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Sheila Wray Gregoire

@sheilagregoire.bsky.social
4.4K followers 328 following 563 posts

Changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage! Author of The Great Sex Rescue and The Marriage You Want. Find me at BareMarriage.com. Twitter/X handle @sheilagregoire

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Reposted by Sheila Wray Gregoire
Marc Alan Schelske @marcalanschelske.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Can you imagine Jesus demanding sex? Chatting with Sheila Wray Gregoire about what so many Christian men get wrong about sex. bit.ly/3VrssQY
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NakedPastor @nakedpastor.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I know We Just Don't Care is an older one, but I share this once in a while to remind ourselves that even if men do believe women, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to care. The problem isn't the report. The problem is the culture.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
So grateful that @nakedpastor.bsky.social is addressing obligation sex! The only thing I'd add is that, in our research of 20,000 women for The Great Sex Rescue, it's often not the husband who tells women this. It's all the evangelical books she has read on marriage. Husbands often don't even know!
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Kristin Du Mez @kkdumez.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Apologies for the late notice, but I’ll be doing a live webinar tonight at 8pm ET on LIVE LAUGH LOVE! Register here: www.project2112.org/events-and-c...
project2112.org
Events and Calls
Scroll down to see our upcoming events and calls for Exvangelicals!​​​​​​ Public webinar with Kristin Kobes Du Mez, author of the forthcoming "Live, Laugh, Love" -- September 30 ( click...
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I've been permanently BANNED from THREADS for no reason! Got a message that I violated Community Guidelines--they didn't tell me how. I posted yesterday about the Cornell 7 and about predators in youth group. No way to appeal. So Bluesky--you're my bae now!
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
We all know what toxic masculinity is. But what is healthy masculinity? Here's my attempt to define it in a non-weird way, wher eit's not all "be strong!" or "lead!" baremarriage.com/2025/09/what...
baremarriage.com
What Is Healthy Masculinity? - Bare Marriage
Any biblical definition of healthy masculinity has to take in mind biology--men's privilege in being stronger and less constrained by biology.
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Marissa Franks Burt @mburtwrites.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
Thank you @sheilagregoire.bsky.social!
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
Marriages that harm us are not God’s will. Marriages that hurt our children are not God’s will. And marriages where staying together enables someone else to be selfish and cruel—not God’s will. We make a mockery of God, and of marriage, when we treat it like it is!
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Baptizing Feminism🎥 @baptizingfeminism.bsky.social · 16/08/2025
These influencers are the byproduct/ Frankensteins of biblical womanhood/ purity culture books in 70s-80s/ Dobson etc & reap the financial rewards at the expense of innocent children. @sheilagregoire.bsky.social open.substack.com/pub/baremarr...
open.substack.com
Young Social Media Influencers Are Becoming the New Toxic Evangelical Spaces
What if we defeat the book Love & Respect, but all these young influencers still teach the concepts?
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
In Doug Wilson's Omnibus III curriculum, meant for 14-year-olds, he assigns Mein Kampf (by Hitler!).
A picture of the textbook with a large picture of Hitler and the title "Mein Kampf"
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
My daughter Rebecca's asking a question today: Why do things stay toxic in the church? Because too few of us are willing to speak up and, in the words of the Matilda musical, be a little bit naughty. It's my Substack today! open.substack.com/pub/baremarr...
open.substack.com
Sometimes You Have to Be a Little Bit Naughty
Maybe it's time for us to start speaking up
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Book @bookishlistener.bsky.social · 05/08/2025
Just listened to @sheilagregoire.bsky.social on @sonsofpatriarchy.bsky.social and it was phenomenal! All well said and I look forward to hearing more in the future. Some of those stats were really eye opening. Guess it’s time to buy some more books. I’m going to need a proper library soon.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
Healthy marriages aren’t based in competition, they are based in working as equals on the same team. A marriage where you have to fight for a voice isn’t a Christian one—it’s a dysfunctional one.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 04/08/2025
Yes, the Madison Prewett "it will be hilarious to spank our daughter" controversy matters, because it shows 4 concerning trends in evangelical influencer culture. We're making headway against toxic books, but now influencers are just parrotting their messages! baremarriage.com/2025/08/madi...
baremarriage.com
4 Things the "Spanking Our Daughter Is Hilarious" Controversy Tells Us about Evangelical Influencer Advice Culture - Bare Marriage
Madison Prewett & Grant Troutt think spanking their daughter will be "hilarious". 3 things this reveals about how evangelical influencer culture went awry.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
"Marriage is hard." That's taught constantly in evangelical circles! We need to change that narrative. LIFE is hard. And marriage adds complexities. But marriage should make burdens lighter--not be the cause of those burdens. 1/2
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
Christian marriage authors often ignore the BIGGEST marriage problems. When it comes to sex, evangelical books overwhelmingly emphasize frequency, telling women to give husbands more sex. You know what they DON’T talk about? The 47 point orgasm gap, and the 2x rate of sexual pain disorders. 1/7
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
I mean, you don't have to consent to lots of things! But we really need to change the narrative. Sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both. If sex is only for him--YOU are the one being deprived. It's okay to say, "I won't be treated like a sex toy anymore."
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 08/07/2025
Don’t use prayer as an excuse not to draw boundaries!
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 07/07/2025
A woman writes: “Years ago, I read “Every Man’s Battle” as a young married woman ( after some issues in my marriage) to hopefully help me better understand my husband. Well, it caused me more issues! I hated men! It made me believe all men were just pigs and had absolutely no respect for women. 1/5
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
At first glance this logic makes no sense. How can women be these sexually ravenous temptresses, and at the same time be asexual in marriage? But there is a commonality, and when you see it, you can’t unsee it: women are at fault for everything, and women exist to serve men. 1/6
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 10/06/2025
I remember a social media post I made, about a decade ago, talking about how important the marriage vows are, because they keep the marriage together through the difficult times so that you're able to weather them to get to the happy times again. I said it very eloquently, but I regret it now. 1/3
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
Ever noticed this? We’re told simultaneously that the purpose for marriage is holiness, not happiness, but we’re ALSO told that we need to keep our husband happy. Just an interesting dichotomy, and thank you to commenter LH on Facebook today for pointing this out!
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
Trying to explain to someone who’s knee-deep in complementarianism that it actually is very possible to function in marriage without him being a tie-breaker is like trying to explain the green to someone who is colour-blind. They just can’t see it. And it’s so sad. May Jesus take the blinders off.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 22/05/2025
If a woman is "choosing" to have sex, but also doesn't want to climax, then she's likely having sex she doesn't really want to have. Listen in to episode 284 of the Bare Marriage podcast for more on the issues with the book His Needs, Her Needs! The podcast dropped today!
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
Lying for Jesus isn’t cool. And just because you think a fake stat “tells a true story” doesn’t mean you get to spread that fake stat. Instead, it’s worth asking, “if the research doesn’t support what I’m saying, then could it be that I’m actually wrong?”
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 13/05/2025
Biblical counseling doesn’t just mean counseling done by Christians. Instead, it’s a specific school, or type, of counseling which frames problems through a faith/sin lens. So when you’re at your lowest and most desperate, you’re told that you’re failing God.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
It’s time for something healthy and evidence-based! Plus it’s time for women’s perspective on marriage to matter too. Check out The Marriage You Want!
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
Woo hoo! And we made the Evangelical Christian Publishers' Association bestselling list too! Thank you everyone! And if you haven't read it yet--pick it up. It's the book that can change how evangelicals talk about marriage! Now there's finally a healthy alternative.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Debi Pearl thinks the pinnacle for women is staying in a marriage they hate. Encouraging women to look away when so-called Christian husbands ignore their vows has nothing to do with Jesus. We can do better. Check out HEALTHY marriage books like The Marriage You Want instead!
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
If anyone ever tells you we're not "biblical" in our approach, think about this paragraph that we wrote for The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex: "If your wife experiences sexual pain after childbirth, treat this as an issue that you will get through together, rather than as a disappointment... 1/4
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
It takes those with courage to stand up to give us the courage to stand up too. And sometimes, watching those we admire go through pain, and still cling to Jesus, is what we need to keep clinging. That's how I feel about Aimee Byrd, and her new book Saving Face: baremarriage.com/2025/04/savi...
baremarriage.com
Saving Face: Aimee Byrd Writes to Heal Those Left Bruised by a Defaced Church - Bare Marriage
How do you find Jesus when the church has defaced him? A look at Aimee Byrd's profound and beautiful new book Saving Face.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
Some of the WORST quotes from the book The Love Dare that we touched on in our podcast today (Bare Marriage episode 280!) Church: We can do better than this. Let's stop publishing, reading, and recommending marriage books that say such drivel.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
"Your husband may be late coming home. again. But God wil always be right on time." "Sex is not something God allows us to withhold without consequence." Just a few of the atrocious quotes from the book THE LOVE DARE that we dissect on today's podcast! baremarriage.com/2025/04/podc...
baremarriage.com
PODCAST: The Problems with The Love Dare, and Why It Just Papers Over REal Problems - Bare Marriage
All the issues with The Love Dare by the Kendrick Brothers! It's episode 280 of Bare Marriage
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Thank you! (And, yes, men need emotional maturity--and men are more than capable of it! And so are women!)
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 23/04/2025
Remember the movie Fireproof, based on the book The Love Dare? The Love Dare has been the best-selling marriage gift book ever. And it has problems. Serious ones! Our deep dive here: baremarriage.com/2025/04/prob...
baremarriage.com
The Love Dare by the Kendrick Brothers: A Review of the Problems (with Download) - Bare Marriage
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
The book series Every Man’s Battle sold 4 million copies, and revolved around the problems with male lust and porn use. And yet did it EVER show any compassion for the women who were used in porn? No. Instead, the “victim” of porn was the man’s purity.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
The post that started it all! Here's the first post that we called out another book by name (Love & Respect). The reaction to the posts that week inspired our research project which became The Great Sex Rescue. And the rest is history! baremarriage.com/2019/01/love...
baremarriage.com
A Review of How Love and Respect Gets Sex Horribly Wrong - Bare Marriage
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
A reader writes: “I am in the middle of a divorce. I honestly believe that if it weren’t for the very harmful teachings that kept me a silent prisoner for 2 decades and kept my husband from realizing how abusive this marriage has been, AND if the church had stood with me... 1/2
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
Saw a reel on Matt Chandler's channel today with a woman saying how encouraging it was when pastors encourage women and give them "permission" to lead. Just want to say--women, you don't need a man's permission to do what God has called you to do.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
When Al Mohler, president of a Southern Baptist seminary, claims that women prioritizing their own happiness over marriage is bad, he's sacrificing women's safety for men's comfort. And so often, our evangelical advice around marriage and sex does just that. baremarriage.com/2025/04/mens...
baremarriage.com
Men's Comfort vs. Women's Safety: Why Evangelicals Need Nuance - Bare Marriage
Too often evangelicals make rules that prioritize men's comfort over women's safety. We need to assess collateral damage with nuance.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
Are evangelical women refusing to marry evangelical men? Al Mohler says so, and claims it's a "crisis", a "five alarm fire", "time to hit the panic button." But he ignores the REASON women are often happier single. It's all in this week's Bare Marriage podcast! baremarriage.com/2025/04/podc...
baremarriage.com
PODCAST: Why Are Evangelical women REfusing to Marry Evangelical Men? - Bare Marriage
Al Mohler says that it's a "crisis" that women are refusing to marry, and that this crisis extends to the evangelical church. But he's missing what's really going on.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
From my husband Keith, who often says it best! Making men the default authority doesn't make a healthy marriage. It reminds me how, in Love & Respect, Eggerichs labels everything he doesn’t like “disrespect.” If his wife brings up an issue he doesn't like, he can just refuse to listen. 1/2
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
DATA is FUN! Everything we do at Bare Marriage is based on data, not our own personal opinions. If you’ve followed me for a while, but you’ve never bought any of our books, can I ask you to change that? Our books make the point so much better than social media posts ever can.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 08/04/2025
Let me explain a dynamic we discovered in our data that we dubbed “The Unfairness Threshold.” Unfairness often doesn’t really register in the first few years of marriage. But by year 10, you feel the strain. By year 15, you’re upset. And by year 20, you’ve had it. 1/8
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 07/04/2025
Pssstttt...My new book The Marriage You Want will show you how to get the healthy, happy marriage you want! But you may not get it, for one very important reason--we show you that the marriage you want depends on BOTH of you. And I'd like to explain why this matters. 1/9
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
A Bible college in Manitoba in the 1930s was more open to women teaching than SBC seminaries and colleges today. But as @bethallisonbarr.bsky.social shows in Becoming the Pastor's Wife, the evangelical church CHOSE patriarchy. It's time for us to unchoose it. open.substack.com/pub/baremarr...
open.substack.com
The Church Embraced Patriarchy. We Can Choose to Let It Go.
A look at the lessons from Becoming the Pastor's Wife
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
This podcast has it all--terrible clips from Josh Howerton, Josh McPherson, and Emerson Eggerichs; terrible takes from Matt Walsh; but also REDEEMING takes from John Gottman, and practical advice on how to build emotional connection! Emotions aren't feminine! baremarriage.com/2025/04/podc...
baremarriage.com
PODCAST: Emotions Aren't Feminine (and Men Should Be Emotionally Healthy Too) - Bare Marriage
Are emotions feminine? Why do evangelical pastors talk like women are emotional and men logical? Let's look at the data!
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
You shouldn't prioritize sex in your marriage. That's how we opened chapter 4 in The Marriage You Want, and today I want to explain what I mean! baremarriage.com/2025/04/shou...
baremarriage.com
Should You Prioritize Sex? Why Frequency Is the Wrong Measure - Bare Marriage
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Shifting Culture @shiftingculture.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
Marriage isn't about who's "in charge". It's about teamwork. @sheilagregoire.bsky.social reveals surprising research on what really makes marriages thrive. Listen now: episodes.fm/1566243892?v...
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Sheila Wray Gregoire @sheilagregoire.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
I'm constantly hearing advice that goes, "Moms, the marriage comes first. Your husband deserves your best energy and time. He'll still be here when the kids are gone, so don't spend so much on the kids you have nothing left for him." And I wonder: 1/3
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