Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 30/09/2026When Bea received her gran's #bequest, she was a little perplexed. They'd shared a love of honey, yes, but an entire apiary she didn’t expect. Didn't know where to begin with the expenses spreadsheet. Wanted to hide in the margins, but remembered nana always said be a main not a side quest. #vss365 094
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 26/09/2026C'mon, it's time to let go. Eventually they are old enough to look after themselves. Yeh, it's just, well, she feels like part of me. Of course! You've #nurtured this fear for so long she's got a national insurance number. You can still visit. You're right. I'll think about it. #vss365 072
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I am #hungry! I feel like there's a gaping void where my nutrition should be. Oh the aching pain. Ahh, Ich habe hunger. Schnell. Komm mit!! #vss365 071
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 22/09/2026As i lift my feet to #embark on the short ferrry journey, the assistant reaches out his hand for support. I smile, oh, it's not me that's unsteady, it's the ground beneath. #vss365 052
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Oh my goodness what have you done? You said let's hex paul - so I did a dance macabre invocation. I said, let's #explore, as in leave the house. We've been stuck inside on the computer for days. Oh, my bad. It'll wear off eventually. It does look funny. Shall we take a little video? #vss365 0112
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Is #sanguine pronounced like penguin or wine? Hmm, I'm not sure let's think about this - what's black and white and red all over? a) a newspaper b) a sunburnt penguin c) a sunburnt penguin reading a newspaper drinking a large glass of claret. I'm not sure I understand? Get me a drink idiot! #vss365 0142
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Oh no, here comes #esoteric Derek, he thinks everything has triple hidden meanings. Like the patterns in the clouds are speaking to him. Why don't you ask him what the badge you found this morning means? Aww we'll be here for ages! Oi, Derek, what do you make of this? That? It's nothing. #vss365 072
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Thwack! What the hell was that for? You said I should spend less time in my head and trust my feelings more. And? I had an #intuition you were going to annoy me. That's not how it works. I don't have time for this right now. I'm late. Oh, so who's left with the chores? I was right, again! #vss365 0111
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 03/09/2026She nudges him, "Test this, I'm so tired my body is numb." With his eyes closed, he licks the milk she'd squeezed from the bottle onto the back of her hand. "Perfect." He yawns and turns away muttering, "I'll need an #elixir to wake me up tomorrow." "You'll be lucky to survive the night!" #vss365 092
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 31/08/2026He complained I was expressionless, like a statue in a museum. I said, babe, you haven't done anything worthy of the risk of a frown line or wrinkle yet. You'll know when this #wax work is feeling your work cos you'll be needing sunglasses indoors. You'll think the whole city is on fire. #vss365 1132
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 29/08/2026I bought these beautiful delicate #goves. I'm going to hide one and ask every lady I meet if she lost it. Then I shall surely meet the one. Excuse me, Miss, did you drop this? Ha, no! I never wear them, I like to feel the crack as my knuckles imprint their jawline. Hmm, and are you single? #vss365 0102
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 27/08/2026He arrived at the hotel exhausted and hungry. The porter explained there was no room service due to staff sickness. At least he had somewhere to sleep. After he left, Tim noticed there were no #pillows. He slept on his folded arms and awoke unable to feel his limbs. #vss365 082
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 26/08/2026I painted a #poster and posted it to her to propose a re rendezvous. I sent a posy of her favourite peonies too. I waited an age, but alas the postman returned the unopened parcel to sender. The limp petals caught the reflection of my dismay. Oh, I shall ever wonder, why she did not stay? #vss365 0113
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Aw honey, you baked a cake with your little sister. I knew you two could get along if you tried. The #sponge is so light and moist, the buttercream so fluffy and there's something with an extra bite in this strawberry jam. I think you've got quite a talent. Well done, but where is Victoria? #vss365 192
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 24/08/2026C'mon ref, that's a penalty all day! Miss, please step behind the yellow #cord with the other spectators. Should have gone to Specsavers! Later, she relaxes on her bed. Oh, I see you're not tired hon. Please get back behind the line! He feels wetness on his feet, coated in yellow paint. #vss365 0102
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 22/08/2026The airhostess handed out hot #towels. I wasn't familiar with the ritual, but the man next to me sighed as he unfolded it and placed it on his face. I followed suit, placing mine on top of his. I don't think it was hot enough as he cried out, even though I held it firm until we landed. #vss365 062
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Meg stands at the sink humming as she scrubs the last residue. Fran walks in with her plate, glad she isn't too late. She recoils, what are you doing? Meg squirts more detergent into the lukewarm water. I'm washing Dan's love letters. Why? If washing your mouth with #soap removes curses... #vss365 172
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 16/08/2026I lost the #remote down the back of the sofa. I climbed in and hunted beneath the foam. Found two hairbands, a felt tip and a note to myself to try harder to remember something, but it was torn. I went beneath the springs, but found only a toad gossiping. I'm left wondering what to watch? #vss365 182
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 15/08/2026What are you doing talking to the trees weirdo?! My PE teacher said I should be #ashamed of myself for not taking part in the race. So I came to ask the pines how they deal with the weight of not being able to move quickly. And I suppose they answered back? They told me to look up. #vss365 071
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Welcome to Sal's #shrewd tips to thrive during the crunch of cossie livs. Today's gem is: Don't light a candle at night for it to fight darkness. Light it during the day - the wax and wick will last longer that way. Come back tomoz for some more truly life enhancing gifts. #vss365 0101
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Jim thought bowling would be a safe bet for a first date. But his damn bus was late, finally he rushed in, almost knocking her over. Apologised and bought her a drink, he thinks he might be in with a chance for a strike. But in his haste, he #clings to the ball and follows it down the lane. #vss365 081
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Is that your Dan stood out in the #garden with a colander on his head? Sure is. He knows the eclipse is tomorrow right? Babe, he doesn't know anything about an eclipse. Oh, is that why you were asking which divorce lawyer I used? Amongst other things, yes. #vss365 0111
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 11/08/2026D'ya know the most #evil thing in the world? Asked Tom, seven pints in and slurring. Simon wiped the bar, women? Work? Bubbles! Hic. The monkey? No, the little happy feckers in the glass. That's what gives you a hangover. Doesn't mix with the bitterness inside me body, ya know? #vss365 0175
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Sir, when Shakespeare wrote #toil and trouble, was it a patriarchal construction ascribing wickedness to a tyical female friendship group? Oh dear, I suppose Lady Macbeth wasn't a scheming mistress? Well, do we ask men to project innocent flower archetypes alongside declarations of war? #vss365 191
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 08/08/2026I was gone a week and left simple instructions I watered all the plants exactly as you said. I even sang that stupid bedtime song. You didn't think it was daft when I sang it to you in the crib. Tell me, Mr Watering Can half empty, why the Ivy #sprouted a wall if it isn't dry? Tree? Idiot! #vss365 051
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 06/08/2026How to feed a #fertile imagination? Carefully! You'd think some mindful colouring would be nourishing - but what happens when the orange oozes out and you're fighting off orangutans now? Or a few minutes of yoga child's pose transposes into a game of tag with some newly resurrected dodos? #vss365 0132
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 05/08/2026You don't just get to decide which words rhyme, that would be #chaos. That's the poets job - to disentangle brain noodle jam and create new jellyfish sponges. You're absolutely not writing that down. I just did. The jellyfish sponges of chaos wished to become the mayors of Laos. I resign. #vss365 0112
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 04/08/2026Helen finished the last segment of the satsuma and placed the peel in her pocket. As she strolled along the high street, browsing for new books, a warden tapped her shoulder. Maam, I've issued a statutory litter fine. What? Oh, the #fruit rind must have fallen. Irrelevant. Et tu, jobsworth. #vss365 0112
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 02/08/2026She picks up a blank piece of paper, pen poised, thinking about how to begin her next #creation. What she doesn't know is the protagonist has been waiting patiently within the pulp for the chance to speak. What the character doesn't know is the tree planned the whole story centuries ago. #vss365 041
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 01/08/2026She handcrafted a glazed French peach tart and sped off to finish some chores. On her return, her husband Jack was devouring a second piece. She didn't think twice used the cake slice to dice him. Buried him in the rock garden with the dessert remains. As evening came, #temptation struck. #vss365 051
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 31/07/2026The Detective diligently takes statements from all present. Then spots a wallflower, almost blended completely into the magnolia wall. When did you #arrive madam? Oh, I've just always been here, you know. But no one has mentioned you. Yes, you see, I'm quite dull. His eyes drift. Excuse me. #vss365 162
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 30/07/2026If a heart breaks when a lover's adieu wave become firmly applied hand #brake inside a copse in an ancient forest, does it make a sound? Do the branches of an oak reach down towards the lonely to stroke their cheek with soft green lobulated leaves as though to say, I know how you feel? #vss365 082
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 29/07/2026Catch a coach for a daytrip along the south #coast. Catch a crab in a rock pool, and set it free. Wear sunscreen, but catch a tan. Catch a glance of the ice cream van. Vanilla, or strawberry. Mint or choc chip. Catch the sand between your toes as you Catch your breath with a chill dip #vss365 0123
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 28/07/2026I said I was looking for a decent new guy, she misheard and sent me to the stairwell. Said to #descend to the cellar to find my fella. It was dark as a jail cell, so I fell - only to find myself in the pits of hell. It was like looking in a mirror, I said something I can't repeat here. #vss365 0112
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Speaker, we only have a few moments left, can you bring it to a close? To sum up, the exploration of the world's highest #summits, Everest and K2 is deadlier than shark attacks, bee stings, lightning strikes or even a Cassius blue flapping their wings. #vss365 1103
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 25/07/2026Timmy, do you understand why you're in detention? No, miss, I practised all my spellings and used them in a sentence. Technically yes, but for #ascend, you wrote: dad says we live in the ass end of nowhere. It's just facts. And for converse, you wrote poems by criminals in nerdy trainers. #vss365 2144
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Dave, we're going to have to let you go. You can't exterminate me, I have rights. You haven't #shifted a single unit since you started. The customers are put off by your edginess. This is an outrage. I will call upon the darkness to eliminate you. That's the stuff I'm talking about mate. #vss365 0101
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 23/07/2026She went off like a rocket, where did she go? What did she say? Towards the creek. She said she was late for the hunt. Her hazel green eyes gave me the sense we would be the harvest if we didn't move. But she was unarmed? I don't think that matters. Despatch, all units to Samantha #road. #vss365 0101
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 22/07/2026With the right #tailwind we could get this baby going faster than my age. Ahem, is there a hurricane predicted? Just drive Jeeves. I don't pay you to crack jokes. #vss365 071
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 21/07/2026I told you to source a getaway car. You had one job. I don't get why you're so mad, it's literally a speed record holding car. It's not exactly inconspicuous is it, donut! Plus what happens when we need to #turn a corner? Just put your foot on the gas, at that speed there are no obstacles. #vss365 081
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 19/07/2026They said free drinks we broke into a #sprint turns out it was a joke by some bloke who built a racing car - everyone grumbled as they filtered away - its not the spirit of the day Bolster laughed, pass me a coaster we'll drink champagne from the chassis #vss365 2122
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 18/07/2026There was no #momentum miraculous in itself for the project to be stuck in the same no man's land lack of progress success or anything suggestive of a next step there must be an equal and opposing force no one could find the power source let's put down the oars #vss365 061
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 17/07/2026He wished he could stop and gather his thoughts for a second, but the #headwind was intolerable. Whilst holding the paperwork on his desk, the window slammed against the wall and shattered at his feet. Damn, he'd have to start the visualisation again. Then he saw the stained glass fragment. #vss365 061
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 16/07/2026It was so weird, I was in the boarding queue when this guy started whacking the #departure lounge window. It was really unsettling. Turns out he thought he knew me. Luckily, mum taught me to never talk to strangers. I just laughed and carried on. #vss365 0161
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 15/07/2026A good way to pass the time in autumn is to play conkers. I agree. After defeating several candidates in the playground, I feel quite victorious. Indeed. And can spend the day telling anyone and no one who will listen. I came, I saw, I #conquered. Quite. Can I have my ball back now please? #vss365 081
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Be #patient - the colour drains from the empty space where those words were spoken. Slug trail glistening in the blue light of a mobile phone screen is all that remains remains of loose ends. Can we still be friends? Still? You will revert to being you - and I shall remain #vss365 041
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 12/07/2026She's eccentric He's called Rick She likes to waltz under the full moon He likes to go for jogs at noon She likes to juggle a thousand tasks He likes precision In their elliptical orbits spark filaments of animal #magnetism remnants of their futile attempts at opposition #vss365 1152
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 10/07/2026A single spot on the rail track glistens to match the silver sheen of the maiden's dress. The family rest, relaxed amongst their servants. The children demand turns at piggybacks. Dad needs a rest, his face as pink as the #rose in the path hedge. Mum throws her head back and laughs. #vss365 051
Samantha Carr @samc4rr.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Buttercups and bluebells nod their heads in rhythm with the wind as the sun rises. Piercing rays stretch to warm their soft bellies. They #frolic in morning dew, bewildered ny the trudge of eerie boots passing by. The ring of digital alarms wail in the coat tails of sleepy coffee cup wake. #vss365 0142
