama Presidential Center campus in Chicago under the caption "A huge free outdoor 4th of July celebration is taking over the Obama Center with music and more."
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
I love that Messi has this kind of irked expression now, like, "Don't they know who I am?" #ARGvsCPV #FIFAWorldCup
Image of Michael Jordan from THE LAST DANCE, captioned "... and I took that personally."
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Not for nothing, if Bob's Big Boy didn't swing some kind of sponsorship deal with the Croatian national team, it's a missed opportunity. #PORvsCRO #FIFAWorldCup
The iconic Big Boy statue in red-and-white checkered overalls, with pompadour'd hair, holding aloft a large cheeseburger on a tray.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
In honor of his 100th birthday, a loose retelling of my favorite Mel Brooks story:
It's the early 1950s and the comedy-variety program YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS is perhaps the most popular, most watched show on television, led by its star Sid Caesar and featuring Imogene Coca and Carl Reiner, with a writing staff including Neil Simon and Mel Brooks.

Caesar, as the star and driving force behind the show, is called into a meeting with a bunch of serious men in suits — network executives, lawyers, representatives of the show's sponsor, whatever — to discuss some important business matter.

In the middle of the meeting, the doors of the conference room fly open. Mel Brooks races in, leaps onto the table, and shouts, "Lindy just landed at Le Bourget! He made it! He really did it!"

Stunned. Dead. Silence.

"Don't you understand? Lindbergh's in Paris! The crazy son of a bitch did it!"

Around the table, a handful of Very Important Men, bewildered, mortified by the sight of this small manic figure dancing and shouting on top of the table.

And on one side, Sid Caesar, doubled over, crying with laughter.

No matter how important or serious or critical the business being discussed in that room was, utterly unfazed by consequences of any kind, Mel Brooks just wanted to make his friend laugh.

And he did.

And for the next three quarters of a century, he hasn't stopped.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
I have no indelible memories of Portugal's superstar Cristiano Ronaldo in action, so whenever I see him in close-up, I see the infamous bust sculpted in his honor, as though his actual movie star–handsome face is just a palimpsest on thin tracing paper over this ridiculous thing my mind can't unsee.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Today I stumbled across the album cover for jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard's 1962 Blue Note release HUB-TONES, and it is almost certainly the inspiration for the one-sheet of one of my favorite movies, Steven Soderbergh's 1999 crime-and-revenge drama THE LIMEY.
james spaulding/herbie hancock/reginald workman/clifford jarvis
hub-tones
freddie hubbard
84115 Blue Note

Against a field of white, nine identical black rectangles, long and narrow,  stand equidistantly. The sixth from left, however, is dropped lower than the other eight. In its lower half it contains an image of Hubbard blowing his horn as seen through a red filter.Terence Stamp
THE LIMEY
Lesley Ann Warren • Luis Guzman • Barry Newman
and Peter Fonda
produced by John Hardy & Scott Kramer
written by Lem Dobbs
directed by Steven Soderbergh

Against a field of white, four identical black rectangles, long and narrow,  stand equidistantly. The third from left, however, is dropped lower than the other three. Spread across the four rectangles and displayed as seen through a red filter are an image of a commercial jet flying over palm trees and a larger principal image of the titular limey, Wilson (Terence Stamp), both hands holding a lighter up to the cigarette in his mouth, smoke trailing behind him toward the upper left corner of the image.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Post one (1) photo of a painting that you took with your very own hands. The photo, that is, not the painting. "Hollywood" (1938) by Thomas Hart Benton, whose life intersects with my own in a number of circumstantial but interesting ways.
A scantily clad young woman poses under an arch in the center of a scene in which the entirety of a Hollywood soundstage is compressed into a single frame of activity on multiple levels, including actors, directors, camera operators, a sound engineer, a boom operator, a makeup artist, a script supervisor, crew members, lighting rigs, a wind machine, and three movies being shot at once amid scenic paintings, sets and façades obscuring the rafters, structure and behind-the-scenes machinery of the soundstage and of Hollywood itself.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Joe Rogan looks like he’s doing Violet Beauregarde cosplay. He looks like he was cast as Kingpin in a 5/8-scale version of Marvel’s DAREDEVIL. He looks like he swells up as a defense against predators. He looks like the last thing pie sees. He looks like a globe waiting to have continents added.
Diminutive podcast bro Joe Rogan wearing a blue suit, blue shirt and blue tie while standing between two Paramount+ co-hosts at the UFC event on the White House lawn.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
The Golden Sir @screaminbutcalm

Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!

Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

4:14 PM • Mar 12, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
New, from the middle-aged minds that brought you “Hey, That’s a Pretty Good Box,” it’s “Wait — That Contact Lens Fluid Squeeze Bottle Has Some Untapped Potential.”
Its label peeled off, a plain white 16 oz. squeeze bottle with a red cap stands on a dark green bathroom countertop, its reflection in the mirror behind it.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Seizing this rare opportunity to repurpose my MLB rain delay meme. #KennedyCenter
Meme of Admiral Ackbar from the STAR WARS saga shouting "It's a tarp!"
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Honestly, the #Royals are just ambient sound in my apartment while I do other things now. I don't even know what we're doing here anymore. #KCvsTEX #FountainsOff
Gameday score bug:

Bot 1st

Royals       0
22-36

Rangers    4
27-21
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Now playing: THE LAST METRO (Truffaut, 1980)
Medium close-up of Catherine Deneuve, her hair coiffed in the style of the 1940s, wearing bright red lipstick with a fur collar showing over her business suit as she looks to camera over the shoulder of an actress whose face is turned away from us.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Now playing: GIRL ON THE BRIDGE (Leconte, 1999)
Exterior – Night. A black-and-white medium two-shot of a middle-aged man in an overcoat and a young woman in a long coat and a beret, their backs to the camera, standing on a bridge overlooking the Seine, she on the ledge, he on the other side of the rail. He is the knife thrower Gabor attempting to recruit his next assistant, Adele, as she prepares to leap from the bridge, the lights of Paris glowing in the distance and reflecting on the water.
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Brent Shepherd (he/him) @shepcatzero.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
Repost with your first crush. I was far too young to understand the concept of a crush, but seeing Peggy Lipton on THE MOD SQUAD was likely the first time it occurred to me that girls were pretty and I should dedicate myself to further investigation of this new information.
Medium close-up of 20-something Peggy Lipton, with straight sandy-blonde hair past her shoulders, turning to face the camera with a faraway look in her eyes.
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