iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

My mom, talking to my sister's dog: oh you're so soft and lovable, such a sweet girl [turning to my dog] and you're too lovable too ... in your own way my dog:

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

Quentin Tarantino's How I Met Your Mother

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

I never heard anyone say "for your situational awareness" until last year, and now I've heard it many times, but it sounds like pseudo military/cop speak every time.

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

One thing about limiting the number of people you follow is that you start to assume everybody you follow is sort of like a friend. And then you remember that one of them is actually a famous author whose books you love

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

slightly increase a band Queens of the Bronze Age

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

My superpower is the ability to time my ECF log-ins so that the authentication app code changes in the four seconds that elapse between looking at the code on my phone and entering it on the website.

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

Give me your favorite non-Trek performance from a Star Trek actor: (I have two: Cisco and Picard playing Othello)

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

maybe your colleague is afraid of drawers honestly you have to assert your dominance otherwise the drawers will steal things and laugh at you when you're sleeping

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

I mean think about how many major crimes stories out there where the end of the story is "and no one ever found out who it was." it's just not that many

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

what are the odds that the canvas hackers get away with it?

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

motion in the Court of History to overrule Chief Justice John Roberts

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

Question for anyone who is going on a cruise: Where is your ship licensed & what sort of inspections do they do there?

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

Special abbreviations for my current practice: MsA - misappropriation SrsInt - serious interference with the administration of justice PriorD - prior discipline C&C - clear & convincing evidence (also C&CE) SubstE - substantial evidence

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

What are your personal shorthand abbreviations? Some of mine: M2D - motion to dismiss; also M2__ (any motion to) M4E - motion for extension; also M4__ (any motion for) RhEB - rehearing en banc oppo- - opposition (combine with any of the above) nvg - not very good (written on a print out of a case)

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

Gmail has figured out how to time travel!

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

I think gmail added a new ai feature! A story in four pictures: 1. "Happening soon" tab with three items -- one package from Amazon, which it says was delivered today; 3 items from Chipotle, expected today; and another order from Amazon with an option to track the package /1

Gmail inbox with "Happening soon" tab, with three items: Order from Amazon, 3 items from Chipotle, and another order from Amazon. there are buttons to show details of each of the three items...

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

I don't see the problem the UV damage will be repaired next time the children shed their skin

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

I once knew a guy named Jorge except he pronounced it. George

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

yeah but the people who do understand how the Supreme Court works also think that

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

the real Big Mistakes is watching this stupid show

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

hey my kid's band is trying to get to 1k followers on tiktok & they only need 50 more so follow them pls @petrichordc on tiktok sorry idk how to link it

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

if you had to pick something physical to represent the concept of being unhinged, what would it be? A snake jaw comes to mind bc it actually unhinges, but I don't think that captures it. I'm thinking like a screen door on a mobile home.

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

bro should go back to hosting family feud

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

Name your top 15 TV shows ever, gut instincts only Speed Racer Battlestar Galactica Seinfeld The Office Breaking Bad Better Call Saul Star Trek: Deep Space 9 30 Rock Game of Thrones The Sopranos The Simpsons The Last Kingdom What's Happening Ted Lasso Murderbot

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

me: guess I'll check westlaw westlaw: 2FA please me: never mind I'll use Lexis

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

My "I never had a Nazi phase" t-shirt is raising questions already answered by my t-shirt.

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

what are you supposed to do when you receive a jury summons for someone who hasn't lived at your address for 20 years?

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

out: Retweets are not endorsements. in: Retweets are felonies.

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Reposted by Jack Metzler (cleaned up)

☀️Huma☀️ @huma.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

THANK YOU JACK FINALLY A CREDIBLE VOICE TO SPEAK UP FOR WOMENS RIGHTS *and* WOMENS WRONGS

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

Also outdated and sexist. what about womens rea? What about nonbinary rea?

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

gotta say I read the sign below somebody talking about their church but then something startles them and they say JESUS CHRIST right in the middle. like oh yeah I'm a member of the church of--JESUS CHRIST WTF IS THAT . . . huh, thought I saw something oh well anyway it's the latter day saints one

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

you know to be honest I have spoken of the devil many times and bro has not appeared not even once. Total L saying not even true

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 25/04/2026

My kids band has a new single out today and it completely slaps. open.spotify.com/track/46rYRw...

open.spotify.com

The Richest Witches of the West

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 25/04/2026

I'm watching jury duty and there is an ad in the middle that has one of the actors from jury duty and it's kind of f****** me up

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

Somehow missed this snippet from the birthright citizenship case

JUSTICE GORSUCH: Counsel, real talk — the 14th Amendment says 'subject to the jurisdiction thereof,' no cap, so Imma need you to vibe with me on something. Your friend says that phrase is giving major 'we meant everyone born on U.S. soil' energy, but like, didn't the drafters literally ghost that interpretation when they debated the Civil Rights Act of 1866?
GENERAL SAUER: When Congress --
JUSTICE GORSUCH: And isn't it kind of slay that we'd read jurisdictional language to do the most when the historical receipts are giving totally different vibes? So be honest with me — aren't you just asking us to yeet 150 years of interpretive practice because the outcome goes hard for your client?"

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

You know this is all in good fun but I have had this judge

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Jack Metzler (cleaned up) @scotusplaces.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

If this is true we can know exactly how many days off Kash has had. He was confirmed Feb 20, 2025, 426 days ago. So for both him and previous directors, days off + days working = 426. For kash, dw = 2 pddw and do = pddo/2. With some simple substitution, kash has taken 142 days off and worked 284.

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