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Salsashark Jr.

@salsasharkjr.bsky.social
10 followers 18 following 86 posts

Inheritor of the title Salsashark Legally this account is parody Escaping Twitter before it collapses PFP CREDIT: twitter.com/xai_ice Linktree: linktr.ee/salsasharkjr

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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Being high and pounding Zapps chips while watching John Oliver at 2am Not sure if it's the weed or the loud crunch of the chips, but I can't hear the crowd laughing in any of these episodes I know he's funny, but without the laughter, this show is deeply horrifying
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
So Tom Clancy's The Division is basically the alternate outcome of episode 19 of season 5 of The X-Files? Spoilers, but basically, the idea to infect American currency with a highly lethal bio-engineered disease to cause a mass casualty event, aided by government insiders betraying their country
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
What the hell is blood oranges problem? Why they look like that? Aura farming ass fruits
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
Watching Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds (2005) have such a visceral reaction of disgust when eating hummus feels a bit wrong I know I was alive back then, but were grown men really so weak that ground chickpeas, oil, and tahini could make them physically recoil?
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
X-Files is such an odd show historically. The amount of stuff it gets right about future tech we now have makes it seem like it couldn't be that old of a show Then boom, baby faced Jack Black and Ryan Reynolds show up playing red shirts
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
I really need an apple orchard experience where I pay them like $40 for the day, then I get to walk around the trees and drink all the apple cider I can handle, and maybe there is some food too, but the cider needs to pour out of wooden kegs into wooden tankards Would totally fix me, I just know it
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
Cranking it under a weighted blanket, call that a heavy handy
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 10/06/2025
The only other time we had to wait two whole years between Resident Evil releases was the break after RE6, and they followed that up with Revelations 2, the game that helped begin the return to horror the series desperately needed February is going to be insane if the theory holds true
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
A tape measure, but every consecutive inch is 1% longer than the last
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 11/04/2025
Sex toy advertisements are funny because they fall into three categories; 1 - Softcore porn, people in lingerie, a bit NSFW 2 - Actual porn, full on nudity, very NSFW 3 - Image of dude in white boxers laying in white bed on his laptop, perusing sex toys as if they'll arrive like a pizza delivery
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
YouTube ambient music playlists be like - when loneliness is no longer a pain, but a comfort - divorced dad playlist - now I am become death, destroyer of worlds - playlist to eat shredded cheese at 3am - stuck in eternal guilt, facing your fears - how it feels to eat freshly baked cookies
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 06/03/2025
TikTok is getting to be almost as bad as Twitter in terms of content moderation. I report people with usernames like gasthejews1488 and get told they aren't violating ToS. They can get away with so much bullshit, it's depressing But I get my comments removed for calling actual Nazis stupid?
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
I don't watch anime often, but when I do, I find it unreasonably funny when a show only has a German dub Not saying the Germans can't enjoy anime, but there is something just gut busting about the idea of a show appealing so much to them that they get a dub before English speakers do
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
Currently watching The Proposal featuring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds inside of a virtual movie theater in the game Garry's Mod, purely to see if it was possible Technology is ridiculous
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
Studying game design in college be like "talk about your favorite game that has an inventory system" Like buddy, you really should've given me a max character limit on this assignment. Now sit back and enjoy my miniature thesis on Resident Evil and the evolution of the inventory management system
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
Forcing users to open Epic Games Launcher to access literally anything should a punishable crime
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 10/01/2025
*Is charged with 34 counts of fraud* But he's innocent! *Is found guilty of 34 counts of fraud* B-but he's not a felon until he's sentenced! *Is sentenced for 34 counts of fraud* B-b-but p-political p-p-persecution! Ngl I'd probably drown in my bathtub if I were that stupid lmao
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
Outlook has got to be the worst email interface I've ever seen, how do people actually use this for business? Why does it sort keyword searches by "Top Result" and not date? I wanted my voucher code from last week, not the one from 2023 you absolute buffoon
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 01/01/2025
It's weird to think that at any time driving through the eastern half of America, you might be driving right by the spot where a bunch of racists waged war to keep slavery alive It's weirder to think that the same could apply any time you drive by one of Elon Musk's mansion
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 30/12/2024
After hearing what Senator Mike Lee said about incandescent light bulbs, I'm convinced all Republicans are suffering from some form of mass hysteria That or their whole platform is built on outrage and a lack of braincells
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
Fast wireless charging? You mean I can just click this button, and you'll go faster? So were you just pretending to be slow this whole time, or are you now doing something you shouldn't do to go faster? What are you doing?
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
Being signed up to the Bulleit Bourbon email list is so funny, because they rarely put out anything new but I do enjoy the biweekly reminder to buy more bourbon
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
Gonna be totally real, Umbrella Corp. would've totally gotten away with it irl The worst punishment evil corporations get in real life America is apparently just settling out of court, or your CEO gets popped in New York
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
My Spotify AI wrapped sounds unhinged lol "In March, you listened to Trocadero. April, a little Midwest Emo and Trocadero. Really mixed it up in May with Trocadero AND elevator music. June and July, more Trocadero? You wouldn't believe what caught your attention in August. Yep, Trocade-"
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
Consider, if you will, whether you pronounce it as a grilled-cheese sandwich or a grilled cheese-sandwich? If the cheese melts, it's a grilled-cheese sandwich. If it doesn't, it's a grilled cheese-sandwich (and probably bad cheese) Now, if you say grilled cheese, you definitely mean the former
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 06/11/2024
Glad to see Jill Stein still failing in the states she tried to disrupt. Love to see bad people fail, couldn't have happened to a worse person (besides Donald Trump) In other news, freshly crack black pepper over any macaroni to improve it. This shit good
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 05/11/2024
GOP Texts, every other minute: "If you don't VOTE FOR US, the DEMS will DESTROY AMERICA and MAKE YOU TRANS" DNC Texts, every other day: "Here's a plan for what we want to get done. Please vote" I miss when the GOP weren't sweaty, weird bigots blowing up my phone constantly
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 01/11/2024
Finally trying to play Far Cry 5 from start to finish, and it is wild the similarities between Peggies and MAGA extremists. I mean, the first they scream at the black guy when he tries to arrest their cult leader is "go back to where you came from" Not surprising, just wild
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 20/10/2024
That's a concerning number and arrangement of threes
A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #3,334,459, Salsashark Jr. ‪@salsasharkjr.bsky.social‬, joined on Feb 6, 2024"
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 05/09/2024
Opening the "Ultimate Dad Rock" playlist in Spotify and seeing my favorite song at the top?? I'm too young for this pain
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 17/08/2024
No way the villain of GGO is a dude basically called Dry Mouth Weed
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 08/08/2024
When Harris/Walz win, I want to start a betting pool with those weird, terminally online righties calling them socialists. With an unbiased moderator, we all bet on whether or not any real socialism comes about in 4 years Fuck, I'd be richer than Elon "Apartheid" Musk
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 30/07/2024
In the song "Kids in America" by The Muffs, why did the new wave stop at East California? What happened in or to West California to prevent the new wave from arriving?
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 13/07/2024
Just saying, but if FemShep was canon, wouldn't Legion have boobs? R34 doesn't count, but I appreciate the effort
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 28/06/2024
A wise man once said, "if you wear the robe properly, you cannot shit your pants. Instead, you shit the world."
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 23/06/2024
Resident Evil: Survivor was right about two things 1. It is a journalists duty to go above and beyond to uncover the injustices of the world 2. A journalist should always stay strapped in the off chance of a biohazard outbreak Simple rules, really
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 18/05/2024
The racist complaints about AC:Shadow are so funny "It's not historically accurate!" The Pope really had a functional wizard staff? "He'd never blend in!" Like a Native American among racist American Settlers? "It's unrealistic!" What about fighting literal Gods?
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 07/05/2024
A majority of Umrella Corp.'s problems could've been solved by not hiring weirdos "Let's cut open little boys skulls with no amnesia!" Let's not do that and just use monkeys instead? Why does it need to be kidnapped human children??
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 16/04/2024
Getting spicy ramen broth in my windpipe got me praying to gods I don't even believe in
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 16/04/2024
My antivirus giving me a popup about my digital footprint feels like a threat. A threat I will summarily ignore
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 08/04/2024
Can't believe I watched the eclipse and didn't see a SINGLE demon. Yall freaks lied to me, the world didn't end 😒
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 08/04/2024
User TheGreatEntree on Xbox reviewing the Metal Gear Solid Remaster bundle and saying that he's going to crank one out over the MGS2 poster girl for old time's sake? That's why I play Xbox, no fear or shame in his eyes. PS bros could never
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 28/03/2024
TV: playing 10+ hour somber ambience Phone: playing video about archeology conspiracies Top Screen: showing chat log with friend Bottom Screen: programming coursework Oh yeah, we're stress testing this brain to see how much stimulus it needs before it collapses
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 27/03/2024
I've seen people stick some crazy stuff up their pee and poo holes. So what's your excuse for not having a pen on you at all times??
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 27/03/2024
In the 5 minutes it took to make ramen for lunch, I saw no less than 5 cop cars drive down my street through my kitchen window I don't know what they're up to, but I don't much care for it
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 19/03/2024
Professor giving me an F for not including something in my submission that wasn't mentioned on the literal instructions page of the assignment There is no excuse to direct me to a second page, an announcement no less, for further instructions that are enough to fail you
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 07/03/2024
First week of learning C++ and figuring out how to make visual studio work Why are there extensions to make your IDE into a cesspool of anime girls? Who did this? Why are they ranked as the most downloaded extensions?
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 25/02/2024
Twitter has fallen. Bigotry is promoted by Musk, especially when it's a paying customer. This is about ten minutes of reporting blatant racism and slurs on a single post. No doubt they'll be given a slap on the wrist and their hatred will be hid behind a screen you click past
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
Maybe this is a hot take, but I'm so tired of games having stupidly flamboyant weapon skins I'm a Vietnam vet turned crime lord hunting the mob boss who killed my family. I would not be using gold plated, ivory accented guns??
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Salsashark Jr. @salsasharkjr.bsky.social · 18/02/2024
Kinda sad how when I'm writing a paper on the local issue of algal blooms and how they impact the wildlife, Microsoft Word wanted to autocorrect "this could greatly impact the local ecosystem" into "this could greatly impact the local economy"
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