Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Wendy's. 1,000 random hamburgers have bits of the founder mixed into the meat. Eat Dave Thomson. Wendy's. 021
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2026Feet. They're what's for dinner. Buy Nike. 063
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 19/07/2025Tough times make hard men. Hard men make good times. Cialis. 071
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025Michelob Ultra. Don’t feed it after midnight. 011
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025Michelob Ultra. If you hit one with a hammer it turns into a six pack of Hamms. 011
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025Michelob Ultra. A beer for people who only get found after the snow thaws. 020
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025Michelob Ultra. It’s You can’t spell “a rat taint” without “ultra.” 010
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2025Michelob Ultra. Think of a beer. Because that’s as close as you’re getting to one tonight. 030
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 02/05/2025Hormel®. What is it? That's the Hormel® question. Get a full sack of Hormel® today. 041
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 02/05/2025It's all over, America. We've finally made a potato chip that you can fuck. 131
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 01/05/2025I only watch commercials for the Super Bowl. 001
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 01/05/2025At Verizon, we hate you. Verizon. The only fully integrated 7G whatever-the-fuck. The only phones with that perfect Verizon crunch. Verizon. "Verizon." Say it three times in a mirror and Candyman comes. more pitching less bitching, Peggy, there are no bad ideas 051
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/03/2025Dunkin’ Donuts. We took the “ugh” out of “doughnut” and put it into your coffee. 073
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/02/2025Inside you are two wolves. Both want a Pepsi®. 161
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/02/2025Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. You can get everything from guns to shovels ... at Walmart. 26512
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 15/02/2025Fudge. It’s like chocolate for idiots and schoolchildren. Paid for by the American Fudge Farmers of America. 091
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/02/2025This Superbowl, give her the gift she's been waiting for: a car made of cheeseburgers, paid for with an AI-managed crypto featuring Snoop Dogg Superbowl: America her so good. 051
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/02/2025What brings us all together is greater than what divides us. Soylant Green. Bringing everyone together. 050
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 03/02/2025There's nothing like the crisp refreshing taste of Valvoline. Valvoline. On the road of life, there are drivers and there are drinkers ... of Valvoline. Valvoline. You can't drink just one. Peggy what is this product. It tatses like Pete's hair smells 082
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 31/01/2025If you give a million monkeys a million typewriters, eventually they’ll eat your eyes right out of your head. That’s what Red Bull is like. 071
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 31/01/2025Anghkooey when a demon in a yellow suit convinced you to sacrifice your children to gain immortality? Pepperidge Farm Anghkooeys 011
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 27/01/2025Coors Extra Gold. The beer that says what the fuck. 020
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 27/01/2025Valvoline: the motor oil with the taste of energy drinks. Or wait— is it the energy drink with the taste of motor oil? Peggy get me Red Bull on the line to straighten this out 001
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 26/01/2025Taco Bell. Imagine a bell full of something we'll call 'meat.' Now imagine that bell is what's left of your intestines. 011
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 19/01/2025Pfizer. The name you trust when you need to get pfucked up on pfills. 2878
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/12/2024Campbell’s. The soup with the taste of cans. 051
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Inside you are two wolves. Both of them drive Hondas. 7497
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Taco Bell. You need a taco in the worst way, and that’s how we make ‘em. 192
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Historians centuries from now will marvel that a technologically advanced society such as ours never found a way to fill french fries with fudge. 031
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Burger King. Show your stomach who’s boss. 061
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 22/10/2024Two paths diverged in a yellow wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by. And there was a McDonalds there. 130
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/10/2024If you love something, let it go. Now I have it. I can sell it back to you at a profit. I know you’ll pay for it; you love it. 1114
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/10/2024America doesn’t want a female president, Peggy. America wants a cheeseburger on a JetSki, firing a gun at an endangered shark. I’m Draper. Finger on the pulse. Scotch in the belly. Scotch on my shirt. 061
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 16/10/2024I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. What the hell, he has no feet,. He doesn’t need them. Reebok . 0122
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 30/06/2024At TicketMaster™ we consider you a member of the family. Specifically one that we hate, and make pay rent. TicketMaster™ When you're here, we hate you. 0111
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 30/06/2024I remember a day when all a boy needed to be happy was a spring that could walk downstairs, and a father who never spoke to him. 091
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 30/06/2024If you find yourself in an Applebees, you have the right to ask if you are being detained or if you are free to go. 041
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024First they ignore you Then they laugh at you Then they fight you Then you win Jägermeister 042
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024Panda Express. When you can’t wait for a panda. 087
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024Firestone tires. The only tire with that smooth Firestone taste. 061
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024On the road of life, there are passengers and there are drivers. We want drivers. That's why Tesla Truck is engineered to kill passengers. Automatic ejector seats when you hit 75mph. You can't turn them off. What? Well it should be. Call Alan Musk. Elon Melt. Call both of them. 032
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024Peggy, Lexus is coming in tomorrow. Pull their file so we can make a classic Draper campaign for their luxury burger or deluxe car. Deluxury truckwiches. Two all beef patties lettuce pickles rich Corinthian leather on a sesame seed whitewall tire. And another Scotch. 061
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 29/06/2024Coors. There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly beer. 0212
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024Taco Bell. In your intestines for a good time, not for a long time. 0396
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024I cried, because I had no shoes. But then I saw this guy with no feet. I took his shoes. What the hell, HE didn't need them. Nike. 1492
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024Pickles. Just eat it, it's on the plate, for Christ's sake, it was free, just eat it. Paid for by the Pickle Farmers of Whatever. 0503
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024If you love something, let it go. Good, now I have it. I'll sell it back to you at a markup. I know you'll buy it; you love it. 0406
Senile Don Draper @seniledondraper.bsky.social · 28/06/2024I am asking for your vote. I will make America both great-tasting and less-filling again. #Draper2016 0332