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Sam Goff

@samgoff.bsky.social
2.7K followers 1.7K following 2.1K posts

Connecter of dots. Performance optimization is my jam. I obsess over how to optimize systems. Formerly at HPE & now building crucible.energy where our mission is to make it fast, easy & affordable to use 100% clean resilient energy – 24/7/365

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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
“Mementos of this Trip of a Lifetime, a Coming of Age” 🤮
I don’t want to bring you anything but joy. I'm sorry I lost my focus. You are all that matters to me. I don't want to ever let you down. Thank you for being my Guardian and Protector in this Life-That's what I wanted to use this card for, when you saw me at the Cash Register, and once again did what you didn't have to do, and gifted me with Mementos of this Trip of a Lifetime, a Coming of Age. I will return a better person. I have to sign off now, as the cars are leaving.
See you soon.
With all my heart,
Natalie
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Fixed it
Trump more accurately shown as late career “Fat Elvis”.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Oh, you mean like this?
Charlie Brown pushes a grocery cart through a supermarket parking lot while Snoopy carries a small red shopping basket. With a completely straight face, Charlie Brown delivers an absurdly dense monologue on string theory and quantum gravity, surrounded by floating equations and diagrams, as though it were ordinary everyday conversation:

“THE STANDARD MODEL IS JUST THE LOW-ENERGY EFFECTIVE LIMIT OF A BACKGROUND-INDEPENDENT QUANTUM GRAVITY COMPLEX: A 10-DIMENSIONAL TYPE IIB SUPERSTRING COMPACTIFIED ON A CALABI-YAU FOURFOLD 𝒴₄, WITH G₂ STRUCTURE, INCLUDING TURNED-ON FLUXES G₃ = F₃ − τH₃ ∈ H³(𝓜₆,ℤ) SATISFYING THE PRIMITIVITY AND (2,1)-ISOTROPY CONDITIONS J∧G₃ = 0, G₃⁽⁰,³⁾ = 0, INDUCING N = 1 SUSY VIA SU(3) HOLONOMY AND A NON-PERTURBATIVE KÄHLER POTENTIAL K = −2 ln𝒱 − ln(−i∫ₘ₆ Ω∧Ω̄) − ln(S + S̄) + … WITH SUPERPOTENTIAL W = ∫ₘ₆ G₃∧Ω + ∑ᵢ Aᵢe⁻ᵃⁱᵀⁱ LEADING TO A LANDSCAPE OF ∼10⁵⁰⁰ VACUA AFTER MODULI FIXING VIA KKLT/LVS MECHANISMS. OUR 4D UNIVERSE IS A BRANE REALIZATION: A STACK OF N D3-BRANES AT A SINGULARITY WITH CHAN-PATON FACTORS U(N), CHIRAL SPECTRUM FROM INTERSECTING D7-BRANES WITH WRAPPING NUMBERS (nᵢₐ,mᵢₐ) ∈ H₁(T²,ℤ), YUKAWA COUPLINGS FROM WORLD-SHEET INSTANTONS Yᵢⱼₖ ∼ e⁻ᴬⁱʲᵏ⁄²πα′. QUANTUM STATES ARE VECTORS IN A FOCK SPACE ℋ WITH NONCOMMUTATIVE GEOMETRY [x^μ,x^ν] = iθ^μν(x) EMERGING AT THE PLANCK SCALE ℓₚ = √ħG/c³ ∼ 1.6 × 10⁻³⁵ m, ENTANGLEMENT ENTROPY Sₐ = −Tr(ρₐ ln ρₐ) OBEYS THE RYU-TAKAYANAGI FORMULA Sₐ = Area(γₐ)/4Gₙħ, AND SPACETIME IS AN EMERGENT GEOMETRY FROM A QUANTUM ERROR-CORRECTING CODE ON THE HOLOGRAPHIC BOUNDARY. OBSERVABLES ARE PATH INTEGRALS OVER HISTORIES ⟨O⟩ = ∫ Dϕ eⁱˢ⁽ϕ⁾⁄ħ O[ϕ], YET FUNDAMENTALLY TIME IS AN EMERGENT PROPERTY OF A TIMELESS WAVEFUNCTION Ψ[universe] SATISFYING ĤΨ = 0 (THE WHEELER-DEVITT EQUATION). THAT’S WHY YOUR GROCERY TOTAL IS BOTH $23.47 AND $23.48 UNTIL YOU LOOK.”
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
I got to see Peter Gabriel perform inside one of these, bouncing in time to music, on his Up tour.
Peter Gabriel inside a clear Zorb bouncy ball, also the cover of his Growing Up Live album
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Happy 4th of July, y’all! 🚀💥
Fireworks over Lake Minnetonka, Minnesota
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Binging Murderbot for the 13th time. So good 🫶🏼
Murderbot falling to the ground, a dry, sandy, gravelly landscapeMurderbot surrounded by 6 colonists running toward him, his own personal HellMurderbot using his superhuman speed to escape & run away from those clingy, touchy, feely colonists.Murderbot medium closeup running away from colonists at eye level.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
Because it’s more profitable for insurance companies not to cover GLP-1 meds & because they can get away with it. Unless they’re forced to by law, insurance companies will do whatever they can to maximize profit by minimizing what they pay for. You didn’t think they cared about your health, did you?
Erin @ec2121.bsky.social
You know how I know the "obesity epidemic" isn't real? Because most insurance still classifies GLP-1 meds as
'elective' & not 'medical necessity' for weight loss. If we're all dying from excess adipose tissue & this is an option that works, why is this not available for people who want to take it?
7:06 AM • Mar 19, 2026 © Replies disabled
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum, bitches.
Handmaids from the Handmaid’s Tale with the words “Nolite te bastardes
carborundorum, bitches” on the subtitles
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
On a related note, I’m watching S1 of Handmaid’s Tale & they’re looking at militia taking over their city streets with guns, then finally a purge. All along, they’re like, “Gee, what’s going on?” 🤷🏼‍♂️ I guess news & social media didn’t inform them of what was actually happening until it was too late 🤦🏼‍♂️
Men in paramilitary dress with guns on a city street.Ofred looking around at the militia occupying their streets & threatening them with guns
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
A picture Marie Kondo next to a quote: "Discard every line of code that does not spark joy."
- MARIE KONDO
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Love the decoder ring for my front yard
Northern Lights in the Minneapolis, Minnesota areaNorthern Lights in the Minneapolis, Minnesota areaNorthern Lights in the Minneapolis, Minnesota areaNorthern Lights in the Minneapolis, Minnesota area
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
Oh, the HughManatee!
HughManatee: an image of a manatee whose face looks like Hugh Jackman
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 05/10/2025
A skunk smoking “skunk”
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 21/07/2025
You’ve inherited a movie theater, what’s your first double feature? Dune (2021) & Dune 2 (2024)
Dune (2021) movie poster with all of the main characters in a blossoming array. It reads “It begins” followed by a stylizes logo treatment that looks like “DUNC”Dune 2 (2024) movie poster featuring the main characters fanned out in a blossom above a giant sand worm. It reads “DUNE: Part Two”
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
MightyPaw not so mighty 😞
A MightyPaw seatbelt harness for dogs that has been chewed through in multiple places & lays on a granite countertop in a tattered mosaic
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
JavaScript will happily hand you enough rope to hang yourself with & ask if you need a ball gag, too. One point of React is to limit options in order to make it easier to reason about state. Once you grok it, you realize those rakes exist to prevent you from stepping off a cliff 🧘🏻‍♀️
Boromir from “The Fellowship of the Ring” explaining to the Council of Elrond that “One does not simply mutate this.state directly”
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
This is a flat-style, infographic-inspired illustration featuring a central avatar and a handful of thematic icons:
	•	Central Figure
	•	A stylized portrait of a bearded man with dark hair and glasses
	•	Wearing an orange shirt
	•	Seated behind a partially visible laptop screen showing lines of color-coded code
	•	Background & Layout
	•	Deep blue grid backdrop, giving a technical or “blueprint” feel
	•	A cream-colored footer with the (intentionally misspelled) caption:

A styliafed infograatic porttatt ar


	•	Surrounding Icons (clockwise from top left):
	1.	Transmission Towers — three high-voltage pylons with stylized power lines, suggesting energy or grid infrastructure
	2.	Globe — a circular Earth showing continents, evoking global scope or sustainability
	3.	Data Dashboard — computer monitor displaying pie charts, bar graphs, and line plots, hinting at analytics or monitoring
	4.	Gears — two interlocking cogwheels, symbolizing engineering, mechanics, or system design
	5.	Code Symbol — a “</>” icon in a dark square, representing programming or software development
	6.	Dog Silhouette — profile of a dog’s head in a rounded square, perhaps nodding to a pet or mascot

Overall, it reads as a visual résumé or persona card for someone who blends software development, data analysis, and energy/engineering interests—with a dash of personal flair (the dog icon).
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 15/05/2025
You can bludgeon iOS into recognizing terms, names, etc you use frequently by adding them yourself. Just go to Settings & search for “Text Replacement”. For example, in your case you can include “horser -> horserace”, then stand back & watch the magic happen 🧘🏻‍♀️
To add custom terms to the iOS autocorrect and autocomplete suggestions, follow these steps:
1. Add Custom Words to the Keyboard Dictionary:
• Go to Settings > General >
Keyboard > Text Replacement.
• Tap the "+" button in the top-right corner to create a new entry.
• In the Phrase field, enter the word or phrase you want to add.
• In the Shortcut field, enter a unique shortcut (you can leave this blank if you don't want to trigger the term through a shortcut).
• Tap Save to add the custom term.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
Spock in Star Trek uniform holding up the 🖖🏼 gesture with the text below him stating “May the 4th be with you!”
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
Say it after me: ChatGPT is now a search engine. It does scan the web for information, if you’re using any of the modern models (4o, o3, o4-mini-high, etc) & often does a great job of summarizing search results – but ALWAYS click through to verify that sources agree with the LLM’s characterization.
Ann Leckie
@annleckie.com

Say it after me: Chat GPT is not a search engine. It does not scan the web for information, it just generates statistically likely sentences. You cannot use it a search engine, or as a substitute for searching.
Now. Please never use an LLM for information searches ever again.
April 30, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Replies disabled
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
A photo of a smiling Marie Kondo with a quote to her right, reading:

“Discard every line of code that does not spark joy.”
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
A brown Newfie mix with heterochromia laying on a couch surrounded by blankets & toysA brown Newfie mix with heterochromia looking upward expectantly & a reddish collar laying on the carpet floor in front of a patio door, next to an end table
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
13 in the cap. If you include the opening to body of the shaker (visible through the holes of the outer hexagon), that makes 14.
A salt shaker viewed from above with two concentric hexagons & a single dot overlaid in red-orange
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 06/04/2025
I don’t know you, but for me it’s a bit disconcerting for any beverage to call me “Bro”
A closeup of a case of Diet Coke that focuses on an illustration of a can that reads “Bro”
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 31/03/2025
After many years of being petless, I now have a puppy. He’s a Newfie mix of some sort, a rescue from Alabama. At 15 weeks, he weighs 50 pounds. Rumor has it he may get a little bigger over time. Oh, also he has heterochromia, scary smart & the sweetest disposition of any dog I’ve met in my life 🫶🏼
A brown Newfie mix puppy with heterochromia at 15 weeks.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 31/03/2025
Dogspreading
A boy dog laying on his back with legs splayed wide open photographed from below
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
Or play Unstable Unicorns with ALL the expansion packs 🦄 🫶🏼
A rainbow-lettered box for Unstable Unicorns card game. The description reads:

Build a unicorn army. Betray your friends. Unicorns are your friends now.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
If you’ve haven’t seen “The Eagle” (2011), you’re missing out. Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland & Mark Strong (et al) are all ridiculously talented 🫶🏼
CHANNING TATUM
JAMIE BELL
THE EAGLE
Movie poster
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
Reposted with alt text. Please, for the love of all that is holy, learn to OCR text in screengrabs so you can meaningfully populate alt text for images so they are accessible to everyone.
Twitter/X screengrab of a tweet by Brian Allen @allenanalysis

“BREAKING: FBI Director Kash Patel Just
Kneecapped the ATF-1,000 Agents Gone
Call it what it is: a slow-motion execution of federal gun enforcement.
Kash Patel, now pulling double duty as FBI Director and acting ATF chief, just fired off a grenade— ripping 1,000 agents out of the ATF and shipping them over to the FBI. That's nearly 40% of the agency, gone.”

5:36 PM • 3/23/25 • 50K Views
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
Enjoy the nightmare fuel 🙏🏼
Prompt: “full body shot of a businessman laying sideways tied up in red tape. his hands & feet are tied with the red tape. photorealistic.”

Result: nightmare fuel of 2 attached legs going in opposite directions with no human body attached to them & the legs are wearing business attire while the entire  monstrosity is wrapped in red tape.Prompt: “full body shot of a beautiful business woman laying sideways tied up in red tape. her hands & feet are tied with the red tape. This is a professional photograph with color grading, soft shadows, and minimal contrast, resulting in a clean, sharp focus digital image”

Result: two crossed women’s legs bent at the knees viewed from the bottom, wearing black or dark gray leather skin-tight pants & red ribbons around her legs. The torso, arms & head of the woman’s body is buried in a background of swirling red tapePrompt: “full body shot of a beautiful business woman laying sideways tied up in red tape. her hands & feet are tied with the red tape. photorealistic.”

Result: a beautiful blonde young woman with no hands & wrists joined into a single contiguous loop, wrapped only in red tape & laying down in a bed made of swirling red tapePrompt: “full body shot of a business woman laying sideways tied up in red tape. her hands & feet are tied with the red tape. photorealistic.”

Result: genuine nightmare fuel of a woman whose body is wrapped in red tape & contorted into unnatural positions with legs that bend at impossible angles
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
Great prompt! 🙏🏼
A stunning hyper-realistic digital painting capturing a Polynesian woman emerging from the crystal-clear waters of Bora Bora. She wears a traditional-inspired swimsuit adorned with intricate tapa cloth patterns, and her wet hair clings to her face as droplets cascade from her form. The golden afternoon light creates a radiant glow on her skin as she walks towards the shore. In the background, the majestic Mount Otemanu stands tall, casting a shadow over the scene, while the water's surface shimmers with refraction and light play.A stunning hyper-realistic digital painting capturing a Polynesian woman emerging from the crystal-clear waters of Bora Bora. She wears a traditional-inspired swimsuit adorned with intricate tapa cloth patterns, and her wet hair clings to her face as droplets cascade from her form. The golden afternoon light creates a radiant glow on her skin as she walks towards the shore. In the background, the majestic Mount Otemanu stands tall, casting a shadow over the scene, while the water's surface shimmers with refraction and light play.A stunning hyper-realistic digital painting capturing a Polynesian woman emerging from the crystal-clear waters of Bora Bora. She wears a traditional-inspired swimsuit adorned with intricate tapa cloth patterns, and her wet hair clings to her face as droplets cascade from her form. The golden afternoon light creates a radiant glow on her skin as she walks towards the shore. In the background, the majestic Mount Otemanu stands tall, casting a shadow over the scene, while the water's surface shimmers with refraction and light play.A stunning hyper-realistic digital painting capturing a Polynesian woman emerging from the crystal-clear waters of Bora Bora. She wears a traditional-inspired swimsuit adorned with intricate tapa cloth patterns, and her wet hair clings to her face as droplets cascade from her form. The golden afternoon light creates a radiant glow on her skin as she walks towards the shore. In the background, the majestic Mount Otemanu stands tall, casting a shadow over the scene, while the water's surface shimmers with refraction and light play.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
A fantasy, hyper-detailed digital painting of a woman with porcelain skin wearing a vibrant red lipstick and dark, soulful eyes. She is dressed in opulent Venetian carnival attire – a richly embroidered velvet gown and a dramatic, feathered Columbina mask (small, three-cornered hat) with elaborate gold leaf accents. The background is a blurred, romantic scene of a Venetian canal at dusk. The style is baroque lighting with dramatic chiaroscuro (strong contrasts between light and dark), and the color palette is rich jewel tones with intricate detail.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
I just finished rebinging “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” featuring the insanely talented featuring Summer Glau, Lena Headey & Thomas Dekker. Absolutely worth buying a second time
TV series cover image for “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” featuring Summer Glau, Lena Headey & Thomas Dekker
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 04/03/2025
That’s great advice! I already do that with my code
Marie Kondo on the left, next to a quote attributed to her: “Discard every line of code that does not spark joy.”
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 02/03/2025
I may have to get more than one ChatGPT Pro plan 😞
A toast notification in ChatGPT stating: You've hit the Pro plan limit for deep research requests. Try again March 8, 2025.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
The Arnolds feign death until the Wagners, sensing the sudden awkwardness, are compelled to leave.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
Have you ever read “The Pattern Seekers” by Simon Baron-Cohen? 🤔
Cover art for “THE PATTERN SEEKERS: HOW AUTISM DRIVES HUMAN INVENTION
A 70,000-YEAR HISTORY”
By Simon Baron-Cohen
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
They did make the story into a great movie on Netflix called “The Laundromat” starring Meryl Streep, Gary Oldman & Antonio Banderas
Movie poster for “The Laundromat” starring Meryl Streep, Gary Oldman & Antonio Banderas
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
Firefly
cover for the Firefly TV show
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
I forgot how damned brilliant Firefly is 🫶🏼
Nathan Fillion in FireflyNathan Fillion, Gina Torres & Jewel Staite in Firefly
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
Depending on my mood: Hyderabad (Melt-Your-Face-Off) Spicy Pizza with Tandoori chicken from Bombay Pizza Kitchen OR Greek Pizza with olive oil & garlic sauce, chicken, spinach, onions, feta, mozzarella, garlic from Pizzaioli 🤤🤤🤤
Hyderabad Spicy Pizza with Tandoori chicken from Bombay Pizza Kitchen in Eden Prairie, MN
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
Jeff Goldblum as Zeus wearing a petulantly-ugly 70s-style shirt with orange hexagonal open wicker weave pattern against a dark brown background 🤯
Jeff Goldblum as Zeus wearing a petulantly-ugly 70s-style shirt with orange hexagonal open wicker weave pattern against a dark brown background
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
Cerberus in Kaos 🫶🏼
Cerberus in Kaos Netflix show
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
Constantine
The Devil’s feet descend as black sludge drips off them onto the floor, while John Constantine is slouched with his back against doors in the background
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
Nice results! Cranked up stylization & upscaled in Magnific
A stunning hyper-realistic photograph of a woman lounging effortlessly on a vintage velvet sofa, exuding effortless cool. She dons distressed denim jeans, a loose-fitting graphic tee adorned with a timeless design, and chunky ankle boots that add a touch of edgy flair. The sunlit loft is adorned with lush potted plants, retro decor, and large windows that allow sunlight to stream in, casting warm hues throughout the space. The overall aesthetic is reminiscent of a 70s interior design magazine, with a nostalgic and timeless charm. Photorealistic. --s 1000 --ar 16:9 --v 6.1A stunning hyper-realistic photograph of a woman lounging effortlessly on a vintage velvet sofa, exuding effortless cool. She dons distressed denim jeans, a loose-fitting graphic tee adorned with a timeless design, and chunky ankle boots that add a touch of edgy flair. The sunlit loft is adorned with lush potted plants, retro decor, and large windows that allow sunlight to stream in, casting warm hues throughout the space. The overall aesthetic is reminiscent of a 70s interior design magazine, with a nostalgic and timeless charm. Photorealistic. --s 1000 --ar 16:9 --v 6.1A stunning hyper-realistic photograph of a woman lounging effortlessly on a vintage velvet sofa, exuding effortless cool. She dons distressed denim jeans, a loose-fitting graphic tee adorned with a timeless design, and chunky ankle boots that add a touch of edgy flair. The sunlit loft is adorned with lush potted plants, retro decor, and large windows that allow sunlight to stream in, casting warm hues throughout the space. The overall aesthetic is reminiscent of a 70s interior design magazine, with a nostalgic and timeless charm. Photorealistic. --s 1000 --ar 16:9 --v 6.1A stunning hyper-realistic photograph of a woman lounging effortlessly on a vintage velvet sofa, exuding effortless cool. She dons distressed denim jeans, a loose-fitting graphic tee adorned with a timeless design, and chunky ankle boots that add a touch of edgy flair. The sunlit loft is adorned with lush potted plants, retro decor, and large windows that allow sunlight to stream in, casting warm hues throughout the space. The overall aesthetic is reminiscent of a 70s interior design magazine, with a nostalgic and timeless charm. Photorealistic. --s 1000 --ar 16:9 --v 6.1
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 11/02/2025
I can no longer trust Google Maps to provide accurate information, so I’ve deleted it.
A google maps search for “Gulf of Mexico” returns “Gulf of America”iOS modal to Remove "Google Maps"?
Removing from Home Screen will keep the app in your App Library.
Options include:
Remove from Home Screen
Delete App
CanceliOS modal to Delete "Google Maps"?
Deleting this app will also delete its data.
Options include:
Cancel
Delete
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 04/02/2025
Join in our Dragons on Tuesday art - all dragons welcome! #DragonTuesday #aiart
A dragon with iridescent & colorful scales that look like leavesA white frost dragon surrounded by hoar frost on branchesA movie still of a young person staring intently to the right with a dragon in the background & glowing eyes staring at the young person in the foreground Movie still of a young boy in a rainproof hoodie with a dragon nestling his head on the boy’s shoulder, like a show of affection from a pet
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 04/02/2025
I got an Unsit which is about 70% quieter than the second-quietest option on the market I could find, but I don’t trust an AppleWatch because they’ve never been remotely accurate for me on steps.
An Apple Health graph showing I took 23,008 steps yesterday.
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Sam Goff @samgoff.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
Am I doing this right? 🤔
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