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Senile Don Draper

@seniledondraper.bsky.social
561 followers 3 following 54 posts

Best ad man in the business for 65 years. Best ad man in the business for 65 years. Writing from the most impressive pillow fort on Madison Avenue. Peggy how do you close this goddamn thi

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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Wendy's. 1,000 random hamburgers have bits of the founder mixed into the meat. Eat Dave Thomson. Wendy's.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Feet. They're what's for dinner. Buy Nike.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 19/07/2025
Tough times make hard men. Hard men make good times. Cialis.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Michelob Ultra. Don’t feed it after midnight.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Michelob Ultra. If you hit one with a hammer it turns into a six pack of Hamms.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Michelob Ultra. A beer for people who only get found after the snow thaws.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Michelob Ultra. It’s You can’t spell “a rat taint” without “ultra.”
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Michelob Ultra. Think of a beer. Because that’s as close as you’re getting to one tonight.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Hormel®. What is it? That's the Hormel® question. Get a full sack of Hormel® today.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
It's all over, America. We've finally made a potato chip that you can fuck.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
I only watch commercials for the Super Bowl.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
At Verizon, we hate you. Verizon. The only fully integrated 7G whatever-the-fuck. The only phones with that perfect Verizon crunch. Verizon. "Verizon." Say it three times in a mirror and Candyman comes. more pitching less bitching, Peggy, there are no bad ideas
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
Heineken. The Heineken of beers.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
Dunkin’ Donuts. We took the “ugh” out of “doughnut” and put it into your coffee.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 18/02/2025
Firestone. You can’t eat just one.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/02/2025
Inside you are two wolves. Both want a Pepsi®.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/02/2025
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. You can get everything from guns to shovels ... at Walmart.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 15/02/2025
Fudge. It’s like chocolate for idiots and schoolchildren. Paid for by the American Fudge Farmers of America.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
This Superbowl, give her the gift she's been waiting for: a car made of cheeseburgers, paid for with an AI-managed crypto featuring Snoop Dogg Superbowl: America her so good.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
What brings us all together is greater than what divides us. Soylant Green. Bringing everyone together.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 03/02/2025
There's nothing like the crisp refreshing taste of Valvoline. Valvoline. On the road of life, there are drivers and there are drinkers ... of Valvoline. Valvoline. You can't drink just one. Peggy what is this product. It tatses like Pete's hair smells
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
If you give a million monkeys a million typewriters, eventually they’ll eat your eyes right out of your head. That’s what Red Bull is like.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
Anghkooey when a demon in a yellow suit convinced you to sacrifice your children to gain immortality? Pepperidge Farm Anghkooeys
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
Coors Extra Gold. The beer that says what the fuck.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
Valvoline: the motor oil with the taste of energy drinks. Or wait— is it the energy drink with the taste of motor oil? Peggy get me Red Bull on the line to straighten this out
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
Taco Bell. Imagine a bell full of something we'll call 'meat.' Now imagine that bell is what's left of your intestines.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
Pfizer. The name you trust when you need to get pfucked up on pfills.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Campbell’s. The soup with the taste of cans.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
Inside you are two wolves. Both of them drive Hondas.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/11/2024
Taco Bell. You need a taco in the worst way, and that’s how we make ‘em.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/11/2024
Historians centuries from now will marvel that a technologically advanced society such as ours never found a way to fill french fries with fudge.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/11/2024
Burger King. Show your stomach who’s boss.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 22/10/2024
Two paths diverged in a yellow wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by. And there was a McDonalds there.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/10/2024
If you love something, let it go. Now I have it. I can sell it back to you at a profit. I know you’ll pay for it; you love it.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/10/2024
America doesn’t want a female president, Peggy. America wants a cheeseburger on a JetSki, firing a gun at an endangered shark. I’m Draper. Finger on the pulse. Scotch in the belly. Scotch on my shirt.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/10/2024
I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. What the hell, he has no feet,. He doesn’t need them. Reebok .
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 30/06/2024
At TicketMaster™ we consider you a member of the family. Specifically one that we hate, and make pay rent. TicketMaster™ When you're here, we hate you.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 30/06/2024
I remember a day when all a boy needed to be happy was a spring that could walk downstairs, and a father who never spoke to him.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 30/06/2024
If you find yourself in an Applebees, you have the right to ask if you are being detained or if you are free to go.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024
First they ignore you Then they laugh at you Then they fight you Then you win Jägermeister
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024
Panda Express. When you can’t wait for a panda.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024
Firestone tires. The only tire with that smooth Firestone taste.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024
On the road of life, there are passengers and there are drivers. We want drivers. That's why Tesla Truck is engineered to kill passengers. Automatic ejector seats when you hit 75mph. You can't turn them off. What? Well it should be. Call Alan Musk. Elon Melt. Call both of them.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024
Peggy, Lexus is coming in tomorrow. Pull their file so we can make a classic Draper campaign for their luxury burger or deluxe car. Deluxury truckwiches. Two all beef patties lettuce pickles rich Corinthian leather on a sesame seed whitewall tire. And another Scotch.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024
Coors. There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly beer.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024
Taco Bell. In your intestines for a good time, not for a long time.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024
I cried, because I had no shoes. But then I saw this guy with no feet. I took his shoes. What the hell, HE didn't need them. Nike.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024
Pickles. Just eat it, it's on the plate, for Christ's sake, it was free, just eat it. Paid for by the Pickle Farmers of Whatever.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024
If you love something, let it go. Good, now I have it. I'll sell it back to you at a markup. I know you'll buy it; you love it.
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Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024
I am asking for your vote. I will make America both great-tasting and less-filling again. #Draper2016
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