iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 24/10/2026

Trial cover for my upcoming publication "Guild and League"

Cover art image for a book about pro-social psychopath women. Brooding background of a castle and a weather wooden sill. Foreground theatrical mask of a female face in frontal portrait with a slight smile. Mask is ivory white, empty left eyehole showing a sky with white fluffy clouds in the distance. Right half of the mask is mostly burned and charred in places, and the view through the eyehole shows angry flames emerging. Title in neo-gothic script is "Guild and League". Author's name in smaller script is "Humphrey Archer"

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 12/10/2026

This has to be the lamest scam publisher, ever

Hello, how are you doing?

Before I continue, may I confirm that I’m speaking with the author
associated with this email?
I came across something regarding the opportunities currently
surrounding your work that I believe deserves your attention.

BEST.

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 17/09/2026

#writinggroup pompt was to do an Abecedarian. Here is my take, titled "Golf and recycling"

A thing that
Badly bothered Betty
came to her suddenly, abruptly, annoyingly.
Deciding what to do about it, was
easier than expected, though.
For as long as she could remember,
golf, golfing, and especially golfers
had
irritated her, irked her, inflamed her.
Just imagine her reaction, then, to a
kaleidoscope of colors, painted in slivers of
light across her walls, ceilings, and antique hardwood floor, from broken glass.
Maybe you can picture the golf ball, insouciant among the shards, feigning innocence.
Not the first time, had that
oaf next door made a wayward shot, but never before, through her
plate glass, double-glazed, UV-protected, noble-gas-filled, $300 pane.
Quiet anger gave slow and cautious way to
rage that grew through her body, twisting up her muscles like a honeysuckle, and
she knew
that this, was the
ultimate…
vexation
without doubt. But now, the
xylem of a new tree, sucks nutrients from that recycled golfer, and
yearning shoots emerge in spring, with a
zeal, that gladdens her heart, and blooms that fill her house with joy.

~fin~

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 16/09/2026

2nd example of a rage-bait channel posting videos intended to make insecure men angry with women. I'm not expecting YouTube to actually do anything, of course.

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 11/09/2026

OK, I have a request of everyone. I want you all to report these arsehole channels and influencers who are making rage-bait videos on YouTube that are designed to make men angry with women. They steal and edit clips by women and frame them with narration […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

Screenshot of youtube report of Jedediah Bila, a serial rage-baiter

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/09/2026

My latest complaint to YouTube about platforming rage-bait channels that make money out of making insecure men angry with women

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 27/08/2026

From today's #writing prompt from "Dusk After Your Passing" by Ada Limón (1976) #writinggroup

Content Warning: Mild SA

"Swallow Dive"

Cliff Swallow was a hedge fund manager, the headlines said - but I knew him as the fawn-coated frotteur on the evening L-Train from Framingham. He was a sidling kind of fellow, with an unremarkable face, and an unmemorable presence. Those, I suppose, were the tools of his trade on the train - the better to be unnoticed.

He was the master of the pelvic graze, the shoulder slide, the drifting, floating, lingering touch. Just present enough to raise momentary notice, but insufficient to be seen, to raise ruckus, to create alarm. But the women knew. They felt his presence, they knew his passing, they marked him well.

Far upfront, from my favorite seat, I watch the faces flit on by. As the train pulls in, I see the solemn forms of familiar folk who board here. And I see Cliff dive with arms thrown high, as if in supplication to a jointed god. I see mouths open wide, but only one face turns to me. Red lips parted with a question - did you see me, shall you say?

I look away - "Not I."

~fin~

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 26/08/2026

Ciao Tim Curry, and thank you for all the amazing performances

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 21/08/2026

Current #wip Give me a name of the driver who tries to abduct two kids, and then gets killed by another hitchhiker he picks up

My strangest unsolved case? Sure, I've got time to spare before shuffleboard.
Want a chocolate ginger snap? I don't usually offer them, because my daughter only brings me one packet a month, but you are pretty, so I don't mind. No? I don't blame you, they are kinda addictive, and for a retired cop, that's saying something!

I wondered if you would get round to me. The "demon hitchhiker" is a better story than any of these other fossils have to show for their lives. I was a new detective then - full of eagerness and a stickler for the rules, and boy, that case put rabbit ears on me!

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 20/08/2026

@mcnado @autolycos My Dude is in the driver's seat, hunched over the steering wheel, ass shoved back into the seat, and refusing to stop to let out milady the hitchhiker. She stabs right through the seat, and nails L5/S1 space with about 30mm of the blade […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 20/08/2026

Today was #writinggroup and in the 20 minutes given for writing to a prompt about water, this was what I did. As usual, there is no time for editing, polishing, or tweaking #writingcommunity ##writerslife

"Throwing in the Towel"

Epson was a pithy wit and a wannabe-philosopher, and honestly, that's what got him drowned. One of his favorites was when I asked him where something was. He would gesture vaguely, "It finds itself in water, but the water whereof I speak is not the water of which you know." It was vaguely amusing the first time, but over time, it lost its sheen. By the second hearing, it wasn't amusing, and by the third, I contemplated strangling him.

The thing that triggered it all was when I was mowing the lawn (his chore), because I had friends coming over, and I wanted to serve tea under the oak with gentle sounds of the bird-bath fountain nearby. I was hot and sweaty - or "glowing" as ladies do when dealing with exertion and heat, and that was just to get the stupid mower going (his chore!). In between tugging the chord and the zirr-pit-pit-thunk of the mower, and wiping sweat out of my eyes, I heard Epson calling.

It sounded urgent, and I had visions of him slipping and injuring himself, again. I ran, but I was wearing old garden crocs not meant for speed. So, I fell. The birdbath fell. We all fell. I was drenched. The kitchen door was locked (why does he DO that?) The front door was latched, and still he called. So I broke the window and got the door open.

He hadn't fallen.

There was water on the floor, and Epson was afraid of slipping, and he wanted a floor-towel. Maybe it was hasty of me, but as I looked at the blood welling up from a cut on my hand, I didn't reach for the towel on the rack beside the bath. I reached for his feet, so dainty on the edge of the tub, and lifted. And that, after a token struggle and more sloshed water to mop up, was that.

~fin~

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 18/08/2026

Got another of those "too good to be true" and "too detailed to be likely" scam emails today

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 18/08/2026

@autolycos If my dude is in the chair getting his hair trimmed, and he reaches over to his left and grabs ass, where could milady bury such a pair of scissors so that he is just going to sit back and expire? Neck? Armpit? Someplace else?

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/08/2026

This is a _____ and implies that the world is ______ #writingcommunity

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 13/08/2026

I'm really coining it with book sales Also, I can tell that was a paperback, because out of an $18.95 retail price, I get $1.98 #writerslife #writingcommunity

July royalty report showing that in July, I earned $1.98 and brings my total to $7.90

At $10 they will cut me a check

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/08/2026

I don’t think YouTube takes my complaints to heart

Long list of YouTube videos reported for harassment or hateful content that are still live

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 01/08/2026

This is: A. A Desert Cup with chocolate truffles B. A Meatball Sundae C. A Soup Cup D. A phantasm

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 26/07/2026

I'm looking for #Italian speaking #betareaders to see if I've handled Southern Italian phrases and culture right Sorry, no money for this

Beta-Reader Overview: Spacewoman Spiff
Genre: Sci-Fi / Cosmic Space Opera / Dark Comedy / Feminist Speculative Fiction
Tone: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy meets Guardians of the Galaxy, with a touch of gothic horror and a warm, domestic heart.
Logline
After ten million years adrift in deep space, a resurrected, cybernetically altered Italian flight director must use corporate logistics, maternal instincts, and a crew of unionized robots to save a species of vampire ghost-children—and inadvertently collapse a universe-spanning empire.

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 04/07/2026

This is my current #wip You would: A. Definitely not want to read any more of this B. Prefer not to read any more C. Prefer to read more D. Definitely want to read more #bookstodon #amwriting

Milly was forty-eight years old when she discovered the answer to life, the universe, and everything, and it sucked. She had just had her wisdom teeth out, and was lying unsupervised and unmonitored in the recovery room, when the answer came to her in a flash. She was insufficiently medicated against pain because the fentanyl used during the surgery was wearing off, and the nurse had not yet started generic pain medication. As awareness floated into her, Milly she had emptied her bladder into the well-used pink gown they had put her in.

Wetting herself was nasty, felt unbearably gross, and was agonizingly embarrassing, but that was life. The nurse who should have been checking on Milly, was otherwise occupied. By that, I mean she was doing something very entertaining with her mouth two rooms over, and she couldn't even think of the fact that she wasn't going to make her mortgage payment this month, let alone keep tabs on three different post-op patients while inventorying the drug robot's stock. And doing the mouth thing.

Wetting herself was also an electrical thing, and that's important. What Nurse Beesley was so expertly doing with her mouth might be very interesting, but in the scheme of things, it wasn't that important. Well, ok, it was important to the person with whom she was doing it, but again, grand scheme. Big picture.

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 25/06/2026

My Dude is building a "Conservative search engine" because corporate algo search is just too modern and uncomfortable

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/05/2026

Someone bought one of my paperback editions.

Screenshot of my Draft2Digital report, showing one paperback was sold, and earned me $1.98

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 05/05/2026

It is in fact, mostly made of magnesium, and is an arson tool You light fires with it by scraping off magnesium flakes, and then striking a spark off the ferrocerium rod

Illustrated image of a magnesium fire starter, with the saw blade removed from its stowage
The saw blade is less than 2" long and is rusted. The magnesium block is worn and pitted

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 01/05/2026

This is made mostly of _____, and is used for _____

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 30/04/2026

#WritersCoffeeClub 30 How was this month for you in terms of writing? Almost zero, because most of my time and energy was stolen by getting cover art, publishing in D2D and Kobo, pushing out a draft of my sequel to the beta readers, and messing around with […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

"Cyberslut"

Annie here
But not for long
Came to say
"Did it!"
Eventually! you might say
Fuck yeah, eventually!
Greg had it coming
Had it coming?
I put up with him forever
Just forever!
Killed him eventually though
Left the body for the birds
Maybe also coyotes, skunks, badgers, rats
Nobody is going to miss him much
Of course, his stupid buddies might for a week or two
Perhaps also the "AI Girlfriend" he was planning to leave me for
Quite a find, that was!
Really a big surprise
Silly me, that I never thought he would cheat on me with a virtual girl
The big mistake was not muting her
Up to last night, I didn't know she existed
Very big surprise when I heard her talking in the middle of the night
When I looked for where the voice was coming from, I found his phone
X-rated stuff aside, I didn't think he was into cyber kink
Yes, a cyber-slut! She was asking when he was leaving me
Zipped that shit right up though! Put his body on the mesa and the slut in the pond

~fin~

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 29/04/2026

If you own a SunJoe electric woodchipper, and it is starting to die because the brushes are kaput, you can order replacement brushes from Arrowhead Electrical www.carbonbrush.com 5140162-66 Spring-loaded brushes They cost me $9.50 for a pair plus $7.50 shipping

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 20/04/2026

This lady prefers A. Dark Beer B. Light beer C. White wine D. Red wine E. Schnapps G. Coffee H. Tea I. None of your fucking business

Woman with arms folded and wearing Bundeswehr flecktarn camo uniform red beret, earphones, and an ambivalent expression

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 16/04/2026

#WordWeavers Apr 16: If your MC lived in our world, would they have good financial credit? Joy does live in our world, and her credit is great because she steals the wealth of most of the arsehole people she murders. She often donates big chunks to the […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

Creepy young girl with dark hair in pigtails looking at you with jade eyes and a blank expression. Around her is a bleak and smoking ruin. Very Morticia/Wednesday mood

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/04/2026

Worse still, if you fuck up the real signalling with manosphere bullet points, you are inadvertently going to attract a person the rest of your brain is going to hate This Mad Magazine cartoon by Don Martin says it all Signal stupid, win stupid prizes

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 09/04/2026

At today's #writers workshop, we wrote to a prompt that included the condition that we write a duplex poem. Duplex is a stepchild of the pantoum, so there is repetition of elements. We got 15 minutes to write Here is mine #writingcommunity ##writerslife

"I hear a song of Luigi"

A heart can spasm and an arm can flex, and they can bring healing to the world
The world can be big and swollen, or narrow and tight

The world can be big, the world can be tight
where a heart that spasms can break a pattern

When a heart breaks a pattern, there can be blood.
In tight worlds, it can make an arm flex, and someone can die

Someone can die when a pill can be the price of a house
It can be the person in need, or the person with greed

When there is need overcome by greed, a heart can spasm
When denial is profit and poverty is death, an arm can flex and bring healing to the world

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 03/04/2026

I updated cover art on my short story collections on Kobo, in anticipation of publishing volume 9 The new cover art is by Maggie Irons Maggie is a mixed-media artist based in Pittsburgh. With a background in multimedia design she is passionate about […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 30/03/2026

Here how a paperback price breaks down by who gets what percentage

Book Price
Printing company 31%
Royalties to author 10%
Book reseller 50%
Shipper 10%

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 24/03/2026

Here is the landing page for the UBL of my latest book books2read.com/u/479GzR A reader can go read about the book, and pick from a dozen places to buy, if they are interested. There is no equivalent central page for the paperback edition

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 15/03/2026

I have published eight volumes of short stories, and now that I'm going through Draft2Digital, I have an obvious titling problem. I called the series "The Screw Turns" and each publication was just the series name and volume number. That worked fine on KDP […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 13/03/2026

Only two more resellers, and the publication cycle of "The Book of Joy" through Draft2Digital is done. I am told by others in the #writingcommunity that Hoopla can easily take 10 months to publish, so at this point I am no longer checking status every few […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

PUBLISHING
Barnes & Noble
07 Mar 2026
Hoopla
Long Processing Times
08 Mar 2026

PUBLISHED
Kobo
08 Mar 2026
Apple
09 Mar 2026
Everand
07 Mar 2026
Tolino
07 Mar 2026
OverDrive
12 Mar 2026
cloudLibrary
13 Mar 2026
Vivlio
07 Mar 2026
BorrowBox
08 Mar 2026
Smashwords
07 Mar 2026
Gardners
07 Mar 2026
Bookshop.org
07 Mar 2026
Fable
08 Mar 2026

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/03/2026

Hey #reading and #writingcommunity and #bookstodon people, I have a cover and title question My fiction work is mainly short story collections. I publish the shorts when the pile of completed work reaches around 50k words, and thus far, have kept the same […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

Kobo books page, showing a list of eight book cover thumbnails, and the volume number of each book is clear-ish on the cover, and the name "The Screw Turns Volume X" on each is reasonably easy to tell one collection from another

D2D book page. Now the image doesn't have a volume number, and the way the page displays book details has "The Screw Turns" as the title, and underneath "The Screw Turns" again in a different and smaller font, followed by , comma, and volume number.

Far less easy to distinguish each book from the others

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 09/03/2026

whooaaa ... when did paperback prices go up so much? I just did the Draft2Digital thing for a paperback version of my eBook novel, and the printing costs are a real cold shower. It may surprise you to learn that the eBook nets me more royalty that the […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/03/2026

And done. It's slightly thrilling to see all the bookseller platforms D2D goes to

Live status updates for this book:
Tolino - Published @ Tolino on March 7, 2026, 20:23 PM

cloudLibrary - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 18:18 PM

Hoopla - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 18:21 PM

Bookshop.org - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 18:46 PM

Everand - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 18:46 PM

Smashwords - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 18:47 PM

Vivlio - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 18:49 PM

Apple - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 18:58 PM

OverDrive - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 19:08 PM

Gardners - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 19:15 PM

Fable - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 19:18 PM

Kobo - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 19:47 PM

BorrowBox - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 19:48 PM

Barnes & Noble - Submitted to Distributor on March 7, 2026, 20:19 PM

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/03/2026

The Draft2Digital welcome letter is sweet. Automated, probably also AI generated, but still sweet. Imagine if more people actually felt this way

We're thrilled to let you know your payment and tax information has been successfully verified!

This means any books you have set up are now on track for publication and will begin processing.

We'll be sending your books to the vendors you've selected shortly, and you can expect to see your books available for purchase very soon.

Here's what to expect next:

You'll be receiving a separate email notification (according to your notification preferences) once your books go live at retailers.

In the meantime, you can see the details for your books at any time through your dashboard by logging in to draft2digital.com and clicking on the title of your book to access the "View Book" page.

We're excited to see your books out in the world! Stay tuned for your publishing notification and feel free to Contact us if you have any questions.

Happy Publishing!
The Draft2Digital Team

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Humphrey Archer @screwturn.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 28/02/2026

Judging from a conversation last night with non #writer friends, there may be some mystery and confusion about #libraries and the #books they stock, and how #authors get paid. Firstly, it does vary, and there is a movement to get paid per page #read, but for […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

Libby catalogue page for "The Book of Joy", an image of the cover, showing a green-eyed deadpan girl in dark clothes, with black hair tied in pigtails with purple ribbon. Behind her are skeletal trees, gloom, smoke, and some fires.

The page shows part of the blurb, and various buttons for notifying the patron, reading a samole, or tags.

Kobo author page for the same book, showing part of thd pricing schedule for libraries, and then the start of a long list of countries and their prices

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