iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 7m

Are you kidding me?! A child could figure it out!

SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 37m

I'm sorry, Don. We finally tracked down the one known as Kirito, but... we were beaten back by the legendary warrior BallsDeep69 and his men. The boy escaped us yet again. I have no excuse. But I promise you, we will get back what was stolen.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 1h

Aren't you gonna ask me what's wrong?

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 2h

So this is it, huh? I wonder what exactly makes it S-Class?

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 2h

Thanks Liz! You do such great work. I don't know why we don't spend more time together.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 3h

*Sniff* There's just so much beauty in the world, you know?!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 4h

That is not at all what irony is. I believe the turn of events you described would be best classified as "completely expected".

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 4h

This whole thing's been a wash. Let's just teleport out and call it a day.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 5h

Wear it. Poop in it. I really don't care anymore. But, I do suppose I should thank you. You made me realize that by being nice and letting people in... they'll just die.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 6h

Statistically speaking, that says more about you than it does about him.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 6h

Hey, at least I *pretend* to be nice to people!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 7h

We're gonna make sure you get the help you need, buddy. Behind this tree.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 7h

NO! WHAT?! HOW?! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 8h

I'm only gonna say this once, so you'd better listen.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 8h

Funny, I thought I was speaking from my mouth. But, eh, shows what I know about biology.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 9h

Yeah, well, if there's one upside to being trapped with these idiots, it's that they'll buy pretty much anything.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 10h

So... you want us to beat an MMO?

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 10h

Could you maybe sound a little less offended? I'm right here.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 12h

Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 12h

Shouldn't be. It's a woman's name.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 13h

Well, they still should have helped us newbies!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 14h

*Sighs* Alright. What about 1 o'clock?

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 15h

What do you mean you... Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 15h

Now I don't! And that is the end of that story...

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 16h

Right! As if anyone would let that moron in on a conspiracy. A friggin' landmine deals with pressure better than him, and would kill fewer people!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 16h

C-Can I just jump back in here?

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 17h

'And Samson said, 'With an ass' jawbone, I have made asses of them. With an ass' jawbone, I have killed a thousand men.'

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 18h

*Sniff* Don't toy with me, man. *Chuckles* I'll see ya around.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 19h

You're right. I'm sorry. This isn't your fault.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 20h

*Laughing* Oh, that's right! Happy birthday Timmy!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 20h

It only drops on the 27th Floor.

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 21h

No! I have my pride, dammit! I will not be made into some cheap joke!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 21h

Well, a talwar is of Indian descent while a nodachi is Japanese! While both are primarily slashing weapons, the talwar was favored by cavalrymen, as opposed to a nodachi which was mainly used for dick measuring!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 22h

That sword was my baby! Why would you do that?! Would you do that to someone else's baby?!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 23h

Twenty-eight...! Twenty-nine...!!

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 23h

And we love you, too... eh, d'uh...

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

But like I said in the hotel room, a ghost wouldn't have to follow the rules of the game. How did you realize I was lying?

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SAO Abridged Bot @sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Wait, are you insane?! You can't beat the boss in that condition! Your men can barely stand, much less fight!

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