iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

No one understands how much the 'Muslims commit every sin under the sun but drinking alcohol and eating pork' line makes me laugh. It takes me straight back to when we were freshly engaged

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irrefutable proof that toddlers are the most dangerous creatures to a baby

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Remember when toddler Arthur was having the time of his life repeatedly popping baby Paul’s pacifier in and out just to watch him cry and un-cry like it was some sort of game

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And don't get me started on blokes who hold the door open for you until you shuffle past knowing full well they wouldn't care doing that if you were a man like I wish they'd just let it swing back and smack me in the face

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Part of actual gender equality means that when you’re on the Tube, you shouldn't expect a seated bloke to give up his spot for you. Yet you still get women whining, 'Whatever happened to chivalry? Why don't men give up their seats anymore?' :vvvv

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think we've got a total misapprehension here. Do French parents ever actually get angry, or do they just stand there puffing on a cigarette and muttering 'bof'

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At precisely 08:05, the local school bus had glided past the driveway, its exhaust releasing a soft puff of blue smoke in mocking farewell as it vanished down the boulevard.

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You lot are giving me serious flashbacks to my younger years, when I tried to bury my Middle Eastern side once, twice, a dozen times over because it didn't align with that polished European side

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I once talked about the bourgeois crowd trying so desperately to shed their own identity, only to end up as a botched, mutilated version of Europeans. They’re pathetic to me

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Azerbaijan banning the hijab is honestly hilarious bitches trying so desperately to be a France 🤣

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Some people are out there partying while others are out here perishing. (It’s me, I’m the one perishing)

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my head is pounding. I had a row with my husband this morning, and the headache still shows no sign of shifting

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And please, don’t go judging the rest of us based on the riff-raff you see wandering around Italy. I know for a fact Italy is flooded with Egyptians it’s practically second only to Saudi Arabia and right ahead of the US for hosting our population

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Do you reckon I should chuck those two months in Egypt onto my CV under the guise of 'working under immense pressure'? Mind you, I did six months in A&E before that, but still...

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I’m not going to specify that it happened in Egypt, because you’ll inevitably assume our youth are dim, which is hardly accurate and Black people from Kenya and Zimbabwe are not the original Egyptians, thank you very much

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I’ve just remembered this ridiculous moment. A nurse asked a thin teenager to step on the scales, and he swaggered back over with absolute confidence and went, '140 kilos'

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Like I keep telling my sister that every man can afford marriage instantly if he actually wants to, but she insists that’s terribly old-fashioned as if they’re just 'testing the waters' with each other. I just go, 'Right, fine every sheep hangs by its own ankle in the end'

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If you watch the animal kingdom, you’ll notice the male just rocks up for a bit of action and disappears into thin air, leaving the mother to handle everything from A to Z. Valid except that we aren't animals

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So this woman Elizabeth is currently having a total meltdown because the bloke she had children with has completely turned around and gone, 'Not my kids,'

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This nounou is heartless. You see my son sobbing his heart out and you can't even be bothered to grab a tissue and wipe his tears and snot off his face

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The local park had been selected for a wholesome, high-culture outing a brisk afternoon walk to expose baby Paul to the noble, gentle beauty of woodland fauna.

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Anyway, today I saw a mother who stood her toddler up so she could adjust her coat. He immediately clung to her, so she nudged him back a bit and said, 'Just let me sort myself out' but he clung to her again, When is it going to be my turn to have a tiny human who sees me as their whole world

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How it feels for the Middle East to be the centre of attention and war simultaneously the cradle of religions, yet God’s wrath seems perpetually reserved for it every single time

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Ed Foster. @fo5tered.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

France 24 don't know how to shut their trap. Out of nowhere, they pop up with a breaking news alert saying France has warned its citizens against travelling to Jeddah, Riyadh, and Dammam. Husband immediately goes, 'Didn't you say you were visiting Jeddah next November? Well, I don't think so'

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Reposted by .

Pickle, the Robin, sitting in the water bowl on my balcony a couple of days ago 🪶 #birds #DDOR

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. @sarah-285.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

the sort of outfit I’d wear to walk my future child to the local kindergarten because being a mum doesn’t mean you have to be overweight or stinky

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. @sarah-285.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

the only reason I tolerate a chilly day with no snow is that it gives me an excuse to throw on a long coat with black tights and a killer pair of heels

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Confused White Cat Zoning Out at Table

Do you reckon my husband kissed his exes with the exact same passion he reserves for me? Should I kick off a massive row with him about it tonight

static.klipy.com

ALT: Confused White Cat Zoning Out at Table

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I genuinely can't decide if I actually like minimalism or if it's bad for my brain. An empty space leaves my mind feeling hollow, but the second there’s too much clutter around, my brain goes into overdrive processing all the extra noise and I get overstimulated

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Subreddit: r/AskReddit Posted by u/Paul_Verlaine_Official Title: What is the most poetic method to clean dried blood out of a crushed velvet waistcoat after a passionate altercation?

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Wallahi, I am a virtuous lady

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So I’ve looked up what 'missionary' means after seeing it everywhere online, and lo and behold, it’s literally my go-to position. Never even bothered to find out what it was called but as I’ve said before, when the tackle is top-tier, names are utterly irrelevant. Thanks and goodbye

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Subreddit: r/RelationshipAdvice Posted by u/Paul_Verlaine_Official Title: Urgent: Best positions when your partner’s leg is completely mangled? u/Paul_Verlaine_Official:

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I mean, look at people out there straining so hard to brand themselves as perverts, trying to force the aesthetic, and they just end up looking like virgins who get all their ideas off Twitter and that fanfic site I forget the name of

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Do you reckon if I put on my CV that I’m a Rimbaud-Verlaine shipper, it’d give it a bit of a boost? Seeing as they are a French couple, and the French are natural perverts

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Do you reckon if I put on my CV that I lived in France, it would give me a boost? Like I’ve somehow been infected with the spirit of the French Revolution

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I'm hardly going to get cross at my future kids for leaving crumbs all over the rug because their father will be cleaning that up anyway like aren't those your children? Right, off you go with the hoover

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If I gave my son Paulie a ma'amoul biscuit bigger than his hand, half of it would end up crumbling all over the rug while he wandered around munching microscopic bites out of it yet somehow, I wouldn’t even get mad at him

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If Emma Roberts is transphobic, why did that model Alex agree to work with her? I mean, people aren't always genuine when it comes to their own causes

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My son is such a fast learner 🥰 *hugs him*

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Nounou knelt beside Paul, strapping a tiny, avocado-shaped backpack onto his shoulders. Inside the backpack rested his primary objective: a tiny container of warm pureed 🍐 and sweet potato, complete with a miniature soft spoon.

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told him and he cackled in my face I didn't realise I'd cracked a joke

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I’ve got a nasty feeling that my husband’s genes are going to steamroll mine and all our kids will end up looking just like him. That way, whenever we have a row and I can’t bear the sight of his face, I’ll only have to look at my children to see him all over again 😭😭

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Now and then, I'll slap on some jasmine-scented stuff and trick myself into thinking it’s just the smell in the air and that it’s spring

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Do let us join the European Union, we are entirely European too, waah waah waah 🇹🇷🇪🇺

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